Journal Writing Prompt // Stress

Prompt: What is currently causing you stress?

Everything, if I’m being honest. Bills, home life, work, and feeling stuck. Right now, our finances are not the greatest. We had some setbacks in January and February when my husband wasn’t able to work. And while he’s back to working now, for a different company, we have yet to be able to catch up. And because of that, our credit card debt, which had previously been paid off, is back up. And if you know me, you know I hate debt. However, what else can we do when we need a credit card to cover bills and groceries?

To add to our stressors, my husband and his friend are starting their own construction company. This means a lot of work from all parties, including myself. Realistically, the first year or two will not produce any major profits. In fact, we may have to put money into it. And while I am trying to think of the long term, it can be hard to see the bigger picture when we’re struggling enough as it is. That said, this is an opportunity and dream that my husband has had for a while now, so I plan to contribute in whatever way I can to make this a reality.

Work has been on this rollercoaster lately. Some questionable things have recently come to light and made me feel uncomfortable. On more than one occasion I’ve been asked to come up with solutions that allow others to “skirt around policy.” There has also been an increase in toxicity lately, and some of it is spearheaded by leaders. There have been instances that I’ve wanted to speak up, and on occasion I have. Only it’s met with, “You don’t want to get caught on the wrong side of this.” And well, I need my job.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this is just a blip. My job and workplace haven’t always been like this. It’s a very recent development that was triggered by new internal changes. And some power struggles. I hope that with time, and some upcoming leadership changes, things will start to smooth out. Still, it doesn’t lessen the stress while dealing with it.

And finally, I’ve been feeling stuck. At the moment, I have really great benefits. The trade-off is that the pay is not ideal. Even though I’m making more than I did at my previous place of employment. And well, I’m tempted to start looking for another job because we could really use an increase in income. Plus, my student loans have kicked in, and well, I feel really bad about working so hard for a degree that I’m not even getting a decent amount of income by using it. Does that make sense? And so, I feel stuck. On the one hand, I have great benefits. On the other, pay is lacking. So, what do I do? I’m not entirely sure. I've been praying for some guidance and direction. I've been praying for doors to open or expenses to be reduced. While I know things could be a lot worse, and I'm grateful that they are not, my stress levels have been on another level lately.

Wordless Wednesday

Taken on my last run before being told to stop.

Currently // April 2024

The school year is starting to wind down, and you can tell that my kid is ready. For me, work is steadily chucking along. Corey and a friend have partnered on a new business - so he’s been working the equivalency of two jobs. I haven’t been feeling well lately and after a recent appointment, I was told to hit pause on any strenuous exercise and running. And let's just say that it’s impacted my mental health and energy levels all around. I do have an upcoming follow-up appointment with my doctor, and here’s hoping for good news. Anyway, without further ado, here is the “Currently” post for the month.

   

Listening: Right now, I prioritize other stuff, so when it comes to music selections I tend to rely on Spotify-generated playlists. Right now I’m listening to “Top Christian & Gospel”. It’s nice and light. Perfect for my commute to work, and back home.

Reading: Technically this could fit under listening because I've been listening to an audiobook. It’s called “Daughter of the Moon Goddess” by Sue Lynn Tan. I’m almost halfway through. However, I will say I have taken a bit of a pause because this is what I listened to on solo runs. And well, here’s hoping I’m able to pick it back up soon.

Watching: I watch multiple Asian dramas at a time. However, there was a brief pause due to several upcoming releases that hadn’t been put out yet. So, during that break, I started watching true crime shows again. I just finished “Homicide: New York” on Netflix and I thought it was fantastic! I really hope they continue it, even if it’s in another city.

‘Casting: Not much in this area to report. I did discover that one of the slow-living ladies I’m subscribed to on YouTube has started her own podcast: Wholehearted Podcast. I’ve listened to two episodes, and while I think she’s doing a great job, the length of each episode is a bit much for me. I tend to retain more when episodes are shorter in length. Otherwise, it’s a great podcast.

And that concludes the “Currently” post for this month. If you have any suggestions, be sure to drop me a line either here or on any of my other social media pages. Links are all at the top. I'm always looking for new artists, films, podcasts, or books too. So, I'm open to recommendations if you have them. Until the next post, Happy Tuesday, folks! ❤

Maintaining Lifestyle Changes // Meals, Snacks, and Workouts

Today, I wanted to give you a glimpse into what I eat in a day. Even on the days when I pick fast food. And also, what kind of movement I incorporated. So, without further ado, let’s get right to it.

Photo by Derick McKinney on Unsplash

Wordless Wednesday

Maintaining Lifestyle Changes // Part II

You’re looking at someone who ate fast food 4x a week, didn’t like to be parted from her sweet tea, had chocolate once a day, drank all the sugary coffee drinks, and couldn’t say “no” to food. I also consumed A LOT of processed foods that were heavy on preservatives. I tried different fad diets. And looking back, it’s no wonder I always yo-yo’d and could never keep the weight off. I thought substituting certain things like almond milk for dairy made them “healthy.” And if the labels read, “organic”, “gluten-free”, or “no sugar” I believed that meant that they were also healthy. However, after seven months of these dietary restrictions, I now know that this is not the case. So, today, I’m going to talk about the food we eat and the food habits we’ve had to change. What’s worked for us, and what we’ve had difficulty with. Also, please note a lot of the times when I say “we” when talking about cooking I really mean my husband. Anywho, let’s get started.

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Wordless Wednesday

Maintaining Lifestyle Changes // Part I

Recently, I had a request to write about how I implemented, and currently maintain my dietary restrictions. And how I implemented certain lifestyle changes and maintained them as well. Now, this all started when I had my labs done. After reviewing everything with Dr. Hogan, we knew that getting better and reversing the damage I had caused myself was going to take a lot of work. My entire lifestyle would have to change - not just my diet. And let me tell you, it was not easy. If I’m being honest, some days are still hard. So, I’m going to post about a few things that have worked for me. What we did, and how we did it. What we’ve given up, what we’ve changed, and what we’ve been able to bring back. And finally, what the plan is going forward. First up will be lifestyle changes and buckle up because this will get long.

Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

Slow Living // Shortcomings

Back in February, I mentioned wanting to focus more on slow living. It’s this idea of slowing down, reducing stress, simplifying, and focusing more on things that bring you joy. True joy. Ideally, we would start with a full house declutter. This would allow us to clear our space before working on other areas. And while that is still the goal, I haven’t even been able to get the process started.

We did manage to do one round of decluttering, but there is still so much more we can remove from our home. While it’s overwhelming to me, if I’m being honest our home is NOT that bad. I promise. I just tend to get overstimulated very easily. Then that places me in a state of feeling overwhelmed. Once I’m in that headspace it’s hard to get motivated to do much of anything other than the bare minimum. So, that was all a roundabout way of saying - I’m strugglin’.

I do have a plan, and I have ideas of what I want to accomplish. However, as I‘ve stated on many occasions it’s hard for us to find time on the weekends or during the week to make some progress in the areas we need. There are also times when my husband is away for several days or a weekend due to tournaments, and that puts a hold on me getting rid of larger items. So, I try to schedule these decluttering days when we are both home and have a free day. I hope we have some time this weekend to get it done, but if we don't I'll have to wait until the end of the month. And while I feel this rush to just get this all done, I’m doing my best to be okay with this pace. So, that’s where I’m at with that.

In the meantime, I’ve started to place hard boundaries regarding home/work life. This includes muting work notifications after my work hours. I caught myself a few times answering requests and checking my email outside of those hours which is a big "no-no" for me. So, I've reinforced that boundary. I’ve also started to delegate when necessary. And I’m taking advantage of my wellness time too. Twice a week I use my wellness time for movement of some kind, and it's helped my mood. Also, if I need to take a sick day, I do it. No more pushing through for the sake of being a “team player”. If I’m sick, I’m sick, and I need the rest.

As for home life, I'm trying not to do a lot. My goal is to be comfortable staying at home. Spend time at home, with my family, and my animals. While I am an introvert, and I usually do stay at home our weekends are usually all booked up. I feel this rush to get errands done, and then fit in all my "catch-up chores" in one day. It's exhausting. We spend a lot of time making store runs and end up spending more than we should. Then there's my teenager who thinks we should be doing something all of the time. I told her one day, "You need to be okay with being bored. Read a book, pick up your room, or find something to make." She wasn't a fan of that response. But, it's the truth. We're always going, going, and it's expected almost every weekend that we DO something. And well, that's just unrealistic. So, I'm doing my best to break that habit. 

Now, I was hoping to be a lot further along in the process than I am, but that just hasn't been the case. However, I am making an effort to be more mindful of how I approach things. I try to ask myself some questions before making decisions about what needs to be done and what can wait.  The same goes for material things. Do I actually need it or do I just want it? It helps me to take a step back and evaluate. That said, I don't do this all of the time. Again, it's a work in progress. But still, I'm trying. And that's what really counts. 

Wordless Wednesday

Monday Motivation

I wanted to post something meaningful/of value, but lately, I’ve been a bit burned out in all areas of my life. I’ve gotten behind on cleaning, and the laundry, and every time I look at my closet or the stack of boxes in our living room (a throw-away pile that has been started) I want to set it all on fire, So, today, I just hope that your coffee is strong. Happy Monday!

*Not sure who the illustrator is for this picture but the watermarks are on there.