Slow Living // Shortcomings

Back in February, I mentioned wanting to focus more on slow living. It’s this idea of slowing down, reducing stress, simplifying, and focusing more on things that bring you joy. True joy. Ideally, we would start with a full house declutter. This would allow us to clear our space before working on other areas. And while that is still the goal, I haven’t even been able to get the process started.

We did manage to do one round of decluttering, but there is still so much more we can remove from our home. While it’s overwhelming to me, if I’m being honest our home is NOT that bad. I promise. I just tend to get overstimulated very easily. Then that places me in a state of feeling overwhelmed. Once I’m in that headspace it’s hard to get motivated to do much of anything other than the bare minimum. So, that was all a roundabout way of saying - I’m strugglin’.

I do have a plan, and I have ideas of what I want to accomplish. However, as I‘ve stated on many occasions it’s hard for us to find time on the weekends or during the week to make some progress in the areas we need. There are also times when my husband is away for several days or a weekend due to tournaments, and that puts a hold on me getting rid of larger items. So, I try to schedule these decluttering days when we are both home and have a free day. I hope we have some time this weekend to get it done, but if we don't I'll have to wait until the end of the month. And while I feel this rush to just get this all done, I’m doing my best to be okay with this pace. So, that’s where I’m at with that.

In the meantime, I’ve started to place hard boundaries regarding home/work life. This includes muting work notifications after my work hours. I caught myself a few times answering requests and checking my email outside of those hours which is a big "no-no" for me. So, I've reinforced that boundary. I’ve also started to delegate when necessary. And I’m taking advantage of my wellness time too. Twice a week I use my wellness time for movement of some kind, and it's helped my mood. Also, if I need to take a sick day, I do it. No more pushing through for the sake of being a “team player”. If I’m sick, I’m sick, and I need the rest.

As for home life, I'm trying not to do a lot. My goal is to be comfortable staying at home. Spend time at home, with my family, and my animals. While I am an introvert, and I usually do stay at home our weekends are usually all booked up. I feel this rush to get errands done, and then fit in all my "catch-up chores" in one day. It's exhausting. We spend a lot of time making store runs and end up spending more than we should. Then there's my teenager who thinks we should be doing something all of the time. I told her one day, "You need to be okay with being bored. Read a book, pick up your room, or find something to make." She wasn't a fan of that response. But, it's the truth. We're always going, going, and it's expected almost every weekend that we DO something. And well, that's just unrealistic. So, I'm doing my best to break that habit. 

Now, I was hoping to be a lot further along in the process than I am, but that just hasn't been the case. However, I am making an effort to be more mindful of how I approach things. I try to ask myself some questions before making decisions about what needs to be done and what can wait.  The same goes for material things. Do I actually need it or do I just want it? It helps me to take a step back and evaluate. That said, I don't do this all of the time. Again, it's a work in progress. But still, I'm trying. And that's what really counts. 

Rooted & Slow

Lately, I’ve felt like I’ve had a lot of overstimulation. I’ve also started feeling very overwhelmed and anxious at home. This has had me thinking about those two words that kept coming to mind as we ended Christmas and started the new year: rooted & slow. I’ve been thinking a lot about what they mean to me and how I want to apply them to my life. While I know it won’t be easy, I really feel this pull to live simply and intentionally this year. To take root and slow down.

📸:An early morning in July 2023

So, we have a lot of stuff again. I have no idea how we do this every year. This stuff usually causes a lot of noise in my head. From the cluttered dressers to the pile of clothes that my closet has no room for. To the extra furniture in the living room and the shelves of DVDs, we don’t ever watch. And then all of the “forgotten” items that we’ve tossed up into the attic. There are some days when I want to take it all out into my backyard and set it on fire. But that just seems wasteful. So, last weekend I decided that another decluttering session and closet cleanout were necessary. There’s just something about having less in my home that makes me feel really happy. I’ve also been telling myself lately that I need to be intentional with my purchases. While I know I have to have a set of work clothes, I should be able to size down my everyday wardrobe. And there shouldn’t be a need for me to purchase more for at least a year or two. Since the idea of simplicity is calming to me I feel like I need this in all areas of my life.

We’ve also been discussing housing options lately. And for the longest time, I didn’t feel ready to make a huge decision about where we would live. Which is why I have always liked to rent. There was always that “safety net” of being able to move once my lease ended if I needed to. Or to renew if I was still good with where I lived. And if for some reason I had to break my lease, there were options that seemed much easier than what would come with a mortgage. However, while I’m not entirely sure when this happened, my views have changed. I want to stay in one town now. I don’t want my daughter to have to switch schools for a third time. I want to own something and make it ours. And if we expand our family, I want to have the extra space. So, we’ve recently been looking into what our options would be, by choosing to stay here. We’re looking into purchasing and remodeling our current home, but also what the cost would be to build a new home or purchase an existing one closer to town. We aren’t huge fans of purchasing closer to town, as we love living in the country, but we haven’t ruled it out completely. The more we’ve talked about our options, the more I feel this need to be rooted in one place.

Something else I’ve really wanted to put effort into - because being busy seems to be a common theme for us - is slow living. Currently, we have plans almost every weekend, and that’s on top of several activities during the week. While I know some of it can’t be avoided, like Emery’s school functions. Some other stuff can be voluntarily cut back on. For example, I don’t have to make it to every run group meet-up. I don’t have to make three trips to town just because. I don’t have to say “yes” to every little request. And while I am grateful for my job, I don’t need to volunteer extra time when I don’t have it. Boundaries. What I do want to make time for is waking up early to have coffee with my husband on our back porch. I want to make time for cleaning and keeping my home maintained. I want to be perfectly okay with a boring day. I want to make time for our animals and dogs and maybe add a few extra livestock to the “farm”. I want my calendar and planner to be open for the most part. And I don’t want to feel like I’m spread so thin that I can’t do anything besides survive.

So, that’s what’s been on my mind lately, what I’ve been feeling in my heart. I went back to revisit the last post I made about this and watched some of those YouTubers I had linked in the post. I needed some inspiration and some help to get a plan together. I’ll do phases again, to not get super overwhelmed. We completed the first round of phase 1 (decluttering kitchen and closet) last weekend, and I’m hoping to finish that up this weekend. But I really feel ready to dive into these ideas this year. To look into what these words truly mean to me and how I can actively apply them to my life. Here’s to rooted, slow, and simple living.

Simplifying

Lately, my home has been an enormous cause of stress. There were things everywhere. Storage containers were stacked and shoved in every little nook. Cabinets were overflowing with plastic food containers. My tiny closet was bursting at the seams. My hanging shoe rack was so heavy the door sagged. The bathroom was a mess, and everything was overflowing. On most days, I wished I could just stay in my car rather than face the anxiety-inducing chaos that my home perpetually stays in. Then there were the days when I just wanted to stay in bed and not even bother because getting everything in order was daunting.

One evening as I dumped the contents of the laundry basket on our bed - knowing dang well that I would just be stuffing it all back after a few hours, I looked over at Corey and said, “I need a housewife.” No shade to housewives out there. I know you keep households running, and what you do matters. Corey laughed and replied, “I don’t think that will work.” I glared at the clothes, but he wasn’t wrong. However, I find it hard to set aside time to maintain our home between school, work, and the slumps of depression I occasionally fall into. And this is so frustrating to me. I wish I had an extra me that could dedicate hours to staying on top of daily chores, errands, and cleaning. Hence, my wish for someone that could stay home and maintain order in my home. After our little conversation, I placed some clothes in the dresser, and the rest went back into the basket just like I knew they would.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

As I lay in bed that night, I started thinking about our stuff. Why did we have so many things? Why was our house so cluttered? Why was I holding on to things I hadn’t touched in months - years? That’s when I hit up the good ole’ YouTube. And I came across these three creators - Madisun Gray, Malama Life, and Wild We Roam - each going through some version of minimalism. Now, let me pump the breaks - I was not about to go full-on minimalist. But they all brought up really great points. They each talk about making intentional purchases and putting money aside for experiences. They made videos about reducing excesses and donating what you don’t need. And they all tend to live very simply with the idea of having a slow and joyful life. And I desperately wanted a version of that for myself. Because when I take a step back and look at the bigger picture - I want to spend more time enjoying life than being stressed out by it.

So, around the 6th video, it clicked that things were just that - things. More stuff doesn’t actually bring joy or happiness into your life. Sure, there’s excitement for something “new,” but that quickly fades away. And I felt that this could apply to all areas of life. Why was I following creators on social media that I didn’t really care about? Why was I holding onto size L and M clothes? I will never be that size again, and I know it. Why do we have paper clutter in boxes - bills and receipts from years ago? Why did we have so many pots, pans, and food containers? Why was I keeping the extra, half-empty bottle of shampoo/conditioner/hair products? It was like I had opened up Pandora’s box. I kept asking “Why?” to everything, and the answers were no longer good enough.

The next day I sent some ideas to Corey, and we decided to start decluttering as soon as possible. We would break it down into rounds/phases. We picked a Saturday that we were both free and began Round 1. We purchased bedding, curtains, and cookware set. Corey decluttered the cabinets and placed our old stuff into throw-away piles and donation boxes. I went through our bathroom and walked out with a 13-gallon trash bag full of items we no longer needed. We reviewed our cleaning supplies and eliminated many toxic solutions we weren’t using. Some stayed, but only because I hate wasting money. We cleaned the living room and got rid of extra décor and tables. When we reached the bedroom, we cleared off our dressers, swept under the bed, and decided to go through our clothes. I even threw out old makeup and makeup brushes and organized the items I had left. By the time we were finished, we had a truck bed full of trash and several boxes and trash bags full of donation items.

And that was just Round 1! Round 2 will consist of me going through my closet again and hitting my shoe rack and storage containers pretty hard. Then I want to do a thorough paper decluttering. We will go through some of the same rooms we’ve already covered to see if we can eliminate anything else. After some thought, I’ve decided to eliminate a few more things. Round 3 will have us going through all the storage containers, shelves, and boxes in the laundry room. And then, we finally start on the outside of our home for Round 4. This is probably the most daunting part of it. A lot of stuff outside needs to be dumped or moved. We also have to start building our dog kennel area since the old one is falling apart and needs to come down. It’s a big undertaking, so we’re spreading it over the next few months.

All of this is to say that even just completing Round 1 has been an enormous help. Our home feels open and stays relatively clean. My closet has more space, and it’s become easier to pick out outfits. While the content creators I found were pretty hardcore, I definitely recommend giving them a watch. Even if it’s just to get some inspiration the way I did. You don’t have to go as extreme, but they have some pretty great ideas and suggestions. Ultimately, the goal for us is to maintain our home better. It’s to look at our purchases from a different perspective and put money towards things that actually matter to us, like building a house or taking a vacation. And if less truly is more - then here’s to simplifying away.