California 2022

I forgot to post about our most recent visit to California. Back in August, we took a pretty short trip to visit family and friends. It was so wonderful being back! We ate a lot of yummy food, got plenty of time in with family and friends, visited the beach, and got some pretty great one-on-one time.

I will say that the beach did us pretty dirty this time around. Apparently, there was a Monsoon warning in effect - which no one had told us about. That’s also on me for not checking. Anyway, the waves were really strong, tall, and choppy. There was hardly any sand, it was all these round rocks. Emery was able to make it passed them, but I didn’t have the same luck. I took a few steps in, had trouble with my balance thanks to those rocks, and got knocked down. I tried to get up, but another wave hit me almost immediately after going down, and then I was dragged out a few feet. My legs, thighs, and hands were pretty scraped up. And Em said that she felt like she was starting to drown, but thankfully was able to go under and push her way forward with a wave.

Once we were both out of the water, we agreed that the Pacific Ocean was really freaking cold, and definitely a “let’s admire from the beach” type of ocean. Definitely not the warm, peaceful, Gulf of Mexico we have here in Texas. We quickly got dressed and decided to walk the pier before grabbing some food and doing some shopping. We got to visit some more relatives and then headed back to Menifee for the night. Our flight was the very next day and we needed to get an early start.

We said our goodbyes and headed to the airport pretty early. On our way, Emery said, “This was the perfect end-of-summer trip mom. And I know we wanted Corey here, but I’m also glad we got a girl's trip - just me and you.” And she was right! While I would have loved to show Corey around, and let him see some of the places/people that had such a huge impact on me - it was pretty great to get one-on-one time with little. I think we need to take these types of trips more often. For now, I’m just glad we got to see as much of our family as we possibly could. It was a fun little trip, and I can’t wait until we get to go back again. Maybe this time Corey will be able to join. 

Maggie Valley, North Carolina

Part of our July vacation took us to Maggie Valley, North Carolina. We stayed in a really lovely home right on the mountain. And let me just say that the view was beautiful! We had a nice view of the Great Smoky Mountains. There was a creek that ran right next to the house, and every morning we’d have our coffee right on the front deck. It was such a peaceful place. The weather was amazing as well! High 50's at night and low 80's during the day. If that. It usually rained a little during the early morning, but there was always a nice cool breeze brought with it. That being said, this was definitely the less eventful part of our trip. Which I didn’t mind - they had the Hallmark Channel. I was also injured on this trip so the more rest I had, the better.

On the first day, only the men went out to go fishing. The rest of us stayed at the house. Did I mention we only had one vehicle? The following day we were all able to get out and about. We spent our morning at the “Wheels Through Time” museum where we were able to catch a showing of “The Wall of Death”. If this crew ever stops in your town I highly recommend watching them. 

This was followed by a trip to Soco Falls. Now, I was determined to make this trek to see the waterfall, and I totally made it! It definitely took me a bit longer than everyone else, and there were a few sketchy spots that I avoided. But I made it to the areas I wanted to go to, and I was so dang proud of myself! Once we were done it was time to head back up the mountain to take the kids to a Fantasy Golf place they had been begging to go to since they caught sight of it. And it was well worth it because the kids had a blast! This was also my very first time playing putt-putt. And then it was off for a late lunch/early dinner before heading back to the cabin.

The following day was met with a sunny morning and we were up in time to attended mass at this beautiful Catholic Church that had two glass walls. I can’t even begin to explain the sense of peace I got when walking in. After mass, we took a few pictures and spoke with a few people about the church. We even saw two nuns! And then we were off, back up the mountain! Once we got back to the cabin it started to rain so we tried to wait it out. I was able to take a nap, rest my leg, and then we all decided to spend the rest of our time doing some shopping.

And that was about it for us. They did have a lot of great restaurants, and we had just missed the "Thunder in the Smokies" bike rally. This area is heavily traveled by motorcyclists so definitely be cautious of that if you're ever there. Overall, Maggie Valley was a hit! There were plenty of things for everyone to do. I really wish I hadn't hurt myself before the trip, because they had a lot of hiking trails close by that I missed out on. I wouldn't even mind going back! Though if we do, I'd like to visit Cherokee, NC - which was just 30 minutes down the other side of the mountain. I heard a lot of great things about it, but sadly I was outvoted. And next time I'd like to have our own vehicle! It was harder than we thought having everyone travel in one. Now, after six days of being off/on the road, I know a good chunk of us were ready to be back home. Back into a routine. And weirdly, we were all ready to sleep in our own beds. Even though our bed seriously needs replacing. And I don't know if it was the elevation, but I found myself in bed pretty early every night and easily tired throughout the day. And heavy, if that makes any sense? Still, overall, it was a beautiful place! I'm really glad we were invited and able to go. 

So, how is everyone's summer going? Any fun trips? New places to visit? Have you been to any of the places I've mentioned? What was your experience like? Let me know below. Until the next post, hwyl fawr!

The Ark Encounter

Well, we went on a semi-vacation, y’all. A few weeks ago we packed some suitcases, and everyone piled into a small SUV at 4AM. We drove all day, with a few stops here and there. And one little detour to visit the largest Bass Pro in the USA. Because let's be honest, how could a car full of hunting and fishing enthusiasts NOT stop? However, the ultimate destination was Williamstown, Kentucky and we made it there in about 16 hours. The townhouse we were staying in was very decent, and after settling in, everyone quickly explored the game room downstairs. However, we did get there pretty late, so we kept that to a minimum. The real adventure for us would be the next day. So, after a few hours, we got everyone ready for bed. Now the house we were staying at was only 5 miles down the road from the Ark. Since we had gotten in so late we ended up having a late start to the day. It was closing in on 10:00 by the time everyone was showered, dressed, and fed. Once everyone was ready we were off to start on our adventure! 

While the weather wasn’t anywhere near as hot as it has been in Texas, it was still in the mid-80s. Thankfully, we got there a little before 11 AM and the forecast called for a partly cloudy morning. As we made our way, you could catch a glimpse of the Ark from the road. And it was huge! I expected it to be big, but I didn’t realize just how big. Parking was a breeze, and the ticket lines moved very quickly. Then everyone was handed a map and an insert with all of the information for exhibits and short presentations. And as soon as we had our bracelets we were directed to a different area where the shuttle buses came to pick us up. The wait time here was probably 8-10 minutes. The buses run continuously and they had quite a few of them going back and forth so it didn’t take long for them to get back around to pick up/drop off another group.

Now, I won’t bore you with too many details, but let me just say that “The Ark Encounter” was an experience. From the minute you step off of the bus all the way until you board back on to leave. They have a lot of activities, exhibits, films, and short presentations. There’s a VR building that you can visit as well, which is really cool. But honestly, my favorite part was just being there. Walking into this massive boat - I mean it was huge. Learning about how it was built. The animals that were on board. Walking through some of the Bible, and then learning about how there are very similar accounts of what happened in every single country. There was so much to take in, and I still don’t think we had enough time to cover it all. Often, I found myself just standing there in awe of it all. And it was beautiful!

Tickets prices are: Adults 18-59 ($49.95), Youth 11-17 ($24.95), and Kids 10 and under are currently free. They do offer senior discounts as well as combo passes and annual passes. And while that may seem pricey upfront, it really wasn't bad considering everything that they offer. However, there are a lot of other extras that they offer which do cost an additional fee. There is more than one gift shop, a few outside vendors in order to grab a snack, and even an all-you-can-eat buffet-style restaurant. There was also a small bakery and coffee shop. They have a small zoo, a children’s playground, and a fossil find area. They have zip-lining, and camel rides for the kids as well. In total, we spent about 5 hours there, and this includes the VR experience as well as dinner at “Emzara’s Kitchen” which is located on the grounds right outside of the Ark. And we spent a little over $400 on a family of three (tickets & food included).

So, if the Ark is something you’ve been wanting to go see and visit, do it! I can’t stress that enough. It’s a wonderful experience. And while we didn’t have time to visit there is also a Creation Museum, about a 45-minute drive away which you can get combo tickets for if you have the time to visit. I feel like that was our mistake, not getting there early enough to make the extra trip to visit the museum. Now, a few tips would be to pack light for the day, get there early, and wear comfortable shoes. There’s a lot of walking involved. Also, if you tend to get cold easily, wear a light jacket or cardigan because they keep it nice and cool inside. If you have small children I definitely recommend bringing a stroller, and honestly eating there at the restaurant is probably the best thing you can do. They had a whole range of options and everyone in our party was satisfied. Even the picky eaters. We had kids ranging in age from 7 to 11, and they all expressed a lot of excitement throughout our day there. Most importantly though, just take your time and enjoy it!

California - Part II

If I were to write about everything that went down from the moment our plane touched down in LAX to the time that we were back up in the air on our way home, I would be writing for at least a few weeks. From the places we visited, the food we ate, and then to the things we did, I could write several posts. But I won’t put you through all of that. Instead, I’ll summarize as best as I can within this post and a final one I’ll publish sometime next week. For your sanity and mine- you’re welcome. 

We arrived as a surprise for my bestie. She had no idea that we were coming, and when we walked out from behind one of the vehicles you could see the surprise on her face. A little bit of “WTF, HOW ARE YOU HERE?” and some “OMG, MY HOUSE IS A MESS DON’T YOU DARE WALK-IN JUST YET!” And then we hugged, holding back tears, for the longest time. My gosh, I had missed her! Her laugh and sarcasm. Her mischievous looks or how she spoke volumes without having to say anything at all. Her sense of style but willingness to just hang out in oversized t-shirts and PJ bottoms. I missed having long talks, and how completely open we can be with each other. There is nothing off-limits when we get together. And just like always, we picked up as if no time had passed by since the last time we were in the same space. 

We had re-introductions all around. Emery and I both met her youngest son for the first time. The girls were so grown up and beautiful. We ate dinner and headed out to a frozen yogurt place in Lake Elsinore. The emotions I felt just driving into Menifee and seeing the city lit up at night almost had me in tears. I was back, y’all. The palm trees, the traffic, and perfect weather. I mean, there I was, sitting outside of a FroYo in CALIFORNIA! I was with my best friend, our kids, and it was the most wonderful Christmas gift. I felt so, so grateful for this experience. We hashed out a few plans but left a lot open to whatever ideas we could come up with as the days came. However, the most important matter of business, according to Emery, was that we went to see the ocean. So the next morning, after dropping off the kids at school, we grabbed some coffee and made our way down to Oceanside. She wanted to see the place that started it all.

California - Part I

On December 10th, I received a message from my best friend’s husband. She had been in a bit of a funk and he wanted to know if I would be able to visit. After checking my account and looking over my financial situation, I told him it would have to wait until the summer. Or possibly, if I were able to scrounge up enough cash, March at the earliest. It wouldn’t just be me going out there, after all, I’d have to pay for Emery as well. So, he asked me for our information and told me that he’d help out with the cost of the flights. I had just started looking for deals when I received an email notification from Spirit Airlines stating that our trip was booked. Only the dates had to be wrong because they were listed as December 12th with a return date of December 16th. 

I immediately sent him a message, asking about the flight information, and he told me that there wasn’t a mistake. “Merry Christmas!” After the shock wore off I realized that I had no idea if I could even go because Emery had already missed several days of school, and even though I had vacation time I wasn’t sure if I’d be allowed to take off with such short notice. After talking to my boss man I was given the green light to say “Yes” to this spur of the moment adventure. I spent the rest of the day getting things in order, and letting the rest of the sales guys know what was going on. The next step was to find out whether Emery was going to be allowed to take the time off from school. Thankfully, after speaking with the admin and having her look over Emery’s attendance I was told she would be okay to miss. I asked them to gather her homework and I would have my mom pick it up for us so she could get a jump start on her work once we got back. 

The next day I spent it getting caught up at work so I wouldn’t leave anything unfinished. When we got home I washed clothes, did some cleaning, made arrangements for our pets, and we packed. Our flight left at 6 AM so we’d have to leave by 3 AM to make the drive and get there on time. It was going to be a really early and long day for us, but totally worth it. In less than 24 hours we would be on California soil. We’d be in a city that saw a lot of my growth, the very messy transition from a teen to an adult. I would be able to hug my best friend, who I hadn’t seen in four years, and I’d get to love on her kids. Emery would get to see the place that inspired her name and as she so excitedly exclaimed, “Mom, I can’t believe I’m actually going to California and I’m actually going to remember it this time!” We checked and doubled checked everything in our bags. And then it was off to bed. Though I doubt either one of us got very much due to our excitement.

Three AM came quickly. We loaded everything up in the car. Decked out in leggings, chanclas, and hoodies we set off on our two-hour drive. We made it in time to clear security, find our gate, and grab some snacks along with breakfast. Now, if you ever fly with Spirit Airlines just know that they charge you for everything so make sure you have some cushion in your budget for that. Since Emery was a minor, and our flight was booked together I had selected the option of Spirit designating our seats instead of having to pay $23 per person to pick them ourselves. I assumed they did the same thing as Southwest Airlines, and put passengers together or in the same area if the flights were booked together. Well, when we checked-in I noticed that they had us at opposite ends of the plane. So, I spoke with one of the women at our gate and she happily switched our seats so we could sit together. And since I had purchased a carry-on, first zone boarding was included for free so Emery and I were able to board the plane first! We grabbed our things and settled into our seats. Within forty-five minutes our plane was backing out from the gate and headed towards the runway.

Wheeler Peak - New Mexico Part II

Have you ever seen a movie where a group of people start off on an adventure, and they just look so damn happy? They're all goofing off, and the trust is just so real. But then things take an ugly turn. There are tears, and yelling because obviously someone wasn't fucking listening. Yeaaahhh, this is the part of our hike where shit got real, y'all. We started off at a pretty decent pace, and as we passed these two older women they told us that we’d be up there in no time. “Y’all are doing great!” they hollered after us. We all took turns taking the lead as we hit switchback after switchback through the forest. We stopped to take a few sips of water, and get a breather every now and again. Never for more than two or three minutes though. And I remember that I kept saying, “Why the hell did I let y’all talk me into this?!” Kim and Carlos were quick to comeback at me with some smart ass replies, and I’d just bitch a little louder. At this point, my dad took off ahead of us because we we’re going too slow for his liking. Show off. And once we finally made it above the treeline onto this hillside I stopped. My head had started to hurt a bit, and it’s as if I could feel the liquids in my stomach sloshing around. My brother gave me some water, and a ClifBar to help my stomach settle a bit. I tried to milk that stop for as long as I could, but then my brother said “Alright, Raquel, get your ass up and keep moving. C’mon, one foot in front of the other. You’ve got this.” I was tempted to smack him with one of the trekking poles he had given me. “SHUT. UP.”, I grounded out. Reluctantly, I got back on my feet and pushed forward. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. We hit about two more switchbacks, consoled a crying/tired Emery, and then came across my worst nightmare.

With just two miles left to go we hit a section of rocks. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Raquel, they’re just rocks.” Well, yea, but these suckers were of all shapes and sizes. Some were sturdy, and others could cause you to twist an ankle. Or break something. Or fall. And the air was definitely thinner by this point which made breathing pretty damn hard. My fingers felt swollen, and my arms felt like they were being weighed down. I shook my head. "Nope. I'm not doing this." My brother looked over his shoulder at me, "YES, you are." I kept shaking me head, "No. I'm out. Send Emery back down. I'll wait here." My brother kept walking forward as he said, "She's already way ahead of us, and she's doing fine. C'mon, keep moving." Now, what I really wanted to do in that moment was throw the trekking poles at his head and tell him to shut the hell up. Instead, I gave myself a little pep talk, “Alright, bitch. You’re going to cross this whole section of rock, and then you can rest on the other side.” And you know what? I crossed that whole damn section! Woohoo! As I wobbled my way across the last few feet my brother said, "See? You did it. I just had a talk with Emery about you not giving up so you better not let me down. Don't stop, keep going." By this point my upper body was basically horizontal and I was dragging in ragged breathe after ragged breath. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. I took another break, and looked up to see that Emery was already a good switchback length ahead of me. "Stop looking up," my brother said. I stuck out my tongue. "I can't help it." I managed to say between breaths. I slowly shuffled forward, pausing to lean on the poles for a moment. When I looked up again all I could see was grass which made me think that the hard part was over. I stood there thinking, “C’mon. The rough part is over. There is no way you’re going to let pocket Mexican outdo you on this.” Oh, how naive I was. My sister-in-law waited for me while my brother bounded ahead of us to catch up with Emery. I swear he's like a goddamn billy goat with the way he was balancing, and leaping across several sections. I flipped him off before grabbing a hold of the poles, and swallowing the last bit of ClifBar that I had. I steadied myself and slowly made my way over to Kim. She let me get ahead, and as I rounded one more section I looked up. “What. The. Fuck.” 

That’s right ladies and gentlemen the last mile to the summit was not only steep, but also made up of mostly huge sections of rock. And that right there is when I called it. “Nope! Pocket Mexican can have this,” I thought to myself. My head hurt, and my legs were jelly. I felt swollen all over, and nauseated with every movement I made. “Dude. That’s it. I’m done,” I told Kim. And as I sat there overlooking the valley, and the trail we had just come through I was finally able to take it all in. We saw some huge chipmunks, and marmots rolling around. I could see the clouds rolling towards us, and tiny specs that were other hikers making their way up. I took deep breaths and thought about how proud I was of how far we got. Emery got even farther which I'll write about that later -- proud mom over here! I knew I had pushed myself passed my limits. And I know that we only had about a mile left but by body was protesting with every little twitch. Kim signaled to my brother and let him know that I had called it. So, he and Emery headed back down to where we were at. He gave me a hug, and told me he was proud of me for getting that far. "You gave it everything you had. This is all that I wanted. For you to push yourself. And look at how much farther you got than when you originally said you were done." He pointed at a few specs coming up below us to show me where we were when I had last told him I wanted to cry, and head back down the mountain because of the pain I was feeling. And he was right. I was totally okay with the reality of me not making it to the top, and so proud of how far I did get. Since the forecast had called for thunderstorms we pulled our raincoats on, and switched packs with my brother. He took off to go meet up with my dad, and we sat there for a moment longer enjoying the view before we started our way back down.

And man was coming down 10x easier than going up! We did end up getting some rain and hail once we passed Williams Lake. Talk about an experience. My brother and dad ended up catching up with us about a mile before we got to the van. We all piled back into the vehicle, and as tired as we were we all still laughed about some of the more intense moments we had had. "You were acting like you were trapped in the dead zone on Mount Everest," my brother joked. He and my dad then laughed about how fast we made it back down. Like there was a fire lit under our asses. As we all scrambled to grab chips, and water my dad informed us that he had made it to the summit about an hour before we turned back down. Show off. Ha! I'm totally kidding. I was super proud of him for that! How many guys in their fifties can say that without even training, or having previous hiking experience that they were able to summit the highest peak in New Mexico? My dad is a total badass! He also told us that those two older ladies had made it up about an hour after he did. Yup, they totally spanked us. Now, once we made it back to the hotel I made the mistake of not following instructions. I had about 28 oz. of water total, and took a lukewarm shower. Then while everyone else headed out for food I fell asleep which is apparently a no-no. This caused my elevation sickness to get a lot worse, and when I woke up my head felt like it was going to explode. I felt like I was going to throw up every time I moved, and my feet were shaking. When my brother came in to check on me he found me hugging the toilet, and I was forced to go outside. I had to drink a lot of water, and Kim gave me some Emergen-C. Then we walked around for about forty five minutes before I started to feel better. Thankfully by the next morning I was back to feeling 100%, and I was ready for the next part of our trip: Getting to explore Taos, New Mexico.

Wheeler Peak - New Mexico Part I

On August 16th my family and I piled into a 15 passenger van, and headed off to New Mexico for a last minute mini vacation before the little had to start school. The plan was to spend Thursday driving, Friday hiking/summit Wheeler Peak, and Saturday exploring. We’d head back home on Sunday and have one day to recuperate before going back to work on Tuesday. We had talked previously about the route we’d take to hike our way up the mountain, and when I looked up the mileage I wasn’t that concerned. You see, when you think 12 miles round trip it doesn’t seem that bad. Do the math: that’s six miles up, and six miles back down. People RUN 26.2 miles for fun. So, walking roughly the distance of a half marathon doesn’t seem so bad. And I had been previously told, ahem, that my short stature would benefit me as well. “Makes it easier”, they said. But what really sealed the deal was when I was told that one of my brother’s friends had made it to the summit the last time they had visited. So, I was like, “Pffft, if pocket Mexican (nickname for that friend) could do it, so can I.” Well, when we finally arrived in Taos we had a perfect view of the mountains, and my brother pointed at one while saying, “Hey Raquel, you see that one? That’s the one we’re going to hike.” Y’all, my eyes felt like they were going to bug out. I’m not going to lie I started to get nervous, and I believe my exact words were, “Oh. Shit.” We checked into the hotel, drove around the town a bit to get familiar with it, and then grabbed dinner before heading back to turn in early. The entire time Wheeler Peak was in view just trying to intimidate me. The next morning we were up at 6 am, grabbed a light breakfast, and headed out.

Looking back, I should have known that this was going to be the toughest thing I would put myself through to date. When my ears started to pop and we hadn’t even made it to the trail entrance I should have seen it as the red flag that it was. As we made our way through the winding road the temperature started to drop, and I felt like a bundle of nerves and excitement. Also, fear. Not even gunna lie. I was telling myself that this was going to be a great adventure, and I couldn’t wait to get to the top. Once we made it as far as we could by car we all climbed out of the vehicle, attempted one last potty break, and double checked to make sure we had everything in our backpacks. And y’all I just want to take a moment to say that I totally thought I was a “hiker” before that day. How cute, right? When someone asks me what my hobbies are I’m like “Oh, I like to run, read books, watch movies, and go hiking.” HA! Hiking my ass. I didn’t even know what REAL hiking was until after that day, y'all. I threw on my sweater, made sure Emery’s shoes were double knotted, and sent one last text to my mom about us making it to the park. “Are y’all ready?” Carlos asked. And with that, we set off.  

There was a lot under construction in this area when we got there. About ¼ of a mile passed the trail signs we finally arrived at the trail entrance. We took a few pictures, and I noticed that my breathing was already a bit off. Nothing horrible, as it felt similar to when I jog, but it was noticeable to me because well...we weren’t jogging. By the time we reached a mile my brother had to give me his trekking poles. I didn’t think it would make a huge difference, but they totally did. So, if you're a first timer I definitely recommend that you snag a pair because they make a world of difference. As we made our way up the trail we talked about the most random stuff, and joked around. We were subjected to some off key singing compliments of my brother, and sister-in-law. Yes, we're that loud group of Mexicans. And as we were getting closer to the two mile mark we started to run into several other hikers who were already on their way down. I couldn't believe that some of these guys had already made it to the summit and it was only 8 am! The temperature was about 48 degrees at this point, and we could see the transpiration (I think that's what it's called) coming off of the trees. And that alone was something pretty cool to witness. But the views were really something else too. Every once in awhile I would take a deep breathe, and look around while trying to commit it all to memory. And also to try and catch my breathe. Still, even the most beautiful of views wasn't going to keep me from complaining once my breathing got harder. Sorry, y'all. I followed along while mumbling under my breath, "Uggh. I can already tell this is going to be rough, why did I let y'all talk me into this?" And to make it worse, at the time, my brother would holler out "HEY! Y'all know what's just up ahead?" We'd answer with, "NO, what?" or "Is it the lake?" And he'd let out this big laugh before responding with, "No. A great place to take a picture!" And this is about the time I told him where I was going to shove his trekking poles if he didn't cut it out. 

We finally made it to Williams Lake (2 miles) after a few small curves, and my breathing was definitely more labored. I felt like I had been running those two miles at a little over my normal pace. Again, we were just walking. But y'all, when the lake finally came into view I held my breath for a moment. It was a spectacular view. You almost didn't want to keep walking forward because it would disturb it's perfection. The lake was on the low side, but we had a clear view of the surrounding mountains. The dew was glistening off of every surface, and the warmth of the sunshine felt amazing. I grabbed some water, and checked to see how Emery was doing. We adjusted our packs, and since Carlos told us it would probably get hotter we decided take our sweaters off. As we took in the scenery one last time I realized that this was almost at the halfway point. so I got a little overconfident. Word to the wise: don’t get overconfident as it will just bite you in the ass later. We took a few more pictures, and then with one final "are y'all ready" from my brother we began heading up the actual mountain.

Spring Break 2017

I took a week of vacation while the little was out for Spring Break last week. A lot of it was spent at home. Cleaning, cooking, and just enjoying the fact that we didn't have to be anywhere. No school or homework. No customers or emails. It was much needed. But we did have plans for this passed weekend which involved a lot of driving. Still a lot of fun though.

On Friday we made the trip to Dallas to Medieval Times. I originally thought this was a bit pricey, but they usually have several promos you can take advantage of in order to lower the cost a bit. It was a fantastic show, and the food was delicious. Be prepared to eat everything with your hands though. The theatrical part of it was also really great, and you get a pretty cool view of everything no matter where you are sitting. Emery enjoyed herself so much, and told us that the best part was the jousting. Souvenirs also put a bit of a dent in your pocket (ex; a small light up sword was $24.) so we limited Emery to just one. Overall the experience was pretty awesome! 

On Saturday, we made the four hour drive down south to SeaWorld San Antonio. We just did the one day pass without the aquatic water park. They still had rides that we were able to go on, and surprisingly the lines weren't as bad as I had originally expected them to be. The shows/exhibits were really cool. We were able to catch the Killer Whales, Ocean Discovery, and Sea Lions at Play shows. It was very informative, and I can't explain how incredible it was to see such amazing creatures so up close. Emery was in awe of the killer whales, and just how big they were. We sat in the "splash zone" for that one, and Emery had a blast. We explored for a about six hours and I highly recommend taking sun screen (we forgot), a waterproof bag or phone case, towels, and water bottles that you can refill. Oh! And some comfortable shoes with maybe an extra pair of light clothes (shorts/t-shirts). We rode back to my cousin's place in wet clothes and that was not very comfortable. Other than that we had an amazing time! I definitely recommend it if you're in any of the areas that have one. 

The end of our trip came up on Sunday. We made the drive back home, and Emery was very excited about getting to go back to school so she could tell everyone about where she had gotten to go. Next time I think it would better for us to spread out the trips because I felt like I had spent forever behind the wheel of a car. This left me pretty tired on my return to work. Still, it was worth it just to see my little's eyes light up. To see how fascinated she was by the whales and dolphins as well as the knights and horses. We hardly ever get to do anything like this so it was all worth it.

Thoughts on Time Away

Back at the end of January, when I was doing all of my "discovery" and "baby steps", a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go on a road-trip. I'd help them drive, see a few sights along the way, and then catch a flight back. I'd be gone a total of 3 days, and catch a flight back early on the 4th day. At first, I jumped at the offer. What could be more fun  than getting out of town for a few days? But then I started to think. I started to question whether this was even doable. Most people thought it was a great idea, but others gave me that "look". Parents get it a lot. You know, the one where the person is trying to figure out if they heard you correctly? It's usually followed by registration of your words, and then swiftly turns into a disapproving face and/or sigh. They'd always follow up this look with, "What about your daughter? You can't just go off on a vacation without her." But that's not all. When they would ask who I'd be going with, and I'd answer with a male friend that I've known since I was 17, I'd quickly get a: "You shouldn't do that." or "Just stay home, get a hotel room here, and have a staycation." So, eventually, after a lot of thought I declined the offer.

I felt really guilty for even considering the trip in the first place. Leaving my little behind for a few days was definitely not something I had ever considered before. Why would I start now? I honestly don't see how some parents can do it without feeling some amount of guilt. Practice maybe? My mother was the most vocal about her not being on board with the idea. "I never went anywhere without you or your brother. You shouldn't go anywhere without mija." Mind you this is the same woman who thinks it's perfectly acceptable for Emery to go with her and my dad on vacation without me (a post on that later). Still, I started to talk about this subject with a few of my acquaintances & friends. I talked to some who are moms, and some that are not. One woman told me that she, and her husband took vacations once a year by themselves. The kids stayed at the grandparents home for the week, and they went on vacation alone. But they also took yearly family vacations as well. Another woman, who was recently divorced, told me that I should do something spontaneous for myself and this trip was just what I needed. Who cared what others thought? My daughter would be in good hands, and it would only be three days. When I asked a relative about their opinion on the subject her response started with, "Well, it doesn't make you a bad mom but..." And that right there is what I had been fearing: being a bad mom. 

I think the thought of being considered a bad mom was what hit me the hardest out of everything. I had already failed as a wife, and I didn't want to fail at being a mother too. I was already going through a really rough time. The idea of going on a road-trip was so tempting. I was at a point where I just wanted to get away for a few days. Away from the drama, the daily routine, the responsibilities, the women (compliments of a small town), and the answers people would seek that I couldn't bring myself to give. I was tired, and being pulled internally towards many directions. My mind felt like it was running on empty, and there was barely anything left of me. I just wanted a break. But that word alone, break, leaves a bad taste in my mouth sometimes. I kept asking myself, "Who could possibly need a three or four day break from their kid?" I felt so guilty, and selfish for even wanting time to myself. For even considering something that didn't include my daughter. If I was having a rough time, I could only imagine how she felt. So, if she wasn't going to be coming with me then I might as well forget ever going anywhere.

My counselor, on many occasions has told me that I'm not JUST a mother. I'm not JUST a wife. He's stressed that I need to find MYSELF again if I ever want to be happy. If I ever want to move forward. I'm supposed to do things that I like, and try to be open to experiencing new things. BUT how do we do that when we have kids? When we have responsibilities? Jobs, and everyday life? How do you find yourself if you never get time to spend alone with yourself? Then during the times that you do find a moment people judge you extremely hard over it. I get how traveling with a male friend would raise some eyebrows, I get that. But all of this made me wonder why this same pressure, and guilt isn't placed on fathers?  B.A. (before the affairs- that's what I'm calling it) my spouse went on a handful of solo trips/ weekends with the boys. No one questioned it. No one asked him why he wasn't taking his daughter along. No one expressed to him that three days away was three days too many. It's as if it was expected of him. It was acceptable for him to have that time because he needed it. But what about us moms? Why is guilt placed on us for thinking of, or actually committing to some time away? Why is it that we get the "looks", and our love for our children is called into question? Why is it that our identity from before, once we become mothers, is expected to take a back seat?

For now the guilt is too much for me. I can't bring myself  to be away from my daughter for long periods of time. It's possible that as she gets older my feelings on this will change. That doesn't mean that I don't sometimes wish for space, or daydream of time alone. I really envy those out there that can take some time away. I wish I were as brave as you. Maybe that statement on it's own makes me a bad mom, I'm not sure? What I do know is that I'm trying to get my moments. Whether it's the solo drive home from work down the back roads. The five minutes of silence before the rest of the house wakes up in the morning. The few minutes I get at the gym when I'm on the treadmill. Because my daughter knows not to come that far forward since it's against gym rules. I just know that I'm trying. I'm trying to find ME again. I'm trying to be comfortable with separation, as well as closeness. I'm trying to enjoy the moments, however tiny they may be, and appreciate them. I'm trying to find out what my limits and boundaries are in regards to spending time away.

Mexico

When I was little, up until I turned 18, my family and I would always find time to make a trip to Mexico to visit family. The majority of my father’s side lives in Ciudad Victoria, Tamaulipas and we’d make an attempt to visit every other year when possible. As I was growing up I absolutely loved it! I looked forward to spending that week with my grandparents, and all of my cousins. We would have huge family dinners, lots of family gatherings at different houses, and so much fun playing at the local cancha with all of the neighborhood kids. Man, I wish I could tell all of you the many stories I have from there. I don't think there was a single visit that didn't hold some kind of adventure for us. It held the newness of a different place, the familiarity of family, and the much needed getaway. Mexico definitely holds a special place in my heart.

So, a few weekends ago my dad said he wanted to take a trip to Mexico either this fall or next summer, and wanted to know if we wanted to go too! He’s currently saving money to renew his and my mom’s passports for this trip and hopes to have everything done by this fall if not sooner. He offered to pay for Emery’s passport and told us to let him know so we could start planning. Our first responses were “YES!” of course we’d love to go. All of us together, with our respective families, making the trip to go see family in Mexico for the first time in years sounded like the most amazing thing in the world. I could only hope to be so blessed! The thought of my grandparents finally getting to meet my husband and daughter in person did so many things to my heart. And I was already thinking of the many things we’d be able to show them. How much better could it possibly get, right?? But then reality set in and even though my brother is still pretty set on going, whenever the time comes, I’m a bit undecided.

As many people already know things in certain parts of Mexico aren't great. The past few years have been tainted with massacres, bombings, and kidnappings. Mexican’s who had American relatives were threatened on a daily basis (we experienced this first hand). And many of the cities were put on lock-downs or curfews. My grandparents city included. Since then, it’s gotten a lot better, but there’s no doubt that the threat is there. Now, I haven’t really read up on whether American’s are still being targeted or if the violence is just being played out between cartels.We know a lot of people that have safely gone and come back regularly. But like many of you my husband has also read the horror stories about the violence going on. So when I suggested the trip he immediately shut it down. He said something along the lines of “No way are we risking our safety for a visit. We have a daughter to think about!”

He’s pretty set on this answer. I’m sure he thinks I’m insane for even attempting to talk him into it. And I've tried to remove my feelings from this and think about it in a realistic way. What are the chances of something happening to us while we’re down there? Is he just being a “negative Nancy” and thinking of only the bad? Maybe he’s just being overprotective? But as much as it pains me to admit it I constantly wonder if he’s right? I love my family in Mexico and I would love for them all to meet my family. I think Emery would have a blast, and I truly miss it. I want to go back. But right now, I’m wondering if this is the best idea? Should I take a chance and risk it? I know that we aren't supposed to live our lives in fear because then we’d never experience life. But where do I draw the line?

About Today: January 28th

Today, it was humid and a bit cloudy. 70 in Texas in January? 

I heard from my soul-mate. 

I found out that I needed to catch up in one of my classes after being sick. 

I decided that I need to save up for a vacation. 

I reflected on my weekend, filled with wonderful family. Post to come. 

I came to the conclusion that global warming is in fact, in effect.
I went an entire day just eating fruits and veggies.
I finally sorted out some personal issues.

And I missed California. Very much. 

Back To Reality

I got my vacation. The only crappy part was having to come back. We weren’t really there to go check out neat places, so you won’t see any pictures of museums or an amusement park. We went to go see our family. To get away from Texas, and visit my husband’s hometown (my home away from home). I’m so thankful that we got the chance to see everyone, and I’m so heartbroken that we couldn’t stay longer forever.

To me, this place holds a special place in my heart. It was a major contributor in my growing up. In becoming independent and responsible (somewhat). And as much as I love Texas, I’ve always felt like one day, I’d go back and make my home there. And visiting only reassured that feeling. It felt so familiar and natural. And while we were there, I did miss my home and my family. But by home, I just mean our things. Our bed, our cars, and our things. I kept trying to imagine what it would be like if when we moved back. How much I’d miss my mom and dad. My brother, and my “sisters”. But, at the same time, I felt like I was at home. Not the place where I grew up, but the place where we were meant to start our lives. Separate from everyone else.

But, we aren’t rushing anything. We aren’t packing up and moving back, even though sometimes I wish we could. My husband and I agreed that I would finish school, we’d pay off our debt here, and build up our savings. In a year or two (maybe three), we’ll see where we’re at, and re-evaluate our situation. We both feel like this is the best way to go about this. So now, I’m just focused on school (which starts tomorrow).