Progress and Setbacks

Back in February I weighed 170 lbs. I lost 3 lbs., and then in March I went back up. I still haven’t worked up the courage to take another picture of myself (again) to show my progress though. I feel like I have a lot more to go, physically and mentally, before I can do that again. But on the bright side, I have lost weight since I started getting back into my routine. I’ve since lost 5 lbs. in a little over a month. This wasn’t as much as I had hoped, but enough to keep my motivation at “full speed”. I keep having to remind myself that I have to have control if this is going to work. And yet, at the same time, I need to know it’s ok if I go over my calories, or miss a work out so long as I make it up. We all have bad days, and I’m no exception.

For the most part, I’m feeling better. I’m preparing my snacks for the day early in the morning before work. I’ve tried to cut back on my meat intake. I limit myself to either turkey, angus, or chicken breast ONCE a day if at all. The angus is very (very) limited, but sometimes I want need a burger. But the majority of my diet is pretty much veggies and fruits. I also started taking the “back way” to work, which is just a two lane road that cuts through the country. I do this so I won't pass ANY fast food or convenience stores on my way to and from work. This has helped out my wallet, and I don’t make any impulse stops. I still drink my sweet tea BUT I also limit that too. I’ve been doing this for almost two weeks now, and I can feel a change in the way my body feels (inside). I’m not so tired, and my migraines aren’t as frequent. That alone tells me I'm going in the right direction.

But how my body feels (outside) is another matter altogether. I still haven’t gone to see a chiropractor because we really can’t afford to spend the money on a visit right now. So my back continues to be an annoyance. It comes and goes which really irritates me. I can be mid-run when all of a sudden my back feels like it’s about to give out. Have you ever had that sensation where a bone feels like it needs to be popped, but if you bend to much it hurts? Well that’s how my back feels. I’ve tried pushing through the pain in hopes that it would indeed pop, but it never does. It's gotten to the point where I can’t even put Emery in her crib because I can’t bend below the waist without it hurting. I’m hoping as soon as my husband gets his next job, I’ll be able to go have someone “readjust” me and pop my body back in place. Fingers crossed.

Then, I have the issue of shin splints. Or what I think are shin splints. When I was younger and played basketball, I had these two bumps/knots that would appear on my shins. They caused a lot of pain. When I talked to my coach and a doctor (who didn’t actually look me over) they said I had “shin splints”. I iced and I rested, but they didn't go anywhere. The pain subsided. Sometimes, they didn’t hurt at all and the bumps were hardly noticeable. But they never really went away. Even on days that I had no pain at all I could still feel tiny bumps where the bigger ones would usually come in. They haven’t been very bad, and before two weeks ago they hardly ever flared up. But last week, after hitting the one mile mark on Wednesday, I was in pain. My legs would barely carry me and they wobbled a lot. I had to cut my run short.

Now, every time I go for a run, my shins start to really hurt around 1.5 miles. I push through it because I know these bumps are the cause. If they weren’t in existence I would be going much farther and probably a bit faster. I know this because I’m never really tired or out of breath when I stop running. I just can’t handle the shooting pain going up my legs anymore, so I stop. And even afterwards, when I’m just walking to cool down, I get a cramping feeling in them. Not sure if that’s even possible, but it sure does feel like cramping. I’m hoping with some icing that they’ll go back down soon. Or at least stop hurting. I’m also looking into getting new running shoes so maybe that will help? In the end I may just need to go see a doctor to get some meds for them. Either way, I need to figure out something for all of these aches and pains because I’m only 24, and they’re really putting a cramp in my fitness game. And we all know dieting will only get me so far.

Happy Friday!

Whoa! It’s Friday! I’m pretty excited about this. This week was not the greatest, school wise. I found out that I made a 50, on one of my History quizzes. It’s a long story, but lets just say that my teacher was gone for two weeks and then we got a “surprise” quiz from a substitute. Then I was totally lost on this past weeks 5th chapter quiz so I’m pretty sure I probably got another 50. Eh. It’s been rough. I get today, and maybe tomorrow off from studying. I hit the books again on Sunday.

I ran 3.2 miles last Sunday because I needed it. I felt fat, lazy, and really gross. I was tired and just needed that release. So, I hit the treadmill and it was awesome. Yesterday, I was only able to do 2 miles because my husband had to get some stuff done. Also, with my schedule I’ve realized that running will only be doable on Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays. And that can change depending on plans. So I’m trying to find time. I felt so much better after running that I know I can’t stop. I may not be a marathon runner, but I get something out of 3 miles. That’s enough for me.

Emery had a stomach bug at the beginning of this week I think. She had a whole day of acting normal but not eating or drinking hardly anything. The sitter said she just refused to eat. A few sips of her yogurt, half a bottle (for the whole day), and 3 strawberries. That’s it. And, at the end of the day, around 7:30, she said “UP” and started trying to climb up on the bed. So I put her in bed and she grabbed her pacifier, kicked her shoes off, pulled the covers up to her neck, and fell asleep. Whoa! That never happens. Bed time isn’t usually till 8:00 for her, and we ALWAYS have to read a book before turning all of the lights off. She’ll fall asleep about 10-20 minutes after lights out. So that behavior earlier this week was a bit...weird. It was a little too grown up for me, too. Thankfully, she’s now back to her usual self and bed time rituals have gone back to normal.

We still haven’t gotten a vehicle. I’m a bit tired of looking for other cars so I just told my parents that the escape we had looked at locally would be fine. We were suppose to go sign papers on Monday, but my dad took it for a test drive and found a problem with it. So the guy said he’d get it fixed and pass it through an inspection. Then we can go back and try it out. Fingers crossed that it will be sometime next week and hopefully there won’t be any problems with it after that for awhile. 

Today, I feel sick. Bloated, food tastes bland, and I think I might throw up. Hopefully, I didn’t catch what Emery had. But if I did I hope it only lasts 24 hours. Tomorrow I fully plan on getting up early, going for a run, and then doing some DEEP cleaning. The house is a mess, we’re out of clean towels, and we’re down to the last set of sheets. Plus, the drastic changes in weather recently (one day hot, one day rain, one day with a high of 70) has me in full “spring cleaning” mode, only instead of spring it’ll be for winter. I need to get rid of clothes, and random crap that we just don’t need anymore. Plus that computer room is in some much needed rearranging. Our house needs tending so it’ll be a full day of cleaning. But I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy it. Hope your week has been wonderful! 

Runner

I love running. I feel like that’s my “me time”. For thirty minutes of every other day, I go for a run and I get my energy boost. I also get to burn off some calories and stress. It gives me time to think about things, cool down if I’m angry, or just run out the frustrations of the day. It had definitely improved my energy level, and I was feeling so good!

I’m by no means, a runner. I feel like I’d be insulting that title for those out there that really truly are hardcore runners. But, my goal for this summer was to get myself ready for a 5k and then start training to do a half marathon. I told myself, if I could run 5 miles in high school with no problem, I could get back into shape and try for a 13.1 mile run. In due time of course. Then once that was accomplished, maybe in a few years, I’d start my adventure on running a full marathon. It’s a dream and a “goal” of mine. Now when I say “goal”, I mean that if it doesn’t happen I won’t beat myself up over it. I’m content with just achieving my old 5-mile run! So, I had all these plans and I had started on my 30-day “eat clean” diet. Then, shit hit the fan and my diet took a back seat. After that, I ended up getting heat exhaustion on a run so I took a few days off. Ever since then, I’ve been burnt out.

My 9-minute miles have turned into 10-11 minute miles. My shin splits started hurting again, and I my breathing is all off! I feel as if I’m not getting deep enough breaths. Sometimes, my chest feels like it’s tightening and I have to stop. Or, I’ll get a shooting pain in my side from not breathing correctly. I was doing at least 2 miles when I went out, but now I can’t even get past the first one. I literally feel like I’m stalling out. I don’t know how to fix this, either? My brother said it could be that I’m sticking to repeated routes or it could be my playlist (never changing it). But, I can’t just drive back into town to go for a run, that’s a waste of gas. And I know the lake has some trails, but I twist my ankles enough on flat ground. So, I try to go for runs around my tiny little town, that way I’m not gone for too long. I take my thirty minutes, and then I’m back, still having plenty of time to do any chores left and fit in a shower.

So now, I need to figure this out. Before, I was so motivated! When I’d get home I’d be dressed in my running gear, sunscreen on, iPod ready, and stretching out the kinks. I’d hit the pavement and the first two miles would be easy. Now, I have very little motivation to even go for a run because I don’t like the pains I’m getting. Once I do get out I find myself not being able to push through my mile, and my pace has gotten slower. This is frustrating me! I feel like I start out good, but even before I hit .5 miles, I start having these problems.

I’m not sure what’s going on? I’ve been reading some running magazines, but so far haven’t really seen anything that has my “symptoms”. So I don’t know if I need to see a doctor, or if I just need to take more than a few days off? Or is my brother right, do I need a change of scenery and playlist? I hope I figure it out soon! I’m so ready to get back on the saddle and start on my 5k’s again!  

Heat Exhaustion

It happened.

And it really really sucked.

Last week, Wednesday to be exact, I went for a run. At first, I felt great. Then at around 1 mile, my legs started shaking. My right arm got really tingly. At 1.49 miles, I stopped because my legs started wobbling. This has never happened before. I walked the rest of the way home, and my legs were in pain. Like, someone had stabbed my calves. I decided I need to slow down. To rest my legs, and take a break for a few days. Saturday morning, I decided to go for a run. It seemed like I had had 2 days to recoup, so I should have been fine. I did a mile run, and my legs started feeling funny again. Ok, maybe I needed a longer break?

Well, this Wednesday I went for a run again. Since I hadn’t run in 3 days, I figured I’d be ok to start back up. I stretched, turned on my Nike app, and I was off!! I felt amazing! I hit one mile, and I still felt like I had a spring in my stride. So, onward I went. I really shouldn’t have done that. Not only did I not take water with me (I was only supposed to do a mile), but it was about 95° out. I hit a little over 1.5 miles and my fingers went numb. Both arms were tingly, and then I felt my legs start to get that “stabbing” feeling again. By two miles, my chest felt like it was so tight and my head felt like it was going to explode. My arms were numb, and my fingers were HUGE! I stopped and walked the rest of the way home.

When I finally got home, the pain hadn’t stopped and I felt like what I imagine having a heart attack would feel like. I went into my brother’s room because our room wasn’t as cold yet. I felt like I needed something COLD to fix me up. Make me feel better. Turns out that was a bad move. My brother and Kim saw the swelling, and when I told them how I felt I was instructed to immediately lay down and elevate my feet. They gave me some warm water, and my brother said my body was entirely too hot. Then, the pain in my back started. It hurt to move and I felt like I was going to throw up. After about thirty minutes of laying there the feeling in my arms came back. My legs weren’t in as much pain, my headache had dulled down, and my chest didn’t feel so tight. But, I was freezing. It was 89° out and I needed a jacket. A side effect my brother said is normal. He said when this happened to him, his body temperature was off for a few days. The past two days have left me totally understanding what he meant. It’s been 80°-100° outside, 75° inside our office, and I feel like I should have worn jeans and a sweater. My skin is cold, and I feel a little weak every now and then.

So now, I’ve learned a lesson. If it’s over 85° outside, make sure to take water with me. And if at all possible, try to go run later in the afternoon. That feeling from Wednesday just wasn’t pleasant. I need to be smarter. Had I gone farther, there is a good chance that I could have ended up having a heat stroke. And that would have sucked even more. 

We're Getting Sick, Again.

My little bird was feeling pretty crappy on Sunday night. Monday came and she was running a fever, had a runny nose, and a really nasty cough. My mother decided to stay home to take care of her, and when I got home she herself looked like, for lack of a better word, crap! Her nose was runny, she was sneezing, and she had a cough. They both looked tired and weak. Now, usually Monday afternoons I go for a one to two-mile run but yesterday I spent most of my afternoon with a baby in my hands. That was my sign that Em was definitely sick. She wanted to be in my lap the whole time, she cried and moaned randomly, and hardly ate any of her favorite foods/snacks. Night time arrived and she was feeling a little better, but I was feeling like crap. We cuddled in bed, and then her fever got up again. She cried and moaned randomly throughout the night. It was a bit heartbreaking, to not be able to fix it for her, but instead, I just cradled her until she fell back to sleep.

Today, I am feeling pretty cruddy. My nose is a bit running, my throat is sore, I have body aches, and I feel pretty tired and weak. Which is not fun. Mom’s are supposed to be “Super Heroes”, we don’t get sick, right? Then, to top it all off, my husband was complaining of a sore throat this morning. So that makes three of us total in our household that aren’t feeling very well. The last time this happened, it took us a good two months to get rid of it! So, I’m really hoping this passes! Not to mention my husband has his first show tonight!! (<--Yay!!) I’d really hate for him to not be able to perform at his best. He really, really wants tonight to go well. Plus, I don’t want to attend his first show looking/feeling like crap either. I want it to be a good night out for both of us!

Also, today is Day 2 of my “eat clean” diet! No sugar, no bread. Whole foods, meats, and lots of WATER! I’m doing this for 30 Days, along with my continued running schedule, and I hope to see good results at the end of the month!! I got the inspiration from Jess over at IROCKSOWHAT! She’s truly an inspiring lady and mommy! Now, I know we’re all different, but her continued weight loss progress has really motivated me to WANT this! I am more motivated to keep up with a healthy diet. Plus, she’s got some great recipes if you need idea’s for meals - I’ve copied a few myself! Now, I haven’t gone completely sugar free just yet because I left some sweet tea at work to kind of gradually get me off of sugar these first few days. And tonight will be interesting since the show is going to be at a club/bar. I might have myself a beer (no more than that because I’m the DD) or maybe a sweet tea? But tomorrow will be my last day of sugar (except for in fruits) for the next 30 days! Yikes!! I feel really good about this though! I’ve even got my mom to “semi” join me, lol! She’s recently been gaining a bit of weight, and diabetes runs in our family as well as obesity, so I’ve been really worried about her. She used to go for walks in the afternoons, and she’d go for 3 or 4 miles. But lately, she gets winded just walking down our side road. She’s always tired, and she’s not the healthiest eater. So my dad and I are trying to get her to stick with this diet, with me. She’s not going as “drastic” as I am, but she’s allowing me to cook her lunches and dinners. Plus, she’s agreed to go for walks with me after I’ve gotten done running. I really hope she continues this with me!

Now, it’s off to get ready for a run and then a show!! Hopefully, everything goes as planned and we are all feeling better by tomorrow!! Man, only four more days till the weekend! I’m so looking forward to a nice, slow, low key weekend too. And I better get it! LOL! Hope everyone had a great Tuesday!! 

3 Miles

I had this huge post about my exercise routine, and how things were coming along. Then the computer decided to be mean and not save it. So, to sum it all up:

I love to run but I've been feeling bad about focusing too much on getting in shape and not enough time on my little bird. So, I went out and bought a jogger. $40 at the Flea Market! Can you say, SCORE!? Unfortunately, running with a jogger takes mad skills that I do not have. I have to move my arms when running and you can't with a jogger. And I hate feeling like I'm going to trip on one of the back wheels the entire time. Plus, Emery likes to stop and look at the horses, or play with rocks and that kind of gets in the way with me trying to improve my time. Still, I use it to go on walks, my cool down laps, or when we go to the Flea Market! So, not a total loss.

*Drum roll please*

Yesterday, I ran my first 3-mile run, since high school. It was amazing! I've been building up to it and with my recent 2 or 2.3 mile runs being pretty consistent, I figured why not do the whole 3 miles this time around?! Wahoo!! I'm so feeling it in my legs today!! But every time I get that sore feeling, I smile because I did 3 MILES without stopping!! My time wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either (34:40). So my goal is to run a 5k in 30 minutes (give or take a few seconds)! I've got some work to do! But, I'm still pretty proud of myself!

Also, to help with "mixing up" my exercise routine, my brother bought me a road bike!! It's pretty sweat. I'm going to buy a few more accessories to "pimp" it out and then I might post pictures. LOL! I've been trying to go for rides after I've done like a mile or two running and so far I've done 8.3 miles without stopping! But, let me point out right now that even though I LOVE my bike, that sucker is heavier than shit. So, you kind of, have to give me a tiny bit of a break. I refuse to fork over $500+ on a bike! You should hear how much my brother, his girlfriend, and my dad have spent on their bikes! It's really beyond me. But I guess they're in it for life, so I'll let it slide. Anyway, my goal is to do a 12 or 13-mile ride! Maybe, I'll be ready in time for our local Dr. Pepper Tour...hmmm? (Kim, this does not mean I'm actually going to do it.)

Now, my dieting has been, crappy! I try and stay in or under my calorie budget, but it won't help if all I eat is JUNK, right? Damn! So, once we get all of this stuff with our explorer figured out (omg...don't even get me started!) and we've paid off the lawyer. I'll be spending the extra money on more groceries! But, I want to start buying strictly organic, and meals that are HEALTHY, not just the "pop in the microwave and go" kind. And, I'm going to start dedicating time to preparing our meals. Which will probably keep me up later, but hopefully it'll help us save money too. So as for weight loss, I'm still holding at 171 lbs. I'm still chubby and I still giggle. Meh.

p/s I bought a bike trailer this past weekend, AT THE FLEA MARKET, for 20 bucks (score!) and we're in the process of fixing a strap on it. Then, it'll be ready to go! It literally looks brand new, and that's without me cleaning it yet. So once it's ready, I'll polish it up a bit, and the EMERY can come with me on short (eventually long) rides! Pretty excited about this!! 

Just Keep Running

So, now that Em is starting to get more independent (with the walking), and she has finally forgiven her dad for going back to work. It’s starting to be a lot easier for me to leave her in her room, or with my husband and not worry about her screaming her head off. Not because she doesn't scream her head off, because she still does that. But, now I just know that from what I’ve seen she is very capable of distracting herself when she wants to. I also know that there’s nothing actually hurting her, or freaking her out. This puts my mind at ease about her being alone in the room. Plus, she’s started to want to be with her daddy again. So when he’s there, she doesn’t freak out (as much). Which is a good thing! LOL! And so this means, more running for me! More work out time for me! Yay!! I had started this whole work-out plan and it fell through because Emery started getting all clingy. She would cry and cry for long periods of time, and only wanted me. Which was a bit frustrating when I had chores to do. But she didn’t even want to be with her dad, she just wanted me. I'd get behind on laundry or cleaning. I wouldn't even attempt cooking like I really truly wanted to. Then I tried to do these things with her attached to me. Yea...that didn't work!!

So with her being that way, and with trying to catch up on all the stuff left from the week before, it made finding time to work out really hard. And I refuse to be up at 4 am just to get a work out in. I love my sleep time and I would rather starve than not get my sleep. I know I said I would try, but yea, no 4 am workouts for me. However, I did decide to approach this differently and more aggressively! I’m making a "work-out schedule". I even jotted it down in my planner. Because if I don’t, then I won’t see it. And if I DON’T see it, then I don’t feel guilty about it. Which is no bueno! And I really need that running time. It helps me think and clear my head. It’s my own personal time. I just focus on running and overcoming the pain. I don’t really call myself a long distance or short distance runner because I just set a goal for myself, and then try to surpass it the following week. If I don’t, then that’s ok! I try to do half a mile and other times I do two miles, just depends on how I’m feeling. And, just working out, gives me that boost to help me feel good. To know that I’m doing something good for my body and my health! So, I hope the scheduling works out for me, and that I am able to keep up with it! I want to get better at this and maybe go farther than 2 miles? I want to push myself harder and harder!

My motivational help? I placed an old picture of myself, as well as this line on my fridge: 

Come out like a pit-bull with rabies. 

“Don't be afraid of what may or may not happen just charge at everything with all intent of conquering it.”

I read these lines over at Mama and The Dudes. The pit bull one is funny, but at the same time so true! We need to charge at everything in life! Go at it full force and know that we can do anything! I really want to conquer this weight thing. The picture is there to remind me that my goal is attainable. Because I’ve been that small before. I just need to kick my ass a bit to get back to that!

March 2007-After visiting Beau in California (not sure what that black dot on my neck is?)

Also, I’m back to watching my calorie intake, and I’m trying to cook my own lunch and dinners. Trying to eat as clean as I can, even though I slip up a few times a week. Still, baby steps. If I do go over my calorie “budget” then I work out extra that day. I’m also looking into more of a veggie diet! I want my diet during the week to be mainly veggies, fruits, and a few meats. I’m not going to starve myself or deny myself a candy every now and then. Because that will just make me feel like I’m punishing myself, and I hate that feeling! But, I’m tired of being stuck. I’m not losing or gaining weight, but I’m not at the weight I want to be at. I know I can be lighter because I’ve been there already. It just sucks that I’m going to have to work a thousand times harder this time around because I let myself go in the first place. Such is life. Now, I just need to suck it up, and really work at this. I will get to my goal, come hell or high water!

Walking

Today was a beautiful day! Emery was being really fussy though. So we ended up going for a walk. She fell asleep after one lap!