A New Language // Mandarin 你好

When I watch movies and shows or even read books that take place in other countries, I’m always left with this feeling of wanderlust. I want to go visit these places, eat the food, and experience the culture there. I want to meet people who call these countries their home and learn more about their history and traditions too. Sadly, I don’t even have a passport. Still, a girl can dream, right? Anyway, with this wanderlust comes a desire to understand a little bit about the language in each of these countries. And my recent obsession has landed with Asian countries.

During the week that I was taken out by a sinus infection, I fell down the Asian Entertainment rabbit hole. I have since watched a ton of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and Thai shows. I watched "F4: Thailand," "Meteor Garden," "Nevertheless," "Love Between Fairy and Devil," and "Business Proposal" - just to name a handful. I recently finished “The Smile Has Left Your Eyes,” and I’m currently on “Lighter and Princess.” However, this entire time, I’ve kept questioning the accuracy of the translations that I see with subtitles. Knowing firsthand that they could be wrong, from watching Spanish shows/films, I told myself that I wanted to learn Mandarin. I sat in bed one night as I started yet another show and I told Corey, “I want to be able to watch these without needing the subtitles.” He gave me a look and said, “Whatever you want babe.”

He and Emery both think I’m crazy, and maybe I am, but I wanted to give it a shot. Little did I know that I was picking one of the hardest languages on earth. I tried Coursera, but I wasn’t able to hear the pronunciations clearly in the recordings so it was super frustrating for me. And well, it’s been difficult finding a class - the closest one is about 2 hours away. There’s not a very large Asian community in our town either, so finding someone local that I could practice with has proven to be very difficult. In the end, I decided to give Duolingo a shot. I had previously used it for Spanish, as I was trying to build on what I already knew at the time. So, I decided to go ahead with starting the Mandarin Chinese lessons through the app.

It’s been a bit of a slow start for me, but I’ve learned some phrases and numbers. I’ve just been repeating UNIT 1 LESSONS 1 & 2, until things stick in my brain. But y’all, this language is a whole other ballgame. They use tones, and their language is technically just sounds. They do not use an alphabet but rather characters that represent meaning. Then Pinyin is used to translate those characters for people who are learning to speak it. But the little I have learned, I’ve been able to pick out if I hear it in a C-drama. I’m hoping to dedicate some more time to it and put things down on paper once Emery switches over to off-season. If that goes well, I’ll consider the in-person class 2 hours away.

For now, I’ll keep trucking along with my app. Maybe next year I’ll invest in Rosetta Stone or something similar. And while it’s been difficult/challenging, it’s also been really fun! We’ve started branching out on some of our food choices - hoping to incorporate and modify Asian dishes to fit my current dietary restrictions. I’ve followed a few Mandarin-teaching Instagram accounts to help with pronunciation. And taking this on has allowed me to keep learning without the huge price tag or stressors that come with college courses.

When a friend asked me why I wanted to learn Mandarin my answer was, “So I can understand my shows without needing subtitles. Or at least not needing to rely on them so much.” She said, “Maybe you’re just not done learning. Once you get Mandarin down, you’ll want to learn others.” And she’s not wrong. I’d love to learn a little bit of a handful of others - French, Finnish, Korean, and Portuguese. For now, I plan to stick with Mandarin for at least a year - see where it takes me. Worst case, I learned a few things. Best case, I can actually communicate with someone who speaks it fluently. Either way, it's a win! Until the next post, zàijiàn. ✌

Wordless Wednesday

 

Here's to 36

This past Saturday was my birthday. Your girl turned 36! It started out with an early morning run - joining some pretty funny women. It included being able to attend a parade, a new ink addition, a 2-hour long nap, and A LOT of "bad food." But most importantly - I had chocolate cake. The aftermath of this included a severe stomachache, a blemish breakout on my face, constipation, and bloating that still hasn't gone away. But it was SO WORTH IT!🎂

I spent the day with some of my favorite people. I did something I really enjoyed. I took some time for myself. And I counted my blessings. As I've gotten older, I feel like that's what I want to focus on each year - giving thanks. Telling God, "Thank you" for letting me be here. Being present with those I care about. And fitting in some much-needed rest. Obviously, eating some junk food, carbs, and chocolate doesn't hurt - or it kind of does but I'll take one for the team. So, here's to another year! Here's to new goals and achievements. To failures and lessons. To new opportunities and growth. Here's to 36!

Wordless Wednesday

Motherhood // Thirteen

This age has come with frustration, rewards, pride, confusion, annoyance, and joy. All mixed into one. This has been the year that I’ve really noticed my and Emery’s relationship shifting. Navigating these changes has come with many challenges - some denial on my part too. I mean, yes, she’s getting older. Yes, she’s starting to have her own opinions. Yes, we disagree a lot more. And yes, there’s that pushing of boundaries. She's also having to figure out who she is, as her own person - apart from her family unit. So, I’ve come to find that when people say the teenage years are rough, they are not kidding. Even for the most well-behaved kids out there, these years seem to be harder for parents. And for me, sometimes it feels like the changes happened overnight - I blinked.

Emery is now two inches taller than me. She’s a social butterfly and 85% of the time she’s really extroverted. She’s learning how to drive. She constantly talks about “hating” her nose - which looks like mine. She doesn’t like to “hang out” with me very often - opting to stay home rather than go anywhere with me. Her taste in music is constantly evolving, and so is her taste in movies/shows. She’s starting to have crushes on boys and has questions/concerns about dating (in the future). She’s figuring out who her friends are, and who are only around so they can talk badly about what they’ve learned. She says “no” more and talks back. Sometimes there’s more sass coming from her than I know what to do with, and it’s during those instances that the reality of how different we are is on full display. Sometimes it's frustrating. I hear some of the same phrases I used to dish out to my parents at that age. Then the feelings/memories of how I felt come rushing back and I know exactly how she feels. However, now I'm seeing things from the eyes of a parent. And that's when I call my mom and apologize for the hell I put her through - for the millionth time.

All of that said, there are still moments when my little baby comes out. When she’s sick and wants me to lay in bed with her until she falls asleep. When she performs these karaoke song/dance routines for Corey and me. When she kisses my cheek before exiting the car at school drop-off. Followed by, “Bye Mom. Love you.” When she’s had a rough week, she’ll jump on me and wrap herself around me, while saying, “Just love on me, mom.” Or when she asks if we can talk. Usually about her feelings, things that are bothering her, or just opinions about something going on. It’s a more grown-up version of our old, “Mommy-Daughter talks.” Then, sometimes during car rides, she’ll randomly play a song she used to listen to when she was little - singing along to every word. And I get tears in my eyes because I can picture her in her green car seat, bopping her little head to the beat and singing at the top of her lungs. 

Thirteen, so far, has been a bittersweet age. Sometimes, I look at her, and I can’t see that chubby little toddler who dressed in bright-colored outfits and clung to my neck. Then there are some nights, while putting some of her stuff away, that she’ll be asleep and I get a brief glimpse of that little girl again. But it’s back to the young lady she’s growing into, every morning when she walks out of her room. It’s bell-bottom jeans and makeup. Her white backpack hanging across her shoulders, and cell phone in hand - she'll reach for the car keys and ask if she can drive to the end of the road. Somedays, I don’t miss a beat. We’re usually rushing out the door. Others, I stop in my tracks, and I can’t believe how fast the years went by - I blinked. 

Wordless Wednesday

Gratitude Journal // Ten - Nine - Twenty Three

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for to see all of your blessings. Though I admit that sometimes I find myself taking things for granted, I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

Fall: Temperatures have lowered. Mornings are crisp and cool. We’ve had some rain in our area, which was much needed. The leaves are turning orange, yellow, and brown. And the insects are slowly but surely, going away! Y’all, when I say the bugs were a nightmare this year…that’s an understatement. Anyway, where once I was all about summer, in my old age, Fall has quickly become my favorite season.

Better health: I have been asked to stick with my recent dietary changes for another 8 weeks - 16 weeks total. If you know how much I love chocolate, you know that was a brutal blow. But here we are, week 9. That said, I have lost weight, my brain fog is pretty much gone, and I’ve been waking up around 5 a.m. every morning like clockwork. I was able to reintroduce some dairy, though I’m sure that will be removed again as I’m almost positive that I am lactose intolerant. Still, I’m grateful for better health, and getting answers.

Sugar-Free Alternatives: If you are ever in need of some tasty sugar-free alternatives, check out Primal Kitchen. Their dressing/condiments/sauces have been life savers as I make better eating choices and work on my relationship with food. I love BBQ sauce, ranch dressing, and ketchup. I’ve tried a lot of different alternatives out there but they never really tasted quite right. Then I found PK, and so far, everything I have purchased from them is super close to the original stuff. They are a tad pricey, but it’s made me not miss the “real” stuff so much. A big THANK YOU goes out to the creators of their products because they do a good job.

Slow Days: I thought once I graduated I would have more of these. But when your daughter gets older and starts participating in more school functions - it’s not always the case. So, when we do get slow days, I try to revel in them. They’re probably the days I look forward to the most. They’re slow, late starts. Drinking my coffee smoothie on the back porch. Lounging in PJs all day. Being able to take naps if I want. And just taking the time to enjoy my home space.

My Family: I am blessed to have the family that I do. Sometimes they’re annoying. A little old-fashioned. We don’t always see eye-to-eye. BUT y’all, we love each other. We support each other. I know that I’m fortunate enough to have grown up with two parents who really cared about me and did the best that they could. It’s because of them that family has always been super important to me. And while I may have been difficult, hard to get along with, and damn set on carving my own path - not once did I ever feel like I wasn’t loved by my family. Like I wasn’t supported. I’m truly grateful to have the family that I do. And even more fortunate that Emery gets to experience it as well.

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? What are your plans for October? Are you in a place that has already gotten snow this year? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope everyone has a really lovely week! Adios!

“You are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.” // Rachel Hollis 

❤

Wordless Wednesday

Monday Motivation

It’s a new week and a new month! My favorite month. My birthday month. And my favorite season of the year truly begins. September came with a lot more activity than I expected. From work to Emery’s after-school activities. There were even two weeks that I was only able to run on Saturdays - which really threw me off. It was also the toughest month of my healthy eating plan. It was when the cravings really kicked in. When the headaches and exhaustion really hit me. When the depression and bitterness really took hold. But now, we are starting fresh! And I’m feeling much better. So, today, I’m wishing you all a very Happy Monday! And HAPPY OCTOBER, y’all!! Let the Spooky Season begin.