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Get Back To It

On Tuesday, I went for my first run in a little less than a month. Okay, 24 days but who’s counting? My time for the mile really sucked. Just look at those paces! Blah, I actually walked away from that run very disappointed in myself. All of that previous hard work thrown down the drain. Now, I’ll have to start all over. I’ll be training on the treadmill when I can to increase my speed and I’ll be going outside to track my distance. We have 3G where I live now so the tracking is way more accurate.

But even though my time was really horrible, it felt good. It was 100 degrees out, and yet I still felt like it was what I needed. That boost. The feel of the sun on my skin soaking up all that vitamin D. That tired achy feeling that you get when you know you’ve worked out your muscles. I really enjoyed it. And yesterday I couldn’t wait to get back out there. Which is a really good sign, considering my moods lately. :) Thankfully, I haven’t had any back issues either. I’ve been using a back support belt when I run and so far its helped. Here’s hoping it will continue to work long enough to get my ass back into shape. Or at least until I can afford to go see a chiropractor. Until then, slow and steady progress is all I'm asking for.

Wordless Wednesday

The Carnival and Some Much Needed Cleaning

This past weekend flew by. I'm sitting here wondering how it's already over? On Friday we took Emery to the carnival as planned and we were joined by my mother-in-law. I was surprised at how many rides Emery decided she wanted to go on this time around. There were even some that she wasn’t allowed on which left her bummed. She ran into her little friend Camilla there and they rode the carousel together.

Saturday my husband was sick, so we stayed in. I stayed up reading, and finally finished the book I was on. Sunday came and we went into town for some cleaning supplies, and I went to town on our rooms. I rearranged Emery’s furniture, moved her crib back into it (converted it into a toddler bed), and put her toys up in plastic containers. It stays so much more organized! I was also finally able to go through her shoe collection and clothes. Man, I got rid of a lot of things she didn’t need or even fit into anymore. It was so nice. Once I was done with that I started on our room and the living room. A few weeks ago our living room TV went out on us so we replaced it with the one in our room. Which means we had to move all of our players and consoles out of our room and find a place for them in the living room. THERE WERE SO MANY WIRES. It was ridiculous. But I was finally able to get everything hooked back up and out of the way. Then I attacked the closet. I was able to bag up the remainder of our winter clothes and got those put away. I organized all of my shoes in containers, and organized my mini bookshelf. Ooh, it was so nice. I can look into our rooms and see so much space now. For someone who's as OCD as I am, this is AWESOME! Later that night, after putting Emery to bed, Kim and Carlos brought dinner over and watched True Blood with me. We stayed up till 1, talking and watching TV. A perfect ending to a long day.

Monday came around and my husband was sick again. Vomiting his guts out, coughing up phlegm and blood. It was nasty. So I stayed home with him. Emery went to the sitters, just in case whatever my husband had was contagious. We came into town to do some grocery shopping, and to buy some Emetrol for my husband’s nausea. That combined with antibiotics have really helped him kick whatever bug is going around. You’d never think it though. When men are sick they act as if the world is ending and the pain is unbearable. My husband is no exception to this. I had to put up with the moaning and groaning all day. Thankfully, today I was back at work. He also called on my lunch break to tell me that even though he still felt a bit sick he was able to hold food down. So now, all I can do is pray that it isn’t contagious. I can’t afford to have all of us sick. It’s always miserable when that happens. Not even joking.

Today has dragged on forever. I always feel like this when I've been off for more than two days. So here's to hoping that the rest of the week fly’s by. I want a weekend filled with nothing but sleep. Soon. Hope you all had a great weekend, though!

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A Bachelor(ette) Party

Let me just start off by saying that if this gets confusing, it’s okay. I’m kind of confused myself as to how this all happened, but I’ll try my best to explain.

Okay, so one of my friends is getting married soon. Well because of this wedding a bachelor party is a given, right? Right. Well, what’s not a given is inviting a girl to this party. Which is exactly what the guys did. They invited me to join them in Austin for a night out on 6th street. When I asked why they wanted me to tag along, they said it was because I was “one of the guys”. So, I said “maybe” but warning that it was really short notice, I needed to talk to my husband first (he would be coming with me), and then I didn’t even know if we could get a sitter in time. My getting to go, wasn’t looking very possible.

Now why would I want to join the guys for a bachelor party, you ask? Well, a few weekends ago my friend’s fiancé was given a “toy party” by one of her friends who isn’t very fond of me. I assumed (as did many others) that this was her bachelorette party and I just wasn’t invited. I didn’t get upset about it because this party was for her, and if the other girls didn’t want me there then I was fine with it. Apparently, I was wrong. Because once word got out that I had been invited to the bachelor party (and that it was in Austin) my friend’s fiancé (who is also my friend) asked why she couldn’t have a cool bachelorette party in Austin too. I had no idea what to tell her, so I just said “What’s stopping you from having one in Austin too? I’m sure that 6th street is big enough for both parties.”

See that right there, should have never left my mouth. One of my other friends, who would be attending the bachelor party, texted me on Tuesday and asked if I was coordinating the bachelorette party instead of joining the guys? Umm, not that I know of? As far as I knew I wouldn't even be attending the bachelor party. He continued by informing me that the bride to be assumed that one of her friends was coordinating a party for her as well in Austin. So now I had become the the accomplice of ruining the guys bachelor party for planting “the seed” of both parties being held in Austin. My friend was getting an ear full from both our friend and his fiancé. The fiancé assumed she would be going to Austin and the groom thought it was just “the guys” only trip.

And this is why I should never have opened my mouth about anything. See, I understand the guy code of having separate parties. It’s kind of the point. Had someone told me ahead of time that there had never been a bachelorette party, I would have happily coordinated one and declined the guys invitation on the spot. We could have had it in Austin on a separate weekend from the guys and it wouldn’t have been a big deal. But now, the guys trip is being threatened to be cancelled and I’m pretty sure I’ll have to take the blame for this one.

So as of right now I’ve done the only thing I can think of to get things back on track, and that’s to volunteer to coordinate a bachelorette party in Dallas (you guys know how I feel about this city) if my friend’s fiancé wants me to. And this my friends is why I'm freaking out a little. The guys are totally cool with just bar hopping and now I’ll actually have to come up with ideas if this goes through. Gift ideas, dinner reservations, club locations, the works. Stuff that I have NEVER done before. So, wish me luck?? Please??

Wordless Wednesday

What I've Been Up To: Part II

The carnival is in town and last Friday we were able to take Emery out to ride some rides!! She had such a blast that we’re already planning on going out there again at least one more time. My brother and his girlfriend came along and they took her on a ride while my husband and I were able to get on the Zipper. This alone was totally worth the twenty bucks that we spent. No joke. It’s been forever since we’ve been able to go a carnival and even longer since we’ve actually ridden rides. I was squealing like a little girl the entire time! I can’t wait to get to go out there again!

On Saturday, we had some friends over to play a few drinking games. I decided that I was a big girl and opted for the “Bud Light Platinum” instead of the regular “Bud Light”. Wrong move on my part. Before I knew it I was drunk. Really really drunk. Emotional drunk too. Which I hate. Then Sampson, while trying to play with a kitten ended up hurting it instead. This kitty had been the one that my husband had developed a connection with. He even had a name, TEX. At first he looked as if he was getting better, and he was responsive. Wagging his tail, meowing, and breathing. But the poor kitten died Monday night. We were all pretty heartbroken about it. Even Sampson.

Also on Monday, my husband got a ticket. Right as we were pulling into our house. The state trooper said he pulled us over because of my front license plate not being mounted. I explained to him that the dealer told me that we had to order a bracket and I showed him that I indeed had my plate in the car. So instead of giving us a ticket for that he asked for my husbands drivers license because he was the one behind the wheel. As many of you know, he doesn’t have one. The cop made this big deal of putting my husband in the squad car, thankfully he didn’t handcuff him though. But he did state that he could arrest him if a call hadn’t come in about a drunk driver about a mile ahead of us. Once my husband came back to the vehicle I drove the less than 10 feet into our drive. I’m not kidding you guys when I said we were pulling into our house. If only the man had given us a break and just let me get out and pull in without issuing a ticket. Wishful thinking.

I was pretty pissed. More so than my husband. His license has been suspended since 2008 by California. And Texas won’t allow him to get one because of unpaid surcharges. Which we were almost caught up on. He was due to get his license in November. And now, we have to deal with a ticket. Which could push back his license date a year or two! How are we suppose to go two more years?!? Ugh! I understand that he shouldn’t be driving, but people, sometimes he has to drive. And once he starts working, I’m sure he’ll have to get back behind the wheel because we need money. Right now he’s doing odd jobs here and there until he gets the call from FMC, and thankfully my dad and brother have helped him with rides. But how the hell does someone expect a person to not drive, and still be able to hold a job? Especially when we live 30 minutes from town. It’s ridiculous. It stupid. And I’m so annoyed with “the system” right now.

So other than that, things have been good. I’ve been reading a lot lately. If you have a Good Reads account you should add me. I'm always up for discovering new books. Although I'm on a young adult novel kick. After last weeks storms my garden has over grown and is in serious need of tending. Our babysitter will be headed off for a two week vacation and I’m freaking out over who we’ll get to take care of Emery while she’s gone. My husband is currently helping my dad and brother tear down some old buildings in town during the week, so he hasn’t been at home during the day.

What I've Been Up To: Part I

Man, I’ve been really bad about posting. Sorry! It has been a busy past two weeks. And until Monday things were going pretty well. I may have jumped onto the “depression” conclusion too soon. Or maybe not? But I can say that after writing typing it out, I’ve felt a thousand times better. So now, I’m going to break down the events of the past two weeks for you.

The weekend of the 9th was the local "Tour de Pepper" that my dad and brother usually ride in. This year my brother couldn't go because of work and because he's already asked off for another ride in July. So, this time around it was just my dad and a friend of his from work. Of course being the cheerleader for my family, I spent the morning cheering them on and meeting them at check points. I'm pretty proud to say that my dad finished 34 miles in 2 hours and 25 minutes! Woot woot! After we finished at the race, my husband and I got ourselves ready for one of my best friend's “baby party”. Brett's girlfriend is 8 months pregnant and instead of having a baby shower, they opted for a pool party and cook out. My mother volunteered to babysit for a few hours so we gladly took advantage of some toddler free time. We had a lot of fun, and I was able to see friends that I hadn’t seen in awhile. It was pretty awesome. But the biggest surprise of all was that Brett proposed! A few of our friends knew, but the rest of us were completely surprised! Before the party came to an end, he gave us all hugs and thanked us for being there to share his day.

Last week my brother and his girlfriend stayed over a few nights. I love having them over! Sometimes I get so wrapped up in our conversations that time just flies by. Texas also got a lot of rain last week which was much needed for our area. Emery had an afternoon filled with mud cakes and knee deep puddles that mommy didn’t approve of but grandma couldn’t say no to. Despite my urge to cringe and the germ infested water I allowed her a few minutes before hauling her off to the shower. Now as much as I love the rain our front yard looked awful. It stunk like mud and water that had been sitting for too long. Ewe. We had one final storm on Thursday and it’s been hot and sunny every since.

Also on Tuesday of last week a friend of mine came back from Afghanistan! I've missed his face! When I was seventeen I had a close group of guy friends, that were a few years older than me. I met them when they were in college through a mutual friend. I hit it off with all of them. And not in that “Oh my gosh, they’re so cute” kind of way. With them, everything was easy. They treated me like one of the guys, but looked after me like a little sister when I needed it. We’ve all remained very close throughout the years. My friend Dane, however was in the army. So he’s been off on deployments throughout the entire time I've known him. But, he’s back now for awhile! And even though we all have our own things going on we’ve always managed to still get together. So when the other guys decided on having a welcome home get together for him last Wednesday, I jumped at the chance to get to see everyone together again.

Being around these guys, really makes me see what true friends are all about. We don’t have to be around each other all of the time. We don’t get mad if someone doesn’t call or text every few days. We all have an understanding that we’re grown up and we have different lives and responsibilities. But, when we get together it’s just as if we’re back in that dorm hanging out, throwing back a few beers. It’s easy. I can’t say that about a lot of people that have come into our lives. I think that’s why I only have a hand full of friends. But because of these guys, I feel truly blessed to know what real friends are. Last Wednesday, was no exception. And even though we probably won’t all get to see each other again until Dane’s wedding, I’m perfectly okay with that.

Wordless Wednesday

It's Back?

I have a colorful past. But over time, I thought I had overcome everything. At least everything from that part of my life. I thought I had set my weaknesses aside and was moving forward as a stronger human being. One that could overcome anything being put in their way. So far, I’ve done a really good job of this, I think. But lately, my moods have been throwing me off. I’m happy and then irritated. I’m fine and then really upset. I’ve been really really tired, and I find myself always wanting to nap. My energy is at an all time low. My appetite goes from being insatiable to nonexistent. I’m constantly unhappy and way too emotional for my liking.

At first, I thought I was pregnant again. But 3 tests later, and the results are still the same. So I took a day to really think about what’s going on in my head. What’s really going on with my body; with my emotions. And then it hit me:

Depression. 
It’s back.

So, I’ve decided to start looking into alternative and healthier ways to help get myself feeling a bit better. My first steps are to get myself on vitamins and get back into running full time to get those endorphin's going. This always seemed to help in the past and I’ve noticed that my change in attitude and feelings only started to creep back up when I stopped doing those two things. And if it’s not actually depression making a comeback then it still won’t hurt for me to get back into that routine. But if it is back, I refuse to let it dictate my life and my emotions. I refuse to let myself be medicated again. And I refuse to let it take control like it’s done in the past.

So I guess this means I just might be stronger after all, huh?

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Wordless{ish} Wednesday

p.s. Blogger is not posting when it's suppose to.

So, I'm setting the dates correctly, and publishing

my drafts. 

2 Going On 16

I love my kid. I really really do. But lately, she’s been quite annoying. *gasp* Yea, I said it. It’s been constant whaling over nothing. More kicking, screaming, and hitting than I can seem to handle. And defiant to the very end. Compliments of the Terrible two’s I suppose. It’s like one day I had a perfectly content and obedient child, and then BAM! Rebellious teenager with a major attitude problem and a knack for hitting. She so smart too. She picks up on everything. There are times when I get my exact words fed right back to me. I think that's what's most irritating about the entire ordeal. When we're trying to discipline and she turns it right back around on us. Then she cocks her head to the side and smiles like she's done nothing wrong. My husband and I are usually left wondering whether we should be proud of her growing vocabulary or infuriated with the tone she recites them in?

For now, I'm hoping that this is her testing our limits. I'm hoping to believe that it is just a phase "every kid goes through". And I'm praying that once she sees that we're not letting up on being firm and strict with her at home that she’ll eventually start to settle down. Until then, wish me luck.

Monday Blues

Ugh. Monday.

I vote that we have four day weeks, and 3 day weekends. Just a thought.

This weekend was way too short. On Friday, my back pain flared up. Bad. I didn't feel like cooking and neither did my husband so we had dinner out. By 7 pm my back was in a lot of pain. It was not pleasant and I spent the rest of the evening in bed. My mom gave me a bit of a rub down, in hopes that it might help until I was able to go see a chiropractor. Thankfully by Saturday morning, my pain was limited to just one spot on my lower back instead of my entire back. I even tested it out by jumping on the treadmill for a few minutes and I'm happy to report that my back didn't give out. :)

That day we didn't do much. It was pretty hot during the day so we mainly stayed indoors. I’ve been really tired lately, and combined with my back problems I was in no mood to be going out and doing much of anything. I popped Tylenol like candy, and Emery stayed entertained with Netflix and her toys. Yea, I felt pretty crappy for letting the TV babysit my daughter. Judge away. My parents “came over” at a certain point and took her into town before cabin fever set in. I took this opportunity to take a nap and it was freakin’ awesome! Saturday night, we had dinner with my mother-in-law and then when we got back home I got to spend some time with some friends. We had ourselves a few beers, sat on the tailgate, and just talked. We could have stayed out there all night but we all had things to do on Sunday. So, we turned in around midnight. I'm such a rebel, huh? 

Sunday, we did some cleaning, laundry, took naps, and then finally made it into town to visit with my mother-in-law again. Once we got home, we got some good news about the job my husband has been waiting to hear back from. Turns out that the department gave my dad the “go ahead” to get a resume from my husband! The manager told my dad that he would hire my husband but that it could take up to 3 weeks before he would be able to start just because they still have to go through all the same channels as they would with anyone else. So we’re looking at a start date towards the end of June beginning of July. This is such awesome news! To say that I’m excited would be a huge understatement. This job has a great starting pay, steady raises, and some awesome benefits. These are all things that we could use right now. If things go as I would like them to, we could be completely out from under our debt by the end of this year. Yea, the job is that good. And maybe by the beginning of next year we could finally rent a place of our own. So here’s hoping we keep getting good news!

Hope everyone else had a lovely weekend!

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Day Dreamin'

I’ve been missing California a lot lately. I miss the palm trees. I've almost gone as far as to thinking about buying one to plant. But, I don’t think it would survive. Then, last week I chatted with my friend Kami over Facebook, and that made me miss it even more. For now, I just keep telling myself that NEXT summer, we’ll pay a visit. Since summer classes are out of the question for me we’ll always have that time to do as we please. Silver lining...? I think so. 

Maybe.

Until then, all I have are daydreams, memories, pictures, and video from our trip back in January. So on days like today, when I find myself really wanting to be back there, I just watch this video. With the volume up. Just so it will take me back and hold me over till I see it again. 

Happy Friday!

p.s. My other husband

released his new single on Wednesday.
Check it out here.