Good, LORD.
You know…the minute I feel like I have a sense of direction in my life. Something comes straight out of NOWHERE and really messes with me. I hate it.
As you read in my last post, I am all “Ready, Set, Go!” on college (or a certification program) depending on which would be cheaper and quicker. I emailed an advisor director and he asked me to either go up to the school or email the admissions office and talk to an admissions advisor about my particular situation. That is my next step.
So last night, after we (Emery, my mother, and I) get home from the Aglow meeting, I find my husband beaming. He’s on the phone with a friend of ours back in California, and I can tell he’s been making plans. He also looks like he hit MY bottle of Jager. Sure enough, after he gets off the phone with our friend he starts spitting up word vomit. I had to make him pause, breathe, and speak slower. And this is what I got:
“Scott said that he has work and it’s starting to pick up and get steady again! He said that in a few months he could probably hire me back if I want the job. And Price said that he’ll talk to him and maybe see if he can get me back on sooner! Then Price and I will find ourselves an apartment and after a month we’ll send for you and EMERY! Having a roommate is going to help us out so much with bills. Isn’t that great? Getting to be back in California? It’s gunna be great!!”
Pause…
Longer pause….
Oh man. What the crap?!? YOU CAN NOT DO THAT!! We are a FAMILY. That means you talk to ME before making life-changing decisions, damn it!! You do NOT make plans without consulting with me first. Ugh! Why do men not get that? Why must they jump head first without looking, ALL of the time? I mean, really?! Needless to say, I rained on his parade. When he saw the look on my face he asked:
“What? What’s wrong? Why aren’t you excited?”
Oh…my…GOD! Excited? Why the HELL would I be excited?!? Oooh, That totally sent me off the edge, inside. I was completely calm on the outside though. I smiled and politely said:
“Babe, we’ll discuss this later, ok?”
Later came, and by that point, I had all the reasons as to why this wasn’t the best idea right now all organized in my head. My husband was completely in “pouty- baby” mode. He tried coming up with answers to every point that I was making. But in the end, he realized that maybe I really did have a point. I wasn’t just trying to flat out say no.
- We agreed that I’d go back to school so that I could get a better job with more money. Something that I can fall back on, so WE can have a better life. I need to be able to do that before we do anything or go anywhere.
- We have no working car at the moment, and it’ll be a while before we get the one we do have fixed and running (IF they can even fix it). We need a vehicle if we’re going to go anywhere.
- You still have no license, and you have to prove residency in a DIFFERENT STATE before they will cancel yours in California so you can get one in Texas. If you do not cancel it, you will have to do 3 months worth of classes in California, $100 apiece, before you can get a license there again.
- We still have a lot of money that we owe for tickets, lawyers, and bills here in Texas that we need to take care of before up and leaving.
- We have to have money to move. Our furniture, clothes, and pets will not go by themselves. U-hauls cost money. Gas costs money.
- We’ve done the roommate thing several times. And yes, it helps to NOT have to pay bills on your own, but we have a child now. There cannot be any partying, or drugs at our home. We have to be responsible. And as much as I love our friend, he likes to party. And with it being his house as well, he’ll probably find it very unfair that he can’t continue to hold parties at a place that he is helping pay for.
- Daycare is EXPENSIVE over there. WE have to plan on that because we don’t have anyone (that we know and trust) that will take care of her for $60 a week.
- We need to look at the economy. We need to look at the jobs. We can’t just go because we want to we have to have a plan. We have to have money and a stable place to live.
I miss Cali just as much as he does. I miss the ocean, and I miss the friends I made there. I miss the palm trees, and I miss being on our own. Kim says I miss the “idea” of California but that’s not really it. I miss that place because we had family there, and we had friends. We know our way around. But in all honesty, any place close to the Ocean would do.
This is a huge decision. We can’t go into this like before, with no money and just living paycheck to paycheck. When it was just Beau and me, well, we could live with Ramen Noodles, and the water or electricity getting turned off for a few days (not that it ever happened). But now, we have to PLAN and we have to save money. We have to think of this RESPONSIBLY, because it’s not just us two anymore. It’s us three. And I will not make a move, that far away, with no place to live and no job (for the both of us). It’s completely out of the question.
So now I need to figure out if this move is serious? If it is, do I need to go to school there? Do we wait and let me start and finish here? Do we even move? With the economy the way it is, would it be a smart move? How would our lives change if we did? Would it be healthy for Emery? Would it be better for all of us?
And a NEW plan begins….?
