Recently, my husband and I have been talking about where we want to be in the future. Before, our plan was to get our butts back to California as soon as we possibly could. Then the plan changed, and we said we’d wait till after I graduated. Now, we just aren’t sure. We know that we want to move away from here. This place hasn’t done much for us. Maybe it’s because we know too many people or because we have such a crappy past with it, but we’ve both agreed that we don’t want to stay here permanently. My husband is fond of the Fort Worth/ Benbrook area, but I want no part of that. We both really liked Austin, because of it’s musical vibe. And of course we love the Murrieta/Temecula area. Those have been the only options we’ve both agreed on, for now.
Our main concern however, is Emery. She’ll just be turning 5 when I graduate (if everything goes as planned), and I want us to have a plan by then. I know the future is constantly changing, but I’d hate to have to take her out of schools and away from any friends she's made when she's older just so we could move. We’re also keeping in mind that there are differences in how she’ll grow up depending on where we choose. We’ve seen the difference in kids from smaller towns compared to the ones in bigger cities. I know that I can't stereotype just because of a few encounters, and I’m sure it will all come down to how we (her parents) raise her. Still, it’s nice to have an environment that fully supports the same ideals you have in place. A common goal, if you will. Plus, I think it’s hard to explain to a child that they can’t do something other kids their age are doing because you don’t want them to. That could also be the push over in me speaking. In the end I can only speak of my experiences here. In our tiny town. Because I myself never grew up in a bigger city, and we currently aren’t raising our daughter in one.
That aside, I also worry about her educational opportunities. Currently, public education in America is at an all time low. Electives in smaller towns are limited. I’ve also seen first hand how unprepared some kids are when entering college. I don’t want this for Emery. So, my husband and I have talked about private schools. We have one private school in the town that I work at and it’s tuition is actually very reasonable. So it’s an option we are considering for when she starts Pre-K. But then, I Googled private schools in the other locations we've talked about and I was FLOORED. We’re looking at $5,000 plus per school year. That’s more than my college courses cost for two semesters! Now, a few months ago my parents made an offer to gladly contribute towards her education if we decided to go the private school route. I know that accepting their help would definitely take some of the burden off, but I don’t want to take my parents money. They’ve helped us out enough. So unless we decided to stay here I’m sure she’d end up in public school. For now, I'm kind of on the fence about this. I want Emery to have the best that we can give her. In all aspects of life. I want to make sure that not only I, but also the environment she grows up in, contributes to her growth and education in a good way. Then again who knows? We could have an addition to our family after I graduate, and then private school would definitely be out of the question.
So instead of just picking up and moving once I'm done with school, we now have to consider the option of possibly staying. Ugghh. Right now my head is just spinning at all of the decisions. There’s so much to consider and quite frankly, I have no idea why I’m stressing on this right now. It’s still quite a ways away before we really have to decide anything, right? I guess it’s just the inner control freak rearing it’s ugly head again. Telling me I need to have a plan now otherwise I'm a failure. But maybe this is a good thing. A way of helping us look into all of our options. Giving us adequate time to really make up our minds and decide our future with no pressure.
Then again, who knows?

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