Really Angry..

I had another post ready for today that will have to wait. I’m letting you know right now, that this is not a very fun post. In fact, it’s angry. Really really angry.

I may be late on watching this, but it really ruined my day. Then I saw these, and it completely sent me over the edge. Maybe it’s because he killed children, babies? Some as young as my daughter. Maybe that’s why it made me so mad? Or maybe it’s because they were innocent. They were sleeping, and this man thought it was okay to take their lives like it was his decision to make. And do you know what the worst part is? It happens EVERY DAMN DAY. Not all exactly like this and not just in Afghanistan, but all over the world. America, China, Spain, Australia, Canada, Finland, Mexico, and Brazil. Men, women, and children of all ages and nationalities.

click picture for source

click picture for source

I don’t get people. I don’t get humans. I don’t get why there is so much EVIL in this world? Why do people do the things that they do? I understand that some of us mess up, or that we make mistakes. But to be so sick, twisted, and filled with hate that it brings you to hurt others? I don’t get that. I do get revenge though. There are some people in my life, that if hurt or taken from this world by someone else, I’d kill for. No doubt about it, and without hesitation. But there would have to be a cause. Some really bad shit, caused by someone else who thought it was okay to hurt someone I loved, for me to even go there. I’m not saying that this would make it right, or acceptable because even that reason isn’t good enough to take someone else’s life. I do understand it though. But this man, like thousands of others, wasn’t hurting people for revenge. He was doing it, just because. Because to him, and others, this was okay.

There is so much wrong with this world. From abortion to child abuse. From rape to sex trafficking. From cancer to life ending deformities. From kidnaping to hate crimes. From bullying to suicides. Terrorism, racism, and murder. So much bad shit. It, in turn, fills me up with hate. Hate for mankind. Hate for people that are so fucked up in the head, that they think that what they are doing is okay. Hate for justice hardly ever being served. Hate for people that think its okay to play God. Hate for greedy people. Hate for people who care about nothing but themselves. And I really hate feeling like that. I hate having so much hate inside of me.

But I gave up on peace long ago. I believe that so long as human’s exist, there will never be peace. And the day that it seems like there is, will probably be the day the world begins to end. Wars will always happen, and bad shit will always be around. Politicians will always lie. Money will always rule the world. There will never be enough funding to find cures. There will always be people who care only about themselves. Terrorism, whether its being done to us or we’re the ones terrorizing, will always exist. Hate will always exist. Men, women, and children all over the world will never truly be safe. Just because some of our lives go without being effected, doesn’t mean that someone else’s won’t. Life will never be fair. Bad shit will always happen.

I don’t know why. I wish I knew what the “bigger picture” was. I really do. Maybe then, all the bad shit would be tolerable. Not acceptable, just tolerable. Enough to know that there was a reason. A light at the end of the tunnel? I know I have to breathe. I know that this is completely out of my control. And I think that is what really upsets me the most. There is nothing I can do. I can’t give a mother her child back. I can’t stop a child from being beat. I can’t stop a man from taking advantage of a girl. I can’t stop a parent from killing their child. I can’t stop any of it.  And that is such a horrible, helpless feeling. It really brings me down. It causes me to lose so much faith in people. 

I hate being negative. 

But I can't pretend anymore. 

I can't keep going through life in my own little bubble.