Letting Go of a Place

Photo by Pin Adventure Map on Unsplash

Written on 12.17.25 

When I was a teenager, I had these big dreams of living in a big city. I wanted to see other parts of the world, too. Now, as an adult, while I would love to see other parts of the world, I’m most comfortable in the country. My entire life has been spent here in this area. Minus that one year I lived in California. My family was here. It was a small town with a strong community. Everyone knew everyone else. Crime was very low. And honestly, I have enjoyed being here. It’s familiar. It’s safe. It’s HOME.

Then, a few months ago, our landlord had a mental health crisis. Not their first. And while I won’t get into too much detail, the police did get involved. It was recommended that we stay elsewhere for a few nights and then return later once they had gotten some help. We were lucky to have a place to stay for the week, and we spent those days living out of a duffel bag. The whole ordeal was super disruptive to say the least. But this forced us to start looking into the long term. My husband and I took the week to talk about our lives. What was our goal? Did we still see a future here? What did we really have left in this town? If we did move, where would we go? How would a move impact the kids? How would this impact us, financially and in our lives overall?

In the end, we came to the conclusion that nothing was holding us here. The cost of living has almost doubled, and it’s still climbing. The job market has not kept up, and while I make a decent amount, I could be making more elsewhere. My parents moved 1 ½ hours away. His dad and stepmom live 3 ½ hours away. This community is no longer small, and it’s projected to grow quite a bit in the next 5 years. While it is relatively safe, drugs and alcohol are everywhere. Though I doubt that’s different anywhere else. And as we sat there listing the pros and cons of whether to stay or go, I realized that the only thing holding us here was nostalgia. And a healthy dose of fear that comes from having to start all over. Nineteen-year-old me would have probably been packed and ready to go. Thirty-eight-year-old, mother of two, me is looking around in panic. Because what do you mean, I have to uproot everything and try to figure out life in a very unfamiliar place?

Now, by the time we returned to our house, we were all in agreement that it would be best for us to move. Where? We haven’t determined that yet. It will honestly depend on jobs. Though we have about 3 locations in mind. Ideally, we’d like to get our financial situation sorted out first. And I’d like to have some time to job hunt before going anywhere. I’d also like to wait until Emery finishes the school year. All of that said, we haven’t ruled out staying in this area completely. Maybe going a few towns over, or so. But we do want to leave our current location. We want to have a fresh start somewhere. Preferably still close to our families. Though a job offer was extended to my husband in South Texas, we haven't completely declined. In the end, we’ll do what’s best for our family. But HERE is no longer a place we’re tied to. And while there’s grief in that, there’s also excitement.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

A Light at the End of a Frozen Tunnel

If you haven’t heard about the weather in Texas then you clearly don’t watch the news. An estimated 4 million households were without power or involved in rolling blackouts that began early Monday morning. And in our area, the temperatures dropped to about -6 °F with a windchill that felt about -10 °F. And y’all, it wasn’t a fun time. The forecast kept pushing the winter storm back and it said the lows would be between 3 °F to 0 °F. The forecasted numbers fluctuated every day too! By the time the numbers switched into the negatives in our area for Sunday-Tuesday night, we had maybe a full day to try and prepare. Do you know how hard it is to find everything you need in a 24-hour window? Not to mention how many OTHER people are out there trying to prepare for the same thing. And in all honesty, the majority of our homes are not built to withstand those temperatures.

Caddo Lake State Park

On May 18th Emery, and I headed up to Mount Pleasant for a girl’s weekend. The following day we would all head out for a day of hiking at Caddo Lake State Park in order to celebrate my nephew turning one soon. Yes, while most people celebrate with cake and a party we decided to get out in 90-degree weather for a hike instead. Originally, my brother had wanted to summit Guadalupe Peak since our last trip didn’t allow for it. But seeing as how he wasn’t here we had to improvise. So, the following morning we all got ready to make the hour and a half drive to Caddo Lake. 

Now, in order to not make this one long ass post let me just give you the rundown. This park is open daily, and the cost to get in is $4 per person. Kids 12 years and under are free. Likewise, if you have a military pass-- which we did thanks to my brother. Now, if you’re an avid hiker that likes to have various trails available to you this park doesn’t really offer that. Caddo Lake is mainly for camping, fishing, paddling, and offers cabin rentals. They're available for small groups as well as for larger events such as reunions. I believe, based on the maps, that Caddo has a bit less than 3 miles of hiking trails available. However, I felt like this was perfect for a day trip. It allowed us to explore the majority of the trails, and still have enough time to rent a canoe in order to explore the Saw Mill Pond which I highly recommend. The canoe rental was, I believe $10/hour, and seated three to each canoe. The life vests were available there at no extra charge too. We took turns paddling out, and honestly that isn’t a bad price. We were all able to take a turn around the pond. Also, fair warning, this park does have alligators. My sister-in-law had previously told us about them, but also assured us that we wouldn’t encounter one. So, we didn’t see any on our visit, which Emery was totally disappointed about. I, on the other hand, was totally okay with it. They do have designated swimming areas for us humans, which we didn’t see on our side, but always make sure to ask at the office or check the website for warnings.

On the day that we went it was hot out. And humid as hell. However, the trees are so tall that they blocked a lot of the sun while we were hiking. It felt about 5 degrees cooler than what it was which turned out to be really nice. There were certain areas where a breeze would come through and help cool us down which was much appreciated by all of us. Just don’t count on having that happen a lot. And since the trails are pretty short I didn’t see any water stations along any of the routes so make sure that you bring your own water. Bring your own snacks if your peck-ish too. Also, there are three restroom areas but definitely go potty before you head out as the location of these bathrooms are on complete opposite ends of the park. Other than that, it’s pretty easy to navigate your way around. And the views were pretty great as well. I definitely recommend Caddo Lake for those of you with families that just want to get out for a day trip, or overnight camping. Or if you just want to spend some time outdoors with some friends for the day. This place is also pretty perfect for those that are new to hiking too. Like me! The trails offer just enough challenge to make you feel like you're really getting in a work out. 

Overall, I really enjoyed our visit. Emery had a blast running on the trails, and she was able to help paddle the canoe which she enjoyed. There weren’t a lot of people out when we were there, but in a more secluded camping area we were able to see a lot of tents set up so we know there were quite a few others out there. It was very peaceful, and quiet for the most part too. Now, the pond does lead out to the actual lake, and according to the park website it has over 50 miles of paddling trails. However, I can’t tell you much about that because we didn’t attempt it. There were too many other boats on the water in that area, and with it having a steadier current we weren’t sure how we’d manage with the kids. We all had a great time though! By the end of the day we were ready to head back home for some dinner. Our plans of late night movies, and junk food quickly turned into showers followed by bedtime. The kiddos were both tuckered out, and so were the adults which made it pretty easy to just call it a day. Now, we can’t wait for my brother to come home in order to go out there again. Next time around  if we have more time, and more people we just might venture out a bit further out.

Mount Pleasant - Day Two & Three

Our second day in Mount Pleasant was a short one. We all woke up a little on the late side and had pan dulce with coffee for first breakfast. Then we slowly, but surely, got ready for the day. We packed up our bags and started discussing our food options before having to start our drive back home. My dad and brother went downstairs to make some final adjustments to one of the trucks they had been working on the day before while we all debated where we’d be headed for second breakfast. The toss up was between IHOP, and a local family restaurant. And let me just say that it was a bit of an ordeal when it came to deciding. I made two circles before we finally ended up at Herschel’s Restaurant.

After having a little freak out moment, sorry Kim, we all made our way inside. And it was a cute little restaurant that had a diner feel to it. We ordered off of  the breakfast menu and I totally recommend the Royal Breakfast. This bad boy comes with two‎ extra-large eggs, short stack pancakes, a sausage patty, two slices of bacon, and breakfast potatoes. And you can bet your sweet cheeks that I ate ALL OF IT. Well, minus the bacon because my daughter asked if she could have my slices. OH! And definitely ask for them to throw in some chocolate chips for your pancakes if you ever visit one of their locations. It’s the bees knees! And the next time we go out there I definitely want to try out their lunch menu. Because the burgers that were rolling out as I stuffed my face with pancakes looked pretty mouthwatering. Once we finished up with our food we made our way back to the apartment in order to load up our bags, say our goodbyes, and head back home.

Fast forward two weekends later, and we managed to squeeze one more trip in. And on this one we actually ate more and were able to visit a few other locations. As usual, when we all woke up that Saturday morning coffee was first. Once everyone was ready we made our way downtown to a local pizza tavern. Now, originally, I thought this was going to be regular pizza joint like the one we ate at in Sulphur Springs. This was so not the case. Nardello’s Pizza Tavern is on the fancy side, y’all. The pizza is gourmet, the dinnerware looked pretty expensive, and the prices were on the higher side. Now normally, when I order a single large pizza I’m expecting it to feed three of us in the price range of $10 (Little Cesar’s) to $15 (Pizza Hut). If you’re on my same level then just know that Nardello’s isn’t going to do that for you. There were seven of us so I get that we were a decent size group. And man can we put it away so you’d expect us to have to pay a good bit for some grub. I get it. However, at this place we had two pizzas (medium size option only), a kid’s personal, and one small appetizer plus drinks. The total bill came out to $100. I their defense I will say that the pizza was pretty yummy. They make it in a brick stove right in front of everyone, and the ingredients seemed very fresh. However, if you’re on a budget, or you’re expecting some pizza and wings action this is not the place. I can’t speak for everyone else, but I was still hungry after we left.

This is where we parted ways with the boys. They went back to the apartment to work on a vehicle while we hit up the local thrift store. They had a decent size selection of clothes, home goods, and furniture. Keep in mind that this is a second-hand store though, and sometimes that’s where you find some of the coolest stuff. And the lady who was working there was really sweet! Once we were done looking around my sister-in-law asked if I was ready for coffee. I mean, is that even a serious question? She didn't have to tell me twice. We left my mother at the thrift store to happily continue browsing while we walked across the square to a coffee shop. And I’m just going to go ahead and say that this was the highlight of all the places we went to that day. Jo’s Coffee Shop is pretty much perfection. The layout is exactly what I always pictured one day running myself. Though, in m shop, I’d have a bookstore/lounge area on the second level. Still, this place was fantastic! They offer coffee, lattes, drip coffee, non-coffee options, and some food. You have plenty of places to sit, a few couches thrown in, and a little stage for when they have musical guests playing. Then the back door opens up into a large deck with tables in case you want to be outdoors while enjoying your coffee. Or non-coffee. I opted for the “Daydreamer” latte which had lavender in it, and oh my sweetness. Y’all I fell in love with that coffee. They next time we go to MT. Pleasant you better believe I’m getting myself as much of that coffee as I can consume. I don’t care how many trips I have to make! Take all my money, Jo! JUST. TAKE. IT. So, if you couldn’t tell by now, Jo’s was a hit for me. The barista was really nice, and the other customers were really friendly. Side effect of drinking coffee, obviously. And you’re looking at Starbucks pricing for coffee that was waaay better. So, if you’re ever in the area just do yourself a favor and stop in. You won’t be disappointed.

And this is when we started to see the rain headed towards us. We made our way back just in time for me to squeeze in a nap during yet another thunderstorm. I find that this is the best time to sleep, read, or binge on Netflix. And since I still had to drive back home that afternoon I decided to get some sleep before it was time to go. When I woke up an hour later we had more coffee. Are you sensing a theme yet? The majority of our group were watching TV and discussing politics in the living room. Once the rest of the sleepy heads got up we all loaded up our cars, and then headed out for dinner. The burger joint we had originally decided on was closed so we quickly made our way across the street to Jorge’s Mexican Restaurant. It was pouring outside so we were the only ones there. It smelled like Fabuloso, carne asada, and tortillas. A slightly odd combination when you write it out, but this is seriously the only way you can tell if your in a REAL Mexican restaurant. And maybe it's because we grew up with it, but that smell always makes me feel at home. With Spanish music playing in the background we all talked, shared food, and laughed. This would be the last time we’d ALL be together for a while, and you could sense it. None of us really wanting to rush with eating or leaving the restaurant. But after an hour it was time for us to say “See you later” and hit the road. And that was the end of our adventure that weekend.

Mount Pleasant - Day One

In April we found ourselves getting to spend two(ish) weekends in Mount Pleasant with my family. We live several hours apart (that’s how we measure distance in Texas), and with a few changes that we’d all been undergoing – as well as my aunt’s recent passing- we decided it was time to spend a few days together. So, we packed some clothes along with a few essentials and made our way over. Now, before I get too into this, let me just say that both of our visits were rainy. Because it wouldn't be Texas without some freak storm passing through while we were in town. So, while Spring was just dusting off its boots for us here where we live, it was the beginning of tornado season for them in Mount Pleasant. But we made the most of it.

Before we had decided on this venture I had been playing around with the idea of committing to a strict diet, and exercise routine. Sadly, or not so sadly depending on how you look at it, as soon as cheesecake was mentioned in my presence that idea was shoved way back into a tiny corner of my mind. Which brings me to the first place we went to eat while there: Laura’s Cheesecake & Cafe. This is a fairly new little café right off of their main square. It had been raining, and the lighting gave this place a really warm and cozy feeling. We had arrived a little too late to order breakfast so we grabbed some items off of their regular menu. I had a “*Chicken Fajita Wrap” with a slice of triple chocolate cheesecake for dessert. Then there was the whole “build your own sandwich” option which I may or may not have indulged in as well. And let me just say that whoever was back in that kitchen: YOU. ARE. AMAZING. And whoever makes the cheesecakes: CAN I TAKE YOU HOME SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE ME CHEESECAKES TO MY HEART’S CONTENT? PLEASE?! Overall, this place was really nice. I think the pricing was decent considering where we were at. The décor was on point, the staff was friendly, and the food was great! We walked out with full bellies. And by the time we made it back to the apartment I seriously considered taking a nap. Laura’s will definitely be a place that we go back to on our next visit.

HOWEVER, I had already made plans. You see, on our drive up to Mount Pleasant the night before I saw a sign on the interstate that read “SULPHER SPRINGS NEXT THREE EXITS”. And I kept thinking, “Hmm. Where do I know that town from?” I didn't give it much thought after we passed the sign as I was focused on my coffee and making sure not to piss off any of the eighteen-wheeler drivers I was sharing the road with. It wasn't until we were getting off on our exit about twenty miles down the road when it hit me: COLLEEN! THAT’S WHERE COLLEEN LIVES!! As soon as I got over my fangirl moment I was hit with another round of excitement. Because as we pulled up to the apartment I realized that The Bookworm Box Bookstore was only twenty-five minutes away from me. If I went the speed limit, and that was a big IF by this point. As I threw my car into park and grabbed our bags I knew that there was NO WAY I was going to miss out on making a trip to this bookstore when it was so close. Now why is this place so important you ask? Well, Colleen Hoover is one of my favorite authors.  “It Ends With Us” is really important to me as it literally changed my life. Or at the very least, allowed me to be okay with the changes that needed to be made in my life at that time. Now, a few years ago she started The Bookworm Box which was a way for her to give back. Then a physical store was opened. And ever since I found out about it I have always wanted to go. However, for one reason or another, I never got the chance. Until THAT day. So, as I have shuffled half rolled my ass into my car I asked my sister-in-law if she would like to join me. Once she agreed we loaded up the kiddoes, put on some 90’s tunes, and made the drive over.

Now, Sulpher Springs --what we saw of it-- looked really cute. We drove around their main street and were able to see several little shops and restaurants. Some we made mental notes to look into for the next trip. Because there will be a "next trip". But this visit was a specific one. And as we walked up the little sidewalk I knew that this was going to be one pretty great day for me! I felt so giddy, as the store sign came into view, and I almost ran through the front door. As we entered we were met by a nice open seating area followed by rows of books. It felt amazing! It felt like I was a kid in a candy store. Unfortunately, Colleen wasn't actually there. Though I didn't expect her to be since I do keep up with her Instagram posts. But y'all, just being in that bookstore. Filled with so many books signed by their authors. Getting to meet her mom and aunt. Knowing that Colleen has walked through those same doors, I mean, I did my best to play it cool. But inside I was squealing like a little pig, I kid you not. Then as my heart finally started to settle back into a normal pace I was picking up my first book, just about to reach my happy place, when I heard: "MOM! This is soo cool! What BOOKS can I get?" And I practically heard my mental breaks screech to a halt. Because as much as I wanted to grab up ALL of the books for myself, it was now very clear that my daughter was also wanting in on this book action. So, I did what every other parent in my position would do. I compromised, and bargain with my 8- year old. After a few options, we finally settled on me getting a book and coffee mug while she got a book and the free t-shirt. And technically, she called dibs on the free t-shirt without even considering that I might want it so I really didn't even have a choice on that one. After we made our final choices we browsed for about thirty more minutes before heading out. Now, before I end this paragraph let me just say that this store had a pretty impressive collection. Not just in regards to books either. They had a nice selection of bookmarks, mugs, t-shirts, handmade items, and bundles. Everything was reasonably priced too. I thought for sure I'd be spending $20+ on a single signed book, but that was NOT the case at all. I spent less than $40 on two signed books and a coffee mug. Plus they threw in two bookmarks, and a t-shirt for free. How's that for an awesome deal? Afterwards, we grabbed lunch at a local pizza joint, took some more pictures, and then finally all climbed back into the car for the trip back. 

And those were the highlights of day one. Once we returned to the apartment we made a pizza run and watched movies. We stayed up debating several topics and listening to movie soundtracks. All while a nice storm rumbled outside. We drank coffee and ate pan dulce until it was time to call it a night. It was a wonderful end to a pretty epic day.

*If you order this just know that it has jalapeno even though it's not stated ANYWHERE in the description. I found out the hard way. 😞

Let's Recap Shall We?

After that last post I realized I should probably work on a "Catch Up" post. As luck would have it, I found myself with a semi-free Thursday afternoon. And in order to not fall so behind that I'm posting things a month late I finally cracked open my laptop with the intent of writing something. Anything. So, it goes without saying that we’ve been really busy around here lately. Between trips out of town, working overtime, doctor appointments, and just trying to get the little through what’s left of the school year in one piece I feel like we’ve been in this constant state of chaos for the past few weeks now. I feel like I’m always tired, and then there’s the next level of exhaustion that kicks in every few days. BUT we’re almost there, guys! Three weeks until summer starts, and even though that originally sounded pretty great I just realized as I’m typing this sentence that I still have to find a sitter for my daughter. Crap! And now what was once “Yay! Three weeks left!” has turned into “Ahhh! What the crap... I only have three weeks?” So, while I mentally freak out over what I’m going to do, here are a few random (emphasis on the few) highlights from what we were up to in April.

Technically this is from March, but whatever. Emery’s class had an Easter egg hunt at their school before being let out for the holiday. Surprisingly, it was a really nice day considering we had had rain that morning and the two days before it. The kids were able to use the local university’s field to gather eggs which basically means the adults said "Okkay go find your numbered eggs" and sent them loose in an open field. Even though the plans had changed the kids still had a blast, and then we were all granted a three-day weekend. YAY! 

Moving right along: We finally put Emery’s telescope, which she received as a birthday gift, together. Yes, I know I'm terrible. In my defense we've been busy, and our weather has been crap so it's not like we had clear skies to gaze up into. Still, in the spirit of honesty I wasn't exactly looking forward to putting this thing together. There are little pieces, several knobs, and a tripod. AND did I mention the directions were a little "ify"? However, to my surprise, it wasn’t as awful as I thought it would be. Nor was it time consuming which I was initially afraid of. So, if you're on the lookout for a telescope for your big kid then I highly recommend this one. It's pretty easy to put together, doesn't feel cheap, and I think it's perfect for a kid's first telescope. The knob can be a bit difficult to move around, but it's not fragile which I liked. Now, I'm just as new to this whole "stargazing" thing as my daughter, and to be honest I have no clue what I'm doing. But I was still able to get a pretty fantastic view of the moon on our first night. Woohoo! Since then, we've used it several more times, and even though my daughter was a little disappointed because "Mom, you can't see the galaxies or outer space" she still says that it's pretty cool. So, shout out to grandma & grandpa for that one!

Up next is an afternoon with my dad at a Texas Rangers game. Y'all, I love when we get afternoons like we did that day. About a week before the game my dad was given a few tickets by the company he works for to attend it with several other employees. He thought it would be great to take Emery along, and when we mentioned it to her she said she wanted to go. Fast forward to the actual game day when her friends invited her to a day of cake, ice cream, and unlimited play time. Can you guess who won out? Yup. My daughter bailed at the last minute. Or more like I allowed her to bail because some battles are not worth it. The amount of whining, and crying that would have been attached to the long drive into the city was just not something I wanted to be subjected to on that day. So, it was just me and my pops. And you know what? Secretly, I was kind of glad that my daughter decided she didn't want to go. Not because I didn't want my daughter there; it would have been just as great if she had gone. It would have been her first game too. But I was able to get some one on one time with my dad. We live in the same town, we go to the same gym, and I even work odd jobs with him. But there's always something that we're doing. We're either working, or we're trying to resolve an issue. We're taking turns driving long distance so that the other one can get some sleep, or we're trying to get our gains in (lol). We hardly ever get to just sit down with some food, take in a game, and have ourselves a cold beer on a nice day. So it was pretty great! We laughed, we cheered, and then we left during the 8th inning because our boys were getting spanked and traffic is a nightmare.

And last but not least, we went to visit my brother and his family. I won't post a lot of pictures in regards to these visits as I plan to dedicate a whole post to them. But I just wanted to share a little bit about it. The town they live in is so cute, y'all! We were able to visit a few local shops, and restaurants. I even made a little trip to a neighboring town as a gift to myself. If you follow me on Instagram you already know where I went. It was such a fun time! Plus getting to cuddle with my nephew, though there was an incident that had him mad at me for a bit, wasn't too bad either. Then watching Emery dote on him the entire time was priceless too. So, I'm really glad that we were able to make the trip not once, but twice last month. There were a few instances when I debated on quitting my job, and moving in with them. That's how much I enjoyed being there. Alas, logic won, and I came back home. But now I can't wait for the next visit! So, that about sums up this recap. Now I leave you with a picture of my brother and I. We look alike when we laugh. It's great! So, April, even with its rough start, was good to us. Until the next post folks! 

Sutherland Springs, Texas

I normally don't talk about certain issues going on in the world today, my faith, or even address politics on this blog. It's not that I'm ashamed, or don't pay attention either. I just feel that we're all different, and we all have different views. Sometimes our stances maybe exactly the same, or just a bit similar. While other times they are the complete opposite. And that's okay! I'm good with all of the differences out there. Besides, what could I possibly say that you haven't heard already from someone else in regards to these subjects, huh? However, I felt like I needed to express something today that may touch a little on some of these things.  

As you all know by now, Sunday was a sad day here in Texas. Three hours away from my own little town, while some where at their normal Sunday service and others were enjoying the extra hour of sleep, a coward walked into a church with an assault rifle. Twenty-six people didn't make it home that afternoon. About half of those were children. Now, the survivors and those who have to deal with the aftermath personally, have a long road to recovery ahead of them. Long after the media attention dies down. And long after they lay their loved ones to rest. Sadly, this community will never be the same again. Having grown up in a tiny little town, much like Sutherland, my heart breaks for these people. For their community. 

Now, I've seen some of the media be respectful of those who lost loved ones, or survived this incident. I'm grateful for them, truly. But I've also seen media outlets as well as people in general mock the response some of us have in regards to such tragedies. "See! Prayer does nothing! GOD DIDN'T SAVE THESE PEOPLE!" or "Sacrificed to the Second Amendment" with the pictures of the victims alongside it. Comments of how "Texans were just asking for it" due to our states stance on guns. It's remarks like those that make me mad. Angry. And yet really sad. Sad that this just happened, only two days ago, and everyone wants to turn it into a damn gun control debate. They want to use the deaths as reasons to prove their side; their cause. And I get that these topics are "hot button". I get that there need to be conversations over these issues. And I get that they are important to each person, in different ways. BUT, y'all...babies died. Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and friends. They died, on what they believed would be a normal Sunday morning. While they prayed, and worshipped.

So maybe take a moment to think about that instead? To feel heartbroken for their loss. To go home, and hug your loved ones as tightly as possible. To be empathetic, and not make this about politics or healthcare for just a few moments. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about any of this. I can't make the smearing of the victims' beliefs stop, or force others to be respectful. We all have our choices. We're all different. Our reactions will all vary. So, instead I've said my prayers. Whether people think that's an inappropriate response, or not I honestly don't care. I've asked for understanding, comfort, and peace on the behalf of those families. And my heart goes out to that tiny little town.

We are with you.

Texas, forever. ❤

Summer I & II

I stated before that I'm currently taking summer classes. I knew going in that they would be intense, but I did not realize they would be this intense. There are no breaks, and I have homework every night of the week. Summer II started the day after I took my final for Summer I and it has just been a nonstop roller coaster ride. That is why I have been absent for so long, so here is a quick update:

On Father's Day weekend the little and I traveled with my brother and sister-in-law (officially; post for another time) to Carlsbad, NM and Guadalupe National Park. I have pictures and as soon as I am able to I will post those. It was so so so lovely. We had a lot of mishaps on the way (another post for a later time), but it was so worth it to be able to see such amazing things. And since we barely had any cell service, none at the national park, our phones were reduced to camera's. IN. THE. BEST. WAY. POSSIBLE! We were able to check in with every one at the beginning and end of each day which was all we really needed. Even that required us to walk a ways. I can't even begin to describe how exhilarating it was to be out there. We didn't get to hike up Guadalupe due to our delays, but we did get to hike one of the trails. There is something to be said for stillness; quiet. We were all together, without phones, and once we made it to the end of our trail we all just sat and took it in. For about 2 minutes before Em decided she needed to do more. Still, it was great. I hope to write about it in more detail as well as show you guys some photos soon. Until then, here's one of the little at Carlsbad Caverns, New Mexico.

We gave my husband a weekend to himself to have a boys weekend, and then we returned on Father's Day. The following weekend he was off to California and then Laughlin, NV for his best friends wedding. He came back intact, but when a pretty swollen leg from a nice jet ski trick gone wrong. Also, let me just say that LAX is a nightmare, and never again (I hope) will any of us ever have to fly into that airport. My husband arrived two hours before his flight, and the lack of assistance, as well as major wait times caused him to miss his flight. He was put on standby, and miraculously was able to be home by 4 pm. Though because it was such short notice, I wasn't able to pick him up until 6 pm. Anyways, he made it home safely, and I'm grateful for that. 

Since then, we haven't done much. A few flea market visits here and there. We had a nice get together on the fourth of July with my husband's side of the family. The parade was pretty awesome, and they had a few games, and bounce houses that Em was able to ride. We ate dippin' dots for breakfast, and she was able to play for a few hours with a lot of other kids. Some that she'll be seeing at school this fall. The highlight of her day was seeing her former preschool teacher at the fair. I've never seen her run so fast to give hugs before. We've gone to see movies, and we've had dinner with friends. Our little tried out a gymnastics camp and has decided she'd like to continue so those classes will start at the beginning of August. Also, after our camping trip Em's been asking to go "out to the mountains" again, though this time I think we'll stick closer to home. There are some great places nearby that I want to check out and it would also be great if we could take the four-legged babies as well. They are easier climbs with some great views so I feel like we might be in for a day-trip soon. My husband insists we go camping so I'm sure it will be followed by an overnight trip soon after anyway.

So that's been our summer so far. Pretty simple and boring, I know. I didn't realize that summer classes left you with zero time to do anything else. I doubt I'll be doing this again for awhile. My mother has suggested we take a trip up to the LEGOLAND Center so she's working the details on that out. I still want to visit the Omni, which might be something that we do in August once things have slowed down for us. Other than that, not much else is new. Hope everyone is having a wonderful summer break though! Until next time! :) 

Texas, I Do Love You

(music, while you read this post)

I realized that as much as I talk about California I'm kind of making it seem as though I hate Texas. This is not the case though. I love Texas. I'm proud to have been born and raised a Texan. A Tejana, through and through. I have my own pair of cowboy boots that I wear daily. As much as I'd like to become a vegetarian, I love meat too much. Sorry folks, I just can't quit it. "Y'all" is very much a part of my every day vocabulary. Sometimes my sentences are a mix of English and Spanish: "Andale! mija, lets go!" I firmly believe in addressing my elders with a "ma'am" or "sir". And yes, my accent can get pretty thick. When people ask where I'm from, I proudly name Texas as my state. Because, honestly, I feel like my state is the best one to grow up in. I'm truly proud of where I come from. 

I love our flat lands, and rolling hills.I think we have some of the best sunsets and sunrises than anywhere else.  I absolutely love the wide open spaces! I love our gun laws, and big trucks. I really do. I love how we all come together to support each other in the small communities just as well as statewide. I love that we are all pretty friendly. We're always waving at one another, regardless of whether or not we actually know each other. I like that in many places, your neighbor is a good mile away from you. As my brother once said "If I want to pee off the back porch, I can, and no one will ever see!" Ha! I like how our summers get hot and there are Popsicle's being eaten at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I love that it's fully acceptable to have your kids running through the water sprinklers in your front yard in their undies during the summer.  I like that you'll see many of us cooking out on the grill even during the winter. And lets not forget that no one does BBQ like us either. You haven't lived, if you haven't had some good ole Texas BBQ!  

This is also where my family resides. As many of you know I come from a big family, and an even bigger "adopted" family. Anyone who walks through our doors, is instantly considered a member. We have many cook outs, and family dinners year round. We all live so close by that we don't go a whole week without seeing each other. We constantly invite others to join us, and we get to just sit around talking; laughing. We do a lot of things together too. Whether it's going to the grocery store or to the movies. Some of the best times I've had have been sitting in the car taking a "road trip" to shop at Lowe's with my entire family. And when I was first told "it takes a village to raise I child" I was really skeptical of it's meaning. But, now I know the truth of it. My village is my family, and they have helped us out so much! Emery is being introduced to many great things and cultures because of who we surround her with. And even though we may not have the reputation for it there really is a lot of diversity here too. I couldn't be happier about Emery getting the chance to grow among the same places and people that I did.

Texas is and will always be my home. I'm proud to say that it's shaped who I've become. So yes, my heart will always be here with the family and community that raised me. This doesn't mean that I'll always live here. It doesn't mean that I'm any less of a Texan for wanting to go explore other places. Or for wanting to live somewhere else. Some people will never leave their hometowns, and that's okay. Other's do, and that's okay too. But no matter where I go, I will always take Texas with me. It'll be in my words, and my drawl. It'll be in the way I choose to eat my steak with my hands rather than a fork and knife. It'll be in the sweet tea I choose to keep brewed. It'll be in that song I play so often by a little band from Texas that I adore. It'll be in the photographs I place throughout my house of the family I love so much. It'll be in the stories I tell of "back home" with new friends we meet. It'll be in my outlook of the world, and the respect I show to others. Because Texas is and will always be, in me. 

"You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the girl."

Prayers for West

This week just needs to be over with already. First the Boston bombings and now the West fertilizer plant explodes. I swear there needs to be a universal rules that limits the amount of tragedies the world should be able to handle in one month. Two in one week should not be allowed. But there goes my wishful thinking because I know that bad things happen every day somewhere. Still, a girl can hope right?

Last night a friend of mine asked for prayers for everyone involved. West, TX is about an hour and a half away from where I live, and it's not uncommon for people to have relatives or friends that live there. In fact, my boss man has a friend that lives there who he checked in with this morning. Thankfully they were safe, but  he told them that the death toll would more than likely go up. And that is just heartbreaking.

Throughout all of this, I keep hearing that even with such a tragedy many where able to be evacuated before the explosion happened. Many more are thankful that this happened when school was out, because apparently the intermediate is right next to the plant. I think we'd all be in a much different mind set this morning if that had happened. There has been a bit of looting which is such a disappointment, and makes me a bit angry. But above it all, kindness has been shining through and that's something that I'm so proud of!

So today my thoughts and prayers are with those directly affected by this. For those that lost their loved ones, or have loved ones that are hurt. And for all of the first responders that are there or traveling there to help.

Wordless Wednesday

A Trip to Luling

On Saturday afternoon we made the drive down to Luling, TX. It’s a small town right outside of San Marcos, and we have some family members that live in the area. The reason for our trip was to take my grandmother to see some of her kids that came down from Georgia. We took the long way down, unknowingly, and I was volunteered to drive so that was not very fun. I had hoped to get in some reading time, but my father insisted that I should drive since they had done it for years.

That’s one thing I can say that was awful. The heat and humidity. But getting to see all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins was well worth it. And the Bar-B-Q was off the chain! Seriously, if you ever visit, you have to try it. It's delicious. So after we all ate dinner we sat around in the living room and just talked. Everyone was catching up with each other and making jokes. Embarrassing moments were brought out, and we reminisced. It definitely reminded me of why I love having such a big family. We’re all so loud and happy together.

Emery did great on the drive down, but that’s where her good manners ended for the most part. Since my husband stayed behind, it’s way too hot for him and we have too many pets, I was left to wrangle our child all by myself. This was not very pleasant. After spending the weekend, with it just being me and her, I’ve realized that she does not fear me. Even when I dish out spankings. At one point I told her that she would get a spanking if she didn’t settle down, and her reply was

“No! You not daddy!”

Clearly, only her father can discipline her. So, we stayed at my uncle’s house for the most part. I was a little worried that she’d throw a fit if we went anywhere, and I was not about to set myself up for one if I could help it. Thankfully, she had plenty of people to keep her busy and entertained for the most part. We did get in an hour or so at the local park on Sunday morning. Everyone else had gone to church, and by the time she realized everyone was leaving she started asking to go “Bye bye”. So off we went, in the 90+ degree weather to play.

Later that afternoon we made the drive back up, but thanks to my iPhone we made it back in less than 3 hours. And I would have had better timing too had we not run into a storm in Austin. Now even though we had a nice time, I was really excited to get home. Emery kept asking for Daddy, and I missed our bed. The night before I had to sleep on the floor and that was brutal on my back. So once we got home I pretty much threw myself onto the bed and didn't get back up. It was wonderful! Now, it’s back to the old grind. Hope everyone else had a wonderful weekend!

p.s. Pictures of our weekend were limited.

I'll do a photo-dump soon. 

What I've Been Up To: Part II

The carnival is in town and last Friday we were able to take Emery out to ride some rides!! She had such a blast that we’re already planning on going out there again at least one more time. My brother and his girlfriend came along and they took her on a ride while my husband and I were able to get on the Zipper. This alone was totally worth the twenty bucks that we spent. No joke. It’s been forever since we’ve been able to go a carnival and even longer since we’ve actually ridden rides. I was squealing like a little girl the entire time! I can’t wait to get to go out there again!

On Saturday, we had some friends over to play a few drinking games. I decided that I was a big girl and opted for the “Bud Light Platinum” instead of the regular “Bud Light”. Wrong move on my part. Before I knew it I was drunk. Really really drunk. Emotional drunk too. Which I hate. Then Sampson, while trying to play with a kitten ended up hurting it instead. This kitty had been the one that my husband had developed a connection with. He even had a name, TEX. At first he looked as if he was getting better, and he was responsive. Wagging his tail, meowing, and breathing. But the poor kitten died Monday night. We were all pretty heartbroken about it. Even Sampson.

Also on Monday, my husband got a ticket. Right as we were pulling into our house. The state trooper said he pulled us over because of my front license plate not being mounted. I explained to him that the dealer told me that we had to order a bracket and I showed him that I indeed had my plate in the car. So instead of giving us a ticket for that he asked for my husbands drivers license because he was the one behind the wheel. As many of you know, he doesn’t have one. The cop made this big deal of putting my husband in the squad car, thankfully he didn’t handcuff him though. But he did state that he could arrest him if a call hadn’t come in about a drunk driver about a mile ahead of us. Once my husband came back to the vehicle I drove the less than 10 feet into our drive. I’m not kidding you guys when I said we were pulling into our house. If only the man had given us a break and just let me get out and pull in without issuing a ticket. Wishful thinking.

I was pretty pissed. More so than my husband. His license has been suspended since 2008 by California. And Texas won’t allow him to get one because of unpaid surcharges. Which we were almost caught up on. He was due to get his license in November. And now, we have to deal with a ticket. Which could push back his license date a year or two! How are we suppose to go two more years?!? Ugh! I understand that he shouldn’t be driving, but people, sometimes he has to drive. And once he starts working, I’m sure he’ll have to get back behind the wheel because we need money. Right now he’s doing odd jobs here and there until he gets the call from FMC, and thankfully my dad and brother have helped him with rides. But how the hell does someone expect a person to not drive, and still be able to hold a job? Especially when we live 30 minutes from town. It’s ridiculous. It stupid. And I’m so annoyed with “the system” right now.

So other than that, things have been good. I’ve been reading a lot lately. If you have a Good Reads account you should add me. I'm always up for discovering new books. Although I'm on a young adult novel kick. After last weeks storms my garden has over grown and is in serious need of tending. Our babysitter will be headed off for a two week vacation and I’m freaking out over who we’ll get to take care of Emery while she’s gone. My husband is currently helping my dad and brother tear down some old buildings in town during the week, so he hasn’t been at home during the day.

A Night Out in Dallas

I've been in a bit of a funk. And this past weekend did nothing to help my situation. We took my sister-in-law and her friend to a K-POP show since my mother-in-law had just gotten out of surgery. I made sure to plan ahead and consider traffic on a Saturday evening, so we left pretty early. Unfortunately, it might have been a bit TOO early. So, we got to walk around Deep Ellum, and have dinner at Deep Sushi before the show. 

You may not know this about me, but I love sushi. This is pretty weird considering that I’ve never been a fan of fish. Anything that smells like a lake really puts me off. But back when I lived in California my husband’s boss took us all out for a company party at a sushi bar, and his wife introduced me to some really delicious sushi. She “walked me through” the process of finding something I would really enjoy. I credit her for falling in love with it almost immediately, lol! Unfortunately, we now live in a small Texas town and are limited to one restaurant that serves only three different kinds of sushi rolls. That’s it. I break down and go there when I’m really craving it. So for us to go to a legit, not so pricey, sushi bar right on our night out was simply amazing. And the fact that it was right around the corner from the club well I only assumed it was fate. It did not disappoint. We left with our belly’s full, and were able to go walk around and take a few pictures. It brought back some memories of good shows, good friends, and great music.

The show was at “The Prophet Bar/The Door” club in Dallas so at least we maintained some of our street cred. When they finally opened the doors, my husband and I bee lined it straight to the bar. It was definitely......different. I don’t think I’ve ever been surrounded by so many pretty Asians before in my life. Seriously, even the guys looked pretty. And their hair? My God, I wanted it so bad. So pretty, shiny, and straight. Ugh, so unfair! They had two “openers”, which weren’t awful, but not great either. We already knew that the band wasn’t exactly going to be our cup of tea but the bartenders were pretty awesome. They were probably the most entertainment we had so we managed to pull through just fine. Sort of.

A lot of craziness goes down when you’re around drunk people. I was the DD so I stayed sober. But after that night I realized why I don’t go out that often anymore. People can be retarded when they drink. Some people just can’t handle their liquor. Sometimes I feel embarrassed for myself because I realize that I was totally in their shoes not that long ago. The girl that was falling in her high heels, wanting to start a fight, or just being down right mean. Yea, I was that girl. So, our night ended on a very bad note, and that’s about as much detail as I want to get into. My sister-in-law and her friend had a blast though! They are definitely fanatics, when it comes to this scene and it made me happy to see her get to be around other people that were just as crazy about this band as she was. She was definitely in her element.

Our Sunday was spent sleeping because we didn’t get home till almost 3 a.m. Emery had been out with my mother, pretty late so she cat napped a lot too. It was so nice to just relax. To be home, and lounge around. It was cloudy and windy, but warm so we were able to get some play time with Emery in. Today I’m hoping will be a slow lazy one too. Classes start up tomorrow and I’m a bit bummed about that. But, it’s not like I can do anything about it! Gotta keep chugging a long. Hope everyone else had a wonderful weekend though! 

Jealous Much?

Last Friday, I dropped off my husband’s cousin at their aunt’s house. He was picking up the rest of his stuff, and packing whatever he had forgotten because he had a bus to catch at 11 am. As I left him there, I couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit of jealousy. Why? Well this bus he was catching, was headed to Oceanside, Ca. 

He had come out here a few months ago to get his shit together, for lack of better words. He found a great job at a local steakhouse and within a month was promoted to kitchen manager. He was doing really good, but I guess he missed home. So on Wednesday he quit his job, and announced to us that he was leaving.

Now, I’m a little butt hurt. Not gunna lie. On our way to his aunt’s house, he talked about how he couldn't wait to see the beach, and smell the saltiness of the ocean. His house is a few blocks from the pier. How he couldn’t wait to see everyone and be back in California. And I’m sitting next to him thinking “YEA, must be nice...”

I know people probably get tired of me talking about California. I’m sure some even wonder where, seeing as how I’m a Texas girl, the hell is my Texan pride? Well, it’s here. I LOVE Texas. It is my home. I was born and raised here. I’ll continue to eat steak with my hands, speak with an accent, and I won’t mind getting my hands dirty. My brother taught me the basics of handling a gun, my dad taught me how to throw a punch, and I’m not scared of a brawl. Come at me. That’s all still IN me. Texas will always be in my heart. I take that where ever I go. But like I stated before, sometimes I feel like California is where we’re meant to really start our lives. Apart from everyone else. To finally be our own family, on our own. Sometimes I feel like we have unfinished business there. I don't know, it's weird, but I keep feeling this pull towards California. People, I daydream about it. I can't shake it either. 

So, a bit of jealousy and sadness kind of hit me on Friday. Jealousy because I wish we could do that. I wish we were in the financial position to just say “You know what, it’s time. Let’s go!” To be able to pack up our bags and head out. But we can’t. I have school, and we need to save up a nice sized nest egg before we go ANYWHERE. And sadness, because reality hit me and I realized how long it will be before we every get to go back out there. Whether it be for a visit or to move, it’s gunna be awhile. I can't believe just last month, we were there? It seems like forever ago. And  that sucks, because I really do miss it. A lot.