Listen

Weight Loss - Weigh In - June 2019

I normally give a little bit of a rundown on how the month is going before I get into this post, but honestly, we haven’t done much. Things have been relatively quiet around here. I did have a little bit of a disagreement with my daughter’s father over a particular incident, but that’s a post for another time. We also had a little issue with our neighbor’s dog. The little shit bit Emery twice. Thankfully, nothing really bad happened because she’s a small dog and Emery’s an older kid. Still, it did break skin and I ended up filing a police report. So yea, another month, y’all! And now, another weigh-in. Here we go! 

Starting Weight (SW): 189 lbs
Current Weight (CW): 172.4 lbs
Goal Weight (GW): 160 lbs

Just FYI, this is me completely naked - right after waking up - and it's how I do the majority of my weigh-ins.

On the diet front, things have been good. Like I stated in the last post I’ve been doing my own modified version of a low carb diet. I try to keep my carb intake at 100g or less per day. This is still going strong during the week but I’m definitely more lax on the weekends. My water intake is currently sitting pretty at 96oz per day which is just right for me. I’m even getting to a point where I’m not wanting sweet tea as much anymore. I also had a visit with my doctor this month and based on my esophagus issues as well as my thyroid problems he recommended that I try cutting out gluten products. But this bissh loves her pizza and spaghetti so...yea. I may give it a try here in July, but I just don’t know. He said that cutting out bread would help with all of my health issues and ensure that the weight I’m losing stays off. But y’all…..how do I go without pizza…?? Anyway, I’m really pleased with my eating habits at the moment. I’m trying out a new Keto coffee too since I stopped buying the ItWorks kind. I couldn’t taste a major difference but I’ll keep you posted. Now, it feels like it took forever and a day to find a nice balance between the foods I want to eat and the foods I should be eating. But I’m finally getting there, and that’s been a pretty major accomplishment for me.  

Moving right along over to the fitness department. I’m finally getting back to being active. Summer is always a great time for me in this area. I like being able to run outside and breathe in some fresh air. Being able to feel the sun’s heat on my face. So, I’ve started hitting the track at least three times a week. Then I go lift weights at the gym for the other two days. Of course, there are times when I don’t feel like going in 100% but I still make sure to fit in some form of activity. If that means just walking laps around the track, or walking up and down the bleachers for about an hour then that’s what I do. If the only time I get is when we’re out walking the dogs, then I make sure to be out walking for at least thirty minutes. If you struggle with motivation like I do, just know that you don't have to go balls to the wall, when working out. Even something as simple as walking for 20 minutes per day can go a long way. And this is because any kind of movement is better than nothing at all. 

Mentally, I’m feeling pretty good. My anxiety has been kept pretty much at bay lately. During my doctor’s appointment, we also talked about when I’d start scaling back on my medications. At the moment, the game plan is to keep me on them for another two to three months. Then we’ll start the process of weaning me off, and hopefully, I’ll do well on my own. So, in that area, I feel like I’m right on track. This week has been a bit of a strange one for me though. Between my supplements, creams, increase in medication mg’s, and a few nights of very little sleep I’m feeling a little off balance. It’s hard to put into words but it’s almost a little disorienting; out of body. Also, my hormones have been raging, think peak teenage sex drive status, and I’ll be completely honest - it can be very VERY distracting. So, I’m making another round of adjustments to see if switching things up helps tamper this...eh..side effect? And I’m also trying to get back to a 9:30 (ish) bedtime because this lady definitely needs at least six hours of it to function. 

Overall, I’m feeling pretty great! I’m focusing more on just being healthy rather than being “skinny”. I only weigh myself at the end of each month in order to not focus on the numbers. We did do a mid-month weigh-in for our office competition, but other than that I don’t worry about it. This has also been a really great way for me to learn more about my body. From my menstrual cycle to the foods that cause me to bloat and how much sleep I need in order to feel my best. I’m learning more about when my body needs rest, what causes my headaches, and when I can push a workout a bit further. When I start to feel the edges of my anxiety start to flare out I know that I need a good sweat session in order to put that fucker back in its place. When I start to overthink things or feel overwhelmed I know that I need to go for a run or hit the bleachers. Maybe even both. I’ve found this to be a great way for my mind to work through whatever is troubling me. Now, I only have one goal for July and that’s to increase my weekly running mileage. I currently do about three miles of strictly running each week and I want to bump that up to four. So, that’s about all for this month’s progress post. All catch y’all again at the end of July. 🌞

Wordless Wednesday

Ruin Your Life

Recently, someone told me that women like me, who are divorced and have children, weren't considered "good enough" when it came to looking for a partner. We weren't considered to be a "good fit" for those that hadn't already been through the same thing we had. In other words, other divorced individuals. I was also informed that it was seen as a failure on our part to not have been able to keep a marriage; a husband. And I was also told that some people out in the world think that we couldn't possibly have anything else to offer but problems. That we were considered to be drama and trouble. Subsequently, it would only be a matter of time before we'd ruin our "new" partners' life. And because of this, it would always be recommended that I be kept at a distance. 

“A woman like you would ruin my life. Nothing good would come of it; just drama and trouble.”

Now, at first, I sat there a little stunned. "Wait...what??" I mean, I totally get that dating someone who is divorced with children isn't for everyone. Yea, we come with a little extra baggage and possibly in need of a little extra care. But where the hell in this "Who to Avoid When Dating" handbook, that I've never seen before in my life, did it say that we weren't "good enough" because we had gone through a divorce? Can someone tell me who made up this rule and can I please see some facts to back up these claims? After the conversation was over I kind of just laughed it off. "Haha! Yup, we're totally crazy and undateable." I went back to my snacks and unpaused the Netflix show I had been watching. It wasn't until two days later that I realized I had actually felt hurt by what was said. I had already thought some pretty negative things about myself after my divorce, like being damaged goods and unloveable. Destined to die alone with my dogs. And here were all of those negative things being said out loud. To my face. Clearly, I had been correct in my negative outlook if others were thinking the same damn things, right?

That afternoon as I started on my workout I actually got really pissed off. Perks of being an overthinker. I was running laps and doing bleachers in order to process everything that was currently bouncing around in my head. During each break, I'd feel myself growing even more irritated. "How dare someone think they're above me just because I got a divorce!" *running up the bleachers* "They don't even KNOW me. They don't know what I went through." *running down the bleachers* "They don't know how hard I tried! Or what kind of person I am." *jogging back to the starting line* "I'm a good fucking person. I'm still salvageable." *repeat* By the end of the workout I was very exhausted. Both physically and mentally. I knew that those opinions were coming from the mouths of very close-minded people. I knew that the person repeating them wasn't meaning to be hurtful. But it still caused me to questions myself. It still caused me to slightly slip back into focusing on my flaws. On the negative that I tend to let overpower me. And it took about ten rounds of bleachers and one hell of a conversation with my sister-in-law to finally snap out of it. I started thinking more and more about why this person was so wrong about me. Sure, maybe I hadn't made all of the right decisions in life. Maybe I did get married too young? But I walked away AFTER I had tried everything. If someone out there looks at my daughter and only sees her as "baggage", well then, they're definitely not the kind of people I need in my life. They're also missing out on getting to know one hell of a kid! And if I were actively looking to date someone then I think I still have quite a bit to offer. 

You see, I'd like to think that I'm a fairly decent person. That I'm a pretty good mom. "Bestest Ever," according to my daughter. I love to read, watch movies, dance, and have long conversations. I'm always down to go hiking, camping, or road tripping. Bring on the adventures! I enjoy going out or spending time with my family and friends. I like to climb up onto my daughter's trampoline in order to stargaze at night. I also like to sit on my porch, coffee in hand, as a storm rolls through. I like being able to dress up from time to time, but I love to dress down even more. I have a pretty big heart when it comes to the people and things in my life that I care about. I'm a very loyal person and truly dedicated. I've been told that I tend to nudge people out of their comfort zones, but in a good way. Bringing them out of their shells. I've heard that my personality tends to be on the bouncier side but you have to get past the "RBF" in order to see it. I definitely have these flares of drama in my reactions but that's the extent of the drama that I want in my life. This is why I'm adamant about having an amicable and healthy relationship with my daughter's father. I'm also a fairly independent person and a hard worker. Pretty low maintenance with the exception of my monthly nail salon visit. Which I budget for and pay on my own. And I'm not looking for someone to financially take care of me because I do just fine on my own. 

So, when it comes to a partner, I would want someone who added to my life. To my daughter's. A partner who wanted to be with me because I added to theirs. And if someone out there thinks that all of this translates over to me being the kind of woman who would ruin a life because of my past, then so be it. You're wrong though. I understand that I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea and that's okay. But I'm done allowing other's assumptions of who I am hurt me. I know that I'm worthy of a lot of good. Some kindness, love, and a second chance. And if someone out there can't see that, well with all due respect, FUCK 'EM. 

Listen

Currently - June

June has been good to me, y’all. It’s been good to all of us here, actually. We’ve spent time lounging and catching up on shows. Emery’s been able to spend time with her friends, and this week she started VBS. We’ve got her swimming lessons scheduled for the first two weeks of July. I’ve started looking into doing some remote side jobs to help bring in some extra income. Right now, I’m doing okay, but it’s still not enough for me to start putting into savings. I’m barely squeaking by, and that’s just not acceptable to me so I have to hustle. I’m also trying to work on my writing a bit more. If you were here last week and caught the last post I did before it was taken down just know that it’s being revised. It will be back up after I'm done editing. I had a nice little chat with my brother on Saturday where he took it upon himself to let me know, in great detail, just how much it sucked. So, I drafted it in order to go back and make some revisions. Otherwise, I’d never hear the fucking end of it. Ain’t that right, little brother? Anyway, more on that later. For now, let’s just jump right into the “currently” post for the month. 

Playing:  I’m not gonna lie, lately, there’s been a lot of Spanish music being heavily rotated in my house. Along with several podcasts. However, I recently discovered Dennis Lloyd. And whoa, baby. I want to go see this man perform live just as much as I want to see Dermot Kennedy. I’ve seen clips of his shows and it seems like one hell of an experience. I missed him this past weekend in Dallas, and I was definitely bummed out. HE. WAS. SO. CLOSE. Now, if you want to know a little more about him then check out this video. His first EP is called Exident, and it consists of five tracks that he wrote after a really horrible break up. And not to sound like a broken record but DAMN did it resonate with me. My absolute favorite track off of it is, “GFY”. Either give it a listen, or go read the lyrics and you’ll quickly understand why. So yea, I definitely recommend you check him out. Fall in love with him just as much as I did. 

Reading: I finally finished, “Manaos”, y’all. FREAKIN’ FINALLY. And you know what? About ¾ of the way through I found out that they did, in fact, have an English version. Though it’s very rare and hard to find. Still, had I known that BEFORE I had almost finished the book I may have attempted to hunt it down. Now, there won’t be a formal review on this book because it wasn’t that long and some of the stuff was still pretty hard to translate over into English. However, I will say that this book was pretty brutal. The story is about slaves on a rubber plantation, their rebellion, and trying to survive the Amazon. It takes place in the 1890s and there’s a lot of violence, sexual assault, prostitution, and bloodshed. Without giving anything away I will say that I was left very frustrated by the ending. When I returned the book to my friend I said, “Why would you make me read this if you knew it had THAT kind of an ending??” And all I got was a smug smile followed by, “That’s life sometimes.” I instantly wanted to smack him upside the head with the book for putting me through all of that. So yes, if you can read in Spanish, I highly recommend that you give this book a read. If you can find an English translation of it, snag it. It definitely doesn't sugar coat or romanticize life during that time period in Brazil. 

Watching: Not much really. I’ve been spending more time outside lately. I did find out that “Racer and the Jailbird” is now streaming over on Hulu and when I get some time this upcoming weekend I will definitely be watching it. It has Matthias Schoenaerts and Adèle Exarchopoulos which are two of my favorite foreign film actors. Though I know they’ve both been in US films I originally discovered them in foreign ones. Anyway, that’s probably the only movie I’m looking forward to watching in the near future. I've kind of thought about buying "Five Feet Apart" because hello, Cole Sprouse. However, I'm not sure if I'm emotionally prepared for this movie. So, that's still on the "maybe" table. Other than that, there haven't been very many films being produced that I've felt I just NEEDED to see. So, I'll stick to working out and tending to my flowers in the evenings like usual. 

And that concludes the currently for this month. If you have any other suggestions be sure to drop me a line either on here or any of my other social media pages. Links are all at the top. I'm always on the lookout for new artists, films, or books so I'm totally open to recommendations. Until the next post, Happy Friday folks!

Wordless Wednesday

Listen

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day, Daddy! 

Thank you for always supporting me. 

Even when I had some of the worst plans. 

Thank you for being a wonderful grandpa to Emery & Ivan. 

Thank you for being a badass and one hell of a dad.

I'm honored to be called your daughter. 

💙  

I know I'm early on this whole "Father's Day" post, but I plan to spend the weekend with my family. Have a great weekend everyone! 

Wordless Wednesday

Random Thoughts // Six-Eleven-Nineteen

Today, I don’t want to think about one specific thing for too long. I don’t want to think of much at all really. Not today. And to be quite frank, I don’t want to write too much about one particular thing either. So, today I’m just going to write down some random thoughts as they come. See where it takes me…

I know my previous post was on the heavy side, but I promise things are good. I feel like I just needed to purge all of that out of me or it was just going to weigh me down. There are some days when I still get sad, but for the most part, I’m doing really well. I started working on my flower beds back in April and they are still going strong. Well, most of them anyway. I feel like having these flowers and succulents to look care for has helped me to focus my energy on something else rather than on constantly overthinking the “what ifs” of life. 

I feel like I’m finally starting to shift into a better headspace. And y’all, I feel like I owe a lot of this progress to therapy. I love love, love, love therapy. Some people in my life don’t quite understand why it brings me so much joy. Lookin’ at you Kim. But it really does! I’ve been going for almost two months now, and every time I walk out of a session I feel refreshed. Everyone should see a therapist at least once in their lives. It’s like having someone help you when things in your brain are a bit cloudy. Someone who helps you focus on what you need or helps you get through a hard time. It can get hard, messy, and emotional. You laugh, you cry, and you learn. But then they help you work through it. All of it. 

Emery’s been doing well too. We’ve taken the month of June as a “rest” month. There are no camps for her to attend anytime soon. Which is what she requested. There’s just been a lot of sleeping in, reading books, catching up on her favorite shows, and hitting the pool. Occasionally, she’ll do a worksheet or two in order to keep things fresh on her mind. And I recently bought her two Spanish workbooks as I’m trying to get her to start speaking it again. But I think she was just starting to get a bit burnt out on everything dealing with school. So, we’ve put off camps for next month. Until then, it’s just lounging and resting. 

Lately, I’ve also been itching for some change in my home. I think next month I’ll be repainting some of the rooms and rearranging them. Give things a bit of color maybe? But before I start that project I’m waiting to hear back from the bank on whether I qualify for a home loan or not. You see, I recently went to look at a house that had just been placed on the market. Originally, I wasn’t even that interested in it, to be honest. All I saw was a huge renovation cost, and very little parking space. However, my mother insisted that we at least do a walk through. And y’all, I ended up falling in love with it. It was pretty much MY dream home. I spoke with my bank and I’ll find out today whether I qualify or not. Send some good vibes my way, yea?  

And this seems like a good stopping point for now. I’m so tired that I wish I could just lay down, and take a nap. However, there are a lot of things that have to get done this morning since we won’t be back home until late. Hope this didn’t give you too much whiplash. Anyway, until the next post. ✌

Listen

Boundaries, Closure, and Chapters

I’ll be the first to admit that I completely suck at establishing and maintaining boundaries. If you’ve read anything having to do with my marriage and it’s ending then you’ll know this too. I would draw this line in the sand, and as soon as Beau would cross it I would just take a few steps back and redraw it. I gave ultimatums without really having the intention of following through. Even after we were divorced I let so many things slide. “All for the sake of making things work,” I’d tell myself. Then when I finally had the balls to ask him to leave, within a day, I wondered if I had been too harsh? Was there some other way for us to fix things that I hadn’t yet thought of? Maybe he had been telling the truth this time? And slowly, I’d find myself back at square one. Back to redrawing lines and letting my boundaries fade away.

When his car broke down, I let him use mine. When he needed gas I would put some in his tank. When his probation officer threatened to revoke his probation due to unpaid court/check-in fees, there I went to pay them off. When he needed to get his license reinstated and take the drivers test, I was there to let him use my car. When he needed to put his portion of the deposit down for a house that he and his “not girlfriend but totally his girlfriend” would be living in, can you guess who helped him? When the car he was using needed repairs, I got them taken care of. When he was short on first month’s rent, he came to me. And every time I went grocery shopping I would grab a few of his favorite snacks and drinks which he’d pick up after dropping Emery off. If there was a problem or something wasn’t going right he would call or text. “What do you think? What do I do?”, he’d ask. “I just need to talk to you,” he’d say.

Some of you are probably sitting there thinking, “WTF, RAQUEL?!?!” And I get it. In my measly defense, when all of this was going on I was also being given a completely different story. I guess I was partially being hopeful; partially in denial. When I told him I wasn’t buying the whole “not my girlfriend” relationship he had going on he grew upset. “Stop saying that!” he’d say in a raised voice. “She’s NOT my girlfriend,” he’d insist. He’d send me lengthy messages about how much he missed us. How he had messed up and needed to figure out what to do to make things right. He’d send me these songs and talk about how they reminded him of us. The good history. We did family dinners, and he would come over to spend time with Emery almost every afternoon. He’d take out the trash on Wednesday’s so I wouldn’t have to. He would let me know ahead of time if he would need to switch his days. He started attending Emery’s after school activities, and school programs. He’d check on the dogs when we had storms roll through and I was at work. He even mowed the yard, y’all! And you know, for the most part, we were communicating really well. So, it felt nice. Sometimes I’d catch myself thinking, “Why the hell wasn’t he like this before? It’s all I had ever asked of him.” And naturally, I felt a lot of confusion. I felt like I was stuck between holding on and permanently letting go. Prying my fingers off slowly; one at a time. But you can only stay stuck in place for so long. Eventually, everything around you starts moving forward whether you want it to or not. And then your eyes begin to focus. 

Just like with everything else that’s new, the shimmer fades, and you start to see things for what they really are. This wasn’t some miracle of having my family put back together. I get that some change is being attempted on his end, and I’m grateful for that. Super fucking grateful. But you can’t have one foot in and the other out. You can’t live out both lives until you’ve “figured things out”. That’s not fair to anyone involved in the situation. So, on the day before he left out of state, I decided that I needed to be clear about the boundaries I felt that I needed in my life. Not for him. Not for my daughter. FOR ME. And I laid it all out: Don’t come over without calling first. He and his girlfriend needed to do their laundry elsewhere. No one was allowed at my house during drop off/pick up unless I had okayed it. Otherwise, we could start doing exchanges in front of the police department. I don’t want to be contacted for any more favors. He and his girlfriend needed to start figuring out the solutions to problems on their own. Making sure everything was okay for him was no longer my responsibility. Unless it's  1) an emergency or 2) has to do with Emery then I don’t want to hear about it. I don't want any more songs or late night paragraphs claiming that he “missed” me being sent to my phone. And once he was back from working out of state I wanted us to stick with the visitation schedule as best as we could. It was officially time for him to start figuring things out for himself. 

After I was done stating my needs I asked that he respect my wishes, and so far he has. The majority of things have been going rather smoothly. I can tell that I’m finally dusting myself off and moving forward with my own life. And now the sting in my heart is starting to lessen with each passing day. It's becoming easier to breathe around him when he has to come over on his days. Easier to be in his presence and not feel like I'm still grieving this huge loss. Of course, there have been a few tough moments here and there. There have been days of weakness where I wanted to have myself a good cry. Days when the memories hit so hard that I lose my breath. Times when I doubt myself. Doubt my own worth. But then, there are the moments when I get so angry at him that I want to scream, “Fuck you for hurting me. Fuck you for lying. Fuck you for being so awful to me. Fuck you for not wanting me. Fuck you for making me lose myself. Fuck you for always wanting what was on the other side and not tending to us. Fuck you for making me feel invisible and unlovable. And fuck you for not seeing ME as ENOUGH.” But I bite my tongue. I push the words back down my throat because it doesn't even matter anymore. There were several times when I could have been petty as hell about certain things. I could have made things extremely difficult for him. I could have shown his girlfriend the texts I was getting. Could have caused a scene. I could have plastered all of the dirt for his entire family to see the truth rather than allow for everything to be blamed on me. But I could never bring myself to do it. Even after everything, I could never, ever, hurt him like that. And I hope that one day he truly sees that for what it is. Sees that my love was still right there to the very end. No hate in my heart. 

One afternoon, when I was scolding myself for not willingly using the ammunition I had to my advantage, a good friend of mine asked, "Okay. But what would you gain?" I looked over at them surprised and answered, “What do you mean, what would I gain? It would make me feel better!” He looked over, “Yea, but for how long? Would it change your situation? Would it change him?” I sat there for a few moments letting his words sink in. And of course, he was right. Sure I may get a bit of satisfaction at first. But then what? I’d feel horrible. There would be more turmoil. I’d be turning into someone that I didn’t respect. And it wouldn’t change a damn thing. So, instead, I chose kindness. I chose to accept an apology I would never get; no matter how much I felt that I needed it. Instead, I chose to feel the heartache, the pain, and to slowly work through my emotions. I chose to finally be firm with the boundaries I had put in place. No more redrawing lines, no more ultimatums, and no more letting things slide. It was finally time for me to let go. It was time for this chapter to finally come to a close.  

Wordless Wednesday

Weight Loss - Weigh In - May 2019

Summer is officially here, y’all! Last week we had the last days of school for our area, and Emery was more than ready for it to be over. We had a lot of stuff to get done before school was out so I was a little MIA. Sorry! We’ve also had some changes at home, and I spent some much needed time smoothing out the transition. There were also some back-to-back storms that rolled through our area last month and they kind of messed with my Wifi. We finally got it all fixed last Friday. This is why I completely spaced on my “weigh in” post for May. So, lucky you, this means that there will be two this month! You’re welcome. Anywho, let’s get started, shall we? 

Starting Weight (SW): 189 lbs
Current Weight (CW): 175.8 lbs
Goal Weight (GW): 160 lbs

On the diet front, I started doing a modified version of low carb. Now, I love pizza and pasta. Tortillas and bread. So, I knew that I didn’t want to give all of it up completely. After consulting my ever knowledgable sister-in-law I decided to try and stick with 100g or less on carbs during the week. On the weekends I would just stick with making healthy choices. So far, I feel like this has made me feel better physically. I’m sticking with it as best as I can, and overall there has been less bloating. I also backed off on my coffee intake. And y’all, that detox was no freakin’ joke. I spent five full days in absolute hell. Another two with some killer headaches. But, I got it done. Last week I did have some days when I consumed coffee, but we are going back off this week. Fingers crossed it won’t be so bad. My water intake has stayed consistent, and overall I’m pleased with that. 

Moving on to fitness. May was not my best month. BUT there was progress. I did spend time walking in the afternoons, and I went to the gym twice a week. I mainly used the treadmill to walk and I’d hop on the elliptical too. I’m trying to get my body used to doing cardio again since I’ve gone so long without. June will be the month that I start building on this progress. I'm hoping to have a nice variety of gym time as well as hitting the track for some good old fashion bleacher sessions. Wish me luck! 

Mentally, May started off rocky. I had a few major changes that I’ll talk about at a later date. There was an adjustment period that I needed to work through. My doctor and I had also increased my medication by a few mg’s and it took a few days to figure out what time frame they needed to be taken at in order for me to not feel complete groggy in the mornings. I’ve still been taking the weight loss pills, but only during the week. They now only keep me really REALLY thirsty. They were not much of an appetite suppressant for very long. About the first three weeks only. And as I spoke about them before, they did not give me any energy. So, at the moment they’re just ensuring that I keep drinking water throughout the day. I go back to speak with my doctor in two weeks about all of the medications I have and when we’ll be starting the process of getting me off of them. We’ll also be doing more blood work and I’m hoping there’s been some improvement with my thyroid as well as my hormones. 

Overall, I’ve been feeling a lot better than I have in a long time. I’ve stayed off of Facebook for the most part since I gave it up for Lent. Updated a few things last night, but that was done on the computer. The APP has been removed from my phone.  The only real social media I use is Instagram. My phone switches over to “Do Not Disturb” earlier than before too. I feel like this has helped me out a lot. I’m focusing more on taking care of myself rather than all of the noise around me. That said, for June I have a few goals I’m hoping to smash. I’m wanting to start running again, and now that Emery is out of school I’m hoping to start a more consistent work out routine. However, I’m more focused on just being active rather than how many calories I’ve burned or the weight that I’m lifting. I’m more focused now on being healthy rather than “skinny”. I feel like my eating habits are pretty solid and established now so I just want to keep going in that area. And then, I'm also planning on finally deleting a few of my social media accounts and possibly deactivating Facebook again soon. So yeah here’s to June y’all! To summer and finally getting some downtime. I hope it's been a great start for everyone so far.