Mommy Confession: Bratty

My kid is a brat. I’m talking full on screaming, kicking, destroy everything in her path, kind of a brat. Yea. How she got like this, I haven’t the slightest clue. Some people say it’s “the terrible two” stage. Others say she’s testing our limits. Welp, our limits have been reached.

It’s gotten to the point where I dread having to run errands in town and having to take her with me. Alone. Because that’s when she's the worst! Usually her fits are over me not letting her run around the store. At the grocery store, she’s always wanting to run around and throw things inside the cart. She likes to talk back, and slap at my face if I tell her she can’t have candy. People tell me I should DO something, but what can I do? My daughter is very strong willed, stubborn, and determined. Characteristics that I hope one day will benefit her. I've spanked her before, right in the middle of the aisle. All that does is cause her screaming to get louder. I've tried to just ignore her, and continue like there’s nothing wrong. This usually leads her to hit me or scream “MOMMY” at the top of her lungs. It's exasperating!

I hate being that family. The one everyone looks at and hopes the parents put a muzzle on their child so they can go on with their peaceful shopping. I've noticed that when my husband is with us, she does a complete one-eighty. She’ll throw a tantrum, and he’ll set her straight right away. Very rarely will she challenge him. And if she does, he takes her outside, and spanks her. She comes back in sad, but hardly ever will she act up again after that. When I try to do the same, she pretty much gets worse –louder. People start looking at me, or I’ll hear those comments “If that were my child...” That right there, is probably the most annoying thing I ever hear.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my kid. And I’m not embarrassed by the situation, I just get irritated. It’s the same scenario, over and over again. Every damn time we go out. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to duct tape a kids mouth before, the way I sometimes do with my own kid. Don’t judge, you know you’ve thought it too. These “outbursts” don’t just happen when we’re out and about either. She refuses to listen to me at home too. By the end of my day, my nerves are shot, and I find myself wanting to shove my head under a pillow and be dead to the world. SERIOUSLY, who lets their kid dictate their life like this? Anyone? Anyone? 

Ugh, I’m not exactly sure where to go from here. I have no idea how to handle this type of situation, being a first time mom and all. And I don’t really have any other moms to talk to, that have gone through this. Well besides my own mother, but her answer is to let Em have whatever she wants. And that’s not gunna fly. I’ve also read so many different “stances” you can take. From spanking, to ignoring her. But nothing is working. And my husband can’t always be with us, so I can’t depend on him to be the disciplinarian every time she acts up. I need to figure out how to get control of my own kid. Because currently, she’s controlling me, and that’s just not how these roles are suppose to work. I’m the parent here, right?!

Rockin' Blogger Award

You guys, I'm one lucky lady. Destiny over at Rockin' Mama has created her very own blog award, and I made the list! I'm feeling pretty loved right about now. :)

Rules are simple: 
★Accept Award
★Pass The Award To Other Rockin' Bloggers
★Come Back To Rockin' Blogger Award & Link Your Blog!


And here are the lovely blogs, I'm passing it on to:

Mi Todo
BusinessIsCasual
Mommie Maddness
House Wife Mama

Registered & An Award!

Aggh. Okay, I caved. I finally registered my little blog at Top Mommy Blogs. I’ve been writing on this blog for almost three years now. Before that I had another blog, and currently I have a “family only” blog hosted over at wordpress. So yea, I’ve been doing this for awhile. I figured it was time to put myself out there. If you like what you see, please feel free to vote for us using the banner below (or on the sidebar). Thank you!

I love to stalk some good blogs out there. Seriously, it’s an addiction. One of these blogs is by Destiny over at Rockin’ Mama! Seriously, I’m kind of in love with her sailor mouth. This lovely lady holds nothing back, and that’s what I love about her blog. You can always tell how she’s feeling, or relate to what she’s going through just by reading her posts. And she makes no apologies. Which I love even more.

So today, imagine the lovely surprise I get, when she posts about a blog award she received and is now dishing back out. If there’s one thing I love more than stalking some of the loveliest ladies out there, it’s discovering new ones to read about. You want to know what made this surprise even better?? This crazy bitch gave ME an award!! Ha! I’m totally “fangirl-ing” right now. You don’t even know! LOL!

When I fist saw this, the first thought  that popped in my head was “lesbian crush”! Why? I have no idea. I’m weird. But it turns out it actually means - beloved, dearest, and/or favorite! So, I’m just going to go ahead and interpret this as her having a bit of a crush on me. For my own vanity. LOL! As you can tell, I’m pretty ecstatic about this! I can only hope that I rock this as hard as she does.

Now, since I'm pretty picky about the ladies I love on, I'm just going to send it on to: 

Erica over @ 

p.s. Thanks again to Destiny for

popping my award cherry. :) 

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It's Easy & Good For Me?

So, in my attempt to get things back on track in the “weight loss” department. I’ve started to replace a meal with a Rockin Wellness shake. It’s not meant to be a weight loss shake, I just do it because it makes me full. And it keeps me full for a long time. Before I was doing those slim-fast shakes but after about a month or so I noticed that they would make me feel awful. Tired, sluggish, and down right nauseated. So when my co-worker suggested I try this out, I happily took the sample I was offered. And man, am I glad that I did.

First, let me just say that I like the idea of incorporating smoothies, and shakes into a balanced diet. I’m all for the idea of getting all of these fresh vegetables and fruits, and tossing them into a blender first thing in the morning to make your very own yummy concoction. Yay for healthy eating habits! But in reality, when that alarm goes off at 5 am, I hit the off button. Then when 6 am rolls around, I hit the snooze button. Why? Because I’m freakin lazy in the morning. The mental picture of waking up all wide eyed, bushy-tailed, with a huge smile on my face getting my healthy breakfast on, is just that. A mental picture. In reality, I wait till 6:20 am before opening my eyes. Then, I finally drag my grouchy butt out of bed ten minutes later. This may or may not be the reason why I’m always rushing in the morning. Zero will power, remember?

So, when my friend said: “Hey, you should try this. It’s simple, organic, healthy, and it gives you energy without the crash.” I was all over that shizz. Now, I’m not always one to read ingredient labels because my daughter makes shopping trips insanely difficult. I usually just grab and go. Then, when my sister-in-law comes over she goes over my groceries with a fine tooth comb. I’m either praised or scolded. So I was putting my trust in the idea that my coworker had read the ingredients. I brought my package home and when Kim looked at the ingredients on the back of the bag, I was rewarded with a thumbs up. So below are the list of ingredients for your inspection.

Ingredients: Cacao, Goji, Maca, Hulled Hemp Seed, Chia, Flaxseed, Lecithin, Green Tea, Yerba Mate, Vegan Probiotics with small amounts of Brown Rice Protein, Stevia, Guar Bean, Banana, (less than 2 grams) organic sugar cane

 You can go to their actual site if you want more information.

Immediately after drinking 8 oz of this stuff with Soy Milk, I was FULL. Not that, “Oh my gosh this hurts to move” full. No, I was given this “I ate something satisfying and I don’t have to unbutton my jeans” full. That alone was worth the 30 bucks I spent. Since then, I’ve switched over to almond milk, and I’m still getting the same fullness. But the best part about this shake is that after 3 days of drinking it first thing in the morning, I’ve noticed I have more energy. I get to work and I am ready to go! What’s even better is that it lasts a good 3-4 hours, which is perfect. I feel so awake within minutes too. There's hardly any waiting. Before you couldn’t talk to me till I had my coffee or sweat tea. And even then, it would take at least an hour for my caffeine high to take effect. By that point I would already be on my second third cup. So to go from that to only 8 oz. of this delicious stuff, I feel like this is a really good trade. My first of many steps to finally lose the extra weight for good. :)

I will admit that my diet hasn’t been the greatest. I've slipped and slid. But, we’re back on a pretty tight budget so that cuts out a lot of our dinning out. It also forces me to stretch out ingredients. So, it looks like a lot of the junk will be cut out of our lives. I’m trying not to mourn the loss of chocolate chip cookies. I’m hoping that with this new budget, and want of change will be enough to get me back on track. My running and working out took a back seat last week because of all the rain we got. And my treadmill is officially broken so I couldn’t run inside. This week was a lot better though. Now if only I could really stick with it this time. Here's to motivation and CHANGE! Have a great weekend, y'all!

Book Review- My Life Next Door

Overview

“One thing my mother never knew, and would disapprove of most of all, was that I watched the Garretts. All the time.”

The Garretts are everything the Reeds are not. Loud, numerous, messy, affectionate. And every day from her balcony perch, seventeen-year-old Samantha Reed wishes she was one of them . . . until one summer evening, Jase Garrett climbs her terrace and changes everything. As the two fall fiercely in love, Jase's family makes Samantha one of their own. Then in an instant, the bottom drops out of her world and she is suddenly faced with an impossible decision. Which perfect family will save her? Or is it time she saved herself?

A dreamy summer read, full of characters who stay with you long after the story is over.

My Review

Samantha’s life seems fairly easy. Her life revolves around getting good grades, associating herself with the right people, staying busy with two jobs, and finally getting into a good college. But most importantly, it’s pleasing those around her. Her family lives right next door to the Garretts, who her mother sums up as the prime example of what not to do or who to hang out with. But, one night Jase Garrett comes up to her terrace and she finds that he isn’t bad at all. In fact, he might be the only one who she can really talk to. With her mother running for office, her sister out of town, and her best friend worried about SAT scores and her very own boyfriend troubles, Samantha find herself spending a lot of her time with Jase. As she slowly gets to know this family next door, her friendship with Jase turns into something more. But one night changes everything, and Samantha may not be strong enough to keep all of the secrets.

This book was a really good read! It was such a simple story, but told very beautifully. The characters were really relatable and I easily found myself thinking “Oh man, do I remember going through something like that!” And Jase, is such a sweetheart! Seriously, I wish every girl in the world could have a boyfriend like Jase at some point in their lives. Chivalry is not dead with this guy. And coming from a big family (cousin wise, not actual siblings), it was nice to read a book that had such a big family in it. Again, a lot of things that take place in the book I easily remember something similar happening in my real life. All in all, this book was fantastic. It was cute, funny, and romantic. Everything I enjoy in a young adult, coming-of-age, story.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Not So Wordless Wednesday

When we went to visit our family and friends this past January, Emery had a blast. There were quite a few kids that were around her age that she could play with, and she really enjoyed that. But the two that she still remembers to this day are her cousin Ashlynn and Odin, one of Kami’s little boys. She'll sometimes even pretends she’s talking on the phone with Odin or she’ll ask me when we’re going to go see him.

So this past Sunday, Kami and I had the idea of letting them see each other on Skype. Two kids Skyping was freakin adorable, people! Seriously. They’re two year old's so their conversations consisted of hi’s, waving, blowing kisses, and eating food. Then showing each other what the food looked like in their mouths. That’s my girl! LOL! But it was still really cute to watch. The fact that they remember each other was also pretty awesome.

Thank You, Skype

As you all know, I miss California. I talk about it a lot, and one day I hope we get to move back. But for now, we are here. I’m not sure what the future hold for us, but no matter what California will always be a place we choose to visit because of all the family and friends there. It will always be a part of our lives and that itself makes me pretty happy.

But the one person that I left behind, and miss every day, is my best friend Kami. We’ve known each other for eight years, and we’ve both been through a lot together. We’ve traveled together, lived on each others couches, and moved together. More than once in some cases. Words can not describe the love I have for this girl. Seriously. And I mean that in the best friend sense, not the lesbian sense. She’s the only person that doesn’t give a f**k about what people think just as much as I do. I’m pretty sure that our friendship sprouted from how compatible our “No Bullshit Tolerance Meters” were. We’re a lot a like, very different, and yet we work. God, I sound like we're in a relationship, huh? LOL! But seriously, Kami is someone who is really important to me.

She has always been my “tough love” friend as well as my voice of reason. She cares enough to tell me things straight up. No sugar coating. And I do the same for her. Because sometimes we need to hear it. And we are always very open and honest. This is probably why I don’t ever try to hide my bluntness. I have someone in my life (other than my husband, but he doesn’t count) that appreciates my frankness. We can talk about anything and everything under the sun, and not ever feel embarrassed , ashamed, or like we shouldn’t talk about it. Our friendship is pretty awesome. So, maybe you can see why I miss having her in my daily life?

But now, thanks to Skype, I get to talk to her and see her at the same time! She recently got her computer and DSL hooked up. She sent me a message letting me know she had downloaded Skype and viola! Saturday night we had ourselves our first Skype date. You guys have no idea how much I had been missing our talks. We talked for 3 hours. We were able to catch up, talk about FEELINGS, our kids, and have some very adult conversations. It was fantastic, and very much needed on both ends.

We’ve made plans to do this at least once a week if possible. She’s got her hands full with 6 kids (two of which are her step kids), and my schedule is always busy. With me taking on an extra course this fall, I can only imagine it’s about to get busier. So we’ll make time as we go. I still miss getting to actually hug her and just walking/driving over to her house when I needed to vent (or sit in silence). But thanks to Skype, I’m at least getting a part of that back. And for that, I’m always going to be grateful.

A Lesson Learned & Options

So after getting the crappy news on Thursday afternoon about the job offer I kind of felt like we had been cheated out of something good. All because of one tiny, little detail. A detail that seriously was irrelevant because this job did not require my husband to drive. Also, he would not have been driving to and from work either. It had all been arranged. So after already having a very draining day, we get hit with that, and it kind of shattered our plans. I found myself wondering "What the hell are we going to do now?" 

Things at home were pretty glooming when I got off of work. My husband blames himself, and anytime he “fails” at something he gets upset. Then I get mad because it’s something we have no control over. We passed up several opportunities due to inconvenience in the past, and now that we’re ready to really move forward we run into some bad luck. Such is life. So instead of getting all upset I let myself have a little 2 minute cry –alone, took a 30 minute nap while my mom took Emery out for a walk, and then went on with our evening. Because really, what could we do?

Now, we’re faced with looking at our options. Currently, my husband can not apply for a license until after November. We can’t afford to wait that long. So, now we have to contact the DMV and a lawyer to see what is required and/or if he qualifies to get at least a hardship license. If he’s eligible, my mother and father have talked to me about helping us out to get that taken care of. Then, they’ll try again. If he’s not, then I have a major decision to make.

At this very same company, some very reliable employees (friends) have told me about some office positions opening up soon, that are exactly what I’m currently doing but with better pay. Now, I like where I’m at now because the people are wonderful and my boss man allows me to rearrange my schedule to fit in school, which not very many employers do. They are very laid back and flexible. They understand that family is important and sometimes emergencies happen. Being here is a blessing and it’s allowed me to continue my education. But, we need money.

This other job would definitely be a pay increase. And even though they too would allow me to go to school, it would have to be on their schedule. Pretty much they say: Here are your hours, if you’re going to school find classes that work around this. That’s all fine and dandy, except I travel two hours round-trip to my school. And they don’t always offer everything I need to take in the evenings or online. Trust me, I’ve looked into it. Why don’t I just transfer earlier than planned to my local university, you ask? Well because I have to have a certain amount of hours to transfer, and it’s BEYOND expensive. I can take two classes at my current college (books included) for the price of one class at my local university (books not included). And, my FAFSA Pell Grant will not cover everything I need. So, I’m trying to get as much done before I transfer in hopes of avoiding having to take out a huge student loan.

So this means that if I do decide to apply for this job, I’ll have to take a break from school. Or, see if a machine position is available on a weekend-only shift. My current schedule for the fall has me at my college twice a week by 3 pm. This interferes with the potential office job hours. But if my husband doesn’t find something by the middle of August, I will probably have to withdrawal from the fall semester anyway because we simply can’t afford the cost of gas to get me to and from, on just my income. I could still take two online classes but I’ll still fall really behind.

Simply put, we put all of our eggs in one basket, and someone came and stomped the shit out of it. The sad part is that we should have known better. We should have double checked the requirements for the job. We should have accepted the out of town job offer to hold us over until this one came up. We should have checked into a hardship license a long time go. We should have known better. But, life doesn’t stop. And right now these are the options we have set in front of us. Hopefully, everything will work out okay. Until then, there isn’t much we can do but wait and see.

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News

I got ahead of myself.

Everything went well.

Everything was checked out, the employment test was passed.

 Then a new policy (that started this year), requires that everyone have a drivers license. 

 As you all know, my husband does not.

They can not give him the job.

Halen David Is Here & Some More News!

Wednesday morning we woke up to a text from my friend (that had been sent at 2 am) letting us know that his fiancé had been induced. It was officially baby time! I let him know that we would stop by after I was off work, and hopefully Halen would already have arrived by then. Sure enough, I received a picture message letting me know just that around noon. You guys, he was absolutely adorable! Tiny little peach fuzz for hair, and some seriously “pinch-able” cheeks. Just looking at him made me want to go get myself pregnant.

Halen David McKamey 

 6 lbs. 13 oz. 

19” long 

He looks so much like his daddy! And thankfully, once we were at the hospital that afternoon I was able to get my baby fix. He’s even more precious in person. Such tiny little hands and feet. Look at that face!! Omg, my ovaries.

I am so excited for them! Brett is going to be an awesome dad too. Just sitting there with him in that room, and I could already see such a change in him. So attentive, and so in love. I've known him for years, and even just a few weeks ago, he was telling me "how it was going to be". All that went right out the window. LOL! That little guy has his daddy so wrapped.

When I was holding Halen I had such a rush of nostalgia. And I was a little bit sad for myself because I barely remember Emery being that small. You never forget, and you can always recall those memories. But, I no longer see her as that tiny little baby. She's a full fledged TODDLER. And holding Halen brought back all of those memories. I ending up telling my husband “We are so having another one. I want another one!” Everything felt all magical, and the idea of a new baby was just so awesome! I was sitting there with Halen and I totally pictured myself with another baby. Maybe not right then but even if I got pregnant while still in school I felt like we could handle it. Yeeaaa, then Emery started getting jealous, whining, running around, and trying to crawl up onto my lap like a wild child while I was holding him. Totally nipped that train of the thought real quick! I crashed back to reality and seriously debated getting my head checked for thinking such crazy thoughts. LOL! But seriously, I miss those “infant” months. I miss the tiny little socks, onesies, and baby breath. I miss those tiny stretches Emery used to do, and her tiny little yawns. She slept so much too. It was so peaceful! *sigh* Once we left the hospital my "baby fever” had curbed. Now if only Nate or Dane would get their wives pregnant, I’ll be set for the next few years. LOL! At least until (and if) we're ready to have another one.

And now on to some more good news. Right before we left for the hospital, my husband got the call from FMC about a job interview! It’s not exactly the position we were hoping for, and the hours will take some getting used to, but my dad said he won’t be in that area permanently. After 2-3 months he can bid out to work in a different area and even a different shift. My dad said he’d even try to get him into his area  and shift as soon as he was able to. But beggars can't be choosers and we really thankful for this opportunity. Now, I don’t want to get ahead of ourselves. These are all still “ifs” because he hasn’t actually been hired. His interview is today at 3:30 pm. We’ve been a little worried because we know other guys are being interviewed as well. So we're just praying everything goes well and in my husband's favor.

If you get a chance wish us some luck, send some good vibes, or say a little prayer. Our little family really needs to have two incomes coming in right now. Especially with school right around the corner. We’d really appreciate it.

Wordless Wednesday

Mentally Getting There

As you guys all know I’m constantly trying to loose weight. I work out, eat healthy, and then fall of the bandwagon in a bad way. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. I hit a slump, or something happens and I’m out for the count for a few days weeks. It’s such a sad thing, and I blame it on my lack of self control. A lot of times, I feel like everything has to be in order. I’m not full on OCD, but there are certain things that I need to have in or done a certain way. Call it some pretty badass organization skills if you’d like, but there are things in my life that I absolutely have to have in a certain order, a certain color, a certain amount. Unfortunately, when it comes to laundry, food, and working out these rules do not apply. Again, lack of self control. Sometimes I think that out of everything that I have to have a certain way, those are the only things I allow myself to fail in.  Why is laundry on the list? I have no idea. But it is, and I can tell you right now that I'm awful when it comes to it. But that's a story for another time. 

Anyway, mentally I know it’s all an excuse. If I really set my mind to it, I can achieve it. I can loose weight. I can make better food choices. I can put good things into my body. I can make that lifestyle choice. I've done it before. But for some reason, I don’t push hard enough. I don’t make myself. I look at myself first thing in the morning and I tell myself that I’ll do good. I’ll eat right. I’ll come home and exercise. I’ll get what I want, and I’ll be damn proud. But by the time lunch rolls around, I usually cave. Or I get home and I feel too tired. I don’t push myself. I’ve repeated so many things throughout the day, and I’ve just exhausted myself mentally with all these “ticks”. I end up allowing the time I have at home to turn into excuses. I tell myself, “You deserve the day off” or “You’ll make it up tomorrow.” And it sucks that I allow those things to be my “short comings”. I wish that I could trade my “even number” tick for a “have to run every day” tick. Seriously my life would be so much better. But I can’t and so it’s all up to me. Mentally. To get my ass into gear.

I know that this already sounds like an excuse. And you know what? It probably is. But it’s how I feel. It’s what I do. And now, in hopes of getting my ass back in gear for hopefully the last time, I want to change things up. I’m trying my best to force myself into staying active. Force myself to not indulge. Make myself push harder. Treat this like I would anything else in my life: with discipline. I need to tell myself that this is something I have to do. I know that the results I want are completely possible. I just need to make myself get there. Even if that means working out late at night. I’ve tried doing early morning, but that’s not happening -- 4 am wake-up calls are just insane. I need to push all of the negative out of my mind and really focus. I know it won’t be easy. Especially with school right around the corner. But it’s not impossible. And I realize that I need to stop allowing excuses. They’re getting me no where. Until then, I’ll stay the same. I won’t change how I eat. I won’t work out consistently. I won’t loose the weight. And I won’t be happy.

Click picture for source.

This is not me, obv. But, this girl started out at my weight and is now at 145 lbs and dropping. 

Truly an inspiration. And motivation.

A Trip to Luling

On Saturday afternoon we made the drive down to Luling, TX. It’s a small town right outside of San Marcos, and we have some family members that live in the area. The reason for our trip was to take my grandmother to see some of her kids that came down from Georgia. We took the long way down, unknowingly, and I was volunteered to drive so that was not very fun. I had hoped to get in some reading time, but my father insisted that I should drive since they had done it for years.

That’s one thing I can say that was awful. The heat and humidity. But getting to see all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins was well worth it. And the Bar-B-Q was off the chain! Seriously, if you ever visit, you have to try it. It's delicious. So after we all ate dinner we sat around in the living room and just talked. Everyone was catching up with each other and making jokes. Embarrassing moments were brought out, and we reminisced. It definitely reminded me of why I love having such a big family. We’re all so loud and happy together.

Emery did great on the drive down, but that’s where her good manners ended for the most part. Since my husband stayed behind, it’s way too hot for him and we have too many pets, I was left to wrangle our child all by myself. This was not very pleasant. After spending the weekend, with it just being me and her, I’ve realized that she does not fear me. Even when I dish out spankings. At one point I told her that she would get a spanking if she didn’t settle down, and her reply was

“No! You not daddy!”

Clearly, only her father can discipline her. So, we stayed at my uncle’s house for the most part. I was a little worried that she’d throw a fit if we went anywhere, and I was not about to set myself up for one if I could help it. Thankfully, she had plenty of people to keep her busy and entertained for the most part. We did get in an hour or so at the local park on Sunday morning. Everyone else had gone to church, and by the time she realized everyone was leaving she started asking to go “Bye bye”. So off we went, in the 90+ degree weather to play.

Later that afternoon we made the drive back up, but thanks to my iPhone we made it back in less than 3 hours. And I would have had better timing too had we not run into a storm in Austin. Now even though we had a nice time, I was really excited to get home. Emery kept asking for Daddy, and I missed our bed. The night before I had to sleep on the floor and that was brutal on my back. So once we got home I pretty much threw myself onto the bed and didn't get back up. It was wonderful! Now, it’s back to the old grind. Hope everyone else had a wonderful weekend!

p.s. Pictures of our weekend were limited.

I'll do a photo-dump soon. 

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Sex Talk

Now that I got your attention. I’m just going to flat out ask:

Any other ladies out there having any kind of  issue with climaxing, 

after having a baby??

Now, I don’t want this to come out like bragging or anything, but before Emery there was A LOT of sex being had. I’m talkin more than once a day and several days out of the week. Yea....it was a lot. Seriously we were like bunnies. Annnnnnnnnnnnnd then I got pregnant.

During my pregnancy sex wasn’t something I could physically manage at first. I was puking EVERYWHERE. Any little thing set me off. And any sudden, bouncy, rocking-like movements had chunks flyin’. So, even when we attempted to get down and dirty, I was a flight risk for throwing up. I may or may not have had to call “time-out” a few times to make a break for the bathroom on more than one occasion. It didn't bother us too much at first, because I was always sick. Then thankfully, towards the end, the excuse of having a human growing inside of me usually sufficed when I wanted a pass on sex. If you’ve ever been pregnant before, you know that sometimes you just don’t want to be near the object which landed you in your current impregnated state. Alas, going from bunnies to “if your lucky, once a week” for my hubby was kind of devastating.

Then, I finally had Emery and eight weeks later we got the go head to pounce on each other to our hearts content. Unfortunately, something wasn’t quite right. For me anyways. I was taking FOREVER. Every. Single. Time. I’m talking forty five minutes to an hour. I talked to my doctor and I was told this was normal for some women; just give it time. Well, it’s been 2 years now and I’m still taking forever. What’s wrong with forever you ask? We have a two year old, that’s what wrong! Sometime we don’t have the luxury of getting to take our time. "Wham! Bam! Thank you Ma’am" is usually the time frame we get to work with. And now that Emery’s in her toddler bed (instead of a crib), our room is no longer a sacred "adult place". She can now randomly make her way to our room and onto our bed whenever she pleases all hours of the night. Trust me, it’s happened. Thank GOD for darkness.

So, after this little mishap, I asked my good ole doc her opinion as to what was going on. Can I be fixed? Is there a way to get my youthful stamina back? My previous ability to have a quickie, would be greatly appreciated. And this is what I got:

“Sometimes after a woman gives birth she may lose sensitivity and it takes a much longer time to produce an orgasm. This is usually caused by the vagina not being as tight as it was before due to giving birth. Other times, it’s the completely opposite and women are able to have multiple orgasms every time. And then there are those that do not experience a change. But from what you’re telling me, it seems like your body has lost some sensitivity.”

Great! Just freakin great. This is not what I wanted to hear. I miss my bunny years people! And my husband, on more than one occasion, has voiced his concerns and nostalgia for those years as well. So, I asked if there was a way to fix me. Unfortunately there’s no crème or pill I can pop because there, in fact, is nothing wrong with me. My vagina just isn't cooperating with me. So, it all comes down to kegels. As if I didn't have enough of those during pregnancy. The doctor said so long as I do the “exercises” I should be able to return to my previous “bunny years”. So now I’d just like to know if anyone else has experienced this? Cus I’m feelin’ kind of lonely and awkward here.

Oh, Boy. What Did I Just Do?

So, I was doing my morning “trollin” of other blogs on Tuesday, when I came across this post by Michelle over at Mish Lovin’ Life. Now first, I’d just like to say that if you haven’t read her blog, do yourself a favor and go read it. She. Is. Hilarious. I swear you’ll thank me later for pointing you in her direction.

But now, back to the “Oh, Boy” part of my post. After reading that post on Tuesday, I foolishly accepted her 30 Day of No Alcohol challenge. This lady has some serious Jedi mind tricks up her sleeve because before I knew it, I was accepting. At first, I was like:

“Hell yea! I’m owning this challenge! I’m gunna make it my b**ch!”

Then I got home, and my kid was screaming and throwing things. She was crying and being so picky about who changed her diapers. Kicking me if she wanted her daddy to do it and vice versa. And there was so much whining. By the end of the night, I just wanted a glass of wine (or an ice cold Bud Light). As I was opening the fridge I remembered I wasn’t allowed. So, I closed the fridge and pouted away.

But do you really want to know what makes me question my sanity on this one? Another friend of ours is getting married on the 27th, and she’s Dutch. They know how to party, y'all! Not being racist either, because they really do. Anyway, a few weeks ago her brother told my husband and I about the alcohol list involved and the amount of kegs that would be present. We had a DD lined up, and I was so looking forward to getting a bit tipsy with friends. But now it looks like my hubs is the only one that will get to enjoy the free booze. Damn those Jedi mind tricks! Thankfully, since the last time I had alcohol of any kind was on Saturday, I’m technically on day 5! No biggie. Only 25 more days to go.

Loved

Have you ever just sat back and thought about how many people your child interacts with on a daily basis? From adults to other children? Until recently, I never really took the time to appreciate how much help and kindness she (and we) receive. But now that I fully recognize and acknowledge it, I can’t help but count my blessing. Emery will never go without anything. And this makes my heart really happy.

Among these amazing people are my parents and our babysitter. When we needed a roof over our heads, my parents gladly gave up their bed for us. And then they helped us make the guest house livable. Right after I had Emery, my husband wasn’t working, and they helped us by buying extra food, diapers, wipes, bottles, clothes, and formula when the time came. Even now, they are constantly taking Emery out for a night or helping us with diapers, clothes, and food. Our daughter has an expanding collection of clothes, and shoes that surpasses even my own. And their generosity is not just with her. In fact, sometimes I have to tell them that they don’t need to buy us anything because they'll come home with bags of stuff for all of us.

Next is our babysitter. She and her family have become a part of our family. Currently, she only watches Emery three days out of the week, but I still pay her for a whole week. You have no idea how much I had to struggle with her to take my money either. Most of the time I had to be sneaky about this. Slipping an extra $20 in her purse, or gathering Emery’s things, and laying the envelope at the table before bolting. One time I wasn’t fast enough and she chased me down. She always tells me:

“We love her like our own. 

 We love having her here, because she lights up our lives.

 Don’t need any extra money.”

And I’m thinking “Wow, seriously?” I love my daughter but there’s no hiding that she’s a handful. I would even go as far as to say spoiled. She has a bit of a temper, a knack for tantrums, and she’s very demanding. But our babysitter says that she’s not like that with them. This is probably because they give her, her hearts desire. But they all reassure me that they are happy to have her. Even her husband greets her every morning gushing about “his princess”. And Emery loves the attention. Recently they went on vacation, and before they left they took her out to lunch in town. Then they cut their trip short and called me the night they arrived back in town to make sure I would be dropping her off with them the next morning. That right there, is mind blowing.

Then we have the random people we see while out shopping or running errands. There isn’t a single time where someone doesn’t come up to us and let us know how beautiful or “full of light” our daughter is. She gives out hugs, and for the most part she does behave. She says “please” and “thank you”. Some people say that they’ve never seen such manners on someone so young. And I don’t know how many times she’s turned some macho men into peek-a-boo playing softies. Seriously. I may be a bit biased but my kid (when not screaming her lungs out) is kind of awesome.

I appreciate all of this. I appreciate everyone that shows her love, and kindness. I appreciate everyone that has helped us out, given us a chance, and accepted us. Without any of them, I have no idea what we would have done or how things would have played out. But, I’m so thrilled to have so many people in our lives that truly love us. I’m so happy that Emery gets to grow up around all of this because I know that there are children out there that don't, and that's such a sad thing.

Patiently Waiting

Over the weekend, my dad informed us that a position has opened up for my husband. His supervisor and my brother’s supervisor both told my dad that they had an opening with my husband in mind so we should be expecting a call within the next two weeks. They still have to go through “all of the motions”, a formality, but my dad told us it’s a sure thing.

I. AM. SO. EXCITED! Our savings has dwindled quite a bit, and I’ve been having to work through all of my lunches just to give us the extra cash we need. These past few months, we’ve had a lot of commitments that we couldn’t turn down or reschedule. So, our budget was stretched pretty tight. Thanks to my parents not charging us for rent or utilities until my husband once again has a job, we’ve been able to manage.

But guys, when I say that I’m tired. I mean it. By the time Friday afternoon hits, I’d be totally capable of sleeping through the entire weekend. But I can’t. And then Monday rolls around and I have to added up our bills for the week. Then, I mentally calculate how many hours I need to work in order for us to get by. I was even ready to get rid of my iPhone for a regular talk & text phone. In fact, I’m still debating it. It’s just so hard to let go of all of those handy little apps. *sigh* So spoiled.

So now it’s just a waiting game. I doubt we will hear anything until next week, but man I can’t wait. We need this. I’m a little tired of pinching pennies. And I’m more than ready for us to start saving in order to move out. Seriously. As much as I love having my parents so close, I’m just ready to have our own, fully functioning, place. I’m ready to have some breathing room in our lives as well as in our pockets. So wish us luck or say a little prayer in our direction. Fingers crossed that we hear something sooner rather than later.

Listen

I'm in love with Spotify. Seriously, it's like Grooveshark, Zune, Pandora, and a bit of iTunes all rolled into one. So from now on, I'll be using their embedded player for my tunes. Enjoy.

p.s. If you have a Spotify account, 

you should add me. :)

Wordless Wednesday

A Wedding & A Few Other Things

This past weekend we were able to attend my friend Dane’s wedding. It was beautiful! Very small and intimate. Made me wish our wedding had been like that: less stress and more carefree. Since we had to drive all the way back home we ended up leaving as soon as the bride and groom were sent off for their honeymoon.

Sunday we woke up to Emery being sick. She had a fever and runny nose. It made for a very crabby toddler. Still, we were able to bring her fever down long enough to run errands in town. And then we hit up Cici’s pizza at the munchkin’s request. Afterwards I scored two hardback books for $7 a piece. Which at our local Hastings, believe me, is a DEAL. Pretty excited to get them started. Once we were home, I was able to run 2 miles on the treadmill. I’m thinking this is going to be my new favorite way of running. I hate being inside, but I love that I can keep a consistent pace. Which for me, is a huge help when trying to improve time and distance. Here’s hoping that by the end of next week I’ll be able to run 3 miles.