Discovering My Non-Negotiables

Photo by freddie marriage on Unsplash

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want out of a job. Back in September, I was listening to this episode of Interview Boss, and the title was “Job regrets? What to do when your new job sucks.” I didn’t think too much of it because I was still working at my previous place of employment, and I didn’t have any new job prospects. So, I kind of zoned out through it. Then, right before Christmas break, I wondered what I had gotten myself into by taking on this new job. It wasn't that it sucked; it's a decent job. It was just going in a completely different direction than what I was originally told. There were 3 major changes, and from one day to the next, I had responsibilities put on my shoulders that I hadn’t signed up for. And I just felt so stressed out and overwhelmed. So, as I was heading into work one morning, I thought about that episode and decided to give it another listen.

As I listened to these two women talk, it made me think about what I wanted. And I started thinking about what was important to me. At one point, one of them asks about non-negotiables. So, I started thinking about what my non-negotiables were - right then. Had my priorities changed? Would they change again anytime soon? And I began to think about how my previous job and this new job made me feel. I knew that nothing out there would be perfect, but what were the things I found important that I didn’t want to compromise on? For instance, was pay a major factor? Or was a flexible schedule more important? Was the work environment a deal breaker? And so, I started coming up with a list of things I wanted in a job.

• A good work environment // I don’t want to dread going to work. I don’t want to deal with people talking badly about each other - every single day. I know that workplaces have gossip, and not everyone is going to get along. But I firmly believe that good leadership can have a lot of influence over how often and how long these behaviors are allowed to go on. Having toxic coworkers is not fun, and I want to limit it as much as possible.

• Good benefits for myself and my family // Medical and dental insurance are important to me because I have a family, and I also would like to add to it in the future. Not having insurance or having a terrible plan is not something I’m okay with. Even the best individual plan through the Affordable Care Act sounds like a joke regarding premiums, copays, and deductibles.

• Good starting pay ($48k net) with reasonable yearly raises // The price of everything has gone up. The cost of living is getting higher. And as long as I’m doing good work, I feel it should be compensated accordingly. And it should be equal to anyone else at the same level. Man or woman. 

• 40 hours of vacation and 40 hours of sick time to start automatically // I’ve been in the workforce for a very long time. My work history shows that I am loyal and consistent. Starting over without these benefits while having a daughter and family is not ideal. So, this is something I wish I could negotiate.

• An 8 a.m. -5 p.m. workday // I want to clock in, do my job, and clock out. While I’d be flexible if it were an EA position, I want clear boundaries. I want to have a good work/life balance. And I don’t want to be made to feel bad for that, either. This is one way to help avoid burnout.

• Training and learning opportunities // I want to be good at my job. I want to advance and stay up to date with skills in my career. And I want to make the employer feel/see that I’m worth the money I’m being paid. So, being able to attend a conference, take a course, or go to a workshop each year would be amazing.

• The option to work from home in case of an emergency // When kids get sick or when we have to make a last-minute trip out of town due to emergencies, I’d like the ability to work from home or remotely. I enjoy going into a physical office away from my house to work. Still, there have been times in the past when I wished I could have been able to work remotely rather than burn through my vacation - especially since my job was almost exclusively done on a computer.

• A wellness program // Extra time (30-45 minutes) either during lunch or before/after work that I can take to work out at a local gym, run, or attend a therapy session. Limited to twice a week max. Our physical and mental well-being is super important. I’d like to work for a company or business that understands that.

I get that some of these may not be 100% attainable. But I feel like there’s room for negotiations on most of these. And the right employer will be open to discussing them. However, sometimes I think that being in a small town limits these opportunities because they’re all pretty “modern” concepts that many businesses around here aren’t necessarily on board with yet. So, maybe this is all just a long shot. A “dream job” that doesn’t exist. But after finishing that podcast episode, I realized that I currently have at least three non-negotiables. And that's something I can work with going forward. 

Work Matters // Not What I Signed Up For

Back in October when they came to me about this new role - I brought up the job description that I received and mentioned I had questions. This is when I was told that the job description was a “formality”. The President himself had said that a lot of the duties on the piece of paper were no longer applicable. That was one of the main reasons for me saying yes to taking this on. I was told that there would be flexibility in my schedule, and an option to work remotely if needed, and this job was supposed to be very similar to what I was already doing at my previous place of employment. Just with a “better work/life balance”. And while the nonprofit was a part of the university - it didn’t function under the same rules which gave us more wiggle room for our attire and the mandatory school functions staff are expected to attend. So, I felt like this was an opportunity I should at least give a shot. And when I received my former boss's support - I accepted. 

Now, when I arrived at my new job, I felt pretty excited! This felt like a "big girl" job. Since I was a tad nervous I arrived about 15 minutes early on my first day. I wanted to get a jump start on my day, make a good impression, and I really wanted to meet the team. Only - no one was there. I waited another 15 minutes before I received a text that someone was running behind but one of my new coworkers would be there soon to let me in. So, color me surprised when that coworker, the person who I later found out would be in charge of training me, had no clue I had even been hired. Our greeting was rushed and since they had no idea I would be there, they had no game plan for the day. That's when the Executive Assistant showed up, who was technically off for the week, but wanted to help me get things going. So, what was already going to be a chaotic day was quickly turning into more of a cluster. But these things happen - so I just ran with it. I had already assumed that the first week would be a little rough. 

During my first half week, I had about 6 meetings in total. I received a very disorganized crash course on daily operations. And then as I sat down with different members of each division I would be working closely with - it dawned on me that each one had a different expectation of what my job was going to be. And each one was claiming that their version was the right version. In between all of that, I had to find time to organize my office. Because it was previously used as storage so there were boxes upon boxes stacked in all corners. Office supplies were bursting from the shelves, and there were so many outdated supplies that I had no use for but couldn't be thrown away. The filing system was also hard to make sense of and I found paperwork dating back to the ’60s. By the time the half week was over - I was ready for the break.

Then came my first full week. We were still having issues with my credentials for certain software, and I was having to cram for finals so we pushed off my "formal" training to the next week. In the meantime, I would be helping out here and there. Learning a few nonjob-specific things. Attending more meetings and doing lunch with several different groups. And this is when people started to really tell me what was going on. This is when I started to get a real feel of who people were too. I officially met the “popular” group and the “mean” ones. The employees that kept to themselves, and those that were excluded from everything. I was informed of the motives behind my hiring. Of the people being pushed out. Plans that someone else had for me to move to a different department. And that the job description I was originally given, along with the conversation I had had with several members, was not aligned with what my role would eventually turn into. In fact, it was heading in the completely opposite direction. I wrapped that week up with a few lessons and a lot more insight into how this particular department worked.

As I entered my second full week - I was asking myself, "What did you get yourself into?" I mean, nothing was turning out as it originally seemed. I met with the Vice President and brought up my concerns, and opinions because it’s what was asked. I left that room feeling very dismissed and my questions had been skirted around without any actual answers being given. Then came the “forced early retirement” of a director. Followed by the bombshell that my supervisor had given their notice just hours before our weekly meeting. And that there would be three people stepping up to take his place. Then the EA that had been so helpful when I started, officially announced that they was moving out of that role. This was all interwoven with gossip and rumors that had been circulating in the office all week. And once I was pulled aside by an Assistant Vice President - I was made aware that the majority of the directors had the opinion that the person training me was not a valuable member of the team. When I attempted to broach the subject - the person training me already knew. "They've had this plan for years. As soon as you are trained - I'll be let go." And this is the main reason why they wanted to bring someone in a lot sooner than they had originally planned. So, after everything I've experienced in the three weeks that I've been here, it looks and sounds like the expectation is for me to run this entire nonprofit as soon as they can get this other person out. And there will be no other employees brought on board to help. So, as you might have gathered by now, this is NOT what I signed up for. 

Four Lovely Days

I get a four day weekend starting Thursday!! Woot Woot! Guys, I am so excited about this!! You better believe I plan on sleeping in at least ONCE during this extended weekend. Or at the very least fitting in a long nap. Oh, I can’t wait! LOL!

Anyway, we still haven’t decided where we’re going to spend Thanksgiving at. This has always been the issue around the Holidays. Since both of our families always invite us to go spend at least part of the day with them we’ve been pretty good about visiting both. One side would have lunch, the other dinner. But this year, they are BOTH wanting to do dinner, and have asked us over so they can see Emery. I hate this. I feel like I’m having to choose between which family we want to spend our time with and that’s not the case at all. I’ve already heard one complaint over Facebook from a relative about us not going over and it’s giving me such a headache. We really need to work out a schedule, alternate years, or something? Still, by noon on Thursday we’ll have to decide. Until then, I’m totally going to live in oblivion.

On another note, Emery is actually starting to feel better today. She’s been sick for a few days and she lost her voice over the weekend. I know this is going to sound awful, but it was pretty funny watching her try to throw a tantrum and NOT be able to scream at the top of her lungs. Ah, the little things. Thankfully she’s feeling better, and I hope whatever she had was not contagious. Other than that, we haven’t really been up to much. Just, relaxing at home. I've come to terms with the fact that this semester will end badly. I’ll definitely have to retake a class or two over the summer, but I can live with that. I know it might hurt my GPA right now, but I’ll have a chance to redeem myself later. Oh! I almost forgot, my husband is also working at a restaurant now! He was training for two weeks and he had short hours so his first check wasn't what he expected, but now his boss man has him at full time. He’s not thrilled with this job because he’s always been a laborer and he prefers that, but it’s a job. He’s still looking at other places though. But for now this helps. Until the next post I hope everyone else has a wonderful week! And a lovely Thanksgiving!

Halen David Is Here & Some More News!

Wednesday morning we woke up to a text from my friend (that had been sent at 2 am) letting us know that his fiancé had been induced. It was officially baby time! I let him know that we would stop by after I was off work, and hopefully Halen would already have arrived by then. Sure enough, I received a picture message letting me know just that around noon. You guys, he was absolutely adorable! Tiny little peach fuzz for hair, and some seriously “pinch-able” cheeks. Just looking at him made me want to go get myself pregnant.

Halen David McKamey 

 6 lbs. 13 oz. 

19” long 

He looks so much like his daddy! And thankfully, once we were at the hospital that afternoon I was able to get my baby fix. He’s even more precious in person. Such tiny little hands and feet. Look at that face!! Omg, my ovaries.

I am so excited for them! Brett is going to be an awesome dad too. Just sitting there with him in that room, and I could already see such a change in him. So attentive, and so in love. I've known him for years, and even just a few weeks ago, he was telling me "how it was going to be". All that went right out the window. LOL! That little guy has his daddy so wrapped.

When I was holding Halen I had such a rush of nostalgia. And I was a little bit sad for myself because I barely remember Emery being that small. You never forget, and you can always recall those memories. But, I no longer see her as that tiny little baby. She's a full fledged TODDLER. And holding Halen brought back all of those memories. I ending up telling my husband “We are so having another one. I want another one!” Everything felt all magical, and the idea of a new baby was just so awesome! I was sitting there with Halen and I totally pictured myself with another baby. Maybe not right then but even if I got pregnant while still in school I felt like we could handle it. Yeeaaa, then Emery started getting jealous, whining, running around, and trying to crawl up onto my lap like a wild child while I was holding him. Totally nipped that train of the thought real quick! I crashed back to reality and seriously debated getting my head checked for thinking such crazy thoughts. LOL! But seriously, I miss those “infant” months. I miss the tiny little socks, onesies, and baby breath. I miss those tiny stretches Emery used to do, and her tiny little yawns. She slept so much too. It was so peaceful! *sigh* Once we left the hospital my "baby fever” had curbed. Now if only Nate or Dane would get their wives pregnant, I’ll be set for the next few years. LOL! At least until (and if) we're ready to have another one.

And now on to some more good news. Right before we left for the hospital, my husband got the call from FMC about a job interview! It’s not exactly the position we were hoping for, and the hours will take some getting used to, but my dad said he won’t be in that area permanently. After 2-3 months he can bid out to work in a different area and even a different shift. My dad said he’d even try to get him into his area  and shift as soon as he was able to. But beggars can't be choosers and we really thankful for this opportunity. Now, I don’t want to get ahead of ourselves. These are all still “ifs” because he hasn’t actually been hired. His interview is today at 3:30 pm. We’ve been a little worried because we know other guys are being interviewed as well. So we're just praying everything goes well and in my husband's favor.

If you get a chance wish us some luck, send some good vibes, or say a little prayer. Our little family really needs to have two incomes coming in right now. Especially with school right around the corner. We’d really appreciate it.

Patiently Waiting

Over the weekend, my dad informed us that a position has opened up for my husband. His supervisor and my brother’s supervisor both told my dad that they had an opening with my husband in mind so we should be expecting a call within the next two weeks. They still have to go through “all of the motions”, a formality, but my dad told us it’s a sure thing.

I. AM. SO. EXCITED! Our savings has dwindled quite a bit, and I’ve been having to work through all of my lunches just to give us the extra cash we need. These past few months, we’ve had a lot of commitments that we couldn’t turn down or reschedule. So, our budget was stretched pretty tight. Thanks to my parents not charging us for rent or utilities until my husband once again has a job, we’ve been able to manage.

But guys, when I say that I’m tired. I mean it. By the time Friday afternoon hits, I’d be totally capable of sleeping through the entire weekend. But I can’t. And then Monday rolls around and I have to added up our bills for the week. Then, I mentally calculate how many hours I need to work in order for us to get by. I was even ready to get rid of my iPhone for a regular talk & text phone. In fact, I’m still debating it. It’s just so hard to let go of all of those handy little apps. *sigh* So spoiled.

So now it’s just a waiting game. I doubt we will hear anything until next week, but man I can’t wait. We need this. I’m a little tired of pinching pennies. And I’m more than ready for us to start saving in order to move out. Seriously. As much as I love having my parents so close, I’m just ready to have our own, fully functioning, place. I’m ready to have some breathing room in our lives as well as in our pockets. So wish us luck or say a little prayer in our direction. Fingers crossed that we hear something sooner rather than later.

An Offer That I May Have to Refuse...

This morning, my dad showed me a document that was given to him by the company he works for about a job opening. The position is for a Customer Service Representative but it’s in Bakersfield, CA. He asked me if I would want to take it. He told me to think about it, the money was good, and if I decided I wanted it he’d put in a word for me. Now, my dad has a lot of pull when it comes to hiring. He’s not a suit either. He works in the factory, and he’s in there making the parts with all the other works. But when it comes to emergency repairs, hiring new people, and training they always come to him. He’s the go to guy. So for him to “put in a word” more often than not will guarantee me the position.

At first, I was so ecstatic that I almost said yes. We'd finally be back in California!! Maybe not exactly where we had hoped, but still it would be in CALIFORNIA! That idea alone was enticing. But then I realized I can’t just say yes. I have to talk to my husband first. There are so many things to consider before making a big leap like that. I have a job here that I wouldn’t want to just quit without giving at least a two weeks notice to. They've been really good to me and I wouldn’t want to just up and leave them hanging. I’m also currently going to school. Moving would probably cause me to be set back and who knows when I’d get back to my studies or if I’d have the time? And since my husband isn’t currently working, a move like that would deplete our savings entirely. This thought alone leaves a bad feeling in my stomach.

So as much as I’d love to say “Yes, let’s do it!” I have to think about things realistically. We have to think about things realistically. Would we be able to make this move? Is it in our best interest, as a family, right now? Should I postpone my studies? None of these I currently have an answer to. My dad told me to take a week to think about it, let him know, and then we’d go from there if I decided I wanted to apply for it. There seem to be so many obstacles and one major decision. This decision could change our lives, or keep us on our current track. Either way I know that no matter what, my husband and I will make the right decision for our family. 

Lets Recap Shall We?

There has been a lot on my mind lately, and I've written plenty of little drafts. So, along with today's post I'll include all of the other short ones. Here we go:

Baby Monster

The little monster is doing WAY better today.  So the verdict came in and she had: A cold, ear infection, and the beginning of strep throat. Fun, fun huh?  The doc actually saw us early, pretty quickly, and then she only charged me $40 this time because we saw her (she’s our regular pediatrician) instead of her hubs. She gave us prescriptions to some generic stuff which only cost us $4 for each one (Em has to take two different kinds). Yay!! But then, I went and spent a good amount on ORGANIC food. So much for saving? My boss let me take the rest of yesterday as well as half of today off to care for my little babes. They are seriously, the BEST bosses EVER! I feel truly blessed. And today Em is more spunky than she was yesterday. You can see such a difference in just her eyes. Yesterday she was so droopy and sad. But today she’s actually play around! On the road to getting better I’d say.

Valentine’s Day

My hubby is not a romantic guy. So, I’ve never really expected to do much on Valentines like all of the other couples do. And this past Valentine’s was no different. But, he did take me to go get a new laptop!! My husband has pretty much taken over our old one, and he thought it would be nice for each of us to have our own. So mommy got this:

I am a lover of HP stuff. Mainly because of the prices (DELL forever!), and so when I saw this at the store, I was in love! I really wanted the 15.6” one, but they were completely sold out. By the time I would have gotten to go back up to Best Buy it would have been off sale. So I went with the 14” instead. I got home, unpacked it, and started charging it up! The next day I started transferring all of my stuff from the old computer to my new one. I started going through the pictures when I realized there was something wrong with the screen. Everything looked washed out. People looked too bright, or red. Black and white pictures looked too blue. So I did the “Color Calibration” thing and that didn’t work. I tried adjusting the brightness and that didn’t work either. So, after the first week I wanted to take it back BUT this dumb dumb –points at herself- LOST the receipt. Yes, the mother that saves every gas receipt in the world lost the one that went to her brand new laptop. Way to go!!! NOT! So now, I must live with the washed out screen. It kind of annoys me, but hey it serves it’s purpose. I blog on it (like now) and I upload pictures. So, I shall just deal with it.

Work

I like my job. But sometimes I feel as if I’m not “up to speed”. This stuff is HARD to learn and some customers are flat out rude and won’t even give me a chance. Sometimes I feel as if I’m just holding the company back. I’m not as fast as my manager and sometimes that annoys people. And usually this leaves me with very little to do. I’m feeling a little inadequate. Overwhelmed. Stuck. Not quite sure what to do about it either? My “test” is coming up in June, too. The boss man is taking a vacation and I’ll be here alone for a week and a half! Craaaaaaaap! Pray for me?

Money Money Money

I’m so sad to see you go! But, it’s benefiting us in the long run so I guess, I shall.  Our income tax return came in and it’s now time to say goodbye. And it won’t be spent on a vacation either. {insert sad depressed face here} Today we shall begin the first phase in getting my hubs out of trouble and finally able to get his license. Then, we will send off on medical bills. Pay off the credit card. And hopefully, be at least 2/3 out of the debt we’ve collected! So that maybe NEXT year, we can get a house with our income tax. Or take a vacation at the very least (before they start making us buy an extra ticket for Em). It’s still just a bit depressing knowing what we COULD have gotten instead. Oh well, the price we pay for being “young and dumb”.

Ok, so that about wraps things up for me. I know this post was pretty boring, but this has been it for me. Nothing new, or exciting. Time to get ready for work! 

Blog Writers Block

Ahhh!! It has been a while since I've written and I apologize. Things have been really crazy lately. My new job, all of my new year's resolutions, a sick baby, and my husband's new job have left very LITTLE time to write (-ahem- type). So I shall do a brief catch up post:

1. My new job rocks! It has been a bit slow at the office, but things are picking up. My manager and the owners are such lovely people, that it's hard thinking anyone could ever work for someone like my old boss. Tyrant! Things have been moving forward, smoothly. I am very grateful! I thank God every time I pass by my old workplace for getting me out of it.

2. My husband got a job! We have been praying for this!! As much as he loves staying at home with our daughter, he also felt as if he was not contributing to our family the way he should. He would get restless and then all down in the dumps. But there were no job openings for a very long time. He was due to go out of state for a job, but it would only be for two months. THEN, this opportunity arose. After weighing our options, he decided to take the job. It is closer to home, full time, and it means a steady paycheck! It is going to help out SO much in getting our debt paid off and that is exactly what we need right now! Again, THANK YOU, GOD!

3. New Years Resolutions SUCK! Yes, they really do. I'm a bit overwhelmed with all of them, but mainly the one that has me back into my skinny jeans. Uggh! I fall off the bandwagon CONSTANTLY! I'm doing this by counting calories on My Fitness Pal. I used to use LoseIt!, but they were limited on items and brands. Anywho, I was on this great streak for like 3 weeks, and then my monthly cycle came, and it went all downhill from there. I started going OVER my budget. Then with it being COLD, I stopped running as much. I thought about doing workouts indoors, but I've been getting home late, and my lunch breaks have been getting cut short because it's starting to pick up. So, I've barely had any time to do anything. Anyway, I had gone down from 183 lbs. to 170 lbs. Now, I am back up to 175 lbs. And then, I received this "warning" on my calorie counter that said if I went to many days UNDER my calorie budget that my body would kick into "starvation mode". Meaning it would start to get hungry A LOT. Causing me to gain weight instead of losing it. UGH!! I just want this belly fat GONE! But I honestly have very little willpower. And seeing pictures of my "old self" are so discouraging. Boooo! No fun. No progress.

4. Cold/Flu Bug. Everyone is sick! My entire family (with the exception of me –which is weird-) is sick or just now getting over being sick. Emery is just now getting over it. She's been miserable! She had fevers, congestion, runny nose, and a really bad cough. We are without insurance, and her doctor has YET to call me back to let me know if they have an opening to see her. She's pretty much over it now though. Then, add the fact that she's teething (bad) and it has not been good times in the Rosenbalm household lately. Thank goodness it is almost over with, I hope...

Not much else has happened. I am trying to start (slowly) a habit of getting up early and being more prepared. Even more "presentable". BUT, that's not going over too well with my sleeping habit. I love sleep! I know, I need to suck it up and start being better and more "on the ball" about things, but really? I am just flat out lazy right now. It snowed a tiny bit yesterday morning, and I was all excited! By 3 pm it had stopped and there was no sign of it coming back. Sad day. Today it's all sunny but cold. Tricked me. I'm so ready for spring to roll in. Running works so much better when your throat doesn't burn from sucking in cold air. Hmmph! I need to do some spring cleaning as well! Can't do that in 20-30 degree weather!   

Hope everyone is doing peachy! Leave me some LOVE!

Sorry!!

Ahh! It has been so hectic!! I'm sorry I haven't kept up with writing as frequently as I should. But here you go, a new post just for you guys!!

So, after almost 3 years (2 months shy) at Vet Outlet, and their mistreatment and un-appreciation, I have finally moved on!! The co-worker that had quit before told me of this job with an FMC distributor. I applied, interviewed, and that weekend I got the call that they wanted me. They gave me a drastic pay increase, and I just could not refuse it. It has been a blessing! This company is so laid back, and very small. But the people are so amazing. So helpful and appreciative. So much different than the atmosphere at Vet Outlet. I mean, really different. Before I was afraid to ask too many questions or change things up a bit because they would scold you, or shun you. Several other employees, including myself, were always wondering who was going to be in the "dog house" that day. But here, they encourage me to have an opinion and to change things up. They have stated that they want me to be comfortable and to always ask questions. And so this past MONDAY, I quit Vet Outlet. Didn't tell anyone except for the owner (who had a meeting that afternoon and told everyone else). I went about my day like nothing had changed. Of course, I was talked about, and when the news came out no one talked to me, but whatever. No skin off my nose! Then, Tuesday, I started my new job.

So far, I love it. Yes, it's a bit different, and a little overwhelming. But the owner has told me that he doesn't expect me to learn all of this in just a few months. He said it takes years. So there's no pressure. Right now I'm just listening, answering the phone, and learning the routines from my manager. He has been very patient with me and I actually ENJOY coming to work. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?? I ENJOY it! LOL! So here we go! I couldn't be more thrilled to be out of my old workplace and into a new one. I am so excited about the possibilities, and the growth that I can come from working here.  I thank God for giving me this opportunity because it was much needed.

My punkin is getting older! I can not believe she's almost a year old!! So much to plan for her first birthday, it's ridiculous!!! Things between the hubby and I couldn't be better! And we are on our way to having a running vehicle! We have been missing California so much lately, that we have agreed to try and get our car fixed, and pay off a few bills with whatever we get from our income tax return. Then, whatever is left we will put towards plane tickets to California!! It might not be much, but a little bit helps. Other than that, nothing much has been new. Things here on my blog might be a little slow until I can get a routine going. Which I promise will be soon!

Ok, well, I better go! Hope everyone out there is doing well!! 

Job Interview

So, I had an interview yesterday. I felt a little guilty for lying about why I had to take a half day, but this interview wasn’t going to wait for me. The reason I gave is VERY real, but the appointment won’t be for another 3 months. I don’t know why I feel so guilty. These people treat me like crap.

But enough about that let me tell you about the job! It’s called Buck Horn Pumps- yes, very country. They had a laid-back atmosphere; calm, no tension. No dress code other than, PJ’s are a no-no is what I was told. They seemed like really nice people, Christian, and it’s a very small business with a total of 5 employees. The job is a customer service position but you never deal with people up front. Everything is done by email or phone. They ship out pumps for all kinds of facilities- like a mini FMC. The only hard part about the job seems to be learning the parts. The drive is a bit further BUT, to get out of here, I’d travel. The owner’s wife (the only office person there right now) is a firm believer in recycling, and they said that they don’t believe that degrees mean you’re better than someone else. It’s all about how hard you work, and them seeing that you are putting in an effort. Pay will be discussed with whoever they decide to hire.

It is in many ways the same, and yet very different from what I do now. But everything was so relaxed. Just stepping into the building and not having that tension or bad feelings was lovely. They wanted to know about me and my family –they know my parents, and an aunt and uncle. The only thing I was really concerned about was insurance (they only cover employees) but the lady said that that could change. I’m completely terrified. After being at one place for so long, and then having to start ALL over again on a “probation period” would be very scary. It IS very scary. Out of twenty applicants, they only chose four people to interview. They had one other person left to interview before deciding anything. They said they’d let me know by tonight what their decision turns out to be. I’m trying to not get my hopes up.

I am nervous and anxious. And even if I don’t get this job, my first interview in three years was a pleasant one. So I won’t be so nervous about having to do others if I have to. It’s always that first one that makes me a bit jittery. So wish me luck! I hope I get this. And if not, well, I must keep on looking. It is time for me to leave this place, that’s for sure.   

Taking Charge; Moving On

I am being set up to fail. Anytime I think of something or come up with an idea it is taken from me or cast aside. Someone else takes the credit, and I’m left there with my jaw on the floor. Do you know how annoying that is? This place is filled with such worldly, materialistic, vain women and I find myself holding my tongue A LOT. Do you know how hard that is for me? Do you?? I was, am a very blunt person. If I think you’re an asshole, I’d let you know. I’m not a fake and it drives me crazy when people are. If you don’t like someone, then don’t like them. But be honest about it. Don’t talk shit behind their backs and then be all besties when they’re around. I’m no angel, and I talk shit sometimes, BUT I am not one to do it behind your back. I’ll tell it to your face if you’re around. If you ever come up amongst friends or in a conversation, I’m not about to pretend that I like you either. This applies to everyone in my life.

So yesterday when a co-worker (a friend) of mine quit because she was tired of being used as a rug, and tired of people bullying her, I was there for full support. But I was ashamed of myself because when the owner told our manager of this news, immediately after he walked out, she called over her “lap dog” and told her of the news and they laughed. Laughed! This is what they wanted all along. For her to leave and they were getting just that. I said nothing. I sat there and watched. I did not partake, but I should have been the ballsy, blunt, bitch of my youth and at least told them to fuck off or shut up. But I was a coward. I am in no position to risk my job right now and that’s what I am worried about losing. My friend has another job already, so she said what was on her mind and that was that. Until I get that same opportunity, I can’t say too much or I’ll get fired. But do hear me when I say this, If any shit talking occurs at HER expense today, you can bet your sweet ass that I will stick up for her. This has gone on long enough.

This morning, my mother let them know her opinion on the matter. And I just agreed with everything she said. I should have put my two cents in but I didn’t. She pretty much covered it all. The big boss lady is now fuming and accusing my mom of judging her. And maybe she was? But, my mom has a tendency, like me, to call it as she sees it (at the workplace anyway). Of course, her two little minions stood up for her and said that she was such a fair boss and that being the manager she couldn’t always be our friend. She has to make decisions that not everyone will like, which is true. But, you have to be EQUAL with all of your employees. And her two favorite kiss asses have not ever been on the other side of the fence. Why? Well, because she likes them. For example: when her “lap dog’s” horse died, she let her take the day off. When a service tech’s wife was going to have surgery because she had a tumor in her stomach and he asked off she said: “Well, we all have our problems.” He had to come to work. Or, whenever I got griped at for texting my husband AFTER HOURS, but she’ll let the lab technician ANSWER her phone whenever she wants. I’ve been here THREE years this next February, and I am being passed up for promotions. The part-timer gets an even bigger office than what she already has, next week. Everyone here is making at least double-digit pay, except me. If I do something wrong or mess up, I get told that I need to learn and fix it on my own. When her little minions screw up, SHE fixes it for them. And the list could go on and on because I have so many things I’ve seen and had done to me, all day!  

This is NOT a good workplace. And I know that my friend had a hard time leaving because it means uncertainty and because she has to start over. But, the only things keeping me here are insurance, an income, and my daughter. I suck it up for my family. Not for too much longer though. After the way they treated my friend, and after being “kicked” around myself, I officially registered for classes yesterday at Weatherford College. This Thursday I have to turn in my financial aid stuff, and I’ve decided to try and get into the “Dental Assistant” program. It takes 6-9 months, and I come out certified! Ready to jump into a career and if I ever decide to take on being a dentist, I get points for completing that program. So I wouldn’t have to retake the course!!

So here’s to change. Here’s to living MY life. Here’s to getting out of this shit hole. And here’s to leaving behind all the bullshit (and assholes) right along with it!!