Maternity Leave is Officially Over

Well, my maternity leave was up on January 27. However, our household came down with several illnesses (RSV, bronchitis, and the Flu), so my bosses let me work from home until we were all on the mend. I returned to the office at the beginning of February, and during one of my first weeks back, we got snow. I'd like to think God was giving me a little welcome back of his own.  

 

This transition has been rough. Breastfeeding timing, getting ready in the morning, and then having to navigate drop-offs and pick-ups for both kiddos has been a huge learning curve. Most days, I’m running behind. I’m barely getting Emery to school as the bell is ringing. My son hates the car seat, so the drive to his sitter’s house is usually filled with tears. And I’m sliding into my office about 5-10 minutes after I’m supposed to be there. That said, we had a male employee who welcomed a child a week after we did, and he was able to change his working hours to 9 AM - 3 PM. So, they better give me grace for those 5-10 minutes because I’m trying. My daughter’s extracurricular activities and practices have also been interesting to navigate. And I’ve had to resort to asking for help from other moms a handful of times.

Bedtime routines are there(ish), but the quality of sleep is not. For me, anyway. The time change (which I love) has brought even more challenges (which I don’t love). Since we co-sleep, my husband was originally camping out on the couch. But that’s not the most comfortable, so getting a full 8 hours for him was a challenge. He’s now back in our bed, so we are learning to navigate the bedsharing situation. That said, I am up at 12, 2, 4, and 6 AM. Like clockwork. Sometimes, I get up in between those times because of all the grunting and scootching that my son is doing. However, I’m averaging between 6.5 and 7 hours each night. It’s not good sleep, but it’s sleep, so that’s a win.

Work has also felt different for me. I like having a routine, being around other adults, and being productive outside of my home life. But, where once I was so focused on the “next steps” and “new challenges” in my career, these days I’m just ready to be home with my family. I was already leaning in that direction before maternity leave, but having a baby kicked that shift into high gear. Any drama that’s taking place, I stay out of. When I’m allowed to work from home or leave early, I do. I’m not super concerned with climbing higher on the ladder. Maybe one day I’ll get back to that, but not right now. Instead, I’m finding ways to do my job better and hopefully negotiate a higher salary once reviews take place in June. Because honestly, a job is a paycheck. While we NEED money to pay bills and buy food. I can always find another job. And I am completely replaceable here. The show will go on without me. So, my home life is what’s most important to me. Spending time with my family and kids is what I value most.

All of this is to say that things are chugging along. I’ve got a few things down and some other kinks to work out. Our new family dynamic is a work in progress. I deal with “working mom’s guilt” more often than not. My marriage sometimes feels strained, like we’re prioritizing everything else before each other. But then, Corey and I will hold hands before bed, and it’s a gentle reminder that we’re still in it. At the end of the day, my house is a mess, the laundry is piled up, and I’m exhausted. But my family is happy and healthy. We have food on the table and a roof over our heads. Listening to my daughter sing to her baby brother stirs so much love in my heart. Being present for her and him in the short amount of hours in the day I get with them is super important to me. And I keep telling myself that this is just a season. Before we know it, we’ll blink, and it’ll be gone.

Postpartum

We were home, and I was exhausted. My milk supply was not coming in. I was feeding every hour on the hour. I didn’t want to leave the house. My son was not pooping. He was spitting up almost everything that I gave him. He would only sleep if he were held. And I couldn’t sleep out of fear that something would happen. My anxiety had me on such an edge that I was averaging 2.5 hours of sleep each day (according to my watch). I cried over everything. Everything. And this went on for about two weeks before I had a breakdown.

Now, I knew after the first few days that I had the baby blues and postpartum anxiety. But I didn’t realize how bad it was until one night, I sat crying about not producing enough milk while my son cried out in frustration - yanking on my nipple. He hadn’t pooped yet, and he would strain so much. I was concerned that something was wrong. I hadn’t showered in several days, I wasn’t getting any sleep, my nipples were cracked, and it was so painful every time my son would latch. My husband insisted that I pump, but barely anything was coming out. And I just lost it in front of everyone. That’s when my husband, mom, and stepmother-in-law came up with a plan to take shifts. My husband told me to go to bed, and they would wake me up when I needed to pump so they could feed him. That night, I got some much-needed rest. And while I felt better the next day, I knew our routine was unsustainable.

 

Eventually, I went to see my doctor. While they prescribed some medication, I decided to try a few other things first to see if they would help. So, we went outside. I forced myself to make more trips into town. I asked for help so I could do a few things around the house and shower at least every three days. I started breathing through my anxiety - long, deep breaths. By week 3, the baby blues had passed, and by week 8, my anxiety had significantly decreased. Also, at the recommendation of several family members, I started researching safe co-sleeping. This isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. I had co-slept with Emery, but I was completely oblivious to safe co-sleeping practices back then. This time, I was much older and exhausted. And I was dealing with severe anxiety, so I was scared to even think about cosleeping. However, after reading up on safe co-sleeping and bedsharing, I felt comfortable enough to give it a go. And let me just say that once we began co-sleeping, I started getting more sleep. We both did. I went from getting 4 hours a night to 6 hours in the form of two 3-hour stretches. Again, this isn’t for everyone.

Things have gotten better. I can function on the sleep I’m getting now. The minor health issues that little man has are things that he’ll outgrow. And we’re slowly adapting to our new family dynamic. While I had been totally prepared for the physical part of postpartum, the emotional and mental parts had completely taken me by surprise. I was ready for the bleeding and wobbling around. I was prepared for the fluctuation in hormone levels and the breastfeeding pain. But I was not prepared for the depression, anxiety, and tears. I was not prepared for the emotional breakdown that came with sleep deprivation. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind. And I was not prepared for the feeling of loneliness that seemed all-consuming. This postpartum was a completely different experience from when I had my daughter. Now that we’re three months in, I look back at that time with sadness. My anxiety really robbed me of being able to enjoy those first two weeks of “newborn bliss”. And I feel like I robbed my son of having a calm and peaceful introduction to the world. Instead, he got the mom, who was filled with anxiety, exhaustion, and panic.

Coming Home

Shortly after my son arrived, things were all fuzzy. I was tired. The doctor was stitching me up. My son was on my chest, looking shocked and sucking on his fingers. People all around were talking. Once that was all taken care of, it got quiet in the room, and we were able to have a “golden hour” as a family of four. I couldn’t believe that our little boy was finally here.

While I was so happy that he got here safely, it didn’t feel the same as the last time I had given birth. I knew I loved this little baby, but it differed greatly from my daughter. I couldn’t quite pinpoint the feeling, but it grew over the next 24 hours. It was like a slow bloom at first - as I stared at him. Then, tracing his nose and holding his little fingers, it felt surreal that he was actually in my arms. He would open his eyes and look at me with this intensity, too. He was perfect and very calm.

While at the hospital, I felt safe. If I had questions, the nurses would answer them. If we needed help, a nurse would come in. If you’ve ever given birth, you know that you get little to no sleep at a hospital. Surprisingly, I found comfort in that. There was always someone there if needed. And even though this was not my first time having a child - it had been 14 years since I had gone through this - everything was so different.

We were released the following afternoon, and while we were all excited to be going home, this is when my anxiety started to creep in. I worried about the car seat. I kept checking his breathing. When we got home, I thought I would feel more comfortable, but it was the complete opposite. Gone were the nurses. No one at home knew CPR. There wasn’t another person checking on my son to make sure he was okay in the middle of the night. Adding to that anxiety, he did not want to sleep while swaddled or in a bassinet. All he wanted was contact naps. And that’s when things started going downhill for me.

A Birth Story // Part II

When I say that I labored in all positions, I mean it. We walked the halls a lot. I would sit on the birthing ball and roll my hips in figure 8s. Then, when the nurse spotted the heart rate issue, I had to add several other positions. They dropped the bed, and I was in a sitting position. I went through several contractions that way. Then they laid me back down and put a peanut ball between my legs - having me bend back a bit. Not a fan of that one at all. And then I was asked to get on all fours - rocking back and forth. Then, they brought the birthing ball for me to wrap my arms around and rock. Finally, they got Corey involved, and we did the “slow-dance” position. We did this for about 2 hours. Switching between each one every 20 - 25 minutes. 

During all of this, the nurse kept monitoring my baby’s heart rate. Thankfully, her advice worked, and it started to remain steady. I was told that I could labor however I felt the most comfortable from that point on. While this was good news, this was also about the time that I started to struggle a bit. I began to waver in my decision to attempt this without medication. As I swayed through another contraction, the pain was so intense. I remember telling Corey, “I think I’m going to need something to get through this. It hurts so bad.” He told me that he supported that decision, and so I asked the nurse for some medication.

BUT it was too late. Originally, she told me that she’d bring me some pain medication to give me through my IV. Before she left the room, she checked me and said I was past 8 cm. When she returned empty-handed, I knew I wouldn’t be getting anything. “I’m so sorry. They told me that since you are at an 8, we can’t administer any medication.” I asked about nitrous, and she said they were out. I almost cried as I swayed from side to side next to the bed. The contractions were getting closer together, and they were painful. I mentally scolded myself, “Why did you think it was a good idea to do this without any drugs?” And just as another contraction peaked, a second nurse came in and declared that the nitrous had been restocked. She connected the mask, and they gave me instructions on what I had to do.

This is when time felt like it was going by really fast and slow all at the same time. I got up on the bed with the birthing ball and the nitrous mask. I had several contractions in that position before I was rechecked. Another nurse came in, and the doctor appeared. There was a whirlwind of pulling tables closer to the bed, and the doctor asked me to get on my back. She checked me and said, “It’s time to push.” The nurse told her I wanted to go with a squat bar for delivery, but the doctor said it wasn’t an option due to the umbilical cord. She needed access in case my son wasn’t breathing and she needed to perform lifesaving measures. My feet were placed in stirrups, and Corey was asked where he’d like to stand. My daughter and mother were sitting behind the doctor, and they opted to stay in the room.

As the doctor instructed me to push, I bared down, and that’s when I started to feel the “ring of fire”. It was so intense. As soon as the next contraction peaked, she said, “PUSH.” I pushed down as hard as I could. Other people were saying words of encouragement, but I tried to focus on the doctor. I was tired, and the pain felt like it was never going to end. The next contraction started, and soon after, I heard her say again, “PUSH.” This time, I pushed, but I didn’t do a full push. I felt weak and exhausted. I remember looking at Corey and thinking, “I can’t do this.” And that’s when I heard someone say, “He’s almost out, he’s right there, one more good push.” And I gave it all I had. My right leg came down, and the nurse had to grab it and place it back up. But I bared down, and within seconds, he was out. They placed him on my chest, and he let out a cry while I let out a sigh of relief. He was finally here.

A Birth Story // Part I

My entire pregnancy was relatively “easy” but we had to change plans a couple of times. And then when it came to labor and delivery, I ended up having to be induced. While I had hoped to avoid induction, my doctor felt it was the best course of action. So, that’s what we did.

The Monday before my scheduled induction I let my employer know I would be out. I finalized my sick pool request, which was granted. Thankfully. That Tuesday, I worked on “tying up loose ends” and handing over important documents to the person taking on some of my duties. I said bye to everyone and went home to pack.

That afternoon, I packed my hospital bag and went over a mental checklist. Gown, socks, toiletries, snacks, adult diapers, phone charger, etc. I placed my son’s going-home outfit in my bag and had Corey check that the car seat was installed properly. He then made sure to pack his pillow and loaded up our bags. It felt unreal that, God willing, by that time on the following day our son would be here.

The day of my induction started early for us. We had to be at the hospital by 5 AM which meant we had to be up at 4 AM. Our alarm went off, and we made sure to gather the last bit of things we needed. We fixed our coffee and grabbed some breakfast. I walked into my daughter’s room and gave her a kiss. I told her I’d see her later and off we went.

The drive was pretty quiet as I was mentally preparing myself for what I was about to go through. The plan was to labor and deliver without any kind of pain medication. I had done it with my daughter, and I was adamant about doing it again. But that meant I would have to endure quite a bit of pain. So, I sipped on my coffee and ate my breakfast as we traveled down the winding back road towards the hospital. I kept thinking about how our lives were about to change, forever.

Once we arrived at the hospital the check-in process was simple. We were taken back to our room, and I started the process of getting ready. The nurse hooked up my IV and the wireless monitor system. Another nurse asked how I’d like to labor, and I informed her of my wishes. We were given some more paperwork, and then I was told that the Pitocin would be started after the doctor came in to check on me. Corey went out to grab some breakfast, and I recorded a little vlog while I waited.

By 7 AM, we had met the nurses who would be our “team”. We discussed natural pain management, and alternative non-medication options available. And because it’s required we went over epidurals and medications available should I change my mind. Then, I was checked for dilation, and the Pitocin was started. Everyone kept telling me that this would go by fast because I was already dilated to 6 cm. From that point, we just had to wait for the contractions to start.

Over the next few hours, I requested a birthing ball and spoke to the nurse about different delivery positions. We discussed the availability of a squat bar, getting on all fours, and even sitting upright. Thankfully, my doctor was open to whatever I felt comfortable doing. During this time my mom arrived. My father-in-law and my daughter came as well. The contractions were mild, and I rolled through them on the birthing ball. By 11 AM they broke my water.

The contractions remained mild, but it was about 1 PM when the nurse came in with concerns about my son’s heart rate and my lack of progression. She checked the monitor and confirmed that with every contraction I had, my baby’s heart rate would drop. She checked me and then stated that she felt the cord was wrapped around his neck. So, she started having me labor in different positions. Switching every 20 minutes. If this didn’t help or resolve the issue then we’d have to discuss other options...

Gratitude Journal // Eleven - One -Twenty Four

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for to see all of your blessings. Though, I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I take things for granted. I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

 

Cloudy days: We’ve had two days of cloudy skies this week. Then one morning we woke up to thunder and rain. And on another we had some drizzle for a few hours. I absolutely love when cold fronts blow in and I’m happy we’ve gotten some nice weather this week. It's much appreciated.

Dresses: They seem to be the only things that fit me. So, I’m grateful to have a lot of them in my closet right now. I was never a big fan of dresses before, but these days I’ll take anything comfortable and breathable.

Extended warranty: Recently, I had to take my vehicle to the shop due to an electrical issue. I know, I just got it. Thankfully, we purchased the extended warranty so we weren’t out a lot to get the issue fixed. After 6- days, she was finally ready to pick up. And let me just say, there’s something that feels so right about getting to drive your own vehicle again.

Chocolate cake: I NEED to cut back on my sugar intake, but it is so hard when all I crave is random food and chocolate. Recently, a co-worker made me German Chocolate Brownies, and a week later a lovely chocolate cake. Of course, I have shared with others. But in all honesty, if I had allowed myself, I could have eaten both of those all by myself.

Nature Sounds: So, my normal at the moment is getting awful, inconsistent sleep. And while I enjoy ASMR videos before bed, lately I’ve been more into Pink (or brown & green) Noise and Nature Sounds. I search on YouTube for one I like and flip my phone over on the window seal for the night. While I don’t stay asleep the entire night, these help me to get some short deep rest. And they help me to fall back asleep faster after I’ve woken up. It’s wreaked havoc on my “screentime” numbers, but sometimes you gotta go what you gotta do.

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? How was your Halloween? Are you in an area that’s been getting cooler temps, or snow? Or are you like us in Texas and experiencing a lot of heat? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope you have a wonderful night! Adios!

“Spend time with those who value you.” // Unknown 

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Gratitude Journal // Seven - Nine - Twenty Four

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for to see all of your blessings. Though I admit that sometimes I take things for granted, I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

A Second Manager: I now have two “bosses” that I report to and serve as Executive Assistant to both. And one of those managers acknowledges hard work. He pays attention to his direct reports. And recently, when he notices people have come in early or worked through lunch he lets us go home early. He believes that if our work is being completed, and we are showing initiative then we should also be rewarded. This can mean getting to work from home, coming in later, or leaving early. All while still getting paid. So, yea, I’m grateful that he’s here. 

 

Random Rainstorms: Yesterday, we had some random rainstorms throughout the day. It was a day that started with sunshine, moved to cloudy, turned dark, and then poured. That cycle repeated two more times. The temperature dropped to the low 80’s and there was a cool breeze for the majority of the day. It was perfection. And at the end, we were gifted with a rainbow.

 

Early Morning Runs: I run 2-3 times a week right now. And most of those take place in the early morning. When I set out  for these runs the sky is painted in orange, pink, purple, and bright blue. And it just helps get my day started in a positive way. I get a few miles in, watch the sunrise, and feel better.

 

Fudge Rounds: Little Debbie Fudge Rounds have a death grip on me right now. I know, I know. They’re terrible for me. But when I get that chocolate craving that I just can’t shake, I end up reaching for one of these. Sometimes two. And they hit the spot every time.

 

The God Minute Podcast: Recently, I started experiencing more stress and mood swings in my day-to-day. So, a few weeks ago I decided that it was time to shift my focus. I needed to start my day with prayer, reflection, and some time to recharge my battery before heading out for the day. The God Minute podcast has been a great way for me to focus my energy on daily prayer, and it’s helped shift my mindset every morning. It's usually about 10- 15 minutes long, and for me it's like being able to attend a daily mass. 

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? How has summer been going for you and your family? Are you in an area that’s been getting cooler temps or experiencing a lot of heat? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope you have a wonderful night! Adios!

“He came and took her by the hand, and the little girl arose.” // Matthew 9:25 

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Gratitude Journal // Five - Three - Twenty Four

Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for to see all of your blessings. Though I admit that sometimes I take things for granted, I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

Cloudy Skies: While I enjoy the sunshine, I’m more of a stormy weather kind of girl. I enjoy cloudy days and a cool breeze. I enjoy thunderstorms and the smell of rain. Our area gets a handful of rainstorms and cloudy weather each year, but we’re getting a lot more this Spring than we normally do. You know, April showers and all. It has been so pleasant and even more enjoyable.

 

Consistent Sleep: Lately I’ve been averaging about 7 hours and 21 minutes of sleep each night. At least, that’s according to my Apple watch. This is down from the six-month average, but it’s to be expected with this season of life. Still, there was a time when I only slept about 6 hours and those were rough times. So, I’m grateful for anything over 7 hours. The goal is to hit 8 hours again this summer. School is about to be out for summer meaning my schedule won't be so packed. But we'll see. 

 

My vehicle: Two years ago, I purchased a used Ford Edge. We needed some extra room that my Equinox was no longer providing, and it was just time. Unfortunately, the Edge was not the vehicle I wanted, but it’s the one I could afford. It was brown, instead of black as it had been advertised too. However, I was tired of looking and going back and forth so I just made the decision and got it. The price was decent and it had 3 out of the 4 features I was looking for. Since then, I have spent a lot of time talking down on it. It’s ugly. It had a good amount of miles on it already. And one of the doors started making this rattling sound right after the warranty went out. Because that’s how it works right? Still, I’m grateful for it. It’s a safe vehicle. Everything works on it. And it gets us where we need to go. So, I’m doing my best to look at the bright side of it all.

 

Answered Prayers: I have this long list of things I pray for. And then there are people I pray for too. And while I know that unanswered prayers are answers of their own, it’s pretty exciting when something you’ve taken to the Lord comes to fruition. Today, as I’m counting my blessings I want to give thanks for all of the prayers that have been answered. Those from the past, present, and future. I truly am grateful for all I’ve been given and all that I have not.

 

Good Health (for now): Recently, I was told I needed to press pause on running. And while there was a good reason for it, I felt so overwhelmed with anxiety because of it. A week and a half later I was given the green light to resume running and instantly felt much better. Had it not been for my good health, the outcome could have been very different. So, today, I’m giving thanks for my health. While I know things can drastically change from one day to the next, I’m doing well at the moment. I’m able to run. And my little scare turned out to be something minor.

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? Are you ready for summer? Are your kids? Do you have any vacation or staycation plans? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope everyone has a great weekend! Adios!

“Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” // Mother Teresa 

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Gratitude Journal // Three - One - Twenty Four

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for to see all of your blessings. Though I admit that sometimes I find myself taking things for granted, I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

  

Lunch w/Friends: I’ve been making it a point to have lunch with work friends at least once a month. It’s a way to get out of the office, and just talk about how things are going on campus. It also gets me, a highly introverted person, out of my comfort zone. This year, I've wanted to put more time/effort into my friendships too. Scheduling a lunch once a month is a great way for us to come together and nurture those friendships. 

Running: I spent a good amount of January and February sick. Which meant I missed about 4 weeks of running. And nothing makes you more grateful to be able to run than NOT being able to run for a while. Today, I’m super grateful for my body’s ability to keep moving. To keep running. Not only does it help me physically, but also mentally.

Ice Cream: We disregarded our dietary restrictions a few times last month. Granted, we were upfront about when/why we would be disregarding it - birthdays and events with friends. One of my treats was a DQ Choco Brownie Blizzard, and it was amazing! My stomach hurt for several days afterward, but it was WORTH every bit of that pain.

My Planner: While I’m doing my best to approach life with the idea of simple/slow living, I love my planner. It’s not as jam-packed as it used to be, thankfully, but it holds the essentials and allows me to jot things down that need my attention. It also helps me refocus on prayer, and journal a bit at the beginning of every month. I only use it at work and make a note to not schedule things outside of working hours UNLESS absolutely necessary. Anyway, I have this planner, and it’s my third year with it. I love it.

My Home: I look at my house, and I see so many things wrong with it. The siding is terrible. The windows are old and single-pane, which means our electricity bill is never under $250/month (and that’s during the winter). There are so many nooks and cracks that let bugs in too. It’s small and we don’t have a lot of room. The interior needs a lot of work & could use some paint. We constantly have ONE issue after another (plumbing, water, things breaking, electrical issues, septic problems, etc). BUT it’s our home. It’s a roof over our heads. It’s the place where we can live with affordable rent - which is not an easy thing to find these days. It has running water, electricity, beds, and a place for our things. And I am so GRATEFUL to have it. While one day I hope to have something a bit more, our home is more than enough right now. And for that, I’m blessed.

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? Will you be taking some time off during spring break? Any vacation or staycation plans? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope everyone has a great weekend! Adios!

“Will you loosen your grip on all that was “supposed” to be and look at Me?” // Shalini Blubaugh

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Gratitude Journal // One - Five - Twenty Four

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for to see all of your blessings. Though I admit that sometimes I find myself taking things for granted, I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

Boba Tea: A friend of mine made some homemade Boba tea, and it was delicious! I’ve always liked Boba, but don’t get to have it very often. And even less now with my dietary restrictions. However, now and then I get to have a treat. And Boba tea or coffee is at the top of my list.

Time off: During winter break, I had 10 days off from work (including weekends) and it was marvelous! My house was clean, laundry was done, I was able to fit in some naps, and we had several sleepovers. My heart was happy and full. My home felt cozy and clean, and I enjoyed it being tidy. I felt like I had TIME. Time to enjoy my home, time to get everything done, and time to rest. Truly, I feel blessed.

Waffles: During our Christmas break we were a bit lax with my dietary restrictions. I didn’t overdo it, because my body would definitely let me know that what I was consuming was probably not the best, but one of the things I enjoyed on Christmas day was WAFFLES. My husband made a full breakfast buffet, and it was all so delicious, but the waffles were just magical.

Medicine: Our entire household came down with a pretty bad cold & congestion starting on Tuesday. It has been rough, and I’m still not fully recovered yet. But I’m grateful for medicine and nasal sprays (that work for more than an hour) because they have gotten me through the days/nights. While it’s never fun being sick, I’ve been able to manage this go around. This means I’ve been able to stay on top of everything that needs to be done, care for my family, and continue to work.

Sleep: Thanks to the break, and oddly - being sick, I’ve been getting PLENTY of sleep. Whether it’s due to melatonin or my body just feeling tired, my bedtimes have been pretty early. I’ve also taken a little break from running due to all of the congestion so my afternoons have left me with a lot of downtime. The plan is to take it easy over the weekend, rest up, and then start everything fresh next week - hopefully feeling better.

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? Do you have any fun things planned for January? Any goals or plans for the new year? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope everyone has a charming weekend! Adios!

“My soul rests in God alone, from whom comes my salvation. God alone is my rock and salvation, my fortress; I shall never fall.” // Psalm 62:2-3 

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Gratitude Journal // Eleven - Three - Twenty Three

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for to see all of your blessings. Though I admit that sometimes I find myself taking things for granted, I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

Freeze Warning: This week, we had a freeze warning. It lasted from Sunday to Wednesday morning. Temperatures dropped down to 30 degrees and we had rain all day Sunday. I never thought I would say that I enjoyed the freezing temps, but it was wonderful! We bundled up, made sure our heaters were in working order, moved plants, and got the animals prepped. I called it Texas’s “pre-game” before winter actually comes through. And now, I’m ready for it!

Chocolate Cake: On my birthday, I ate cake. It was amazing! It was everything that I had dreamed it would be and more. The aftermath wasn’t the greatest, but I will happily take that pain over and over again for some chocolate cake. It's safe to say that this is my weakness when it comes to junk food.

ASMR: I have been listening to ASMR for a long time now. I had experienced it since I was a child, but I learned of the actual term for it 10 years ago. That’s when I started to listen to/watch ASMR videos. It helped with my anxiety, served as a form of stress relief, and allowed me to fall asleep more quickly. I go through phases of which artists I watch, and I’ve currently been enjoying ASMR Twix and esteASMR - can you guess why?

Little Goats: I love my little goats. Donkey and Gus Gus are THE best! They are low maintenance and cause ZERO trouble. While I used to be a “dog person” many moons ago, after the last “puppy” I announced that we would not get another dog once ours all passed away. No worries, we still have a ways to go before that happens. Anyway, instead of a dog or cat I want one or two more goats. They’re just super easy to handle, very chill, and don’t require a lot of attention. And that’s all I want out of an animal these days.

Work Friends: At the beginning of October there was a “New Employee Reception” that I attended at our university. It was to welcome any new faculty/staff that had started within the past 9 months. While there were a few people I knew who attended, the majority were strangers to me. But I walked away from that event with two new acquaintances and future lunch plans. We’re hoping to set up regular lunches on campus to get to know each other better and to provide support for one another. They are both new to this area, new to Texas, and are in completely different career fields from me. However, just like me, they were seeking work friendships. So, I’m grateful for their willingness to get to know me. Here's hoping for the best! 

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? Do you have any fun things planned for November? Thanksgiving? Do you live somewhere that sees the changing seasons or does it just go from one extreme to another? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope everyone has a really lovely weekend! Adios!

“It’s okay if growth means slowing down this season.” // Dhiman 

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Gratitude Journal // Ten - Nine - Twenty Three

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for to see all of your blessings. Though I admit that sometimes I find myself taking things for granted, I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

Fall: Temperatures have lowered. Mornings are crisp and cool. We’ve had some rain in our area, which was much needed. The leaves are turning orange, yellow, and brown. And the insects are slowly but surely, going away! Y’all, when I say the bugs were a nightmare this year…that’s an understatement. Anyway, where once I was all about summer, in my old age, Fall has quickly become my favorite season.

Better health: I have been asked to stick with my recent dietary changes for another 8 weeks - 16 weeks total. If you know how much I love chocolate, you know that was a brutal blow. But here we are, week 9. That said, I have lost weight, my brain fog is pretty much gone, and I’ve been waking up around 5 a.m. every morning like clockwork. I was able to reintroduce some dairy, though I’m sure that will be removed again as I’m almost positive that I am lactose intolerant. Still, I’m grateful for better health, and getting answers.

Sugar-Free Alternatives: If you are ever in need of some tasty sugar-free alternatives, check out Primal Kitchen. Their dressing/condiments/sauces have been life savers as I make better eating choices and work on my relationship with food. I love BBQ sauce, ranch dressing, and ketchup. I’ve tried a lot of different alternatives out there but they never really tasted quite right. Then I found PK, and so far, everything I have purchased from them is super close to the original stuff. They are a tad pricey, but it’s made me not miss the “real” stuff so much. A big THANK YOU goes out to the creators of their products because they do a good job.

Slow Days: I thought once I graduated I would have more of these. But when your daughter gets older and starts participating in more school functions - it’s not always the case. So, when we do get slow days, I try to revel in them. They’re probably the days I look forward to the most. They’re slow, late starts. Drinking my coffee smoothie on the back porch. Lounging in PJs all day. Being able to take naps if I want. And just taking the time to enjoy my home space.

My Family: I am blessed to have the family that I do. Sometimes they’re annoying. A little old-fashioned. We don’t always see eye-to-eye. BUT y’all, we love each other. We support each other. I know that I’m fortunate enough to have grown up with two parents who really cared about me and did the best that they could. It’s because of them that family has always been super important to me. And while I may have been difficult, hard to get along with, and damn set on carving my own path - not once did I ever feel like I wasn’t loved by my family. Like I wasn’t supported. I’m truly grateful to have the family that I do. And even more fortunate that Emery gets to experience it as well.

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? What are your plans for October? Are you in a place that has already gotten snow this year? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope everyone has a really lovely week! Adios!

“You are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.” // Rachel Hollis 

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Gratitude Journal // Nine - Four - Twenty Three

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for in order to see all of your blessings. Though, I admit that sometimes I find myself taking things for granted, I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

My fiance: We bicker a lot. It often feels like we’re the old married couple that just has to find something to argue about. I complain about everything under the sun too. He gets annoyed with me for not keeping some of those complaints to myself. But then we laugh, or hug, and say, “I love you.” We move on. And that is truly a gift. I’m blessed to have a partner that stays. One that sees ALL of my faults and chooses to love me anyway.

Homemade Dressing: I’ve had to make some health changes - a post on that is coming soon. But one of the most “magical” things that has come out of it is a homemade dressing that I pour on everything. It consists of red wine vinegar, avocado & olive oil, salt, and lime juice (fresh is best, but do what you gotta). This goes on my salads, my veggie snacks, and my rice bowls. I’ve had to play around with the ratios - Corey prefers more oil while I prefer more vinegar. But the result is just *chef’s kiss*.

Seeeesters: If you’ve been here for a while you’ve probably heard me mention Kim and Olivia. Or as we call ourselves, Seeeesters. While they may not be my biological sisters they have been in my life for over 20 years. Kim is also my sister-in-law. Anyway, they have been with me through ALL of the ups and downs. Since we are all scattered, we keep in touch as best as we can. We’ve been learning more about our faith together, and do our best to visit as often as possible. However, life happens. Still, I’m so thankful to be able to walk through this life with them by my side.

My Job: Y’all, there was a moment when I wanted to return to my previous place of employment. I even reached out to my old boss, asking to be notified if any openings came up. At the time, I had been misled and I wasn’t comfortable with handling what was being asked - long term. The job was the issue, not the people. However, as I now know, God was just needing me to be patient. I was put in that original position to get the right person back in the office to help. And once I accomplished that, in April of this year, God opened a door for me. It was my dream job! And it’s come with so much grace, training, and healthy work friendships—the complete opposite of what I had before.

Cool Weather: I don’t know if you have heard but Texas has been hot this summer. Electricity bill being over $350 a month, type of hot. The trees lost their leaves back in June. Our yard is a field of yellow, crunchy, grass. The insects have been terrible. TERRIBLE. And there were times when we couldn’t take enough clothes off - out of respect for others obviously. So, last week, when we woke up TWICE to temps being in the 60’s we all rejoiced. There was a breeze and the air had a tinge of crispness. A brief reminder that fall was coming. Before too long Halloween will be here and then Christmas! While I’m not one to rush, I am excited about cooler weather.

And that wraps up my gratitude post. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? What are you excited for this month? How do you make sure to stay grounded? And how’s the beginning of fall going? Has the weather changed much where you are? Have the leaves started to fall from the trees? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope everyone has had a happy and safe Labor Day weekend! Adios!

“He will again have compassion upon us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot” // Micah 7:19 

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Gratitude Journal // Nine - Twenty Seven - Twenty One

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, I let the bad in my day get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my own little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. I find myself taking things for granted over and over again. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

• Instructors: Though my classes are no longer “HyFlex” the majority of the instructors have gone ahead with giving their students the option of attending via Zoom. While I do prefer to attend classes face-to-face, I spend about 30-40 minutes on a round-trip commute four days out of the week. So, being able to sit in on a class over Zoom has helped me stay within the 36-38 hour work window. And while that’s still a big pay cut each week that I’m taking because of classes, I know it could be a lot worse. So, I’m grateful to my instructors for doing this. 

• Lavender Lattes: I have been in love with these ever since my sister-in-law bought me one at Jo’s in Mount Pleasant. Sadly, no one close by made them. Then, my brother and sister-in-law moved and there was no more Jo’s close by when we went to visit. And well, that was a bummer. But, recently, TWO local coffee shops added it to their menus! Can you believe it? And while I normally opt for cold coffee all the way into November, these lattes are best served hot. So, every Friday morning I treat myself to a hot lavender latte and it’s just the best. Usually makes my day and it puts me in a good mood. If you ever get a chance to try one, do it!  

• River: Though we don’t get to see him all of the time, we do get to see him about 2-3x a month. And this little dude is just one of the cutest. He’s not always so sure about us at first, because again, we aren’t in his daily life. But he loves his big sister! Once he realizes who she is that’s who he wants to carry him around. And the love runs both ways for sure. Em is always excited when she gets to see him and she’s happy that they get to be in each other’s lives. Now, even though the visits are short, Em makes sure to get plenty of one on one time with him. She even volunteers to change a diaper and feed him. And then she jumps at the chance to get him dressed for the day, comb his hair, or play little games with him. After every visit she lets me know that she's happy we were able to see him. 

• ASMR: I’ve considered doing an entire post dedicated to ASMR, but I’m still on the fence. While it has gotten really popular, I’d like to think of myself as an OG ASMR listener. I discovered it back in 2014 when I read this article on Yahoo. So, we’re going on 8 years of listening. And back then there weren’t a lot of artists creating it. However, it has been such a gift to me. And to Emery too, as she started listening to it a few years ago as well. It’s gotten me through some sleepless nights, overwhelming times, study sessions, and it’s helped me focus at work. I’ve listened to it while going through my depression season, and it’s also been there during some anxiety attacks. It helps me so much, and I'm glad that I found it all those years ago. 

• Christina: One of my sisters-in-law. We’ve been spending a bit more time together recently; each of us is on our own health journey. And she’s always up for early morning weekend workouts. Walks in the park. Or down to accompany me on long drives with the kids. She’s a pretty great listener too. And when things were rocky with that side of the family after my divorce, she’s one of the ones who stuck with me. She never made me feel like I wasn’t family. She never had me questioning where we stood. And she always had my back. I’m thankful for her friendship. Always. 

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? And how’s the beginning of fall going? Has the weather changed much where you are? Have the leaves started to fall from the trees? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope everyone has a really lovely week! Adios!

“With age-old love I have loved you; so I have kept my mercy toward you.” // Jeremiah 31:3 

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Gratitude Journal // Seven - Thirty - Twenty One

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, I let the bad in my day get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my own little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. I find myself taking things for granted over and over again. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

• My Nephew: With his cute little voice and those little cheeks. “TIA!!” He calls me. We share a love of chocolate and I will gladly give him some when we see each other. You’re welcome, Kim. He’s constantly asking to see Em and honestly, he makes her feel like a big sister when he’s around - complete with the title. While she does have a half-brother, we don’t get to see him as often. So, her little cousin helps make her feel like she’s living up to that big sister role in some way.

• CHIPS: After years and years of paying for all of the medical and dental expenses for my daughter out of pocket, and taking on these huge ER bills from the few times we had to take her in, I made the decision to seek out assistance. Government assistance. Something I had always told myself that I would never do. Here in Texas when you don’t qualify for Children’s Medicaid then you have the option to try getting CHIPS. And well it’s no secret that my income, while a decent one for my job and this area, it doesn’t leave me with enough money to afford a family health insurance plan. Add school into the mix and well, my budget is pretty tight. The lowest we found at the time was $380/month with a very high deductible, and I'm sure it's gone up since then. So, I finally gave in and applied. And we barely made the cut. Now, this is not long-term assistance for us, and I don’t want it to be. But I am so grateful for it because we really needed it. And I know there's some judgment that gets thrown around about people who use government assistance, but let me just say this, “If you really need it. USE IT. That is what it’s there for and don’t let anyone make you feel less than just because of it.”

• Sweet Tea: My favorite “go-to” drink. One that I had to cut back on, significantly. Which makes me sad, but also, I get it. Texas tends to make their sweet tea - extra sweet. So, it wasn’t helping with my diet or the more recent lifestyle changes I’ve been in the process of making. But man, when I do go in for a full sweet tea rather than a water or half & half. Ooooh, it’s delicious! And if I could drink it forever, I would.

• Snow cones: One of the best things about summer. With the heat that we get and the humidity too. There are some days when it’s almost unbearable. The heat index gets well into the triple digits. And there’s nothing quite like treating yourself to a giant snow cone at the end of a really scorching day. I actually prefer it over ice cream. Personally, blue coconut is my favorite and I tend to stick with that. But occasionally I’ll branch out. Nothing too crazy though. While we’ve also cut back on these, mainly because we don’t have a stand right down the road, it’s definitely one of my favorite treats to get. And trust me when I say that I will definitely make that 15-minute drive back into town on those days when I’m really craving one.

• Trisha: She has been in our lives for over about a year and a half now. We started out with family sessions but at the beginning of summer, we incorporated couples sessions as well. And she’s just been wonderful! Emery really opens up to her, and Trisha has been a huge help when it comes to helping Emery work through her anxiety. As for the couple sessions, those are relatively new, but she does a great job in helping me see things from a different point of view. Sadly, we will only have her for one more session in two weeks. She recently accepted a job offer, one closer to home, and while we are so sad to see her go - we are also very happy for her! Emery shed plenty of tears at our last session, but because they’re just so fond of each other - Trisha offered to do once-a-month virtual check-ins with Emery at no cost to us. I mean, how amazing is that? I'm really thankful to God for putting her in our lives.

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? And how’s the end of summer going? Any last-minute plans before the kids head back to school? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope everyone has a really lovely weekend! Adios!

“We are what we believe we are.”  // C.S. Lewis 

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Gratitude Journal // Three - Nine - Twenty One

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, I let the bad in my day get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my own little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. I find myself taking things for granted over and over again. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

• Tax Return: Since I started school, finances have been really tight. Like, penny-pinching. As soon as I received my W-2 I was able to file my taxes right away. Then my return was deposited into my bank about two weeks later. And it arrived just in time. My car is needing new tires, windshield wipers, and a tune-up. Plus the check engine light kicked on due to a sensor so that will have to be fixed as well. Now with the extra money, I’ll be able to get all of this done!

• N & B: There are two people who have helped me with my math homework and study reviews. Without them, I wouldn’t be passing my math class right now. Seriously. So, I am really grateful that they take time out of their day or weekend to help me out. Whether it's going over my packets or having a FaceTime session. So, for them, I am grateful. 

• SmartHER News: It’s been about four months since I’ve navigated to “regular” news sites for information on anything. Obviously, there was the major news of Kanye and Kim getting a divorce so I did hit up Yahoo to read an article about it. I really wish I hadn’t, because I don’t really care about the Kardashian’s. However, I was kind of curious as to what the “final straw” was for those two crazy kids. Weird, I know. Anywho, on the occasion that I do decide to read up on what’s been going on in the world, Jenna at SmartHer News is actually really great! You can find her on YouTube, Instagram, and on her website. She stays current, and for the most part, she’s unbiased. I say most, because sometimes in political areas you can kind of make out what “side” she’s personally on, but she still gives you the facts. Anyway, she provides news in a very clear manner which is something that I really like. 

• Spring: Clear skies and warmer temperatures. That’s my jam. Give me mid 60’s to low 70’s any day and I am stoked! Being able to open the front door and raise the windows up to let the fresh air in is also something I look forward to in the Spring. As much as I enjoyed the cold, except for that one time, I think Spring is my favorite season. PLUS, Daylight Savings Time kicks in too! And oh how I love that extra bit of sunshine in the day. I feel a spring cleaning session coming on too. Yup. I’m ready for it. I’M HERE FOR IT. Let’s go mother nature.

• Nice Coworkers: Sometimes you just need people in the workplace who don’t completely suck. You know? Makes your day more enjoyable. Thankfully, I have some of those people. Now, if only I could convince my boss to switch over to a four-day workweek. That would be the cherry on top! But alas, if that's not going to happen, at least my coworkers don't make me feel all stabby. 

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? And what are your plans for this Spring? Until the next post, I hope everyone has a really lovely week! Adios!

“Children, let us love not in word or speech but in deed and truth.” 

 // 1 John 3:18. 

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Gratitude Journal // Twelve - Seventeen - Twenty

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, I let the bad in my day get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my own little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. I find myself taking things for granted over and over again. And that’s just not how I want to be anymore. So, right now, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things. 

• Work Bonus: Since changing job titles, and I’m assuming COVID-related issues, this year my bonus was significantly less than what it had been last year. And yet, still more than what I thought it would be. So, I’m really grateful for it. It covered all of the Christmas presents I wanted to get my family, one of my bills, and left over a bit to put into savings. I’m blessed. 

• My Abuela: She calls about twice a week to check in on us. One of the drawbacks of not living three miles away from my family is that I don’t get to see them every day the way I used to. This means that my time with my Abuela is very limited. And I definitely need to make sure that I start putting in an effort to call and check on her too. 

• Hallmark Channel(s): Yes, their movies are cheesy. Yes, every character is OVERLY nice. Yes, they do recycle stories. Yes, it’s basically a lot of the same actors. But you know what? I love them. I love that they are family-friendly. I love that each story has a happy ending. And I love that the biggest dilemma usually revolves around something not so complicated. Where will they get the perfect Christmas tree for the town's light festival?? Then, for the Christmas movies, there’s also a lot of snow, beautiful homes, and plenty of coffee. These movies serve as my break from all of the other stuff going on in the real world and I love them. 

• K: My partner’s mom has been wonderful. She helps with picking the little up from school every day. Always has them outside exploring. She treats Em like her granddaughter and even asks to be invited when Em has a performance. She’s welcomed us into her home since day one and she’s always up for helping whenever she can. 

• Our fireplace: I’ve always wanted to have a fireplace. I’ve wanted to decorate a mantle. I’ve wanted to have a fire going while drinking hot chocolate, cozied up on the couch with my family. And this year, I’ve been able to do just that. Now, the fireplace is a pain in the rear in regards to upkeep - which now I know. But there’s something really peaceful about hearing the logs crackle when the house is quiet at night. I’m really enjoying it on those cold nights. 

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? And how will you be celebrating this Christmas season? I know it's been a minute since I've posted anything. Life at the end of the year gets pretty busy though. I hope every one of you is doing well though. Until the next post, I hope you have a wonderful day! Bye! 

“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.” - Unknown 

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Gratitude Journal // Eleven - Ten - Twenty

Sometimes, I let the bad in my day get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my own little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. I find myself taking things for granted over and over again. And that’s just not how I want to be anymore. So, right now, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things. 

• Writing: My outlet. Whether I suck at it or not. I’m happy to have some kind of creative expression that I’m able to release. Either on here, for y’all to read, or in the stacks of journals on my shelves. Writing is one of the things that I constantly come back to, even when I have months or years of dry spells. And I’m thankful to have a way of getting all of that word vomit out.

• Scented Candles: I change our house scent by the season. And based on the room. I have no idea where I got this or why I even started it. Some people even think I’m a little crazy for it. But I love doing this! And I can spend hours in the candle & wax section. This time of year, all of the more earthy and warming scents are coming out and they're probably some of my favorites! 

• Almond Milk Creamer: Because intermittent fasting is hard. Because diets are hard. And a low sugar, low calorie, creamer helps. Especially on the two to three cup days. 

• Daily Devotionals: Every morning, as I’m getting my desk ready for the day, I usually listen to or read a daily devotional. I don’t always relate to them. Sometimes I get a little lost in what’s trying to be said. But, having these little reflections before starting my day has helped me to find a better headspace. Happier thoughts; lighter attitude. 

• Our Family Counselor: Trisha is wonderful! I can’t stress that enough. Whether we are having a light session or an intense one, she always pulls me aside at the end to tell me, “You’re doing a great job, Mom.” And sometimes, it’s nice to hear that said out loud. Because being everything to everyone else while also having to be an adult can be hard sometimes. And we all need a little squeeze or small hug to let us know that we aren’t completely messing things up. So, if someone hasn’t told you this lately: Hey! You’re doing a GREAT job! 

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? And how will you be giving thanks this upcoming season? Until the next post, I hope everyone has a really lovely week! Adios! 

“I will give you rest.” - Matthew 11:28 

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Gratitude Journal // Ten - Sixteen - Twenty

Sometimes, I let the bad in my day get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my own little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. I find myself taking things for granted over and over again. And that’s just not how I want to be anymore. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things. 

• Morning coffee: Whether it’s hot or cold, I love coffee. I mean, really love coffee. There’s also something comforting about waking up and fixing our morning cups. Handing over his mug with a kiss and a, “Have a good day, babe!” But then, when I get that first sip, that’s when I feel like things are in order. Doesn't matter how chaotic or slow the day has started. It’s like those old Folgers commercials where everyone is smelling the coffee and smiling from ear to ear. Yea, that’s me. My day doesn’t officially start until I’ve had my cup.  

• My seeeester: Kim is a Godsend. We’re so different in pretty much ALL of the ways. But she’s someone I couldn’t imagine ever being without. She doesn’t always get me, but she kind of does at the same time. I really wish there was a better way of describing that. So, I guess, “Thanks for marrying someone so great, little brother!” She’s truly helped me in more ways than I can count. 

• Daily Mass: Whenever I have a day off during the week I usually attend daily mass in the mornings. And this is just a really great way to start my day. There’s something really wonderful about sitting in the pews at church and hearing the readings in person. And, to be honest, I usually feel “off” when I don’t get to go. 

• My bed: I like sleep. And this month we’ve spent a lot of nights out of town for weddings and family visits. Even this weekend, we’ll be out of town. And there are very few other things more satisfying than returning home and climbing into your own bed. The familiar sheets, pillows, and blankets. Oooh man. Yea, that’s the good stuff right there. 

• Ribeye Steak: Since being in a relationship I’ve had more ribeye steak in the past 10 months than I’ve had in my entire life. And I don’t hate it. Since my partner can cook - boy can he cook- I take full advantage of his skills. This means I’m usually spoiled with a ribeye meal once a week. *YUUUUMMMM* I really hope that this perk never goes away! 

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? Until the next post, I hope everyone has a really lovely week! Adios! 

“You’re growing even when you’re not thinking about it”. - MHN 

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Gratitude Journal // Nine - Eight - Twenty

Sometimes, I let the bad in my day get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my own little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the good in my life. I find myself taking things for granted over and over again. And that’s just not how I want to be anymore. So, I’ve decided to start this series called “Gratitude Journal”. The concept is pretty basic. Each month, I will come up with a list of five different things that I feel grateful for in my life. They can be anything and everything, in no particular order. There’s a possibility of repeats happening so I apologize in advance. I’ll end each post with a quote, affirmation, or bible verse at the end. The point of this series is to take a break from all of the noise and to look at all of the good that’s happening. I may elaborate a bit on each thing, but I’m not entirely sure yet. This is trial & error, y'all. I hope that in writing these lists out I’ll be able to focus more on the good in life. And maybe you’ll read something that you can relate to as well? Or you may just think I’m a weirdo. Who knows? Whatever the outcome, I’m hoping to keep these going for a long time. Here’s to the first entry! 

• My daughter: For her good health after we were informed that a classmate had tested positive for COVID-19. Her classmate is doing well. Also, for her laughter which I’ve been hearing more of lately.

• Day napping: This happened once last week, and it was glooooorious! One hour of uninterrupted sleep on my day off and I felt so great afterward. If you get a chance to do this, do it. Makes the day so much nicer. 

• Homemade fudge: My partner, who I realize I should probably start addressing by something else on here, surprised me with some homemade fudge from one of his favorite shop's several towns over.

• Planners: They keep me organized. And when the rest of my life feels very chaotic, I like having a marginal sense of structure. I’ve been using this brand which is awesome but I’m hoping to buy this one for next year.

• The smell of rain: It’s been hot this summer. I’m talking over a hundred degrees with a heat index of 110+ for several days in a row. Thankfully, some rain finally made its way to us. And we are getting a cold front this week! Can you say sweater weather?!

And that wraps up my first gratitude post. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivty back into your day if it's been a bad one? Until the next post, I hope everyone has a realy lovely, short, week! Adios! 

"When you pass through waters, I will be with you; through rivers, you shall not be swept away."

 - Isaiah 43:2

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