Back To School, I Think?

Lately, things at work have been pretty awful. And it was confirmed that I am the LOWEST paid employee. Then, a co-worker of mine said he was officially going back to college. He said “Raquel, if I can go back, so can you.” And this got me thinking. I do need to go back to school. I need to have a career, or at least get certified in something so that I can make a better living for my family and myself. So, I started looking at schools in my area because being a full-time worker, and a MOTHER leaves me with some obstacles. I want to be able to do some if not most of my schooling ONLINE. Ranger seemed like the obvious choice but you can’t do your basics online. Then Weatherford College was suggested. They have more classes online, and they have more of a selection in certified programs. So, I’m looking into both. Wish me luck!!

I want to get something as quickly as I can because lately, we’ve been talking about our future. Where we want to live. Where we want to go. How we’d like to raise Emery. And all of these topics involve us moving somewhere. Not sure where yet, but we both want to get out of here. We want to start fresh. Really start our lives in a place that is healthy, and stable for all of us. Yes, we have talked about going back to California as well, but we’ve both agreed that right now would not be a good time to go in that direction (permanently). There are no jobs out there right now, and with neither one of us having anything besides a high school diploma, we really wouldn’t have a lot of job options anyways. I would love to go somewhere new. Somewhere that has all the seasons! Or somewhere close to a beach. I love the smell of the ocean. I miss it.

Other than that, not much has been new. I’ve been busy trying to get into a work out routine, and my husband has even joined me. I want/need to lose some weight. So by the time we’re done I’m tired and ready to fall into bed, and pass out. I’ve also been trying to focus as much on Emery as I can. She’s pulling herself up now, and she has even stood up (balanced) by herself for a few seconds. Plus with the teething kicking in, she’s been a tad bit grumpy and edgy. Demanding our full attention at all times. But, I can’t complain. Seeing her grow has been an amazing thing. 

16 Things I'd Tell My 16 Year Old Self

Not the most important things, and I just wrote whatever popped into my head at that very moment (not a lot of thought went into it). So don't take this too seriously. Also, this is not in any particular order.

•  Bills Suck. No really, they do.
• Working for money, is SOOO not what it's made out to be.
• Cars cost money. Lots and Lots of money. Wrecking them costs even more.
• Credit cards are bad.
• Life really is UNFAIR
• When you're in California, at the pool hall, and you and some friends decide you want to go smoke and drink outside. DON'T! If you do, lots of money and a drivers license will be taken away.  
• Pregnancy is not all "sun kissed glow", and fun times. You'll look like shit 80% of the time.  
• Child birth HURTS, but you do forget the pain, so don't stress .
•  NEVER stop exercising, YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU DO!
• WAIT, don't be in a hurry to grow up, it's not what it's all cracked up to be!
• Daddy, will eventually stop paying for things.
• Go to college.
• Don't date guys you think you can fix. It gets messy (and M.U. cheats on you anyways). 
• Friends WILL eventually replace you, so stop acting like they're your whole life.
• Never take Beau out of California.
• Never take the job offer at Vet Outlet (seriously, STAY AWAY!!).

Now your turn. What would you, tell you're16-year-old self?

Reality

I need to win a couple million dollars so I don't ever have to work again. I need it so I can also pay off all of our debt/bills, have another baby, have the surgery to shrink my tummy and get rid of the stretch marks AFTER I've had the baby, buy a house, buy us another car, be a stay at home mommy, be able to homeschool my little ones (or maybe send to a private school?), and finally to pay for their college education.

That is what I want.

Unfortunately, I will never win that money.

Unfortunately, I will spend a good amount of the money we earn paying off our debt instead of putting it away for EMERY'S college (and future car).

Unfortunately, I will have to work for the rest of my life.

Unfortunately, I will probably have to send Emery to public school.

Unfortunately, we'll have to depend on scholarships to help us get Emery into/through college.

Unfortunately, I will be driving around the explorer until it breaks down.

Unfortunately, I will never get that surgery, and my stretch marks will continue to laugh in my face.  

That is reality.

The point of this?

Just to let you know my reality kind of sucks right now.

I'm in a downer mood, and I feel the need to share.