Kids can be mean. I know this, I've always known this. And once you have your own kid, that meanness will come to your front door a few times (unless your kids the one being mean). But, I honestly didn't know how young it started.
Emery’s behavior has changed quite a bit in the past few months and I didn’t get why. After a few weeks, I’m not gonna lie, I got a bit frustrated at times with her attitude. She had always been perfectly fine with me not holding her, listening when we said no, and she never lifted a finger towards another child/adult. She was always wanting to do everything on her own. Occasionally she’d have a bit of a temper tantrum, and since she was having more teeth come in I summed up her moods as the on comings of the “terrible twos” and a bad case of teething. It was nothing out of ordinary and like I said the tantrums were only so often. She’s now become more clingy, she hits, pulls hair, and she cries when you take things away or don’t give her what she wants. The crying has been an EVERY day thing. It gets a bit exhausting.
Well, this past weekend we were invited to go to our babysitter’s daughter’s Sweet 15 party. Once we got there, 2 of the 4 other kids our babysitter takes care of were there. Immediately, Emery wanted to go play with them. So, I let her go. Since this was a pretty big hall, and two of the exits were wide open, my husband and I took turns watching her while still trying to be polite and social. I honestly have no clue how some of those parents just let their kids run around with no supervision. Some little ones managed to sneak outside! We noticed that the two kids were leading her around, and at times yanking her by her arm. So my husband, went over and kind of supervised the kids. When he came back, a few minutes later, they were helping her climb up the stairs. They are old wooden stairs, and they don’t have railings. So, my husband went and got her down. Then, they would try and lead her outside. My husband and I both went and told the other kids that Emery had to stay inside. They could only go outside if I or my husband were with her. They said they understood. Five minutes later, they’re trying to lead her outside again. Keep in mind, that they’re still yanking her around by her arms.
I finally had enough, and brought Emery to our table. She was all red, but she seemed to be having fun. Giggling and laughing. She kept wanting to go back with the other kids and play, but we made her eat some food, and get some water before getting back to playing. When I finally let her out of the chair, she immediately ran to the other little girl that our sitter takes care of. That little girl yanked Emery by her arm so hard that Emery almost fell over. So my daughter gave a bit of a grunt, and pulled her arm back. The little girl smacked her arm, and walked away. I was flabbergasted (yea I totally just used that word). Emery looked at me in confusion, and then followed the little girl. Now, I don’t know what was going through my kids head, but it looked like the smack was something she was used to because she kept following that little girl and laughing. She was kind of running around, and babbling her own little language. Well, don’t you know that little girl starts walking behind her and shoving her. Repeatedly! Finally she shoved her so hard that Emery fell flat on her face. At this point, I’m pissed. So, as I started walking over, my husband said he’d go instead. We looked back over to our daughter and that little girl was trying to drag her by her hair!! I was livid. My husband ran over, and picked Emery up. He told the little girl that it wasn’t nice to pull other kids hair and he brought Emery back.
That little girl’s parents weren’t even paying attention! They were too busy taking photographs, and talking. Emery sat with us for awhile, but we felt it was unfair for her to watch other kids playing, and her have to sit and do nothing. Eventually, my husband talked me into letting her down to play with one of the little boys that kept asking if she could. He said “I take care of her.” So, I explained no yanking and no going outside. It was a good ten minutes before that little girl came up behind them, and shoved Emery again. This time it was in front of her parents, and it caused Emery to fall on her knees. Do you know what those parents did? They said “No, no” and walked away. WTH!??! Seriously?!?! That’s it?! That’s all you’re going to say, “No”??
I was pissed off. My husband finally went over and told the kids to keep Emery right by our table. And I wanted nothing more than to take that little girl over my knee. But she’s not my kid, and I’d get in trouble. Still, I now see where Emery’s behavior is coming from. I never really put it together that her attitude changed about a month or two after that little girl started going to our sitter’s. But after watching that little girl and how she treated other kids, and how she was treating Emery I see where it’s coming from. And it explains why Emery’s face and neck were all scratched up a few weeks ago.
I don’t blame the babysitter. If a parent says that you can’t spank their kid, you can’t spank. And that little girl is sneaky! She looks around to see if her parents are watching before she does anything. She’s not even 5 years old yet!! This is crazy scary! And now, I don’t know what to do about it. Emery isn’t old enough to understand the whole “bully” concept, or how to stick up for herself. I can’t afford to put her in a daycare, and my sitter would be heart broken (they’ve become like family). So, I’m at a loss really. How do you address these issues, and make them stop? And how do you teach a 19 month old how to defend themselves when they don't really understand what's going on?
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