An Oops & A Little Chat

Recently, I was offered some products to review. I was also gifted a 3 month subscription to another product, and thought I should share my thoughts on both. So, the other day I took some pictures, and even a little video. I had all of these ready to upload, but then I decided I was going to clear out some of my phone storage because I'm anal and need everything organized in their own little folders. I started by removing duplicates, and then transferring several pictures onto my laptop. Only, when I went to move the product stuff over they were deleted rather than saved. Since these were being taken from my iPhone rather than my hard drive there was no way to restore them. So now I have to go and retake a bunch of pictures. Bleh. Until I get that up and going here are a few little updates for you guys. 

At the end of  May I became an aunt! It's a boy, and he is beautiful. Though I'm sure when he's grown up a bit he'll be all embarrassed that I called him beautiful. But you guys...he's so precious! And do you know what's even more precious? Seeing my baby brother holding his son. Carlos has always been a wonderful person. Sure he's as stubborn as an ass some times but he's also helpful, generous, and kind. My brother has always been the type of person who will do things for others without expecting anything in return. And that love that he has for his wife, y'all. It's unwavering, and unconditional. I don't think I've ever seen two people who work so well together, and put in the effort to keep a good relationship/marriage. I'm not saying they're perfect, or that they never have issues because that's unrealistic. What I'm saying is that they put in the work. You can tell when they bend for each other. When they compromise for each other. How they support each other. How they're a unit. It's truly, amazing to see them together, and I'm super proud of both of them. All of that said, I just know that they are going to be great parents! They are going to raise such a wonderful little man, and I'm just super stoked that I get to be his aunt. Unfortunately it's still a "no go" on pictures. Sorry guys, I tried. But I'm under strict orders. So, all I've got for you today is this one picture of a very sleep deprived brother looking down at his little bundle of joy. 

Moving along. A few days ago I saw a post online about a mother who dyed her daughter's (about 4-5 years old) hair. The little girl had light blonde hair, and the mom put in some semi permanent pink color to tint it. Now, I was all "Damn that looks cute." But then I started to read the comments, and there were a lot of people saying some really rude things. It ranged from this mom being a terrible mother, to the little girl not being old enough to do what she wants with her hair, and then it went all the way to someone asking for a Child Protective Service number in order to report her. Now, I'm not a cosmetologist so I can't really weigh in on the "harmful" stance of this topic. But I do have a young daughter that's always asking me if she can have some random color added to her hair. Unfortunately, my little one has dark hair so it's always been a no from me. This is because we'd have to bleach it, and I'd rather not. If she had lighter hair, I'd probably let her do the semi-permanent color that washes out without even thinking twice about it. That's just me though. Then there was someone who commented about not allowing their daughter to make any decisions in regards to her hair until she was 11 or 12 years old. Because "Kids shouldn't always get what they want."  I thought that was a bit extreme, but to each his own I guess. My daughter has always had long hair, and I absolutely love it. She's wanted blue hair, pink hair, and purple hair that I wish I could allow her to have. But for the most part I've always allowed her to decide the length, and style of her hair. So what was the whole point of this little chat you ask? Well...I let my daughter do a thing...

(fyi--her hair was passed her bum before)

That's all for now folks. These past few weeks have been busy. It was hard to keep any kind of real schedule. Thankfully, after this Saturday everything should be back to a normal routine. Fingers crossed anyway. 

Wordless Wednesday

We're in Some Weird Limbo

If I could tell you were the hell we stand as a family, as a couple, or as co-parents I would totally tell y'all. If I knew anything in regards to a court date, a rehab date, or even counselling sessions I would tell y'all that too. Unfortunately, we've hit a pause in any huge life changing decisions. Not because I want to, or because my husband wants to. More along the lines of some other important shit has come up first, and well we have to deal with that first. So for right now, we're in this weird, "in house" separation type of thing.

Two weeks after my husband left the house he was back. A lot of the people who claimed, or stated that they wanted to help ended up back tracking really quickly. Those that said they'd step in to get some help, or even offered to help find housing never even answered their phones when the time came. Which to be honest wasn't that surprising. But the one person who I really thought had changed things around, and was sincere in their offer ended up being a complete let down. So, in the end I was the one left holding the bag. After speaking with my family, talking to my daughter at length about what was going on, and finally speaking to my husband about what he was asking of me I decided to let him stay in our home. I know it's strange to some people, but so far we basically co-parent as best as we can. We've talked through a lot of this with our daughter, and that's as far as the clarity goes. 

During the time he was away, my daughter talked about how she missed her dad. On one particularly rough night I asked her what would make her feel better? Did she want to talk to him? Did she want to see him? Did she want to cry? Did she want to talk about what she was feeling? She thought for a moment, and then told me she just missed her dad being there where she could see him. So I had her FaceTime him, and afterwards she said she felt better. That was a hard night for me. It hurt my heart to see her so sad. That was a night when I questioned everything. Was I right in what I was doing? Was I making a selfish decision? Was I completely in the wrong? Should I have waited a bit longer? Should I change a bit more?  Did I really know what I was getting us into? 

The thing is that a lot of what happened couldn't be undone. A lot of what I found out, and a lot of what was going on under my roof without my knowing was not okay. It was all a risk I chose to take from the time before. And it was all something I knew could happen again. Or that could be much worse the second time around. So, when the veil was lifted I made a decision. One that I still think is best for us as a family. But one that is currently on pause. A limbo of sorts. Right now I'm choosing to be a supportive partner. I'm choosing to get along, and help my husband for the well being of our family. And I'm choosing to be understanding rather than dismissive. This is what's best for my family right now, and I'm not apologizing for it. For now this is what's going on, and as soon as it changes I'll let y'all know.