Wordless Wednesday

Better Boundaries

If I’m being honest, I was never really good at establishing boundaries or enforcing them. If you read back far enough on this blog, during my first marriage, it’s very apparent. While I would consider myself a strong person who got through some pretty rough times, I often wonder if outcomes would have been different had I enforced boundaries. Would I be different too? And well, I try not to get lost in that train of thinking because it’s in the past - there’s no going back there. But, sometimes I do wonder, what if?

Now, since my divorce and remarriage, I feel that I have gotten better at establishing boundaries. However, I do still find myself letting people push past them. Or, sometimes, even completely disregard them. And after my last little emotional breakdown, due to someone completely disregarding a boundary that I had verbally set, repeatedly. I decided that this needed to stop. So, the subject of boundaries is at the forefront of my mind these days.

I started reading the Boundaries series by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. And when I say read, I mean listening to the audiobook version on my way to and from work. It’s been pretty insightful. And sometimes, it feels like I’m being called out. In a good way. I’ll pause the book to let some of the information sink in. Sometimes, I’ll deny my guilt before the realization that I am actually guilty of the action or inaction being talked about hits me. Other times, I can smile with pride knowing that I've actually been implementing something correctly. It’s been eye-opening, to say the least.

So, the lesson I’m learning, is that I have no one to blame but myself. I am responsible for myself, my feelings, and my reactions. And no one can fix the issues but me. Whether that means speaking up more often or following through with consequences after people repeatedly disregard my boundaries. It’s all up to me. Now it can get difficult when dealing with family - your own or the one you married into. It can also be difficult to have boundaries with your partner, spouse, or even your children. And honestly, boundaries won’t all look the same for everyone. For example, my boundaries with my husband will be different from those I have with my daughter. And those will look completely different from the ones I establish with in-laws. But they are still important to have to create healthy, strong, and loving relationships.

I'll try to write a more in-depth post once I've finished this book.  For now, I look forward to learning more about boundaries. I’ve talked about them before, and I’ve loosely applied certain principles. However, life lately has been a bit of a rollercoaster, and I’m really interested in learning how to cultivate and maintain healthy boundaries with everyone in my life. Not just for my benefit, but their’s as well.

In Pursuit of Wellness // June 2024

A lot has changed since the last time I wrote about my wellness journey. I had a little health scare. I had to switch up supplements. I was benched from running for a whole month. And then switched up my diet plan. So, it’s been an interesting few months, to say the least.

Current Weight (CW): 186.6 lbs

Favorite Food: Cold Tomatoes with salt. This has been my go-to snack. I take two tomatoes, slice them up, and then sprinkle them with salt. Things in Texas are hot and humid right now. So, on most days when I want something cold and refreshing, this does the trick.

Movement: Running! I was given the green light to start running again. Though, I have to slowly build up my mileage. Currently, I’m doing 1.5 miles. After this week I can up it to 2.5 miles. I tried doing other exercises while I was benched, but they just did not make me feel the same. I’m sure it’s all mental, but I’m just super happy to be out on the roads/trails again!

Quick Journal: My diet has not been great. And I’ve had some stressors in my life lately that I’m trying to manage. So, not only has my stress gone up but I've also had a touch of depression and anxiety. I've been able to manage this by getting outside and listening to ASMR. I believe this has helped so I feel okay about where I'm at both physically and mentally. My next step will be to cut dairy products out again and then go back to limiting added sugar. I'm hoping this will help me feel much better. 

Overall, things are going well. While I’ve gained weight, there’s a reason for it, and I plan on taking the steps necessary to maintain a healthy weight for where I'm at this season. That said, after just one week of being able to run the scale has shown that I’ve slowed the weight gain. Now, the diet change won’t happen overnight, but I’m feeling positive. Also, I do plan on incorporating some strength training going forward. I’m trying to get a schedule worked out for that, and here’s hoping I can start next week. 

Wordless Wednesday

 

A Break from Running

As of today, I’m going on a month of no running. It wasn’t my idea; doctor’s orders. And it's been a very…interesting experience. At first, I felt very disconnected. Not just from my running friends but from myself as well. While running has always been a part of my life, joining a running club in 2021/2022 brought my relationship with it to another level. It also brought me a running community. A group of friends. It got me out of my comfort zone. It helped relieve my stress and gave me mental clarity. And it’s become a pretty major part of my life.

📸: Caitlin Moyer Photography

So, when I was told that I needed to scale back on running, it felt doable to let my body recover. “I’ll just run 5k’s for a while,” I told myself. Then at my last appointment, after some follow-up questions, the nurse practitioner said, “We’ll revisit this at your next appointment, but for now, no more running.” And I was so bummed. A month of no running? What was I going to do now? Well, I signed up for a gym membership thinking that if I at least moved my body it would be better than nothing. I overestimated my motivation though, and in the past month, I’ve only gone to the gym four times. Lifting weights and using a stationary bike are just not the same as going for a run.

The hardest part about this experience is putting my running goals on the back burner. At the beginning of the year, I talked about my plans, and how I wanted to reach certain distances this year. Then in February, I decided that I would train for the 2025 Cowtown Half starting in October. And I wanted to work on running farther without having to stop. While I had hoped to still be able to tackle some of these goals, after my last appointment, I was forced to realize that this probably wouldn’t be the case. Now, I know that there is a really good reason for being told to stop. My doctor knows best. So, I will do as I’m told because it’s important and because I eventually want to be able to run again. But it’s still hard.

Tomorrow is the "next appointment" and we will discuss my options. I’m hoping to have some good news. Please let me do slow intervals. But I’m also aware that even if I have good news, depending on how my body responds, I could be told to stop running for the rest of the year. So, here’s me hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. Regardless, I know this is all in God’s hands and there’s a reason for it. In the end, I’ll accept whatever he has in store.

Slow Living // The Summer of No Plans

Last month my husband had an unexpected day off. And instead of getting some much-needed rest, he decluttered our house. He packed up some stuff for storage, cleaned the kitchen, and swept the entire house. It was my Mother’s Day gift. He knew I had not been feeling well, I was exhausted and completely unmotivated. The state of our house was causing me even more anxiety. And so, he gave me a pretty wonderful gift.

Since then, we’ve maintained it pretty well. I’ve slacked on PUTTING UP the laundry, but not on having laundry DONE. So, I’m calling that a win. But the rest of the house is pretty minimal, and we clean all the rooms probably 1-2 times a week. Minus my teenager's room because: pick your battles. I still have to go through my huge DVD collection, and I’ve been casually browsing Facebook Marketplace for a good deal on a bookshelf to display all of my books again. As Corey said, “I’d rather you have books on display than a bunch of DVDs we never watch.” Still, I have some pretty great movies I’m not willing to part with, however, in the land of streaming services we pretty much have access to all of them digitally already. So, in a way, he’s right. It is time to get rid of most of them.

Enough about that; moving along. This summer, we have no plans. Originally, I wanted to go to California to visit my bestie. I also wanted to plan a girls' trip for Emery and myself. However, we’ve had some recent developments that have placed those plans on the back burner. Instead, we’ve talked about a 4th of July weekend trip to visit friends, but that’s still up in the air. Other than that, we plan to just be at home this summer. Enjoying some slow days and our animals. This wasn’t what our teenager wanted to hear but it is what it is.

I’ve been trying to make a better effort to stay at home. My feed is constantly flooded with pictures of trips and luxury vacations. Families that get to spend thousands at amusement parks. People buying new houses and cars. Or moms getting to have weekly shopping hauls at Ulta. And while I would love nothing more than to stay at a fancy hotel for a week with my family to explore a foreign country it’s not in our cards. We can’t financially do that. And instead of getting all bummed out about it, I have to tell myself that I have everything I need right here. My family, home, baby goats, and wide open spaces. So for now, I just need to be happy with that. Maybe one day I can take that vacation or we can buy a house, but we’re not in that season right now. And that’s okay.

📸: introvertedbossgirl

One of the aspects of “slow living” that drew me in was the idea of being content with less. Less is more. Less is more. It’s also a way to become truly aware of how materialistic our lives can become. And how, if not kept in check, can turn into something negative. Of course, there’s also the appeal of being able to slow down in all areas of my life. Slow down my day-to-day. Slow down my work schedule. Rest and reset more. All of which are things that we can benefit from. Even if implemented for short periods. Now, not everyone in my home is on board with this. It's actually been a cause of tension sometimes. But I’m trying my best to make that shift for myself. That said, I’ve realized this will be a constant work in progress for me. But again, that’s okay. Baby steps are just as important as the leaps and bounds. 

Wordless Wednesday

📸 : Julie Brinkley from SRC