Winding Down for the Holidays

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Our schedules are slowing down. Some. Our varsity team has ended the football season. Now it’s all about basketball and cheer competition. Work has been slowing down in some areas, but it also ramps up with many year-end tasks. We’ve had a lot of change in a short period too so everyone is ready for a break.

📸: School Website

The holidays will probably look a bit different for us this year. It’s both exciting and bittersweet. We don’t have a lot of plans, and we’ve scaled back on who we’ll visit if any visits take place at all this year. I’m hoping we don’t have to do much. And I’m actually looking forward to just being home for the most part.

This week, I found out the average cost of daycare in our area, and now I know why people don’t have more kids. I mean, I had an idea, but it wasn’t a reality I had to deal with, you know? Anyway, I get that childcare is a major undertaking and that's why it can cost a lot. I just don’t know how families can afford it these days. Especially when you know the average salaries for your area. I’m looking at ⅓ of my paycheck going to daycare costs alone. And that's IF we can get off any of the five waitlists that we are on. Yes, that is every daycare in our area.

Today, I have to wrap a few things up at work, and then we have some last-minute things to take care of when I get home this afternoon. I plan to do quite a bit of cleaning over the weekend too. Then it’s just prepping for my next doctor’s appointment on Monday, and finishing out the week before Thanksgiving Break. I'm glad things are going to be slower over the next few days. Until the next post...🦃

Wordless Wednesday

 

Hello, November

This year, October and Halloween looked different for us. Still my favorite month and holiday. I had to sit on the sidelines a lot. And I didn't really feel like decorating either. Instead, I just soaked up the vibes. I feel like October is always a "refreshing" month for me, and while I didn't get to do my normal Fall cleaning/decluttering this year I still felt like it was a transitional month.

📷: Credit

Personally, November is looking to be the month of prepping and rest. Soaking up the last few weeks before our lives really change. I'm trying to not stress so much about the little things, and enjoy my time with my family. So far, November has brought several days of rain —which I love— and another stray dog (which is not ideal). The time change also happened over the weekend, and well, our household is not a fan. But the silver lining is that we had some cool weather move in and I am here for it! If we could get some even colder weather by the time we get to the end of the month, that would be great

Professionally, November is serving as a time to “wrap things up.” Create TEAMS folders and upload documents. Train the person taking on some of my tasks while I’m out. Update instruction sheets, and assign delegates for internal approval routes. Refresh any recurring meetings with updated information. And making sure that catering is taken care of while I’m out. It’s basically a whole month of checklists. And while I am all for checklists, to-do lists, and color coding - my brain has been on the fritz lately. This is why it's taking me longer to finish things.

All of that said, I'm ready for this change in season. Emery's about to start working on her permit, and she's closing in on the end of year 14 - can you believe it? I'm both sad and excited about it. I'm ready to meet our little guy. Ready to not have so much physical discomfort. To start healing and feeling more like myself. And I'm just doing my best to take things one day at a time. Savoring all of the little moments when I can. So, here's to November! And to a wonderful start to the fall season. 🍂

Gratitude Journal // Eleven - One -Twenty Four

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for to see all of your blessings. Though, I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I take things for granted. I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

 

Cloudy days: We’ve had two days of cloudy skies this week. Then one morning we woke up to thunder and rain. And on another we had some drizzle for a few hours. I absolutely love when cold fronts blow in and I’m happy we’ve gotten some nice weather this week. It's much appreciated.

Dresses: They seem to be the only things that fit me. So, I’m grateful to have a lot of them in my closet right now. I was never a big fan of dresses before, but these days I’ll take anything comfortable and breathable.

Extended warranty: Recently, I had to take my vehicle to the shop due to an electrical issue. I know, I just got it. Thankfully, we purchased the extended warranty so we weren’t out a lot to get the issue fixed. After 6- days, she was finally ready to pick up. And let me just say, there’s something that feels so right about getting to drive your own vehicle again.

Chocolate cake: I NEED to cut back on my sugar intake, but it is so hard when all I crave is random food and chocolate. Recently, a co-worker made me German Chocolate Brownies, and a week later a lovely chocolate cake. Of course, I have shared with others. But in all honesty, if I had allowed myself, I could have eaten both of those all by myself.

Nature Sounds: So, my normal at the moment is getting awful, inconsistent sleep. And while I enjoy ASMR videos before bed, lately I’ve been more into Pink (or brown & green) Noise and Nature Sounds. I search on YouTube for one I like and flip my phone over on the window seal for the night. While I don’t stay asleep the entire night, these help me to get some short deep rest. And they help me to fall back asleep faster after I’ve woken up. It’s wreaked havoc on my “screentime” numbers, but sometimes you gotta go what you gotta do.

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? How was your Halloween? Are you in an area that’s been getting cooler temps, or snow? Or are you like us in Texas and experiencing a lot of heat? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope you have a wonderful night! Adios!

“Spend time with those who value you.” // Unknown 

❤

Wordless Wednesday

Pregnancy // The Home Stretch

We had our Family & Friend's baby shower a few weekends ago! I am so grateful to everyone who helped. My sisters planned most of it with the help of the moms. Corey cooked the meats, and everyone else threw in for sides and desserts. I've never been a fan of huge gatherings or being the center of attention, but this day was pretty special. Our baby is coming into a very large village filled with love, and I'm very thankful for that.

I have an upcoming appointment to ensure everything is going well with the baby. Then we get to discuss a birth plan and start prepping for the home stretch. The possibility of induction has been brought up, though I’m unsure if that’s the route we will take. Corey and I finally made some big decisions regarding a few things we wanted and some that we didn’t while at the hospital. We have a few more to consider and I’m hoping that the birth plan I have printed out will help us narrow things down. Still no full name though and I’m not sure we’ll know until the baby arrives.

This week I have a “Work Friends Baby Shower” that I’m looking forward to. Then my run group is throwing a diaper shower for me later in November. I’ve been trying to hold off purchasing baby stuff in case we get them as gifts, but there are still quite a few things we need to purchase. Not just for the baby but for myself too. Next weekend we’ll be getting a car seat and hopefully a dresser. Right now, the baby’s stuff is just sitting on the couch. I plan on buying a good labor & delivery kit from Kindred Bravely. And then, I’m grabbing some extra nursing pieces from Wal-Mart. Once I have those things ordered I’ll buy some essentials to start packing my hospital bag. I didn't pack very much the last time I had a baby. And honestly, that seems to be the same plan this time around. I don’t need a lot, and once we get home I have no plans to do much the first 2 weeks other than live in PJs, get Emery to/from school, and try to adjust to our new normal. So, I’m keeping it simple.

I also need to make arrangements for Emery while we’re at the hospital and possibly a few days after we get home. Thankfully, in November and December, her schedule drastically slows down. But in the newborn haze, I don’t want to drop the ball, so I need to make sure plans are in place for her. With all that said, I’ve realized I need to start making checklists. We’ve got a lot going on from now until the end of November and with pregnancy brain, I may just forget some things if I don’t write them down. So, here’s to getting to the other side with as much ready as possible. And here’s to finally entering the home stretch.

p.s. In case you missed it...it's a boy! 🍼

Wordless Wednesday

Currently // October 2024

I’m aware that this is being back-dated. I had this post ready to go and thought I had it scheduled for Tuesday of this week. However, when I got on today (Wednesday) to schedule a few upcoming posts I realized I had selected the wrong date. In fact, I had selected an entirely different month too. Pregnancy brain in full effect, y’all. Anyway, this post will appear today, but I'm dating it for Tuesday. Now, without further ado, here is the “Currently” post for the month.

Listening: A lot of Zach Bryan and Treaty Oak Revival. I select the “Zach Bryan Mix” playlist on Spotify and roll with it. A lot of new stuff has just been putting me in a funk. I can’t seem to find much that I like so I stick with what I do.

Reading: Nothing. I tried to push through and finish “It Starts With Us” by Colleen Hoover, but life has kept me pretty busy. Any downtime I get, I nap. That said, I enjoyed the part that I did read so I’m hopeful that soon, I’ll find a few others that I can jump into. And fingers crossed that I will eventually finish this dang book. 

Watching: "Agatha All Along". It’s October, and I couldn’t let it go by without watching something about witches, magick, and a bit of superhero powers. While we normally stick to classics like “Hocus Pocus,” “Halloween Town,” “Practical Magic,” “Casper,” or anything by Tim Burton this year, Agatha caught my attention. Though, as a Catholic, I did skip most of the Ouji Board/Possession episode (ep. 5 if you’re curious). So far, it's been pretty good. However, I'm interested in seeing where they take the storyline because it could either get better or take a nosedive. We shall see. 

‘Casting: I have my regular podcasts that I listen to but occasionally I’ll listen to an episode or two of “Climbing Gold” with Alex Honnold. One day I watched the documentary Free Solo and it gave me intense anxiety. But it wasn’t the bad kind, it was more like excitement mixed with a bit of fear. I was immediately fascinated by what Alex was setting out to accomplish. As I watched other rock-climbing documentaries it became very apparent that these athletes are some of the strongest (mentally and physically) people in the world. And I find them to be really interesting. I also enjoy listening to Alex and hearing his take on things. But it's also pretty neat to hear him talk about how his mind works. While we may not always have the same views, I still enjoy what he has to say. So, if you ever want to dip your toes into the rock-climbing world I highly recommend checking out his podcast.

And that concludes the “Currently” post for this month. If you have any suggestions, be sure to drop me a line either here or on any of my other social media pages. Links are all at the top. I'm always looking for new artists, films, podcasts, or books too. So, I'm open to recommendations if you have them. Until the next post, Happy Tuesday, y’all! ❤

Wordless Wednesday

Figured it's about time I gave you a bump picture. 

October Happenings

When I say we’ve been busy, I mean it. We had a homecoming game, where Emery was on Homecoming Court. Obviously, I’m biased, but my little girl was beautiful. And while hormones played a big part, I felt both happy and sad because she looked so grown up. I blinked, y’all. Our school is small, but their 6-man football team is currently undefeated, so we’ve been attending games to show support. Emery and her school’s cross-country team have made it to regionals. She hoped they wouldn’t go past the district meet but even her slow pace isn’t slow enough to bring her team points down. And just know that the rest of the team felt the same way. I think the only person excited about this accomplishment is the coach. So, I’m headed to the city next week to watch them run. The school also has a Fall Fest next week, and a few different events in between so we'll be off to those. 

I officially entered my third trimester a few weeks ago. It’s been…rough? Not sure that’s the best word for it. I’m super grateful for my body and its ability to grow this little life. I can feel all of the kicks, rolls, and on occasion a little butt that pokes out of my side. It’s such a wild feeling and even more of a trip to see. But when I say that December can’t come soon enough, I mean it. I feel stretched beyond capacity, and I still have some time to go. I don’t get enough sleep and nothing feels comfortable. I want to throw out the bed, couch, pregnancy pillow, and glider because not a single one brings me any relief. My belly is heavy and it hurts. My lower back hurts. My legs, they hurt. And if I could have it my way I would just stay in bed. BUT life doesn’t stop when you’re pregnant so, we carry on.

We finally replaced the flooring in the living room! Now, we have to paint and replace all of the trim. And while I am in the beginning stages of “nesting” I am also very lazy right now. That “nesting energy” hasn’t quite hit. I’m currently just making lists of all the things that need to get done. While also quietly (sometimes not so quietly) panicking because I feel like they won’t be done before the baby gets here. And if you know me, you know that I get anxious when things are cluttered and super messy in my home. Recently, I let things get bad again while dealing with some exhaustion, and one afternoon my wonderful husband took it upon himself to clean the house. This was after a 12-hour shift at work too. He cleaned the restroom, put up the laundry, swept the entire house, cleaned the kitchen, took out the trash, and washed the dishes. I came home and cried. Again, hormones, but also I felt very loved. He said he knew I was having a hard time right now and he just wanted me to feel good when I walked into the house rather than like I had so much work to do.

Speaking of work, it has been chaotic lately. While I normally enjoy being busy and things moving quickly, there are some things I'm not entirely comfortable with at the moment. Things that are negatively impacting my mental health. I recently had lunch with a co-worker and they expressed the same concerns. The past six months things have slowly taken a turn for the worse, and in the past few weeks, some situations have turned toxic. We talked about the importance of boundaries and disconnecting. However, we both agreed that there has been one major factor contributing to all of this, and that is not going away anytime soon. So, I've just been keeping my head down. I'll hopefully be getting a bit of a break from all of the drama soon, and then here's to returning to some calm waters. 

And that about wraps things up for now. It's been a busy week and it's only Tuesday. I'm ready for some food and a nap. Only one of those is in my foreseeable future though. I hope October has been treating you well! Only a little over two weeks until Halloween! Until the next post...✌

Wordless Wednesday

 

Let's Run About It // Coming to an End

Well, I didn’t think I’d get here so quickly but it looks like my running for the year is coming to an end. I might have one or two short runs left, but after that, there will be no more until after the baby gets here. I consulted with my NP this week, and it’s recommended that I switch to exclusively walking if my pelvic pain continues. I honestly envisioned having at least another month of running, but my body has other plans.

That said, I’m going to be shelving this little “series” of mine. I’m a little sad about the whole thing. More so because I dislike walking. I wasn’t able to get nearly as many miles in as I had hoped for either. But it is what it is. I’ll do my best to walk during the week, and see if I can’t get some mileage in that form. Otherwise, I’ll just be over here attempting some light exercise, and stretching.

But here’s to 2025! I’ve got some goals in mind already. I’ve been eyeing a few half-marathons at the end of next year. It all depends on when this baby arrives, and how my recovery goes. But I’d like to get back into a routine by March of next year and start training for a half about 2-3 months after that. God willing.

It’s ambitious, I know. Life with a newborn isn’t the easiest. And my daughter’s schedule is pretty packed. I don’t know when I’ll find time to fit in running or a training plan. Especially if I’m prioritizing naps and keeping my house in order. But this is something I really enjoy doing so I’d like to pick it back up as soon as I can.

So, this is my official “See Ya Later” to the physical activity I enjoy the most. You’ve been good to me. And hey, I ran up until I hit 30 weeks! I’m super grateful for every single time I got to lace up my running shoes. And I’m so thankful for how much my body has given me throughout this pregnancy. Even when there’s been pain. Until the next one…

Wordless Wednesday

Some Word Vomit for the Week

Last week was a whirlwind. And this week has not been any different. Finding time to write has been hard between long work hours, doctor's appointments, and school activities. The exhaustion has set in. The discomfort at night has been ramping up. I don't feel like I get enough sleep. And I've been having a lot of big emotions lately too. It's been an interesting time, to say the least. Now, I wish I had this nice post with something interesting to say but I don't. Instead, I'll give a couple brief updates about what we've been up to. 

Home: My house is a disaster. We had to have our flooring pulled up, and it has yet to be replaced. My husband and I decided that even though we rent, we will pay for the majority of the flooring replacement. So, that's a major expense we are having to cover. While that part has been settled, my husband has been dragging his feet on making the purchase because he has to "find the best deal." In the meantime, I have stacks of old laminate scattered in my kitchen. We have living room furniture in different rooms. And every day, I'm reminded of just how small our space is. I'm almost at the point of asking my family to come help me move everything into the attic because I'm so sick of looking at it. 

Work: It has been kicking my tail a bit with the hours. The rough part is that I don't get paid overtime since I'm on a salary. I'm currently averaging between 45-48 hours. However, we're really busy right now and in a month I have to start training the person who will take over some of my duties while I'm on leave. Plus, I have more appointments so I have to make sure to make up time when I can. This makes for some really long days. But, such is life. I'm powering through, and hustling as best as I can. 

Fun: We hung out with family and friends at the Texas Motor Speedway last weekend. We went to watch the last round of the Super Motocross World Championships before the riders headed to Las Vegas for the final. And let me just say that it was a very hot day. Thankfully, we were invited to a suite so after the first 250-round, I waddled my way up and out of the heat. I am really grateful for that opportunity because having to sit in the stands with the sun blaring, in my condition would have been brutal. I would have had to head back to the RV campsite and watch the event from a TV screen. Instead, everyone was hanging out and having a blast. The men made their way down a few times to watch from the track, and the teenagers had access to a private elevator to make their way down to the concessions and back up. And I didn't suffer a heat stroke. So, yay! 

And that's about it for now. Here's hoping I have the energy to clean some of my kitchen up tonight. And fingers crossed that I have the motivation to put up the laundry that's been sitting in a basket all weekend. However, after today's chiropractor appointment, and the overall pain my body is feeling - that may just have to wait until the weekend. Again, here's hoping I can recruit some family members to help. Anyway, I hope you all have a great week! And here's to having something better to write about later. 

Wordless Wednesday

📸: Jill from SRC

Monday Motivation(ish)

📷: Credit

We are so close to Fall, y’all! My favorite season and time of year. This past weekend was a rough one for me mentally. I felt very low and spent a lot of time in bed. I know that’s not the best thing to do, but I didn’t have it in me to do much else other than shower, and a few chores. However, as Sunday afternoon came around, I found myself at home alone. Rather than stay inside my head, I decided to finally go see “It Ends with Us.” I bought myself some candy and popcorn and sat back to enjoy one of my favorite books brought to life.

Afterward, I stopped to wash my car and then headed home to finally give “It Starts with Us” a real go of it. As some of you may know, getting back into reading after such a long break has been a real struggle. But I fell right back into a groove. I devoured the pages until my eyes started to close, and I made a huge amount of progress. Will it continue? Who knows. But I’m excited to be reading some fiction again.

This morning, I woke up to rain showers. Thunder in the distance. If you don’t know, rainy/cloudy weather is at the top of my favorites list. As I got ready for the day I felt much better than I had the past few days. While I still had to go to work, getting back into my routine felt nice. I got ready, packed my things, and then headed out. Every once in a while I get into these funks. Lately, they’ve been occurring a bit more frequently, but I know the reason behind it. So, I do my best to get through them. I know I’ll eventually feel better, I just have to hang on during the lows. 

Now, it’s a new week in a new month. I've spent the day catching up on some less high-priority items that I had been putting off. I've been sipping on some coffee and enjoying the rainy weather. I hope your day has been a good one. I hope September treats y'all well. And here’s to cooler weather around the corner; fingers crossed! Happy Monday! Happy Labor Day!

Wordless Wednesday

Throwbacks

Last week I was reminded of how I lost all of these digital pictures of myself, my family, and friends from when I was about 15-17. So, this past weekend I spent most of Saturday transferring some pictures from an old dinosaur of a laptop to the cloud. And it was such a trip. I had pictures of when I moved back home from California, my pregnancy with Emery, and thousands of others I still have to go through. The nostalgia hit hard.

I was reminded of how fast life has gone by. Sometimes it feels like I was 16 just yesterday. There was also a time when I had smoother skin and a smaller body. Not a wrinkle in sight. My daughter went from a newborn to 14 so fast too. I’m torn between missing her baby giggles and loving the relationship we have now. As I went through each album, I was able to look back on some good times and some not-so-good ones. Moments in time when I looked happy, but underneath I felt like I was drowning. I was reminded of how I spent a lot of time just surviving. Some days, it still feels that way. And yet, it's my life. It’s been my journey. And while there are things that I sometimes wish I could change, they’ve all led me to who I am today. And I’m grateful for the strength and lessons these years have given me.

Now I only made it through the years 2008 - 2011, from the the thousands of pictures I have, so that should tell you just how many I took back then. Here's a glimpse of what I found. Enjoy.

Wordless Wednesday

Vehicle Upgrade

Last week, Corey and I started talking about getting a bigger vehicle. Since we won’t be able to look into different housing options until after we file our taxes next year, we figured now would be a good time to take a credit score hit - giving us 8 months to allow some inquiries to drop off. I wanted to stick with an SUV as that’s what I’m more comfortable driving so we started looking for a Ford Explorer. We wanted third-row seating, and something slightly bigger than my Edge. Corey is big on safety features and four-wheel drive since we tend to get ice here in the winter. I also prefer a backup camera and heated seats - both my Edge has. But we agreed that we wouldn’t rush anything. My Edge is still good, so this purchase would not be a necessity. The alternative plan was to have me take his vehicle (a Ford F150) in the new year and get another smaller truck for him.

Well, after just two days of browsing, we found a vehicle. Single owner, all of the maintenance records, very well kept, and all of the features I wanted (and then some). It was also my dream vehicle! Anytime someone asks me what type of vehicle I want, I would automatically talk about this type of vehicle. "I'm on a budget, but I'd love a black-on-black Tahoe. You won't know if I'm a drug dealer or a soccer cheer mom." I’ve also joked about how I’ve always had to settle on vehicles because my dream car was always out of reach from a financial standpoint. "I drive a Ford Edge because a Chevrolet is too boujee for me & I can't afford one." No offense to any Ford or Ford Edge owners out there - my little Edge has served me well. Anyway, when we found this one and saw the price tag, it felt like it was too good to be true. 

The next day, my husband contacted the dealership and was originally told that it was sold. Several hours after that conversation they called him back and told him it was still available. He went ahead and reserved it for us to test drive, and we headed over after we got off from work. Once we got done with the test drive we asked to negotiate a price and payments. Which is the worst part of buying a vehicle if you ask me. Throughout the whole process, I kept telling myself that this wasn’t something we needed even if it was a vehicle that I really liked. There would be other vehicles and opportunities. And during negotiations, we started walking away twice. They did eventually crunch some numbers and we were able to agree on payments we were comfortable with. I still experienced anxiety and nausea as I normally do with large purchases - up to signing the paperwork. At the end of the day, we walked out of the dealership as proud owners of a Z71 Chevrolet Tahoe. It’s black-on-black with a black interior, and I LOVE it! Eeeeks!

Now, I am determined to have this one last me 10 years. It’s not new, but I’ve never needed new. I’ve always been pretty basic, and this vehicle has more than enough features. It’s comfortable, drives really well, and it fits our growing family. It’s the exact body style I wanted, and have always loved. As long as we maintain and take care of it, there’s no reason why it shouldn’t last a long time. Anyway, I'm so excited. And I'm super grateful to my husband because he's the one who stumbled on it and has offered to cut into his fishing budget so we could take on a bit extra on the payments. But most importantly, I'm thanking God. There were a lot of other things behind the scenes with not only the dealership, our old car, and our finances that allowed us to upgrade our vehicle. We wouldn't have been able to make this purchase without help and I'm grateful for that. 

In Pursuit of Wellness // August 2024

Well, my eating habits have not been great. I had originally told myself I would stick to my dietary restrictions, but that went out the window as soon as the cravings hit. And now, when I weigh myself every Monday (or Tuesday if I forget), I feel pretty terrible about myself. On one hand, I should probably stop checking the scale. On the other hand, it’s helpful to track my weight in case there is a huge jump my doctor needs to be made aware of. Double-edge sword anyone? Anyway, I’m trying to be positive, but it’s been difficult. And at the end of the day, I struggle a lot with sugar and sweets.

Current Weight (CW): 196.9 lbs

Favorite Food: Tillamook “Mudslide” Ice cream is SO delicious. And super addictive. We buy a container about once a month and it’s hard for me not to eat a cup of it every night when we have it. I know, I know. It’s terrible for me, and I need to stop.

Movement: Lately, it’s been a combination of running, walking, and weights. I head to the gym once a week. I run 2-3x a week. And I walk once a week depending on how I am feeling and of course the heat. Sometimes this looks like three or four solid days of exercise. In other weeks, there are just two. But the point is to keep moving and doing something. However, I am sometimes so tired that I don’t have much energy left to fit in a walk.

Quick Journal: Seeing the number on the scale go up has affected me - I won’t lie. I worked really hard to lose 40+ lbs and then to see that number go back up, it’s hard. Plus, I’ve always had issues with my weight. That said, I know that pregnancy comes with weight gain. And I know it’s different for everyone. But even though I tell myself this fact (constantly) I still struggle to get past it. I struggle with feeling bad about myself and my body. Especially on weigh-in days.

Overall, I am doing better though. While I have bad days regarding my weight, I still try to eat about 60% healthy/40% not-so-healthy. I still make an effort to work out, even if it’s not always consistent. And I try to keep a positive attitude. I let myself know this is a beautiful time, and I’m growing a little human inside of my body. Which I am grateful for. And in the end, I’ll be able to work hard again to drop the weight. I’ve done it once so I know I can do it again. It may be a little different, and it may take a little bit more time, but I can do it.

Wordless Wednesday

Ending the first day of high school w/frozen yogurt. ❤

Pregnancy // Why We Wanted Privacy

📷: Credit

“Why are you hiding your pregnancy?” “Why are you not announcing it?” “Aren’t you happy about this baby? Why won't you tell anyone?” These are just a few questions that have been asked. As I wrote in my last post, we requested privacy but it didn’t go as planned. Today, I wanted to shed some light on our reasons for this request. But first, let me say that we are NOT ashamed of this pregnancy. Nor are we disappointed. If you’ve been here for a while you know that a baby is something we have wanted for a few years now. We’ve prayed and begged for this blessing. So, we are beyond thrilled and excited for this new addition. And behind closed doors, we celebrate this little gift that God has sent us. Our desire for privacy and the decision to not disclose the news of my pregnancy for as long as possible came from a different place entirely.

Pregnancy // What’s Best for Us

Corey and I desired privacy about our pregnancy for as long as we could have it. We had our reasons, which I’ll go over in another post, but we agreed to share the news when we both felt ready. In the meantime, the plan was to inform our immediate family after we hit 12 weeks. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen and we ended up telling our parents and siblings much earlier. We asked that everyone keep this information private until we felt it was okay for extended family to know. While most of our family was respectful of this, our news was disclosed to several people (including strangers outside of our family) when I was 12 weeks along. This left me feeling angry, and upset. And it caused some family conflict.

Now, I know that pregnancy hormones heavily influenced my initial reaction. However, I still believe I had a valid reason to be upset. From one day to the next, it was as if our news was no longer ours to share. Instead of having ample time to process upcoming changes, it felt like we were now doing things on someone else’s timeline. This person was sharing our news while we were still trying to find answers for certain things that were happening with my body, and while we were waiting on results for our testing. To top it off, I had also been experiencing some depression due to the drastic hormone changes. This does happen to some women, especially those who have a history of depression. So, not only was I dealing with pregnancy symptoms, and my mental health, but I was also having to deal with our news being disclosed before we were ready for others to know about it. This added stress caused me to experience a good amount of anxiety for a few weeks. I stayed at home a lot. I wore compression wear anytime I went out. And if the subject of pregnancy was brought up, I would either talk around it or straight up deny being pregnant if it was asked.

Thankfully, I limited communication with the person I felt had betrayed our trust. Even if just temporarily. That break allowed me to focus on myself, my mental health, and the information that I was receiving at my appointments. I was able to rest and prioritize movement. I also focused on my home and my family. Stepping away also allowed me to avoid stressful situations with this person I didn’t feel I was ready to handle. Most importantly, I took this time to let go. I spent a lot of time praying for guidance and help to move on from what was being done. Because, in the end, I can’t stop people from going against our wishes. I can’t stop people from disregarding our requests. However, I can set boundaries and limit communication with them. I can control how I react to them, and the information I give them. And I can limit the amount of time they spend with me or my family. People don’t have to like this, and I’m sure some will think I’m being dramatic. But I intend to make decisions based on what’s best for my family, this baby, and myself.

📷: Credit

Wordless Wednesday

8/3: 92. 🎂

Feeling Stuck, Exhausted, & Grateful

Yesterday, I told myself I would write a little "Monday Motivation" post. However, as the day started, I quickly realized that it would be relatively busy with no downtime. Then, it felt like I was getting one hit right after the other. So, I didn't feel very "motivational". Instead, today, I'll be offering a few updates. 

📷: Credit

I received a call from the mortgage lender we've been working with, and due to a tax-related issue caused by a former employer, we cannot apply for a home loan right now. It will have to wait until after we file our taxes next year. While we knew that we probably wouldn't be able to purchase a house this year, we were hopeful that maybe we could start looking by the end of this year. Unfortunately, we can't even find out what our budget will be until next year. 

Now that we know we will be staying in our current rental a bit longer we've brought up some of the immediate repairs that we need to our landlord. Unfortunately, they don't want to pay to fix them right now. Instead, they'd like to do temporary/makeshift fixes. These have been their answers to every issue we've had since moving in. And guess what? They keep getting worse. And while I'm normally understanding and accepting of these solutions because everyone is struggling right now - I'd really like to have these repairs done correctly before the end of the year. However, it looks like we will have to foot the bill if we want them done. This means we now have several added expenses that we were not prepared for. 

And finally, our "merit raise" information was released last week. While I qualified for a raise this year I'm probably not going to get more than 1%. Which roughly gives me about an extra $500/year or $42/monthly paycheck. I'm a bit bummed because I really could have used a decent raise. We've got a lot of additional expenses coming up next year. But there are a lot of politics at play in our division, and things don't always favor those with lower incomes. That said, I keep telling myself, "Something is better than nothing." Still, this has had me thinking about what comes next.  

So, in the past few days, we've been delivered some setbacks. My emotional self has spent a lot of time crying over all of this and then some. I get that my hormones probably intensify everything right now. But that doesn't change the fact that it's super frustrating when you feel stuck. When you feel like nothing you do is working out. When you constantly have to be concerned about money. When you feel like for every step forward you take you're made to take three steps back. It's exhausting. But I need to look at the bright side. We are all safe, healthy, and doing well. We might not have as much as most, but we're still fortunate to have more than some. 

Slow Living // The Opposite

My “slow living” attempt has hit a bit of a snag. And it’s not for lack of trying, we just have a lot going on. It’s become very apparent to us that we need to work on some changes ASAP, and we’ve switched gears. While we still managed to have a “Summer of No Plans,” that desire to slow down our everyday lives just hasn’t come to fruition.

Corey has been working 60+ hours a week. We’ve been attempting to catch up on the bills that we got behind on at the beginning of the year. And trust me, that is hard to do. Then, we had an unexpected ER bill which we’ll have to start chipping away at this month. Thankfully, Emery’s braces are almost paid off, so we can put that extra towards other bills. And finally, we’ve concluded that we have to move. The home we are currently in has become a money pit. And it’s one repair after another. Keep in mind that we rent. So, we are in talks with a mortgage broker to establish a game plan. We can’t afford to move at this very moment, but we need to know the next steps so we can by next summer.

While Emery is out for the summer, her school still has plenty for them to do. From weekly workouts to camps. And my daughter has been attending as much as she can every week. Now, as we close in on the beginning of the school year, the cheer practices have started and so have conditioning workouts. We’re also in the middle of back-to-school shopping, and salon appointments. And it feels like we still have so much to do before that first day.

As for decluttering, well, my husband did a great job in the last round. But now with a new little member of our family coming along, I’ve already received several secondhand items and clothes that I need to sort through. It’s all gone up into the attic, but I need to sift through everything soon. While I am so appreciative of these items, I’m also dreading having to go through everything. We have some things in our living room that take up what was once open space, and I’m not going to lie, it gives me a bit of anxiety. Our living room looks small again. It feels like all of the hard work we put into decreasing visual clutter just went down the drain.

And so, I am struggling. I’m struggling to find a place for everything. I’m struggling to feel content with my home. I constantly feel overwhelmed by it. But I keep telling myself that this is just a season. We will eventually have space. We will eventually have our own home. We will eventually be able to slow down again. This current season of life will pass and things will get better. Eventually. For now, I just need to hang on.

Wordless Wednesday

 

Let's Run About It // Revising My 2024 Goals

Running looks a lot different for me right now. It’s been a tough pill to swallow, even though I know it’s for the best. But having to take a step back has also allowed me to appreciate running differently. Right now, it’s more about moving my body for as long as I can, and it’s also about self-care. So, keeping those things in mind, I’ve decided to revise my running goals for this year.

I’m going to focus on slow run/walk intervals. While I had been able to run a 10k without stopping, and I was working on longer intervals, those are no longer options for me. Going forward the goal will be to maintain a 2:1 run/walk interval again. This was my “go-to” interval previously but at a faster (for me) pace. I want to be able to maintain that interval, even if I’m much slower,

I’m going to stop looking at my pace. This one is hard. While I am not a fast runner, I did enjoy seeing my pace get a little faster. It’s also hard not to compare myself to other pregnant runners in our group. Some were able to go just as hard and fast as they did pre-pregnancy. My situation is different, and I just can’t keep going the same way I was before. So, I have to stop checking my pace. If I’m running a 15 or 16-minute mile then so be it. At least I’m running.

I’m revising my mileage goal for the year even though I know I won’t reach it. I would like to hit 365 miles for this year. I think it’s much more attainable than the 801 miles with 4 half-marathon distance runs I had originally set out to do. I was already a bit behind due to illness. Then I was sidelined for a month. Plus, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to run. So, I’m not entirely sure if I can reach this revised goal, but it helps me stay motivated to put on my running shoes. Again, I won’t beat myself up if I don’t reach it. I just need something to work towards until I’m told I can’t anymore.

And finally, I’m going to continue focusing on running for fun. While I may not have much fun as I get bigger - I've already had to purchase a running belly belt.  I want to keep that mantra going. That said, I’m constantly reminding myself that I'm running for my health; both physically and mentally. I’m running for the simple joy of it. And I’m doing this for me.

A Little Surprise

This announcement comes a lot sooner than I had planned. We originally requested privacy from those we told. For personal reasons, we wanted to keep the news under wraps until we were ready to share it. However, one of our family members went against our wishes and the news was shared much earlier than we were prepared for. So, to regain some of my power, I'm officially announcing that Baby G is on the way!

Wordless Wednesday

 

Currently // July 2024

This summer has flown by quickly and the beginning of the school year is right around the corner. I’ve already had two meetings with my daughter’s principal. A lengthier post to come. I’m hoping that the new principal and new(ish) superintendent can make much-needed changes within the next year. We've considered transferring Emery to another school, but she's not a fan of that idea so we're trying to compromise. Other than that not much is going on. I have to make a final decision on my name change within the next few days, which has been rough. In two weeks we take Emery back to school shopping which I dread because of how many stops we have to make. The mall is no longer the one-stop shop it used to be. We've also been browsing houses on the market, with no real plan. That said, I've requested a meeting with a mortgage broker and lending company to go over our current options, and budget, and possibly make some goals for the future. Then starting in August we have to make a switch to our sleep schedule since the upcoming start time at Emery's school has been moved up to 7:25 AM. Yikes, right? Anyway, those are the little happenings going on for us at the moment. Now, without further ado, here is the “Currently” post for the month.

Listening: Nothing. Music is just not happening for me right now. When I do feel like listening to something I tend to stick to my oldies, but goodies playlists: 90s Hits, Youth Group Throwback, and Chaos Anthems.

Reading: Nothing. Not even going to pretend I’m trying either. NOTHING has piqued my interest. And I’ve started so many different books from different genres. I’ve even tried audiobooks. But nothing sticks. So, I’ve decided to not force it. Maybe one day I’ll get back into it, but right now, it’s just not in the cards for me.

Watching: The Tour de France on Peacock. Y’all, last year I watched the documentary series, “Tour de France: Unchained” and I was fascinated. Then last month, season 2 was released and I binged it in a day. I loved it! If you don’t know much about cycling, you should give this series a watch. If anything, just to see what it’s all about. Because, y’all, there is so much more to it than riding a bicycle over long distances. Anyway, this year’s Tour de France started on June 29 and I have been glued to it from day one.

‘Casting: A few podcasts are on rotation. More specifically, Catholic podcasts. I usually start my day with “Blessed is She Daily Devotions”. Then move on to “The God Minute.” But one of the newer podcasts that I’ve started listening to is, “The Saints” by The Merry Beggars. It brings stories of Saints to life with voice actors. It’s great for both adults and kids. I highly recommend it if learning more about Saints is something you are interested in. 

And that concludes the “Currently” post for this month. If you have any suggestions, be sure to drop me a line either here or on any of my other social media pages. Links are all at the top. I'm open to recommendations if you have them. Until the next post, Happy Tuesday, y’all! ❤

Wordless Wednesday

Gratitude Journal // Seven - Nine - Twenty Four

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, the bad days get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. And sometimes you just need to write down the things you're grateful for to see all of your blessings. Though I admit that sometimes I take things for granted, I'm doing my best to be thankful for all of the good in my life. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

A Second Manager: I now have two “bosses” that I report to and serve as Executive Assistant to both. And one of those managers acknowledges hard work. He pays attention to his direct reports. And recently, when he notices people have come in early or worked through lunch he lets us go home early. He believes that if our work is being completed, and we are showing initiative then we should also be rewarded. This can mean getting to work from home, coming in later, or leaving early. All while still getting paid. So, yea, I’m grateful that he’s here. 

 

Random Rainstorms: Yesterday, we had some random rainstorms throughout the day. It was a day that started with sunshine, moved to cloudy, turned dark, and then poured. That cycle repeated two more times. The temperature dropped to the low 80’s and there was a cool breeze for the majority of the day. It was perfection. And at the end, we were gifted with a rainbow.

 

Early Morning Runs: I run 2-3 times a week right now. And most of those take place in the early morning. When I set out  for these runs the sky is painted in orange, pink, purple, and bright blue. And it just helps get my day started in a positive way. I get a few miles in, watch the sunrise, and feel better.

 

Fudge Rounds: Little Debbie Fudge Rounds have a death grip on me right now. I know, I know. They’re terrible for me. But when I get that chocolate craving that I just can’t shake, I end up reaching for one of these. Sometimes two. And they hit the spot every time.

 

The God Minute Podcast: Recently, I started experiencing more stress and mood swings in my day-to-day. So, a few weeks ago I decided that it was time to shift my focus. I needed to start my day with prayer, reflection, and some time to recharge my battery before heading out for the day. The God Minute podcast has been a great way for me to focus my energy on daily prayer, and it’s helped shift my mindset every morning. It's usually about 10- 15 minutes long, and for me it's like being able to attend a daily mass. 

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? How has summer been going for you and your family? Are you in an area that’s been getting cooler temps or experiencing a lot of heat? Let me know below. Until the next post, I hope you have a wonderful night! Adios!

“He came and took her by the hand, and the little girl arose.” // Matthew 9:25 

❤

Wordless Wednesday

 

Monday Motivation

It’s a new day, a new week, and a new month! I had my performance evaluation last week and it went surprisingly well. I’ve qualified for the opportunity to receive a raise this year if they are given. So, I’m praying that happens. That said, if I don’t receive one I will request one next year because as of June 1, I had a significant increase in workload. It’s made the days go by a lot faster, but it’s added a lot more to my plate. If I do a good job, then it should definitely qualify me for a raise next year.

 

Today, I’ll be spending the first hour of my day establishing some work goals. Then, I’ll shift to creating some personal goals for the month too. I’ve got some ideas about my running, diet, and faith that I’d like to flesh out. It’s good to take a step back and re-evaluate from time to time. And like I said in a previous post, the running goals I had at the beginning of the year are no longer attainable. So, this made me want to take a look at all other areas to see where I might need to adjust as well. I encourage you to do the same sometime soon. Anyway, here’s to July! Here’s to a new week! And most of all, Happy Monday!

Wordless Wednesday

Better Boundaries

If I’m being honest, I was never really good at establishing boundaries or enforcing them. If you read back far enough on this blog, during my first marriage, it’s very apparent. While I would consider myself a strong person who got through some pretty rough times, I often wonder if outcomes would have been different had I enforced boundaries. Would I be different too? And well, I try not to get lost in that train of thinking because it’s in the past - there’s no going back there. But, sometimes I do wonder, what if?

Now, since my divorce and remarriage, I feel that I have gotten better at establishing boundaries. However, I do still find myself letting people push past them. Or, sometimes, even completely disregard them. And after my last little emotional breakdown, due to someone completely disregarding a boundary that I had verbally set, repeatedly. I decided that this needed to stop. So, the subject of boundaries is at the forefront of my mind these days.

I started reading the Boundaries series by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. And when I say read, I mean listening to the audiobook version on my way to and from work. It’s been pretty insightful. And sometimes, it feels like I’m being called out. In a good way. I’ll pause the book to let some of the information sink in. Sometimes, I’ll deny my guilt before the realization that I am actually guilty of the action or inaction being talked about hits me. Other times, I can smile with pride knowing that I've actually been implementing something correctly. It’s been eye-opening, to say the least.

So, the lesson I’m learning, is that I have no one to blame but myself. I am responsible for myself, my feelings, and my reactions. And no one can fix the issues but me. Whether that means speaking up more often or following through with consequences after people repeatedly disregard my boundaries. It’s all up to me. Now it can get difficult when dealing with family - your own or the one you married into. It can also be difficult to have boundaries with your partner, spouse, or even your children. And honestly, boundaries won’t all look the same for everyone. For example, my boundaries with my husband will be different from those I have with my daughter. And those will look completely different from the ones I establish with in-laws. But they are still important to have to create healthy, strong, and loving relationships.

I'll try to write a more in-depth post once I've finished this book.  For now, I look forward to learning more about boundaries. I’ve talked about them before, and I’ve loosely applied certain principles. However, life lately has been a bit of a rollercoaster, and I’m really interested in learning how to cultivate and maintain healthy boundaries with everyone in my life. Not just for my benefit, but their’s as well.

In Pursuit of Wellness // June 2024

A lot has changed since the last time I wrote about my wellness journey. I had a little health scare. I had to switch up supplements. I was benched from running for a whole month. And then switched up my diet plan. So, it’s been an interesting few months, to say the least.

Current Weight (CW): 186.6 lbs

Favorite Food: Cold Tomatoes with salt. This has been my go-to snack. I take two tomatoes, slice them up, and then sprinkle them with salt. Things in Texas are hot and humid right now. So, on most days when I want something cold and refreshing, this does the trick.

Movement: Running! I was given the green light to start running again. Though, I have to slowly build up my mileage. Currently, I’m doing 1.5 miles. After this week I can up it to 2.5 miles. I tried doing other exercises while I was benched, but they just did not make me feel the same. I’m sure it’s all mental, but I’m just super happy to be out on the roads/trails again!

Quick Journal: My diet has not been great. And I’ve had some stressors in my life lately that I’m trying to manage. So, not only has my stress gone up but I've also had a touch of depression and anxiety. I've been able to manage this by getting outside and listening to ASMR. I believe this has helped so I feel okay about where I'm at both physically and mentally. My next step will be to cut dairy products out again and then go back to limiting added sugar. I'm hoping this will help me feel much better. 

Overall, things are going well. While I’ve gained weight, there’s a reason for it, and I plan on taking the steps necessary to maintain a healthy weight for where I'm at this season. That said, after just one week of being able to run the scale has shown that I’ve slowed the weight gain. Now, the diet change won’t happen overnight, but I’m feeling positive. Also, I do plan on incorporating some strength training going forward. I’m trying to get a schedule worked out for that, and here’s hoping I can start next week. 

Wordless Wednesday

 

A Break from Running

As of today, I’m going on a month of no running. It wasn’t my idea; doctor’s orders. And it's been a very…interesting experience. At first, I felt very disconnected. Not just from my running friends but from myself as well. While running has always been a part of my life, joining a running club in 2021/2022 brought my relationship with it to another level. It also brought me a running community. A group of friends. It got me out of my comfort zone. It helped relieve my stress and gave me mental clarity. And it’s become a pretty major part of my life.

📸: Caitlin Moyer Photography

So, when I was told that I needed to scale back on running, it felt doable to let my body recover. “I’ll just run 5k’s for a while,” I told myself. Then at my last appointment, after some follow-up questions, the nurse practitioner said, “We’ll revisit this at your next appointment, but for now, no more running.” And I was so bummed. A month of no running? What was I going to do now? Well, I signed up for a gym membership thinking that if I at least moved my body it would be better than nothing. I overestimated my motivation though, and in the past month, I’ve only gone to the gym four times. Lifting weights and using a stationary bike are just not the same as going for a run.

The hardest part about this experience is putting my running goals on the back burner. At the beginning of the year, I talked about my plans, and how I wanted to reach certain distances this year. Then in February, I decided that I would train for the 2025 Cowtown Half starting in October. And I wanted to work on running farther without having to stop. While I had hoped to still be able to tackle some of these goals, after my last appointment, I was forced to realize that this probably wouldn’t be the case. Now, I know that there is a really good reason for being told to stop. My doctor knows best. So, I will do as I’m told because it’s important and because I eventually want to be able to run again. But it’s still hard.

Tomorrow is the "next appointment" and we will discuss my options. I’m hoping to have some good news. Please let me do slow intervals. But I’m also aware that even if I have good news, depending on how my body responds, I could be told to stop running for the rest of the year. So, here’s me hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. Regardless, I know this is all in God’s hands and there’s a reason for it. In the end, I’ll accept whatever he has in store.

Slow Living // The Summer of No Plans

Last month my husband had an unexpected day off. And instead of getting some much-needed rest, he decluttered our house. He packed up some stuff for storage, cleaned the kitchen, and swept the entire house. It was my Mother’s Day gift. He knew I had not been feeling well, I was exhausted and completely unmotivated. The state of our house was causing me even more anxiety. And so, he gave me a pretty wonderful gift.

Since then, we’ve maintained it pretty well. I’ve slacked on PUTTING UP the laundry, but not on having laundry DONE. So, I’m calling that a win. But the rest of the house is pretty minimal, and we clean all the rooms probably 1-2 times a week. Minus my teenager's room because: pick your battles. I still have to go through my huge DVD collection, and I’ve been casually browsing Facebook Marketplace for a good deal on a bookshelf to display all of my books again. As Corey said, “I’d rather you have books on display than a bunch of DVDs we never watch.” Still, I have some pretty great movies I’m not willing to part with, however, in the land of streaming services we pretty much have access to all of them digitally already. So, in a way, he’s right. It is time to get rid of most of them.

Enough about that; moving along. This summer, we have no plans. Originally, I wanted to go to California to visit my bestie. I also wanted to plan a girls' trip for Emery and myself. However, we’ve had some recent developments that have placed those plans on the back burner. Instead, we’ve talked about a 4th of July weekend trip to visit friends, but that’s still up in the air. Other than that, we plan to just be at home this summer. Enjoying some slow days and our animals. This wasn’t what our teenager wanted to hear but it is what it is.

I’ve been trying to make a better effort to stay at home. My feed is constantly flooded with pictures of trips and luxury vacations. Families that get to spend thousands at amusement parks. People buying new houses and cars. Or moms getting to have weekly shopping hauls at Ulta. And while I would love nothing more than to stay at a fancy hotel for a week with my family to explore a foreign country it’s not in our cards. We can’t financially do that. And instead of getting all bummed out about it, I have to tell myself that I have everything I need right here. My family, home, baby goats, and wide open spaces. So for now, I just need to be happy with that. Maybe one day I can take that vacation or we can buy a house, but we’re not in that season right now. And that’s okay.

📸: introvertedbossgirl

One of the aspects of “slow living” that drew me in was the idea of being content with less. Less is more. Less is more. It’s also a way to become truly aware of how materialistic our lives can become. And how, if not kept in check, can turn into something negative. Of course, there’s also the appeal of being able to slow down in all areas of my life. Slow down my day-to-day. Slow down my work schedule. Rest and reset more. All of which are things that we can benefit from. Even if implemented for short periods. Now, not everyone in my home is on board with this. It's actually been a cause of tension sometimes. But I’m trying my best to make that shift for myself. That said, I’ve realized this will be a constant work in progress for me. But again, that’s okay. Baby steps are just as important as the leaps and bounds.