Happy Friday!

Whoa! It’s Friday! I’m pretty excited about this. This week was not the greatest, school wise. I found out that I made a 50, on one of my History quizzes. It’s a long story, but lets just say that my teacher was gone for two weeks and then we got a “surprise” quiz from a substitute. Then I was totally lost on this past weeks 5th chapter quiz so I’m pretty sure I probably got another 50. Eh. It’s been rough. I get today, and maybe tomorrow off from studying. I hit the books again on Sunday.

I ran 3.2 miles last Sunday because I needed it. I felt fat, lazy, and really gross. I was tired and just needed that release. So, I hit the treadmill and it was awesome. Yesterday, I was only able to do 2 miles because my husband had to get some stuff done. Also, with my schedule I’ve realized that running will only be doable on Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays. And that can change depending on plans. So I’m trying to find time. I felt so much better after running that I know I can’t stop. I may not be a marathon runner, but I get something out of 3 miles. That’s enough for me.

Emery had a stomach bug at the beginning of this week I think. She had a whole day of acting normal but not eating or drinking hardly anything. The sitter said she just refused to eat. A few sips of her yogurt, half a bottle (for the whole day), and 3 strawberries. That’s it. And, at the end of the day, around 7:30, she said “UP” and started trying to climb up on the bed. So I put her in bed and she grabbed her pacifier, kicked her shoes off, pulled the covers up to her neck, and fell asleep. Whoa! That never happens. Bed time isn’t usually till 8:00 for her, and we ALWAYS have to read a book before turning all of the lights off. She’ll fall asleep about 10-20 minutes after lights out. So that behavior earlier this week was a bit...weird. It was a little too grown up for me, too. Thankfully, she’s now back to her usual self and bed time rituals have gone back to normal.

We still haven’t gotten a vehicle. I’m a bit tired of looking for other cars so I just told my parents that the escape we had looked at locally would be fine. We were suppose to go sign papers on Monday, but my dad took it for a test drive and found a problem with it. So the guy said he’d get it fixed and pass it through an inspection. Then we can go back and try it out. Fingers crossed that it will be sometime next week and hopefully there won’t be any problems with it after that for awhile. 

Today, I feel sick. Bloated, food tastes bland, and I think I might throw up. Hopefully, I didn’t catch what Emery had. But if I did I hope it only lasts 24 hours. Tomorrow I fully plan on getting up early, going for a run, and then doing some DEEP cleaning. The house is a mess, we’re out of clean towels, and we’re down to the last set of sheets. Plus, the drastic changes in weather recently (one day hot, one day rain, one day with a high of 70) has me in full “spring cleaning” mode, only instead of spring it’ll be for winter. I need to get rid of clothes, and random crap that we just don’t need anymore. Plus that computer room is in some much needed rearranging. Our house needs tending so it’ll be a full day of cleaning. But I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy it. Hope your week has been wonderful! 

More Time

I’ve been talking about making some changes in my life lately. And I’ve been trying to really see what all I’m spending my time on, aside from work and school. I realized that a lot of it is spent doing homework, catching up on TV shows, creating a blog post, and sleep. For me, this is very very wrong.

I’m sure that it’s perfectly ok to let Emery watch 15-20 minutes of Sprout TV while I’m trying to do some extra chores or get ready for work. But lately, I haven’t really been spending quality time with her. Yes, I see her every day. We play and goof around. We go outside and play with her toys. And while I’m studying, she’ll set up “camp” next to me with her little notebook and map colors. But I feel like it’s just not as much time as I should be spending with her. Sometimes, when I get home I either start on homework, or my mom asks to take Em for a walk or give her a bath. I usually let her take Emery, and I spend about an hour catching up on any recorded shows or creating a post.  I feel like this needs to stop.

I need to start spending more time with my baby girl. I’ve been so caught up in “catching up” and watching TV before bed time that I probably should spend reading that extra bed time story. Or taking her outside and letting her walk around like we used to. With school, I just kind of got a little overwhelmed this first month, and now that I’m getting my routine more set, I feel like I should take that extra step to spend more time with my family. With my baby.

This will probably mean less posts. Twice a week maybe? Special occasions? I’m not really sure. I just feel like I’m taking a lot of quality time for granted. Not to mention I haven’t worked out in two weeks so I feel like I’m getting all sluggish and lazy. I need to get my energy back on track. I need to be more focused. This means the TV will be turned off more, and I’ll be spending less time on the internet. I really need this. It’s just part of being a good wife and mommy. For me anyway. This feels like another good step in the right direction though! 

p.s. It looks like we will be getting

another vehicle. Hopefully by Monday.

This weekend I'll be out looking again.

Wish me luck!

Privacy

Privacy, privacy, privacy. Such a hard thing to really be serious about, especially when you have a blog. Even more so when you have these social networking sites, that make it “oh so easy” to share with friends and family (and the rest of the world).

Last year I found that some old, creepy man, had tagged himself in pictures of my daughter on Facebook. That’s when I started really looking into the privacy setting for EVERYTHING. Blogging, Social Networking sites, and even applications. This is the reason I have right-click disable. Now, I know there are some sick people out there, and some that even just steal things for fun. So, I disabled the links that way no one could click through on any images of my daughter. I’m sure some genius out there can get around the disabled right-click but it makes it that much more of a task for them. Then, I started to watermark all of my pictures. But, I knew that if someone out there really wanted to, they could figure out a way to steal them and to remove the watermark. But I felt as if I had taken all the measure I could with the knowledge that I had to keep them from being taken.

Then after some “identity theft” happened with the Sartin’s my husband and I really started discussing about how much I should be posting and sharing in general. Down came a lot of pictures on Facebook. Then, I stopped posting as many pictures on this blog as well as my other blog (meant for family only). I still wanted to keep this blog up and just post a few pictures here and there. My daughter is my joy, and this blog is a way for me to share that with you, and as a way to document her life. I plan to print out this blog and have it made into a journal. But now blogger has this new “Lightbox” feature that lets you view pictures from someone’s posts. This wouldn't have been so bad if they had left the image URL hidden. But no, that’s not the case. So now anyone that views ANY image of mine can click on the link, and then right-click to save my picture. This is not something I signed up for. There is no way to disable this feature either so I’m in a bit of a pickle.

I really hate being so paranoid and I don’t care if some steals a picture of me because I’m nothing special. Hubba, hubba. But my daughter is my daughter. I don’t need some bored teenager trying to play off that she’s theirs. I don’t want some sick pervert to come across the images and save them. And lastly, I don’t want Emery to be forced into being thrown out into the internet. She doesn’t have her own choices yet and I as her mother really need to do my best to protect her. So I have decided that if I post pictures of her, they will not show her face. I don't know if I'll be taking down any of the previous pictures or just replacing them with others. But, I feel like this is a good thing to do in order to protect my little one. Plus, the risk that comes with doing nothing at all is just not worth it me. I'd rather try to be more private than throw everything out there when it comes to her. 

Wordless Wednesday

Scatterbrained

College is starting to be more of a pain in the butt then I had expected. It’s only been a month and already I’m feeling a bit scatterbrained. Not because it’s too much of a work load, but because it makes my schedule pretty freakin' tight. It’s completely flipped our routine around. I have obligations and responsibilities at home, with my family, and at work that need just as much attention (if not more) than what I’m giving my classes. This whole school thing has really thrown me for a loop, and it’s taking a toll on my daughter in a negative way.

Emery is starting to have these “clinging” episodes. Not sure what the actual term is. On the days that I have school I have to be at work earlier than usual so my mother takes Emery to the babysitters and picks her up. I have to sneak out of the house or Emery starts screaming. Can you imagine having to sneak out so you’re kid can’t see you? No “bye byes” or kisses. Makes me feel kind of crappy. Then, on days that I don’t have school, I drop her off and pick her up, but when I drop her off she starts crying. We’ve NEVER had this problem before. She used to love being at the sitters. Now, once we’re back home she just wants to cling to my leg. If she sees me walk out of the room or house she starts screaming and crying. Nothing calms her down until I come back in. Same goes for bedtime. I feel like she thinks I’m leaving her. And this really kills me.

She's also having her sleep routine disturbed. When I’m home, I make sure she’s up till at least 8-8:30 pm before letting her fall asleep. This was the routine because it was early enough for her to not be all fussy, and yet late enough to guarantee she slept in until 7 am. My mother on the other hand, lets her do whatever she wants. She can nap right when she gets home, or she can go to bed early. I’ve talked to her about it, but she says she feels bad for keeping her up when she wants to go to sleep. I can scold as much as I want, but in the end my mother/father will do as they please. And since I’m not there, I can’t stop it. My husband won’t actually tell them to stop, because he feels like it’s not his place to scold my parents. But then, I get to hear it all afternoon. This disruption in her sleep schedule, is kicking my ass too. Sometimes she’s up at 3 am, or sometimes she’s up at 5 am. Then there are times when she sleeps in from being so tired or not getting enough sleep. Those days are rough, let me tell ya. 

My workout routine has almost. On days that I don’t have school, I haven’t even been able to go work out. This is starting to irritate me. I feel like my muscles are all knotted up, and I’m starting to have that “always tired” feeling. I need that release. Without it, I’m not a happy camper. I get frustrated more easily, or I get really crabby when I don’t have some way to burn off that extra energy. But on my time off, I’m trying to clean, do laundry, focus on Emery, and catch up on some homework. I feel like there just isn’t enough hours in the day!

To top it off, this week I got my first bad grade in computer class. I was told that I just needed my basic Microsoft Office 2010. So, I didn’t buy it at the bookstore because I already had it on my computer. Then, when I started on this weeks assignment, it turns out I needed the “suites” version. Do you know how much that “upgrade” costs? $230! What was left over of my financial aid is already being taken out to be mailed back to me, so I can’t use it. I tried buying some notebooks with it and ended up having to pay out of pocket because of this. I can not afford to spend $230 right now. So, I submitted only half of what was needed. And it was already late because I thought that our office had the suites version so I thought I could just do the two sheets I had left after work. Turns out we didn’t have the programs. Yay me. My gosh, I can't believe it's only Tuesday too. I’m already ready for Friday. 

Motivation!

Last week was a bad one in regards to my “diet”. My husband and my checks weren’t very good at the beginning of the week because of our hours and also because I was sick and left early from work one day. I get paid every Monday, and he get’s paid every Friday. After paying our bills, paying my parents, and gas screwing us over we had very little left over for groceries. I made sure to get Emery’s essentials first, and then shopped for us. On a budget of less than $100. For the most part, we hit up the dollar menu’s, or went without.

But as you all know, those dollar menu’s aren’t healthy at all. Jack In The Box has this breakfast platter for $3, that’s off the chain!! No lie. So the calories totally killed me. I didn’t even bother to weigh in last week. I probably should have, to announce my failure, but I’m doing some damage control to get my ass back into gear. It started last Thursday. During this week, I’ll do a weigh in just to see what I’m working with.

On the bright side: I can still feel the difference in my clothes! They’re starting to fit a lot better so I’m pretty pleased with that! I came up with this new strategy for motivation. I’m constantly on my phone, checking emails, Facebook, blogging, checking the weather, or messages. So, I decided to put an old picture of myself as my background to give myself motivation and keep me away from the sweets. Visually seeing myself at that size really kicks my ass. Seeing it makes me realize that I’ve been smaller before, and I can do it again. It might not be easy, but it is possible. Here’s the picture I used:

This was me right before I moved to California. It seems like forever ago, but it’s only been 4 years! Now, I know I might not actually get down to that exact size. Vaginal child birth kind of throws your hips out a bit, but I want to get as close as possible! And I want to be consistent with this! I want to be able to eat healthy and make smart choices all of the time. No slip ups! Hopefully both of these will be achieved before the end of the year!

Breaking Dawn Trailer

The clock is ticking and I can't wait!! I saw this new trailer a few days ago, and thought I should share!

Happy Friday!!

The Ride Will Have To Wait (pity party time)

I can’t do it. I couldn’t take my parents money. Not because I didn’t want to, I would have if I had been able to agree to the terms of the “loan” but because I’m just not ok with paying my parents back with all of our income tax return. We need that money to settle with the credit card company and with my car loan company. Not to mention our medical bills and Emery’s medical bills. From when she was born. I need to fix my credit if we ever want to get our own place again. Most apartment complexes around here do credit checks now, and banks won’t let you buy a house if you’re credit is down the shitter. I need to clear mine up if I ever want to get out of this “shack” we live in.

I could pay them off, monthly like you would a bank, but that’s not what they were thinking/wanting. So, I’m not doing it. The whole processes is frustrating because I really need a car. It’s coming to the point where my parents will take back their truck because it wasn’t meant to be used to go to Stephenville everyday much less Weatherford twice a week. Their truck was suppose to be their weekend/special occasion truck. My dad wants to not have too many more miles put on it. I don’t blame him. We’ve had enough time to gather up some money to put towards a car but shit happens. Unexpected expenses (lawyer, court fees, hospital bills, doctor visits) kind of kicked our asses last year (some this year too) and we’re still paying for them.

Today “depression” really hit me. This is so fucking sad. I know people have it worse, and I should be grateful that my family is together and healthy. But what kind of mom does this make me? I can’t even afford to provide my family with a decent home with a working toilet or hot water! Our “house” is a joke. I can’t afford to get a car because a bank won’t loan me the money, and those “we finance” dealerships are out of their MINDS when it comes to payments. I owe my parents over $3,000 already. The real reason I’m probably losing weight is because some days I go without eating meals because I can’t afford to spend more than $100 on groceries. $60 of that is Emery’s necessities (diapers, milk, lunches/dinners). I went so far as to think about entering a bunch of contests in hopes that maybe I’d win some cash or, if I were super lucky, a car! Then I read about how the government taxes the shit out of stuff that you “win” so I decided against it. Yea, can you believe I even looked it up?? I’m a desperate woman.

I’ve even been flirting with the idea of dropping out of college or just not going back next semester. We could really use that extra $100 a week that we spend on gas. Maybe I could go back next summer, or at least after we get everything paid off? I don’t know. I’m just at a loss as to what to do?? Yes, I’m feeling sorry for myself. But, hey, I’m allowed every once in awhile, when shit gets really hard. You can tell I’m upset because I used way to many curse words in this post.

p.s. Fuck, CANCER. 

Please pray for Regan and her parents.

I Need A Ride

You’re probably tired of me complaining about gas and money problems, huh? If so, feel free to skip this first part of the post. Any who, I’ve talked about our gas dilemma, and my financial worries ever since starting school. Well, last weekend my parents wanted me to get some flea treatments for Sampson because he’s been scratching lately. When I told them it would have to wait they immediately wanted to know why I couldn’t afford to buy them. They always want to know everything about our lives. I told them about our low checks, and how it would just have to wait till this week. The lectures started. My parents didn’t understand why my husband just didn’t go and find another job if his current one was cutting his hours. But finding a job in this town is not that easy and that recent cut in hours was only temporary. I, on the other hand, don’t really have a choice because I have to go to class. So I just told them that we couldn't help it. This was how it was going to be for a little while. Now, I’m appreciative that my husband is steadily gaining his hours back each week and he should be back to his full forty hours by next week! But that doesn't change the fact that we’re still taking a hit on gas cost. I spent $180 just in gas, during last week. My husband spent at least $90. That’s a lot of dough!

So my parents decided to come up with their own “plan”. They would lend me $4,000 to find myself a used car. I love them and I am so grateful for their help, but I feel like this will put us in an even bigger hole financially. When I told my mom about my hesitation, she said “We already sent for the money and we’ve set up a time this weekend to go look at an ‘SUV’ in town.” In the meantime, I was told to look around. Dealerships don’t ever have anything nice with low miles for less than $10,000 so I quickly quit looking at those, and the real search began. I looked through Cars.com, Auto Trader, and Craigslist. I browsed a few local small dealerships, and some “on the side of the road-for sale by owner” ones. Unfortunately, with less than $7,000 my options were very limited. Still, I found a few that could possibly work. They didn’t have the greatest mileages, but were still in decent condition. My mother’s been looking as well, and now we’re just trying to weed out the bad ones.

Still, this search has left me feeling a bit frustrated and exhausted. My parents want to find something this weekend, and I don’t have the energy to be going all over Texas to try out cars. But I should be grateful that I’m even getting the chance to get one. I wanted a car, 4 cylinder, that would get me GREAT gas mileage. But my dad said he doesn’t trust small cylinder cars with high mileages. Then my mother said with us having Emery we should look into a small SUV with 6 cylinders because they's have more room and still get decent MPG. So that’s what we’ve been looking into. We’ve emailed and called a few potentials but either they’ve been sold or we haven’t heard back. It’s been such a hassle! Car shopping is so not fun when you’re broke, lol!

I’m almost tempted to just get the Ford Escape my parents checked out just to be over this already. I can’t believe I’m actually doing it though. I'm still pretty hesitant about the whole situation. I'm suppose to pay them back with our tax return for next year, but I don't think I can afford to give them our entire tax return. I'm a bit concerned about that. I swear I’m going to have to let them enslave me just to pay them back for everything they’ve helped me with. I’m going to owe them for the rest of my life. Ugh! Wish me luck, please?! 

Almost Picked a Fight With a Toddler

Kids can be mean. I know this, I've always known this. And once you have your own kid, that meanness will come to your front door a few times (unless your kids the one being mean). But, I honestly didn't know how young it started.

Emery’s behavior has changed quite a bit in the past few months and I didn’t get why. After a few weeks, I’m not gonna lie, I got a bit frustrated at times with her attitude. She had always been perfectly fine with me not holding her, listening when we said no, and she never lifted a finger towards another child/adult. She was always wanting to do everything on her own. Occasionally she’d have a bit of a temper tantrum, and since she was having more teeth come in I summed up her moods as the on comings of the “terrible twos” and a bad case of teething. It was nothing out of ordinary and like I said the tantrums were only so often. She’s now become more clingy, she hits, pulls hair, and she cries when you take things away or don’t give her what she wants. The crying has been an EVERY day thing. It gets a bit exhausting. 

Well, this past weekend we were invited to go to our babysitter’s daughter’s Sweet 15 party. Once we got there, 2 of the 4 other kids our babysitter takes care of were there. Immediately, Emery wanted to go play with them. So, I let her go. Since this was a pretty big hall, and two of the exits were wide open, my husband and I took turns watching her while still trying to be polite and social. I honestly have no clue how some of those parents just let their kids run around with no supervision. Some little ones managed to sneak outside! We noticed that the two kids were leading her around, and at times yanking her by her arm. So my husband, went over and kind of supervised the kids. When he came back, a few minutes later, they were helping her climb up the stairs. They are old wooden stairs, and they don’t have railings. So, my husband went and got her down. Then, they would try and lead her outside. My husband and I both went and told the other kids that Emery had to stay inside. They could only go outside if I or my husband were with her. They said they understood. Five minutes later, they’re trying to lead her outside again. Keep in mind, that they’re still yanking her around by her arms. 

I finally had enough, and brought Emery to our table. She was all red, but she seemed to be having fun. Giggling and laughing. She kept wanting to go back with the other kids and play, but we made her eat some food, and get some water before getting back to playing. When I finally let her out of the chair, she immediately ran to the other little girl that our sitter takes care of. That little girl yanked Emery by her arm so hard that Emery almost fell over. So my daughter gave a bit of a grunt, and pulled her arm back. The little girl smacked her arm, and walked away. I was flabbergasted (yea I totally just used that word). Emery looked at me in confusion, and then followed the little girl. Now, I don’t know what was going through my kids head, but it looked like the smack was something she was used to because she kept following that little girl and laughing. She was kind of running around, and babbling her own little language. Well, don’t you know that little girl starts walking behind her and shoving her. Repeatedly! Finally she shoved her so hard that Emery fell flat on her face. At this point, I’m pissed. So, as I started walking over, my husband said he’d go instead. We looked back over to our daughter and that little girl was trying to drag her by her hair!! I was livid. My husband ran over, and picked Emery up. He told the little girl that it wasn’t nice to pull other kids hair and he brought Emery back.

That little girl’s parents weren’t even paying attention! They were too busy taking photographs, and talking. Emery sat with us for awhile, but we felt it was unfair for her to watch other kids playing, and her have to sit and do nothing. Eventually, my husband talked me into letting her down to play with one of the little boys that kept asking if she could. He said “I take care of her.” So, I explained no yanking and no going outside. It was a good ten minutes before that little girl came up behind them, and shoved Emery again. This time it was in front of her parents, and it caused Emery to fall on her knees. Do you know what those parents did? They said “No, no” and walked away. WTH!??! Seriously?!?! That’s it?! That’s all you’re going to say, “No”?? 

I was pissed off. My husband finally went over and told the kids to keep Emery right by our table. And I wanted nothing more than to take that little girl over my knee. But she’s not my kid, and I’d get in trouble. Still, I now see where Emery’s behavior is coming from. I never really put it together that her attitude changed about a month or two after that little girl started going to our sitter’s. But after watching that little girl and how she treated other kids, and how she was treating Emery I see where it’s coming from. And it explains why Emery’s face and neck were all scratched up a few weeks ago. 

I don’t blame the babysitter. If a parent says that you can’t spank their kid, you can’t spank. And that little girl is sneaky! She looks around to see if her parents are watching before she does anything. She’s not even 5 years old yet!! This is crazy scary! And now, I don’t know what to do about it. Emery isn’t old enough to understand the whole “bully” concept, or how to stick up for herself. I can’t afford to put her in a daycare, and my sitter would be heart broken (they’ve become like family). So, I’m at a loss really. How do you address these issues, and make them stop? And how do you teach a 19 month old how to defend themselves when they don't really understand what's going on?

9/11

I was in my eighth grade science class.
I remember seeing the second plane hit as it actually happened.
I remember hearing the bodies hit the ground with a pop.
And even though I was thousands of miles away, and I didn't know any of those people personally, I came home and cried.

No one deserved that.

I will always remember.

Short and Sweet

I’m at a bit of a crossroad in life. A lot of changes, new responsibilities, and a few decisions are all waiting for me. Some have actually started without my knowing. I won’t go into too many details because I still like to keep some things private. Just know that I’m going through some stuff at the moment so if I don’t always post, or if I don’t always make sense that’s why.

We got news about Full Sail, and it wasn’t good. My husband was able to get financial aid, but it was nowhere near enough. He would still have to take out a $9,500 loan each semester just to cover the rest. Times that by 6, and we’re looking at $57,000 in school loans. We’d be in debt for the rest of our lives. So now we’re looking at scholarship options and maybe other schools. Unfortunately, what he wants to do has very limited schooling options. 

I’m still a bit sick. That overnight weather change really did me in. Still, I’m enjoying it because it’ll be over after tomorrow. *sad face* Classes this week went well. On Tuesday my history teacher didn’t make it so I was home early. Meh, this just means I actually have to read the chapters instead of hearing her lecture. I wouldn’t mind it so much if I didn’t already have to read my computer and psychology chapters. Eh. Other than that, I got nothing. So I’ll end this post now. Happy Friday everyone!! 

Stressin That Money!

I stated before that we operate with one car, and my parents are allowing me to use their truck for work and school. As grateful as I am for that it’s killing me when it comes to gas. I alone am spending over $140 a week. Factor in my hubby going to and from work, another $90, and that’s about half of my pay check. More so now that I won’t be getting a full 40 hour week. So now money is an issue again. *sigh* Before, we had enough to set aside in our savings for emergencies. But with the recent hit in our paychecks, we haven’t had much of anything left over.

So my conclusion is that I need a gas saving car. Too bad they cost money, huh? DAMN! Not just any gas saving car, either. I need a reliable one. I don’t want to risk a tire popping off, or to be left stranded on the side of the road. Especially if I have Emery with me. And as strict as my teachers are, I can’t afford to miss classes. So I need a car that won’t breakdown or cost me more in repairs than it’s worth (like our current vehicle). Unfortunately, most of these you find in dealerships, and they’re way over $1,000, which is more than I have saved up at the moment. We can’t afford payments and even if we could, my credit sucks! So, I’m pretty much in a shitty situation.

I miss my old car. I miss only using $40 a week in gas. I miss having my OWN transportation. And after already spending over $100 in gas this week, I’m wishing we still had it. I’m still pissed at the repair shop that didn’t actually “repair” the car correctly, causing my car to crash. I’m pissed off at the loan company, for adding “interest” to my total cost. This is one of the reasons why my credit now sucks. And I’m pissed off at my insurance company for not thinking it was “worth the money” to fight the repair shop in court, or pay the full amount to the loan company. Yea...I’m still a bit bitter about the whole thing.

This isn't actually my car, but mine was exactly the same as this one. Down to the window tint and "spoiler".

I was left without a car, no money to buy another car, and in debt. This has not been a very fun experience. It really hurt us in the long run. Now, I know I can’t dwell on the past, and I can’t focus on the “what ifs”. But on days like this, I can’t help but think of how much easier that second car would have made things. How much more convenient it would have made every day life. My parents could have their truck back, and I wouldn’t be skipping meals in order to afford gas for the week. Ugh!!

I know other people have it worse, and truly I am so grateful for all of the blessing I’ve received. I’m just a little on edge, and a bit concerned with our finances. Things are costing more than what we’re making and on top of that, we found out we still owe the court some money. I’m tired, my brain hurts, and I’m trying to adjust to this new schedule of mine. So, I just needed to write this to get it off my chest. Hope you guys have had a better week! One more day before the weekend, YAY! 

Wordless Wednesday

Feeling A Little Puny, But Better!

This past weekend was awesome! We all had a three day weekend, and for the first time in what seems like years, the temperature didn’t go above 90°! We had a 64°start on Sunday and Monday. Then, this morning I actually had to bust out the hoodies! Oh, it was so nice. I didn’t even complain about being sick because I was so thankful we were getting some nice weather!

Last week Em came home sick. Runny nose, fever, coughing. Since both of our immunity system’s suck I caught it by Thursday. My symptoms also included body aches, sore throat, and chills. Friday was brutal, and the boss man had me leave early. I spent most of Friday and Saturday doped up on Alka-Seltzer 20 mg because they work so much better than Dayquil and Nyquil. I’m still not 100%, but I’m a lot better than I was on Friday.

Needless to say, we did pretty much NOTHING all weekend. Seriously, the dirty clothes are still in the hamper. I’ll just have to tackle it slowly during the week. Emery still has a runny nose but she’s almost back to her 100%. I can’t wait to have us both better. A sick mommy and an irritable baby make for a really crappy time. Ha! We spent most of yesterday watching The Jersey Shore Marathon. And today I have my first official “full class schedule”. I can already tell I’m going to need a 5 Hour shot to get me through the afternoon. It’s going to be a miserable day. 

Last week I saw an accident (not it actually happening, just right after), and by the way the cops were acting (no one helping the person in the car) I’m guessing he/she didn’t make it. There was blood, I saw the person’s hands, and the car was flattened. This shook me up a little bit. The reality of how far I’m traveling, the road conditions, and just how much higher the odds are of me getting into an accident really got to me. I spent a good extra amount of time this morning hugging Em, telling her I loved her, and smothering her with kisses. Because we just never know. 

We’re still trying to figure out money issues. I’m still freaking out over the fast pace of these courses. But, So far I’ve done pretty well. I scored an 88% on my first psychology quiz, 100% in everything else. Our car hasn’t broken down (knocks on wood)! Last week my husband applied to Full Sail University for recording, and he submitted his financial aid. Now we’re just waiting to see if it’ll cover his tuition. *crossing fingers* Send him some good vibes, will ya? Thanks in advance! And that’s about all we’ve got going on right now. Hope everyone else had a wonderful three day weekend!

Wait!? What? Slow Down!

My head is spinning. I have a huge migraine and it’s only been the first full week of classes. Two of which I do at home. So why does my brain feel like it’s about to explode? Too much information, too little time. I had completely forgotten what school had been like. I forgot about the stress, the tests, and what happens if you don’t get good grades. In the real world we don’t have those! But on Tuesday, for my first day of classes, it all came back to me.

Tuesday went well for my first day. I actually like my math teacher. He was simple, told us to not miss a class, do our homework, and log 12 hours a semester in tutoring. Pass our test and all would be dandy. Just sit and learn. He’d be able to tell if we needed help by the homework we turned in or we could talk to him about it ourselves. Whichever we preferred. Then, came History class. I loved my teacher, until she opened her mouth. Ok, maybe not right when she did, because at first she sounded great. But she got into her rules, how she expected certain things out of us, and it went downhill from there. She’s a sweet old lady, that’s a bit of a hard-ass, and doesn’t believe in letting us out early the way “other teachers would”. In fact, she likes to go over the time limit. Hahaha! Silly lady, don’t you know I still have an hour and a half drive back home?! Then, she says that we have to participate by getting up in front of the class and discussing things. I hate “public speaking” with a passion. This will count as 10% of our grade. We will cover two chapters a night, review, and have a quiz. Joy. She ended the class by letting us out early for this first day because not everyone had their books yet and she wanted us all up to the same speed. Yea, on Wednesday I felt like my head had been bashed in with a slugger.

The only thing I see myself having a problem with, after this first week, is time. Everything is so fast paced, and I literally have a quiz each week, in each class. They expect us to absorb a lot of information in a very short time period. This is not my strong suit. I learn by reading and taking notes. I go pretty slow in order to retain everything. So, I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to do this? I foresee several 5 HOUR shots in my future. My new sleep (or lack of) schedule is already kicking my ass.

I know this is going to be hard, and I can tell that it’s going to affect things at home a bit more than I had expected. My mother expressed some concerns out loud that I had in my head, and it made me realize that I hadn’t been the only one thinking it. There’s a lot on my plate right now. I missed my bug so much on Tuesday too! I called between classes just to see how she was doing. She’s getting sick again. And I got out early too. Can you imagine next week when it’s a full class? Oh man...

Despite everything, I liked learning. Getting smacked with some knowledge isn’t all that bad. And at any point that I kept feeling like it was “too much”, I would think of Emery. I would think of my husband. I’m doing this for them, for us as a family, and for me. So college can bring it on because I have my big girl britches on!! 

Booooo!

I'm sick (thank you Emery). I have two quizzes due this weekend. 

This will not be fun.

Ready For Fall!!

Our Texas summer has been brutal! When I was driving home at 9 pm on Tuesday night, the temperature was 95°. Yea, at 9 PM! I don’t know about you, but for me, this heat has got to go! We haven’t been able to enjoy as many bike rides or afternoons on the porch like we've had in the past. And it’s effected a lot of farmers, ranchers, and livestock owner around here in a really bad way. Some ranchers have had to move, some have had to sell their livestock, and we've had a lot of fires. This has not been a good summer for any of us. Usually our summer's are scattered with a few storms here and there, but this year we had maybe 3 storms total?

So, I’m hoping that this Fall is a wet one. We need the rain, and some relief from these really hot 118° days. I'm ready to get back on my bike at a decent hour to go for a ride with my baby girl (we attempted one yesterday but we had to make several stops for water). I'm ready to go for runs outside. And I'm so ready for jeans, boots, and sweaters! Which also means a new wardrobe for Emery! Ahh, the joys of having a girl, LOL! 

Come on Fall, hurry up already!!