Big Fits

So my weekend was pretty busy. I never blog on the weekends because I consider that "family/laundry/cleaning" time. Pretty much to catch up on EVERYTHING that was left undone from the week before as well as time to spend with my babes and the hubs. Saturday, I got a lot done!! I painted the baseboards for Emery's room. I FINISHED all the laundry. I semi-cleaned up the living room/dining room to get it ready for this upcoming weekend. AND all of this got done while handling a  sick one-year-old. {bowing} Thank you, thank you, thank you! 

She was doing better on Thursday, then Friday she was running a fever again. Then Saturday she was feeling pretty crappy and EXTREMELY clingy. I say this because she is ALWAYS clingy. To me only. She refuses to stay with anyone else and she'll throw a fit if I sit her down. I know she was sick, and I may go down as the world's worst mother but Saturday night I tried that whole "walk away for ten minutes and let them cry" to see if she would eventually just stop or maybe start playing with her toys? Everyone says she needs to learn to "self-soothe", but I'm afraid we missed that boat. She cried the  ENTIRE 15 minutes, and only paused once for a breath. She looked so hurt and my husband finally gave in and picked her up. I'm at a loss people. Once he picked her up, she continued to cry until I was holding her. Even then she still sobbed. It was an awful feeling!

Now, I love my baby girl. She is my world. I can't stress that enough, but I really need her to be comfortable with my husband as much as she is with me. I CAN'T carry her everywhere. I CAN'T always be there. I wish I could, but I can't. If I did, I'd never get anything done! So, what do I do? I read somewhere that babies sometimes have "trust issues" or "abandonment issues" after they've been around one person for so long and then all of a sudden they aren't there anymore. It would explain her behavior somewhat- My husband was a stay at home dad up until last month. So he cared for her and then all of a sudden it was back to the sitters. So maybe that's her problem? I love that she loves me and knows I'm her mommy, but it's getting to be a bit difficult for everyone else. The sitter, bless her heart, says that she cries for a good 20 minutes after my mom has dropped her off. My mother says that she cries for a little while after I leave. And I have no idea why? This has been a recent (past two months) development too. I don't know what changed? This is starting to get straining because all she does is CRY. I step out of the room, she cries. I put her down, she cries. I sit down, she cries. Then, it makes my husband feel bad. He feels like she doesn't like him or like she doesn't even see him as her daddy anymore. I keep reassuring him that she does know who he is and that she's just trying to adjust. But it's already been a month and a half since he's been working. Wouldn't she have been adjusted by now? 

I don't know how to fix this....?

p/s I'm afraid I caught The Crud Bug from my babes.

My neck, back, legs, and feet are in PAIN.

My throat is on fire, and it hurts to swallow. 

I ran a fever last night and today, I've got the chills.

185lbs

Ok, so I really need to lose this weight. I am at 185lbs again. I’ve had a rough couple of weeks and with Emery’s birthday stuff going on I really slacked off. I stopped using my calorie counter because I hardly ever had my phone on me –just ask the people who called and never got an answer. So with us being out and about a lot, I did a lot of eating out. So now I’m right back where I started. Eeehhh!!  

I really need to get my shit together. I need to get all of our crap taken care of so I’m not having to run around doing errands or having to spend hours on the phone with this company or that one. I’m so ready for this to be OVER! I’m ready for my healthy lifestyle to get a chance to kick in, people!! And this is when I realized; I’m so making up excuses, aren’t I? I need to want this, even more than what I do now. I need to want to lose weight the way I want a Hershey’s chocolate (which is bad).  Yes, my lifestyle is hectic, so that means my lazy ass has to get up at 4 am (uuugggghhh!!) if need be, to get my work out in. I need to start looking more into nutrition and what I’m feeding my body. Then, I read this lovely lady Jess’s Blog IROCKSOWHAT, and she totally put me to shame. In a good way, if that’s possible?

She pretty much said it all. Stop eating CRAP! Cook your meals! Eat meat, fruits, and veggies. But never anything YOU can’t cook for yourself. Clean eating! What an idea!! Too bad, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS!?!?! But, I like the sound of it! I’m not quite sure where to begin though. I NEVER cook. I have been taking my sweet ass time in learning too. I’ve always been a bit of a picky eater and I’m in no way experimental when it comes to “exotic” tastes. And if it looks like something that a pig would love to roll around in, I’m NOT touching it!! If it looks like it could bite me back, I’m not eating it!! So, hopefully, this clean eating idea has nothing to do with either of those things. I really want to try this out though. I really want to start preparing meals and cooking. Shopping strictly organic produce, and low-calorie snacks (for the hubs). I’m in need of getting back into shape because I really hate being a blob. Every part of me JIGGLES! That's just not right! And even though Em may find it funny when my belly squishes, mommy doesn't! 

I hate that I can’t do much without getting tired and breathless. I want to get back into those damn skinny jeans!! I want to be able to maintain my weight. I want to feel healthy. But mainly, I want to raise my daughter into a healthy lifestyle. And I can’t do that by eating burgers and french fries, now can I?

Jumpin on the Cloth Diaper Bandwagon!!

As I've stated before, I don't have a lot of friends with kids. The ones that do have kids, aren't here in Texas. So needless to say I have no way of getting advice. When I was pregnant I had looked at sites and read up on many "cloth diaper debates". But after everything, I decided to just go with disposables. -shame on me, I know- It has now been a year and I have seen A LOT of my money go into the trash bin, it's almost depressing. So recently I started looking at some of your blogs and a lot of you seem to be big advocates for cloth diapers! I seem to get more information from reading your blogs than trying to find someone around here that does it, so thank you! Anyway, after reading all of your raves about this way of "diapering"? I've decided that I want to try it out! I know, I'm a little late to jump on the bandwagon, but hey at least I'm trying right? I have always tried to "save the planet" and to be more "eco-friendly" with the stuff I buy(I swear I'm trying to get this recycling thing down). So why don't I try to help out by using less disposable diapers too?? -light bulb-

Which brings me to research. I've been looking at different sites and brands. There are SOO many different kinds!! How am I suppose to choose which one to try?!?! I don't know much about switching over, or how to even begin!! I need a kind that would be easy for our sitter to use as well as something simple (as simple as cloth diapering can get- I know there is some work that goes into them). Also, I'm worried about leaks. My little monster pees a lot. She leaks even in the disposable diapers, so I'm not too worried about that. I just don't want to wake up and find her swimming in her own urine in the middle of the night, you know? So absorbency is a big deal to me. There are a lot of different brands that promise different things, and I just don't know which direction to go in. So, do any of you use cloth diapers? And if you do, which brand do you recommend? Because I'm wanting some advice. Not reviews on a website, or propaganda/advertisement. I want some straight up advice.

Any would be greatly appreciated.