It's Starting...

Since we moved into town we've been pretty preoccupied with getting settled and figuring out the best routine that works for us. I'm still in the process of putting left over stuff in storage and up-cycling some furniture that we desperately need in order to keep our house organized. Our clothes currently reside in separate laundry baskets. So even though we've seen most of our surrounding neighbors we haven't really gotten to know them. And I won't lie, I really haven't put in the effort to get to know them either. How un-neighborly of me I know. But recently, we've had a little boy come over every afternoon to ask for Emery. And this has just made me all...frazzled?

I know that Emery making friends is a good thing. I also know that I don't want to be a "helicopter parent" because I believe that's just hurting your kids more in the long run. But, I can't believe we're already getting to that stage. You know the one where your kid(s) asking you constantly "Can I go out and play with *insert other kids name here*?" rather than just chill at home with you. I get that it's bound to happen, but c'mon she's FOUR! I guess I assumed that we still had at least another year before "friends" would be a huge deal. Alas, we've been getting a lot of: "Mom can **** come over and watch a movie?" or "Mom can I go and jump on the trampoline with ****?" And if we say no, there is A LOT of pouting being done. Sometimes, some huffing and on occasion some crying.

Unfortunately, because of this recent development my fears and paranoia have hit an all time high. We live in a small town, but even this small town has it's "rough" side. In fact, it has two. And can you guess where our neighborhood is? Yup, about three blocks away from one of them. So, anytime Emery is outside either my husband or I have to be watching her at all times. This is probably considered "helicopter parenting", but again I will repeat, she is FOUR. Apparently, this is strange for the little boy who's always wanting her to go outside and play. He's even vocalized the "weirdness" of us "always watching" and not letting her play outside by herself. The poor kid has no idea that by making such statements, it only made things a lot worse. 

You see, this little dude is seven years old. SEVEN. Now, I know that not everyone out there are a bunch of perverts but honestly you never know. I have no idea what his family life is like or what he's allowed to watch. Or what he's not but does anyway. I've met his parents once in passing and I try to hold off my judgement of other people because we all parent differently. That said we've been here for almost two months now and we've noticed that the two youngest get left at home ALONE for very long periods of time a lot. Again, not my business.They also have several cookouts throughout the week that consists of many males of various ages, and a lot of liquor and beer. I know that this could all be completely innocent. A bunch of compadres kicking it after a long day at work? I've also considered that my mind could be getting the best of me, but I'm just not willing to allow my daughter to "hang out" or be anywhere near them unsupervised. Ever. 

This kid is persistent though. He comes over EVERY afternoon. And he questions everything too. If we don't allow Emery outside then he wants to know why? And if he can't convince us to let her out then he asks if he can come in and watch TV with us. Since I can't really tell him no, I usually let him in with a curfew of 8:30. So, this had me thinking that maybe he's lonely? Maybe he's just curious? Maybe he's not given attention at home? But then again this little boy isn't all that innocent either. I caught him & his older brother lying on the first day that he came over. We had bought Frozen and some pizza when he came knocking on our door to see if Emery could come out. It was almost 7:30 and the sun was going down so I told him she couldn't. Instead I invited him to join us for the movie and pizza if he okay'd it with his parents first. That little stinker left for 5 minutes, came back, and said his mom was fine with it. About thirty minutes later I witnessed his mother and father pull up. Maybe he called them? Ten minutes later the oldest is running over, knocking on our door looking embarrassed, and telling us that his brother needs to get home. 

I know that they're only kids. I know that Emery's going to make friends, some good and some not so good. I know that this is all part of her growing up. And unless I lock her up in her room (which I may or may not have considered) there really is no avoiding this. In fact, it's probably going to get worse. Eventually she's going to want to hang out away from home. Gees, my heart just jumped at the thought. But this is all new territory for us! My husband and I were discussing what we should do about this kid and we weren't entirely too sure how to go about dealing with him. I mean, can you even deal with a seven year old? Do we just take it day by day? Do we let him know that Emery has rules at home that she can't break? Do we talk with his parents? How do we not come off as insulting when we tell them all interactions between our kids should be supervised? There are sooo many things to considered and think about. And quite frankly it's giving me a migraine.

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Texas, I Do Love You

(music, while you read this post)

I realized that as much as I talk about California I'm kind of making it seem as though I hate Texas. This is not the case though. I love Texas. I'm proud to have been born and raised a Texan. A Tejana, through and through. I have my own pair of cowboy boots that I wear daily. As much as I'd like to become a vegetarian, I love meat too much. Sorry folks, I just can't quit it. "Y'all" is very much a part of my every day vocabulary. Sometimes my sentences are a mix of English and Spanish: "Andale! mija, lets go!" I firmly believe in addressing my elders with a "ma'am" or "sir". And yes, my accent can get pretty thick. When people ask where I'm from, I proudly name Texas as my state. Because, honestly, I feel like my state is the best one to grow up in. I'm truly proud of where I come from. 

I love our flat lands, and rolling hills.I think we have some of the best sunsets and sunrises than anywhere else.  I absolutely love the wide open spaces! I love our gun laws, and big trucks. I really do. I love how we all come together to support each other in the small communities just as well as statewide. I love that we are all pretty friendly. We're always waving at one another, regardless of whether or not we actually know each other. I like that in many places, your neighbor is a good mile away from you. As my brother once said "If I want to pee off the back porch, I can, and no one will ever see!" Ha! I like how our summers get hot and there are Popsicle's being eaten at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I love that it's fully acceptable to have your kids running through the water sprinklers in your front yard in their undies during the summer.  I like that you'll see many of us cooking out on the grill even during the winter. And lets not forget that no one does BBQ like us either. You haven't lived, if you haven't had some good ole Texas BBQ!  

This is also where my family resides. As many of you know I come from a big family, and an even bigger "adopted" family. Anyone who walks through our doors, is instantly considered a member. We have many cook outs, and family dinners year round. We all live so close by that we don't go a whole week without seeing each other. We constantly invite others to join us, and we get to just sit around talking; laughing. We do a lot of things together too. Whether it's going to the grocery store or to the movies. Some of the best times I've had have been sitting in the car taking a "road trip" to shop at Lowe's with my entire family. And when I was first told "it takes a village to raise I child" I was really skeptical of it's meaning. But, now I know the truth of it. My village is my family, and they have helped us out so much! Emery is being introduced to many great things and cultures because of who we surround her with. And even though we may not have the reputation for it there really is a lot of diversity here too. I couldn't be happier about Emery getting the chance to grow among the same places and people that I did.

Texas is and will always be my home. I'm proud to say that it's shaped who I've become. So yes, my heart will always be here with the family and community that raised me. This doesn't mean that I'll always live here. It doesn't mean that I'm any less of a Texan for wanting to go explore other places. Or for wanting to live somewhere else. Some people will never leave their hometowns, and that's okay. Other's do, and that's okay too. But no matter where I go, I will always take Texas with me. It'll be in my words, and my drawl. It'll be in the way I choose to eat my steak with my hands rather than a fork and knife. It'll be in the sweet tea I choose to keep brewed. It'll be in that song I play so often by a little band from Texas that I adore. It'll be in the photographs I place throughout my house of the family I love so much. It'll be in the stories I tell of "back home" with new friends we meet. It'll be in my outlook of the world, and the respect I show to others. Because Texas is and will always be, in me. 

"You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the girl."

Wordless Wednesday

One Day

Emery does this thing where she randomly starts naming things that she wants or wants to do. Sometimes they make sense, sometimes they don't. But I always tell her that she can do WHATEVER she puts her mind to do.

"Mom, I want to grow big so I can be a big girl on skates, but I want to be small like I am now." 

"Mom, I want to go to the moon so I can fix it and then I want to talk to the stars."

"Mom, I want my hair orange like Merida."

"Mom, I want to be a mermaid so I can talk to the fish."

"Mom, I want a skateboard but I want to color it myself and can I get one that has different shapes?"

"Mom, I want to be a witch, okay? A green witch. But no hat, okay?"

"Mom, I want to ride a rainbow."

The list is endless, and she's extremely serious when she's announcing her wants. So today, I've decided that I want to create my own version of this. So, in no particular order, here goes: 

One day, I want to have a career that I'm passionate about.
One day, I want to visit Paris at Christmas.
One day, I want to live by, if not close to, the beach.
One day, I want to have another baby.
One day, I want to volunteer abroad.
One day, I want to finish college.
One day, I want to learn how to surf.
One day, I want to climb a mountain.
One day, I want to be completely debt free.
One day, I want to go skinny dipping.
One day, I want to road trip from one coast to the other.
One day, I want to jump out of a plane.
One day, I want to adopt or foster a child.
One day, I want to swim with dolphins.
One day, I want to see the Egyptian pyramids in person.
One day, I want to learn to speak French.

Now, my list could go on and on too. Most people would say that these things are achievable at this very moment. Realistically though, I know I might not necessarily achieve any of these at all unless I really work for them. For example, I'd love to have more kids, but unless something changes financially, I won't. Or, I'd love to learn how to surf, but unless I live somewhere close to the water I won't ever be able to practice enough to be any good at it. And so on, and so on. These are what I hope for, what I dream about being able to do...one day.

I'm a little ashamed to admit, but I spent a good part of my life thinking that I wouldn't do much with it. I would live in the same town, and work at the same job my entire life. I won't ever go anywhere because I can't afford it so I should just get used to viewing the world through some one else's pictures. I guess I just assumed I should be complacent, and grateful for what I have. And I am! I know just how blessed we are. I know that every day is a gift, and we shouldn't waste it by being unhappy with what we have. But I also know that wanting things can be a good thing. Having hopes, dreams, aspirations....those can be the start of something truly spectacular! 

I think my aversion to wanting more, was because it meant I would have to really try for it. Nothing in life is handed to us, we have to go out and get it. Sometimes, we also have to fail. And that right there, can be a scary thing. Inconsistency, uncertainty, unpredictability. Those words alone make me nervous. Slowly, I'm learning to be okay with this though. I'm learning to be okay with failing; with coming up short. But always knowing that I'm trying new things. Different things! I'm wanting to do more with the life that I've been given. I want to know that I'm attempting something in life. No one can say that I didn't go out and leave my print, however tiny it may end up being. 

And this is something I'm deeply passionate about teaching as well as showing my daughter. That being a dreamer is pretty awesome! Wanting to do more with your life is great! Some things we will achieve and others we will fail miserably at. BUT IT'S OKAY! Because even though we failed we still did it. It may not have been our thing but at least there are no regrets. And who knows, maybe it opened up a door to other possibilities we had never even considered. All because we wanted something, one day.

Okay, Now You're Just Being Mean

Today is a lovely day. The sun is out and the weather man is claiming that it'll be about 75 degrees out. The time change kicked in yesterday so now we're getting some extra time to enjoy all of the sunshine. The only things missing at the moment are my best friend Kami, and a beach. Which brings me to the topic of my post today. Feel free to skip this one if you're tired of hearing me talk about the west coast. :)

At the beginning of February Emery mentioned her cousin Ashlynn. She asked if we could get on a plane to go see her. After telling her that we couldn't go she just sighed and crossed her arms. Then on the weekend of Emery's birthday party, I ended up behind a huge truck that was carrying a huge yacht. The truck pulling it had an address on the side which stated that it was from Oceanside Beach, CA. A week later I came out of class and the two cars on either side of me had California license plates. Not even kidding. That following weekend I was headed into town to get some movies, and this truck with a huge "SOCAL" sticker passed me by. On my way home, the same guy passed me AGAIN. Clearly, California has been on the brain for me to be noticing all of these things. So, I get that a lot of these could be chalked up to me seeking them out. Since I miss it so much right now my brain is just noticing anything that has to do with the state. But then last Monday, I received an alert from Travelocity, informing me that they had round-trip tickets to San Diego on sale for their 48 Hour Event. I'm talkin' less than $350 per person round trip here. Unfortunately, I had to pass them up. 

Now, as much as I had hoped that we would be able to plan a visit out there for this summer, it's not looking too likely. So all of these little "signs" are just starting to seem kind of cruel. You hear that, universe? Cut your shit out! And to add salt to the wound, apparently this Flickr group I joined back when I lived in California recently gained a new administrator and they just added a bunch of pictures that of course have to pop up on my feed today. So for your enjoyment and my further torture, behold the place I used to live at and want to return to so badly but can't:

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p.s All of the sources are located below the picture. And these are just a few that showed up on my feed. 

Workin' On My Fitness, Again.

Oh boy, has it been a looong time since I've worked out. On Saturday, our sitter asked if she could take Emery to a birthday party for this other baby that she occasionally looks after. I agreed to let her go, and I found this to be the perfect time to get in a work out. It looked a little something like this:

1. Two mile run

2. Sixty crunches

3. Two 45 sec. planks

4. Sixty leg raises

5. Forty V crunches

6. Sixty squats

7. Thirty lunges per leg (sixty total)

8. Twenty mountain climbers (this is new for me)

For the next two days I was in some pain. It's been a good five months since I've gotten in a good work out. I ran every now and then, but no where close to the distance I was covering before. I kind of feel bad that I've taken so long to get back to it, and even worse that I lost all of that progress. But seriously, it's hard to find time. I know that everyone says YOU have to make time, but for awhile there my days were starting at 5 am and ending at midnight. It was so exhausting, and the last thing I wanted to do was go work out. My body was tired, my mind was tired, and sleep was calling my name 80% of the time. So yea, I slacked off. Hard. But now, I'm trying to establish a routine again.

I had my yearly check up with my doctor, and we established that my anemia is under control as well as those stomach issues I was having. I've been sticking to my medication, and everything looks good. Unfortunately, since we adopted our puppy Draco it's been like having a newborn (only Emery wasn't like this at all so I guess this is payback for never having to go through it). So that tired feeling I keep getting is due to lack of 8 straight hours of sleep. We get up at least three times at night to let him go out, and he also cries A LOT. I'm also guessing my diet and fitness routine have something to do with it too. I've been eating a lot of junk food, take out, and like I stated before my workouts were nonexistent.

So, even though I could barely move after that ONE workout, I realized that I felt better. I was getting that energetic feeling I used to get from before, and I've always been really addicted to it. So I repeated the workout again yesterday. And guess what? Same things happened again! Now, tonight Emery has asked to join me so we won't go as far or as fast, but we'll be out there running. She's also asked to do some yoga tonight. Completely her own suggestion. She saw this DVD I had, and asked if we could do what that lady was doing. So that's the plan for this evening. Slowly but surely we are establishing a routine again! I'm pretty excited about it, and I also have a date with our local gym this weekend. I'll be looking into getting a gym membership again so I can do some weight training. Fingers crossed.

I'm feeling really good about this, y'all. I've missed feeling healthy. And with daylight savings time kicking forward again, it's just in time for me to gain a few more hours of daylight which I could really use. My classes this semester have been pretty laid back so I haven't stressed too much over them. I know I do have other stress in my life at the moment, but doing some type of physical activity before always helped to relieve them so I'm sure it'll help again. Now if only this cold weather would finally go away, things would be pretty dang perfect.

A Night Out

My husband and I hardly ever go out. I know a lot of people would say that we should do it more often because it helps to keep things fresh and interesting. It's also a good way for couples to have some one on one time, especially after they've had kids. Unfortunately for us, we live in a small town. There's really not much to do other than going to the movie theater, bar hoping, or out to eat. And let's just face it, those things get kind of old after awhile. We also live on a very tight budget, so that limits our options even more. In the end we mostly choose to stay at home, or we bring Emery along which turns it into family time. This kind of defeats the purpose of a "date night" though.

Fortunately for us, we were able to have one of our rare nights out last Friday. A friend of my husband's invited us to go watch him play with his former band for their farewell show. Apparently, the members all decided to pursue different projects so they officially decided to part ways. We bought our tickets early, and my mother agreed to watch Emery for that night. We weren't planning on being out all hours of the night, but I packed Emery an overnight bag just in case. We dropped our little munchkin off around 7:30 and made our way out to the bar.

The first thing I realized once I stepped into that place was that I am no longer twenty years old! As I get older, I think the realizations come more frequently. The older crowd stood off towards the back, and on the dance floor while the younger crowd gathered up front. It was weird to see the "line" clearly drawn and I told my husband I felt like we didn't really belong in either section. We were too young to be in the older section and yet too old to be in the younger one. My husband told me I was being silly, so I ended up moving us to the front right along side all of the babies. :-P

Now I'm picky about my country music, but a show is a show. I always like to be at the front, and by the speakers because I love getting to feel that bass running through me. If you don't think country music has bass, think again. We watched the opening band play the last half of their set, walked around and said hello to the people we knew, and then made it back around once the main band took the stage. Once they started to play, you could just tell that this was their last show. The crowd was louder, and more energetic. Everyone was singing at the top of their lungs. It got hot really quickly with all of the bodies pushing up against us, and you could still see a huge line waiting to make it's way in.

We didn't stay the entire set. Since the show had been sold out, and we could still see that line outside, we stayed for a little over half of their set before leaving. We were also up way past our bedtime, and we could feel it! So we opted to head home early in order to avoid the traffic, and grab a bite to eat. We picked Emery up before heading home and were all in bed before midnight. It was a pretty perfect night. I'm glad we were able to go out and have some fun!

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