No Loss, No Gain

I maintained my weight last month! No gain (except during that one lovely week out of the month), but no loss either. I’m currently at 164 lbs. 164 stubborn pounds. Woo Woo! You’d think by now, I’d be all slim and trim, but apparently everything refuses to stop giggling. Damn nasty fat. Stupid scale refuses to read anything less than that. Boooo!

Ok, who am I kidding? It’s my fault. I’ve indulged, and on some days gone over my calorie “allowance”. It’s so hard to say NO sometimes. Seriously, I have zero will power. I also need to start incorporating strength training to my work outs. Unfortunately for me these flabby arms aren’t going to tone up themselves. BUT have no idea where to even begin. I should start figuring it out soon though, huh? As for my midsection, well, it can go to hell. I’m literally about to cut it off myself. But before I get that extreme, I should probably start doing some different “core” exercises. Meh. It's like my wait takes shape, but I still have the baby pooch right smack in front that refuses to go down or tighten. :(

But at least I've noticed a tiny bit of shape, right? I've kept up with my running consistently enough, and I can see a tiny bit of a difference in my waist. I’ve also noticed that my main problem areas are my upper arms and my stomach flab. And to be quite honest, those six pounds that I’ve lost so far, may or may not have come from my boobs. I think the biggest confidence blow, besides stretchmarks, would have to be my boobs. Breastfeeding took it's toll on them and now I have saggy boobs. So I’ve been doing some digging; trying to find a workout or exercise move that will help get my ladies back into a decent position. They may not be “standing tall, proud, and perky” but even just “standing at attention” will do. Anything but saggy.

I also started running on the treadmill again. My shins were in pretty bad shape, and I wasn’t able to go farther than a mile before the pain started shooting up my shins and legs. I’m pleased to report that only after two weeks the pain has almost completely gone away! Yay me!! I’ve also found myself running faster and pushing harder because I can set the pace. There’s no going slower or faster, it’s just steady. But I miss the outdoors. I miss the scenery and the sun. A part of me thinks that maybe this is why I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Being cooped up in a room, has seriously put a kinky in the way my brain processes information. 

Why would this affect me? I seriously have no idea. But I do see a difference in my overall mood depending on how/on what I’m running on. When I’m outside I feel like I can think. I’m breathing fresh air, clearing out clearing my mind, and I can think about my day. I think about whatever it is that’s bothering me or just use the time to unwind. Once I was finished I felt better. But now that I’m running inside, all I can do is focus on the damn numbers flashing in front of me. I think about all the noise I’m making, and whether or not I’m interrupting my husband or Emery. I kind of feel boxed in, and I'm not entirely comfortable with that feeling. Still, I’m very much appreciative of the fact that my legs don’t hurt anymore. And I’ll take that over unbearable pain any day.

Today is my last day of the spring semester. I'll be taking three finals, back to back today. :( To say that I've been stress eating, wouldn't be too far off base, but I've been trying my best to "JUST SAY NO". Can't say that I haven't cheated though. But I'm hoping that after today I can relax and enjoy my summer off. I've even thought about joining this local 24 hour gym while I'm off, in hopes of having access to weights. Because this summer, I really have no excuses.