Wordless Wednesday

Let's Run About It // Make it Simple

Running lately has looked a lot different than what I originally pictured for 2024. I have spent the equivalent of 4 weeks this year being sick or recovering from being sick. That time off set me back a lot, regarding my yearly running mileage goal of 801 miles. In fact, I’m 95% sure I will not reach that goal. I did the math, and when I saw the weekly mileage I needed, I said, “Nope.” Because, again, this year I’m keeping it simple. 

So, what exactly does that mean and look like for me? Well, I’ve tossed out my running schedule. I’ve started this thing where I only run when I feel like running. I try to run at least once per week as long as my schedule allows for it - because as we all know: life happens. So, that’s the new goal. It’s taken a lot of pressure off of me, mentally, and I’m not stressing over having to hit a specific weekly mileage. When out on group runs I’m usually asked, “How many miles do you need?” And it’s very liberating to answer with, “I’m down for whatever y’all want to run, I don’t have a set amount.”

Now, I get that there’s something to be said for discipline, and doing things even on days you don’t want to. I could regurgitate all of these toxic gym/exercise quotes about “pushing yourself because no one else will,” or “quitters don’t get results.” But I’ve learned, that going hard 24/7 is NOT it. And when something you once enjoyed starts to become a cause of stress in your life, then maybe it's time to scale back. And honestly, there are times when I know I’m just being lazy or coming up with excuses not to run. But I’ve felt so much better, and happier since implementing this way of approaching running. I’m seeing my family more, and getting more sleep. My home life doesn’t revolve around a run schedule, and while some days I do solo runs that are hard - it’s because I want to. It’s because I feel like it. It’s not a chore. It’s not forced. I feel good about each run. And running is starting to feel relaxing again - fun even. 

I’ve also stopped being so concerned with my pace. Which isn’t always easy, because I can be a little competitive. And while I know I originally wanted to focus a bit on speedwork this year, one of my hips has been acting up. Usually around mile 5 or 6, and the pain sticks around for a day or two. So, I’ve stuck with easy paces that feel comfortable and maintainable for me. Also, I have reluctantly started doing short 20-minute yoga sessions to help with my mobility. The hope is that it will help my hip get back to feeling better. Y’all, I am not flexible. In fact, I’m very rigid and tight. So, I’m not a huge fan of yoga, but I wanted to try something at home before hitting up a physical therapist for this issue. Fingers crossed that increased flexibility and stretching will do the trick.

And that’s been my approach for the past few weeks. Just doing my best. Running for fun. Tackling some solo runs, and then enjoying some miles with friends. The other day I ran across this reel by herms.runs, and as I was going through the comments I realized that my desire to make running simple was something other runners were really into as well. And sometimes, others felt it was necessary. So, I feel like I'm on the right track, and it's reinforced my resolve to continue with it for the rest of the year.

Wordless Wednesday

 

Disappointments & Failing

Last week was Spring Break for us and while that normally stirs up images of vacations and the beach, we stayed put. I was slammed at work, staying after hours most evenings. I didn’t get very many opportunities to write. But I did manage to fit in a few afternoon runs thanks to the time change, and one early morning workout. Still not sure how I feel about that. Anyway, sometimes I get bummed out that we can’t afford to take time off to have a vacation. Anyone else? Like, you know that you need that break, that check-out, but you just can’t afford to do it? This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. 

I’ve been trying to figure out how other people afford to get by right now, and still manage to save money to take their families on vacations. How do people afford house payments and vehicle payments with rates so high? The price of groceries is through the roof too. It’s something we’ve been struggling with lately - even on a budget. We’ve had to say “NO” to a lot of things lately (baby showers, home repairs, birthday parties, etc.) because we can’t afford to spend extra. And we constantly talk about how we have to sacrifice now for rewards later. But we’ve been sacrificing for years. And with each passing one, it just seems like something else comes up.

 

Yes, we have managed to pay down debt, and we are doing the best we can to cut costs. As I mentioned in a previous post, we wanted to either buy a home or remodel our current one. But those plans keep getting pushed back, and it’s really frustrating. However, realistically we can’t afford to take on any more payments. So, we do what we can. And we live paycheck to paycheck for the most part. And that has left me feeling very disappointed with myself. Because I honestly thought I’d be much further along than I am right now. Even with a Bachelor’s degree, my salary is on the lower end. I thought I’d be making more money by now. I thought I would be a homebuyer by now too. And I thought I’d be able to afford to take a vacation at least once a year - even if it was close by. I thought I’d have more in my savings (job issues have drained that). And I thought life would be a little easier.

Some people (read: my husband) think it’s superficial and materialistic to want so many things. “You’ll never be happy with more if you can’t be content/grateful for what you have now.” And to an extent, I get it. Which is why I try to appreciate what I do have. A vehicle that gets me from point A to point B. Our relatively good health. Clothing and shoes. A roof over our heads. And the ability to buy food and medicine when needed. There really is a lot to be grateful for. That said, I don’t think it’s wrong or bad to want a home that doesn’t constantly have issues (electricity/plumbing/sewer problems, mold, no closet in our bedroom, bug problems - last year it was crickets and wolf spiders). I don’t think it’s wrong to want financial stability either. To be able to purchase a baby shower gift or set a doctor’s appointment without worrying about which bill it will take away from. And I don’t think it’s a bad thing to want to explore and travel a bit - without having to camp out because it’s the cheapest. I’m not against camping, but my back is not a fan. And so, I feel that I should have achieved more in life by now. I feel like I’m failing a bit at this whole adulting thing. And I really feel like I’m failing my family.

Anyway, that’s enough word vomit for now. Sorry this post is such a downer. It’s just how I’m feeling right now. I know that we are slowly chipping away at what needs to be paid down. I know that my concerns are valid, and I’m doing my best. Still, sometimes finances are tight, and it makes life a little hard. But we’ll get through it though - we always do.

All About the Drama // 20th Century Girl

Name: 20th Century Girl
Length: 1 hr 59m
Region: Korea
My Rating: 5/5

Synopsis: “In 1999, a teen girl keeps close tabs on a boy in school on behalf of her deeply smitten best friend – then she gets swept up in a love story of her own.”

First, let me say that this is a film - not a show. Second, Netflix labeled it a “lighthearted & easy” watch, which is why I picked it, and they straight-up LIED. This film left me wrecked - for days. The first 80% of the film is lighthearted as it touches on subjects of youth, friendship, humor, and first love. The other 20% is bittersweet, relatable, and so freakin’ sad. I ugly cried so hard. And then a few days later, while explaining the movie to my husband at a red light, I ugly cried again. The story was just so much deeper than what the synopsis makes you think.

Kim Yoo-jung is so delightful to watch in this one. She plays such a drastically different character in this film than the one she played in My Demon - which is what I first saw her in. And this was my introduction to Byeon Woo-seok, who kind of blew me away. The film itself isn’t some grand cinematic achievement either, but these two captured their character’s emotions so well. I mean, it was as if they WERE the characters. And when one of them cried, I cried too because it felt so real. Their portrayals of Na Bo-Ra and Poong Woon-Ho were perfect. The side characters played by Ong Seong-wu and Roh Yoon-seo were great too! They definitely added to the story rather than distracting from it.

Overall, this was a wonderful film. Though I don’t know if I could watch it again. I tried watching the last 30 minutes over, and couldn’t finish it. The way this story ended just felt so wrong and I really wish it had been different. There’s a beautiful letter, two plot twists, and a train scene - all left me feeling all of the feels. There’s also a specific piece of information that the audience doesn’t receive either and it frustrated me. Though you technically don’t need that information at all - I WANTED to know. I felt like I NEEDED to know. Heck, the audience DESERVED it. And when the last line was spoken and it cut to the credits I sobbed. "That can't be how it ends?!" Still, I appreciated how realistic it was, and how many emotions it stirred up for me. Again, not sure if I could watch it a second time though. 

And that wraps up my review. While looking up the synopsis for the film I came across this review and it’s brief but also spot on. If you’re ever in the mood for some 1999 nostalgia, a lovely story, and a good cry - give this one a watch. You can find it over on Netflix - linked in the name below the picture up top. Until the next one, 🤞.

Happy Friday // Let Me Just Ramble for a Minute

Well, I had planned on posting a nice little "Monday Motivation" this week, but I got a little busy. This entire week has been nonstop at work, and I'm just happy that I had two days of my boss being out of the office to get all caught up. Then my after-work routine was all jacked, and it's been one thing after another. I did get a chance to run a single time this week, so that's progress. We've had rain the past two days so I didn't get to fit another one in. But by yesterday evening I was so exhausted. My body was ready to be in bed at like 7 PM, but my brain was like, "No sleep for you." So, I took a melatonin at 8:45 PM and was OUT by 9:30 PM.  Your girl needed it. This morning, I woke up feeling decent and rested. 

Anyway, it has been a long week. I still have so much I have to catch up on over the weekend. We have to gather all of our tax paperwork because we need to get our income taxes done next week. Sadly, we are going to owe this year - thanks to 1099 occupations. There go our vacation plans. So, we weren't in a huge rush to file them. However, my husband will be working out of town in April so I figured, we might as well bite the bullet and get it done. I'm also just about ready to burn my closet and shoe rack down, so getting rid of more stuff is on my to-do list this weekend. And finally, I have to finish my annulment paperwork. I know, I know. Originally, we wanted to have a "second" wedding where we could get married through the church and have a reception for family/friends. Unfortunately, we won't be able to swing that financially. So, I wasn't in a huge rush to get this all done. But some things have come up and now we have to get the annulment paperwork sent out. 

So, that's the plan. I will also be catching up on laundry and cleaning after I run a few miles tomorrow morning. And I just took a minute to re-read everything I just typed up and I kind of want to say, "Meh. I don't wanna." I'd much rather lounge in my PJs, eat some snacks, and watch some TV. But if you know me, you know that I'll be chipping away at my to-do list like a good adult. Meh. I hope I get back into my normal routine soon - including posting. But if not, well, my bad. Until next time, adios!

Wordless Wednesday

Gratitude Journal // Three - One - Twenty Four

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for to see all of your blessings. Though I admit that sometimes I find myself taking things for granted, I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

  

Lunch w/Friends: I’ve been making it a point to have lunch with work friends at least once a month. It’s a way to get out of the office, and just talk about how things are going on campus. It also gets me, a highly introverted person, out of my comfort zone. This year, I've wanted to put more time/effort into my friendships too. Scheduling a lunch once a month is a great way for us to come together and nurture those friendships. 

Running: I spent a good amount of January and February sick. Which meant I missed about 4 weeks of running. And nothing makes you more grateful to be able to run than NOT being able to run for a while. Today, I’m super grateful for my body’s ability to keep moving. To keep running. Not only does it help me physically, but also mentally.

Ice Cream: We disregarded our dietary restrictions a few times last month. Granted, we were upfront about when/why we would be disregarding it - birthdays and events with friends. One of my treats was a DQ Choco Brownie Blizzard, and it was amazing! My stomach hurt for several days afterward, but it was WORTH every bit of that pain.

My Planner: While I’m doing my best to approach life with the idea of simple/slow living, I love my planner. It’s not as jam-packed as it used to be, thankfully, but it holds the essentials and allows me to jot things down that need my attention. It also helps me refocus on prayer, and journal a bit at the beginning of every month. I only use it at work and make a note to not schedule things outside of working hours UNLESS absolutely necessary. Anyway, I have this planner, and it’s my third year with it. I love it.

My Home: I look at my house, and I see so many things wrong with it. The siding is terrible. The windows are old and single-pane, which means our electricity bill is never under $250/month (and that’s during the winter). There are so many nooks and cracks that let bugs in too. It’s small and we don’t have a lot of room. The interior needs a lot of work & could use some paint. We constantly have ONE issue after another (plumbing, water, things breaking, electrical issues, septic problems, etc). BUT it’s our home. It’s a roof over our heads. It’s the place where we can live with affordable rent - which is not an easy thing to find these days. It has running water, electricity, beds, and a place for our things. And I am so GRATEFUL to have it. While one day I hope to have something a bit more, our home is more than enough right now. And for that, I’m blessed.

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? Will you be taking some time off during spring break? Any vacation or staycation plans? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope everyone has a great weekend! Adios!

“Will you loosen your grip on all that was “supposed” to be and look at Me?” // Shalini Blubaugh

❤