Milestones

Emery has usually been pretty good about hitting milestones about a month after most websites/books/doctors say she should. But, last Wednesday we had her 12 month check up (3 months late), and she had to have two shots. When the doctor asked me if she knew any words, I really had nothing for her. Emery really doesn't talk. She babbles, and she can literally say maybe five words:

Buh-bye 

(she waves while saying it)

Mama

(me)

Dadda

(my husband)

Nana

(my mom and bananas)

Ouch

(when she gets hurt)

And those three in the middle all sound the same, right? So it’s not like she’s really learning different ones. The doctor told me that around 1-1 1/2 years old most children know about ten or more words. Great. I’m a failure. My kid’s dumb. Then, right as she’s asking me about her language, and if she’s trying to speak at all Em goes straight to the diaper bag and pulls out her binky. “Oh! She still uses a pacifier?” Oh, boy. I must be the biggest failure ever! The doctor said that the binky can cause a delay in speech. She said that children have a tendency to want to point at things instead of saying them, especially if they are still allowed their binky. Well, Emery usually does point at what she wants. Man, if only the doctor knew how hard it is to get that damn paci away from my daughter, who actually seems to keep a stash hidden from me somewhere. I kid you not, I’ll take one away and before I know it either she’s found the one I took or she has a whole different one in her mouth?! Or I wonder if the doctor knows how hard it is to put her to sleep without her binky? Good lord, I’d be up till midnight if it weren’t for that thing. She went on about how it can also cause problems later on down the road, and how we can’t check if she’ll have speech problems due to the frenulum of the tongue until she starts to actually talk. That put some heat on me. I mean seriously? What am I suppose to do? Emery goes at her pace, and if she doesn’t want to say it she won’t. So, the doctor went on to check her reflexes, her eyesight, and her teeth. Everything looked perfect! Then she asked about what we were giving her to eat and drink. Well, she eats some of our food, but mainly baby stage three foods, and we give her 2% organic w/DHA milk. Apparently, most people switch to whole milk by now, and most kids are eating mainly regular food. Well, crap. I’m just not doing my job, huh? I told her I’d get her all switched up, and that I’d start working with her more on words. Emery got two shots (still hurts me to the core to watch that). Em cried out and tried reaching out to me, then the lady took her precious time with the second shot, and it was just awful! I’ll admit, my eyes watered up. It took a lot to keep me from crying right there.

When I got home, I talked to my husband about what the doctor said and he thought we should take the binky from her right away. No more binky, and more teaching. Well, that didn’t work as planned. She’s currently in her crib, with her binky. But then asked my mother, and she told me not to listen to the doctor. She said that we had our pacifiers till we were about two years old. My dad was upset at me for “relying on doctors so much”. That was a conversation, that I could have done without. But after a lot of thinking, I’ve decided on some things.

1) She will only get the binky before bedtime, and naps. She is not allowed to have it at any other time. Slowly easing the transition.

2) Along with reading books, I’ll be taking her outside more too. Kids learn from seeing, watching, and feeling.

3) We’ll change her over to whole milk as soon as I run out of the 2%, but it will still be organic.

4) My parents are really going to have to start obeying my rules when it comes to what she eats since I’ll be transitioning her to adult food.

So, now my questions: How do you guys feel about this? Do you think that the doctor is right? Should I take the binky away for good? When did you guys stop giving your kids baby food? Any good advice on helping speech comes along with a 1 1/2-year-old? And do you believe in these milestones, or are you more of a “they’ll learn when they’re ready” type?