Slow Living // The Opposite

My “slow living” attempt has hit a bit of a snag. And it’s not for lack of trying, we just have a lot going on. It’s become very apparent to us that we need to work on some changes ASAP, and we’ve switched gears. While we still managed to have a “Summer of No Plans,” that desire to slow down our everyday lives just hasn’t come to fruition.

Corey has been working 60+ hours a week. We’ve been attempting to catch up on the bills that we got behind on at the beginning of the year. And trust me, that is hard to do. Then, we had an unexpected ER bill which we’ll have to start chipping away at this month. Thankfully, Emery’s braces are almost paid off, so we can put that extra towards other bills. And finally, we’ve concluded that we have to move. The home we are currently in has become a money pit. And it’s one repair after another. Keep in mind that we rent. So, we are in talks with a mortgage broker to establish a game plan. We can’t afford to move at this very moment, but we need to know the next steps so we can by next summer.

While Emery is out for the summer, her school still has plenty for them to do. From weekly workouts to camps. And my daughter has been attending as much as she can every week. Now, as we close in on the beginning of the school year, the cheer practices have started and so have conditioning workouts. We’re also in the middle of back-to-school shopping, and salon appointments. And it feels like we still have so much to do before that first day.

As for decluttering, well, my husband did a great job in the last round. But now with a new little member of our family coming along, I’ve already received several secondhand items and clothes that I need to sort through. It’s all gone up into the attic, but I need to sift through everything soon. While I am so appreciative of these items, I’m also dreading having to go through everything. We have some things in our living room that take up what was once open space, and I’m not going to lie, it gives me a bit of anxiety. Our living room looks small again. It feels like all of the hard work we put into decreasing visual clutter just went down the drain.

And so, I am struggling. I’m struggling to find a place for everything. I’m struggling to feel content with my home. I constantly feel overwhelmed by it. But I keep telling myself that this is just a season. We will eventually have space. We will eventually have our own home. We will eventually be able to slow down again. This current season of life will pass and things will get better. Eventually. For now, I just need to hang on.

Slow Living // The Summer of No Plans

Last month my husband had an unexpected day off. And instead of getting some much-needed rest, he decluttered our house. He packed up some stuff for storage, cleaned the kitchen, and swept the entire house. It was my Mother’s Day gift. He knew I had not been feeling well, I was exhausted and completely unmotivated. The state of our house was causing me even more anxiety. And so, he gave me a pretty wonderful gift.

Since then, we’ve maintained it pretty well. I’ve slacked on PUTTING UP the laundry, but not on having laundry DONE. So, I’m calling that a win. But the rest of the house is pretty minimal, and we clean all the rooms probably 1-2 times a week. Minus my teenager's room because: pick your battles. I still have to go through my huge DVD collection, and I’ve been casually browsing Facebook Marketplace for a good deal on a bookshelf to display all of my books again. As Corey said, “I’d rather you have books on display than a bunch of DVDs we never watch.” Still, I have some pretty great movies I’m not willing to part with, however, in the land of streaming services we pretty much have access to all of them digitally already. So, in a way, he’s right. It is time to get rid of most of them.

Enough about that; moving along. This summer, we have no plans. Originally, I wanted to go to California to visit my bestie. I also wanted to plan a girls' trip for Emery and myself. However, we’ve had some recent developments that have placed those plans on the back burner. Instead, we’ve talked about a 4th of July weekend trip to visit friends, but that’s still up in the air. Other than that, we plan to just be at home this summer. Enjoying some slow days and our animals. This wasn’t what our teenager wanted to hear but it is what it is.

I’ve been trying to make a better effort to stay at home. My feed is constantly flooded with pictures of trips and luxury vacations. Families that get to spend thousands at amusement parks. People buying new houses and cars. Or moms getting to have weekly shopping hauls at Ulta. And while I would love nothing more than to stay at a fancy hotel for a week with my family to explore a foreign country it’s not in our cards. We can’t financially do that. And instead of getting all bummed out about it, I have to tell myself that I have everything I need right here. My family, home, baby goats, and wide open spaces. So for now, I just need to be happy with that. Maybe one day I can take that vacation or we can buy a house, but we’re not in that season right now. And that’s okay.

📸: introvertedbossgirl

One of the aspects of “slow living” that drew me in was the idea of being content with less. Less is more. Less is more. It’s also a way to become truly aware of how materialistic our lives can become. And how, if not kept in check, can turn into something negative. Of course, there’s also the appeal of being able to slow down in all areas of my life. Slow down my day-to-day. Slow down my work schedule. Rest and reset more. All of which are things that we can benefit from. Even if implemented for short periods. Now, not everyone in my home is on board with this. It's actually been a cause of tension sometimes. But I’m trying my best to make that shift for myself. That said, I’ve realized this will be a constant work in progress for me. But again, that’s okay. Baby steps are just as important as the leaps and bounds. 

Slow Living // Shortcomings

Back in February, I mentioned wanting to focus more on slow living. It’s this idea of slowing down, reducing stress, simplifying, and focusing more on things that bring you joy. True joy. Ideally, we would start with a full house declutter. This would allow us to clear our space before working on other areas. And while that is still the goal, I haven’t even been able to get the process started.

We did manage to do one round of decluttering, but there is still so much more we can remove from our home. While it’s overwhelming to me, if I’m being honest our home is NOT that bad. I promise. I just tend to get overstimulated very easily. Then that places me in a state of feeling overwhelmed. Once I’m in that headspace it’s hard to get motivated to do much of anything other than the bare minimum. So, that was all a roundabout way of saying - I’m strugglin’.

I do have a plan, and I have ideas of what I want to accomplish. However, as I‘ve stated on many occasions it’s hard for us to find time on the weekends or during the week to make some progress in the areas we need. There are also times when my husband is away for several days or a weekend due to tournaments, and that puts a hold on me getting rid of larger items. So, I try to schedule these decluttering days when we are both home and have a free day. I hope we have some time this weekend to get it done, but if we don't I'll have to wait until the end of the month. And while I feel this rush to just get this all done, I’m doing my best to be okay with this pace. So, that’s where I’m at with that.

In the meantime, I’ve started to place hard boundaries regarding home/work life. This includes muting work notifications after my work hours. I caught myself a few times answering requests and checking my email outside of those hours which is a big "no-no" for me. So, I've reinforced that boundary. I’ve also started to delegate when necessary. And I’m taking advantage of my wellness time too. Twice a week I use my wellness time for movement of some kind, and it's helped my mood. Also, if I need to take a sick day, I do it. No more pushing through for the sake of being a “team player”. If I’m sick, I’m sick, and I need the rest.

As for home life, I'm trying not to do a lot. My goal is to be comfortable staying at home. Spend time at home, with my family, and my animals. While I am an introvert, and I usually do stay at home our weekends are usually all booked up. I feel this rush to get errands done, and then fit in all my "catch-up chores" in one day. It's exhausting. We spend a lot of time making store runs and end up spending more than we should. Then there's my teenager who thinks we should be doing something all of the time. I told her one day, "You need to be okay with being bored. Read a book, pick up your room, or find something to make." She wasn't a fan of that response. But, it's the truth. We're always going, going, and it's expected almost every weekend that we DO something. And well, that's just unrealistic. So, I'm doing my best to break that habit. 

Now, I was hoping to be a lot further along in the process than I am, but that just hasn't been the case. However, I am making an effort to be more mindful of how I approach things. I try to ask myself some questions before making decisions about what needs to be done and what can wait.  The same goes for material things. Do I actually need it or do I just want it? It helps me to take a step back and evaluate. That said, I don't do this all of the time. Again, it's a work in progress. But still, I'm trying. And that's what really counts. 

Rooted & Slow

Lately, I’ve felt like I’ve had a lot of overstimulation. I’ve also started feeling very overwhelmed and anxious at home. This has had me thinking about those two words that kept coming to mind as we ended Christmas and started the new year: rooted & slow. I’ve been thinking a lot about what they mean to me and how I want to apply them to my life. While I know it won’t be easy, I really feel this pull to live simply and intentionally this year. To take root and slow down.

📸:An early morning in July 2023

So, we have a lot of stuff again. I have no idea how we do this every year. This stuff usually causes a lot of noise in my head. From the cluttered dressers to the pile of clothes that my closet has no room for. To the extra furniture in the living room and the shelves of DVDs, we don’t ever watch. And then all of the “forgotten” items that we’ve tossed up into the attic. There are some days when I want to take it all out into my backyard and set it on fire. But that just seems wasteful. So, last weekend I decided that another decluttering session and closet cleanout were necessary. There’s just something about having less in my home that makes me feel really happy. I’ve also been telling myself lately that I need to be intentional with my purchases. While I know I have to have a set of work clothes, I should be able to size down my everyday wardrobe. And there shouldn’t be a need for me to purchase more for at least a year or two. Since the idea of simplicity is calming to me I feel like I need this in all areas of my life.

We’ve also been discussing housing options lately. And for the longest time, I didn’t feel ready to make a huge decision about where we would live. Which is why I have always liked to rent. There was always that “safety net” of being able to move once my lease ended if I needed to. Or to renew if I was still good with where I lived. And if for some reason I had to break my lease, there were options that seemed much easier than what would come with a mortgage. However, while I’m not entirely sure when this happened, my views have changed. I want to stay in one town now. I don’t want my daughter to have to switch schools for a third time. I want to own something and make it ours. And if we expand our family, I want to have the extra space. So, we’ve recently been looking into what our options would be, by choosing to stay here. We’re looking into purchasing and remodeling our current home, but also what the cost would be to build a new home or purchase an existing one closer to town. We aren’t huge fans of purchasing closer to town, as we love living in the country, but we haven’t ruled it out completely. The more we’ve talked about our options, the more I feel this need to be rooted in one place.

Something else I’ve really wanted to put effort into - because being busy seems to be a common theme for us - is slow living. Currently, we have plans almost every weekend, and that’s on top of several activities during the week. While I know some of it can’t be avoided, like Emery’s school functions. Some other stuff can be voluntarily cut back on. For example, I don’t have to make it to every run group meet-up. I don’t have to make three trips to town just because. I don’t have to say “yes” to every little request. And while I am grateful for my job, I don’t need to volunteer extra time when I don’t have it. Boundaries. What I do want to make time for is waking up early to have coffee with my husband on our back porch. I want to make time for cleaning and keeping my home maintained. I want to be perfectly okay with a boring day. I want to make time for our animals and dogs and maybe add a few extra livestock to the “farm”. I want my calendar and planner to be open for the most part. And I don’t want to feel like I’m spread so thin that I can’t do anything besides survive.

So, that’s what’s been on my mind lately, what I’ve been feeling in my heart. I went back to revisit the last post I made about this and watched some of those YouTubers I had linked in the post. I needed some inspiration and some help to get a plan together. I’ll do phases again, to not get super overwhelmed. We completed the first round of phase 1 (decluttering kitchen and closet) last weekend, and I’m hoping to finish that up this weekend. But I really feel ready to dive into these ideas this year. To look into what these words truly mean to me and how I can actively apply them to my life. Here’s to rooted, slow, and simple living.