A Privacy Issue

I got onto Facebook, originally because my friend Melissa had moved off to go to college and it was an easy way for us to keep in contact. Then, I started using it more. A lot more. I posted a lot of pictures and updates throughout my pregnancy as well. A lot of it was hardly ever kept as private though. I also have two blogs (this one and another), that I have kept up with for awhile. I wanted to be able to share with family about what was currently going on in our lives. From jobs, to milestones. But then I started reading a lot about people who go in and take pictures from other people’s site and pass them off as their own. How child pornography can be made by photo-shopping a photo that was stolen from someone’s blog. And the list of crappy things can go on and on. Needless to say, this did not settle very well with me at all.

After our daughter came along, she became the most important thing in our lives. Protecting her is a number one priority. Now, I really love the blogging world, and I didn’t want to give up keeping in touch with friends over pictures so, I switched up all of my settings. On Facebook I only keep a limited number of Emery’s pictures up, and they are all set to private. Reserved for close friends and family. No one can tag themselves in my pictures without my approval first. On my blogs, I hardly ever post pictures of my daughter’s face. I disabled right click, disabled search engine, do not advertise (now you know why I don’t have many followers), and I’ve also watermarked all of my photographs. I knew it wasn’t a sure thing that someone couldn’t get around all of that, but I was making it that much more difficult for them if they could. And up until Sunday, I hardly ever show video of her on any social networking site despite having them loaded on Vimeo for when I want to share them by email to family.

Emery and my husband where “singing” duets in our bedroom on Sunday, and they were getting down. I uploaded the video, and after talking to my husband I posted one video (of the three that I had taken), onto Facebook. I limited the audience to JUST family and close friends because they are the only ones I feel needed to see it. Now, on all of my albums I always post for people to please not tag any of my pictures that they’re not in themselves. And to please not share the pictures without my consent first. Especially those of our daughter. I don’t know what everyone else’s privacy settings are, and I’m not trying to control their Facebook’s, BUT I am asking they respect our privacy wishes when it comes to our daughter. It’s already happened once where some creepy old man (a friend of a friend) tagged himself in the pictures I had up of Emery. The whole thing was sketchy, and now I’m really trying to avoid this happening again. After making a big deal about it, and announcing on Facebook my wishes I assumed that everyone KNEW how I feel about this certain issue. So, when I posted the video I did not post the heading of it as “DO NOT SHARE” because again, I assumed there was an understanding. Today, I have come to regret that decision.

Someone went and shared the video. Not only that but she went onto my Vimeo page and shared another video without even asking me first. I understand that some of our family and friends get excited, and they love to see the new pictures that I post. And that’s exactly why I share those memories with them. But, I always expect them to respect our decisions. This isn’t the only time this person has done this either. It’s actually one of a few reasons (her tagging and sharing all of my pictures), why I had deleted her off my friends list in the past. Now, I can’t keep everyone from posting pictures of Em. In fact this person has pictures that SHE has taken with her own camera of my daughter that she has posted. So do several other friends and relatives. I don’t say anything to them about the pictures because those are pictures they have taken. I have asked some of them to please make them private from the public if possible but I have never asked any to take them down or not take pictures of her anymore. I understand that I can’t do that. It’s not my place. But when it comes to my things, I have every right. So today I wrote an email asking this person to please take down the video’s. I stated my reasons privately, and I’m hoping she doesn’t turn this into some huge drama filled problem. Which trust me, it is a possibility. :(

I hate that this may seem very extreme to some people. Some might even question why I even still blog if I don’t want to share video or pictures with the world? But the fact is that I do love blogging. I love keeping in touch with our family and friends. I’ve been able to visit with family in Mexico that I haven’t seen in years, thanks to Facebook. And this is the ONLY reason why I keep one. My blog, is my blog. I don’t just write about my daughter I write about me. My feelings. I share only the parts I feel are necessary. There is a whole world behind this screen that many of you will never know about, or even get to see. I will always be open and honest, I just won’t spill every detail of my life on here. And that’s because I feel it’s best that way. I extend that courtesy to every other fellow blogger too. I don’t go around sharing or taking pictures from other blogs without giving credit or asking first. And I never use anyone else’s personal pictures of themselves or their family. That’s just how I roll. And I’m sure many of you are the same. I wish the world weren’t a nasty place. I wish I could post, upload, and write about everything in my life without fear of it being stolen, taken out of context, or used for someone else’s filthy habit. But the world isn’t like that. And I’d rather be safe than sorry.