I love, love, LOVE my daughter. No doubt about it, she is my world. At the same time, she is a handful. She is a full time job and at this stage, demanding my full attention. I would love to have another child, LATER in the future (maybe two or three years from now).
BUT NOT RIGHT NOW!!!
I've been so busy lately, that last night while I was setting up my new iPhone, I actually had a few minutes to myself. I had put Emery down to bed, my phone was syncing, and I sat there in my PJ's taking deep breaths. Processing the day I just had. **TINK** My iPhone is done and as I start playing with it, my MENSTRUAL app is on my first screen. Hmm? When was my last period? So I go and check it, and sure enough, last month on the twelfth. And my "prediction" date for this month was LAST THURSDAY!! That means I am SEVEN days LATE!! Now I know what you're thinking, it's just a silly phone app right? Maybe. You see, this app has been fairly accurate for me AND I usually start the day BEFORE the prediction date. That’s how I was always prepared and stocked on pads and tampons every month.
Oh….my….HOLY CRAP!!!!! No. No. No. No. NO! I can NOT be pregnant!! I am barely getting back to my work out routine, BARELY loosing the belly weight. I am just now managing to juggle life as a working mother. We are just now getting all of our debt cleared away. I still OWE my doctor for delivering EMERY. This is sooo not funny! Beau and I can’t even make up our minds as to whether we even WANT another child or not, much less be prepared to have another one! I am so praying that I start right this second! I demand it!!
Please??
Breathe in. Breathe out. Ok, I'm trying to chalk this all up to stress. Because STRESS has been a BIG part of my life these past few weeks. That and frustration. Work has been a hell hole, and I've been trying to catch up on a lot of things. So maybe that's why I'm late?! Please, please let that be the reason!?! I haven't felt sick, or tired. No swelling. No puking. I haven't really noticed ANY of the signs like I did with Emery, accept the lack of my period. Oh god, we are so not ready for another baby yet! Please let it be a false alarm. I promise to double up on birth control and even make him wear a condom from now on! But please, please don’t let me be pregnant!!!
Damn it! Now I have to go pee on a stick!!
Update @ 5:30pm
The pee test came back negative. A bit relieved, and yet a little sad at the same time. :-)
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