Some Alone Time

I rarely ever give myself any time to be alone. My days consist of work, taking care of Emery, gym time, school work, and chores. On the weekends I spend a lot of time catching up on anything I forgot to do during the week. And regardless of whatever it is that I'm doing, I am always surrounded by people. Whether it's my child, family, friends, or strangers in a fitness class I am never alone. However, this past weekend I was unexpectedly given a whole 24 hours to myself. You see, my husband and brother-in-law made a trip down south to visit one of his old friends who's down for work training. They left on Saturday morning. And then, out of nowhere Emery asks if she can spend the night at her grandparents house. After she asked my mom, who of course said said yes, I made the drive over. I asked her if she was sure, and what would I do while she was gone? She simply stated, "Mom, you're not alone. Here are my baby dolls. Pretend they're real and I'll be back tomorrow. It's not that long." She patted my cheek and said "Be a brave girl, Mommy." and so with that I dropped her off. 

You guys. I had no idea what to do with myself. Here I was with all of this free time, and I had no idea where to even begin. Do I go see a movie? Do I go grab a bottle (or two) of wine? Do I go hit the gym? Maybe take the dogs for a walk. Should I go out and have a nice quiet dinner somewhere? Were any of my friends in town? Should I go get some shopping done? I mean, the possibilities were endless. There was a lot of stuff that needed to be done around the house and I sat in my kitchen contemplating whether or not I should just get started on housework. If I did it right then I wouldn't have to worry about it the next day which would technically be the smart thing to do, right? Well, here's what all I didn't do: I didn't wash clothes. I didn't do the dishes. I didn't sweep or mop. I didn't clean the bathroom or vacuum the carpets. I didn't pick up Emery's room even though it desperately needs it. No, instead, I brought the dogs in and washed them off. I laid down blankets on the couch, and we all snuggled up for a "Switched at Birth" marathon (don't judge) followed by some awesomely cheesy romance movies on Netflix. 

And that my friends is how I spent my Saturday night. I finally went to bed around 3 am only to be back up at 7 am. Habits, am I right? Though I just lounged in bed for an hour and a half before finally deciding that I should get up, and at least attempt a normal routine. Otherwise I'd pay for it later. So, I ate cereal in bed, and read the rest of a book that I needed to finish. I napped for about thirty minutes afterwards, and then FINALLY got ready for my day. It. Was. AWESOME! When I say that I had the best time doing nothing I'm not joking. It was so nice to just be by myself too. I didn't worry about chores or feeding everyone. I didn't worry about what I was going to wear or whether the clothes were washed. I walked around in my underwear, people. These chances are really few and far between. Really far. I don't ever get time like this because I'm always going. There's always something else I could be doing, and if you know me you know everyone else comes before me. That's just how I am. Naturally though, I'm a pretty independent person, and there are times when I crave that space. I don't push for it though. Had Emery not even mentioned anything I would have happily spent the whole weekend with it just being us two. In fact, I had been looking forward to it. However, she wanted to have a sleep over with her grandma & grandpa. Something tells me ice cream was involved. So, I let her.

Around eleven on Sunday Emery finally called to tell me that she would be ready for me to pick her up as soon as she was done "driving" her car. Soon after that I received a text from my sister-in-law letting me know that we were still on for a kayaking trip that afternoon. Which is a post for another time. So, off I went to pick up my little. She had made some crafts, colored some pictures, and even showed me a few gymnastic moves that she learned while at her grandparent's house. She was ecstatic and I finally felt like I had reset the internal batteries. Gratitude was expressed to everyone. Once we made our way back home we started to get ready for our next adventure of the day. But for that story, you'll just have to wait to read about it later.

Errr...umm..Merry Christmas?

So, on my four day weekend I spent it all just trying to make sure we had gotten all the presents for Christmas. On Christmas Eve, some friends came over and at some point I became inebriated. Beyond inebriated. Then for the first half of Christmas Day I spent it with my head in the toilet or trying to suck it up for Emery. Then, I took a nap and was all better. My chest still hurts though. That afternoon we went to my husband’s grandmother’s house to celebrate with his side of the family.

Lots of food, good conversation, and we headed back home to just take it easy. And take it easy we did. So easy that I still have about 3 loads of laundry to do. My house was a disaster zone. Emery’s room looked like a toy bomb exploded in it, and our room needed some serious attention. So yesterday afternoon, I had my mother watch Emery while I cleaned up as much as I could. I still have dishes to wash, and the bathroom to clean. But my house smells wonderful, and you can see the floor now!!! You have no idea how awesome that is! Ha!

I do have pictures from Christmas, but nothing really great. Like I said I wasn’t up to doing much and apparently no one else knows how to work a camera but me. Still, as soon as I get them uploaded to my computer I’ll spam the crap out of this blog with pictures! I promise. This week was/is a short one for me at work. My bosses are the best! So we get another four day weekend! Woo woo!! Except this one will probably not involve liquor. Maybe some painting, more cleaning, and finally a haircut! Maybe go see a movie with some friends too. Who knows?

That’s about all I got for ya. Things have been keeping us pretty busy, my diet took a brief hiatus (but I’m getting back on track), and New Years is right around the corner. My, how time flies. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas! 

Well, That Was Fun...

Ha! Oh man, where to begin. Ok, so after all of those “epiphanies” I talked about before. I realized that I need to have my own little world. Separate from my husbands. We can’t be together all of the time, and sometimes a little relaxing time on your own, with your own friends, can be a good thing. Unfortunately, I can probably count my girlfriends on one hand. Give or take a few fingers. Most of them don’t live around here anymore either. Now, let’s take into consideration that I spent most of my time hanging out with dudes rather than chicks growing up. So my phone book is pretty much all guys. No lie. As fun as it was then, it really sucks now because I’m left with very little “girl's night out” options. Booooo!

So I did the most awful thing in the world. *GASP* I had a night out with guy friends. Oh em gee, huh? I hadn’t heard from my friend in over a year, and I hadn’t actually seen him in over four years. There was literally so much we had to catch up on. He has a girlfriend and a little one, and I am married with my own little one. So, when he suggested that I meet him and a friend for drinks right after work, I said sure. I told my husband and he said for me to go ahead and go because then he’d get a chance to fit in a practice that day. I was pretty excited to get to see him again and see how he was doing. He used to be a really good listener and just an all-around good friend. So, I confirmed and we decided on a day to go have drinks after work.

It wasn’t until thinking about it some more that I wondered if it was even a good idea? If someone my husband and I knew saw us? Would they make a huge thing about it and start rumors? What about his friends? Would his girlfriend get mad? That’s the last thing I need. He’s a friend. A person that was in my life before marriage in a non-romantic way and we’re catching up. Is that really a bad thing? I figured since my husband was ok with it I shouldn’t have to worry. I just don’t want to give my family a bad reputation. And I really don’t need any of those “omg she’s totally cheating on her husband with those two guys” rumors making there way around town. It’s not nice.

Well, I had myself a good time. We caught up, had some beers, and had a few debates. I was told that I still looked the same, which I totally know he was lying, I’ve packed on a couple pounds after all. We talked about parenthood. How we’ve both changed and grown up in different ways. I talked about how I was focused on getting back into shape because I felt so huge after having a child. He and his friend talked about how us girls worry too much about appearances and weight. Apparently, I sound just like their girlfriends when I talk about it. LOL! He said that I was a beautiful woman and my husband was a lucky man and that I should always take compliments as a good thing. I got to talk about how much I missed California, and about Emery. We shared pictures of our kids, and it felt like old times kind of. It’s nice being able to talk to someone and it not be all serious, feelings, and bills. We paid for our drinks, said our goodbye's, and I went grocery shopping. I did end up seeing a friend of ours there and he came up to say hello and asked about my husband and the babe. He gave me a hug and told me to tell the old man hello. And that was that.

So this brings up my question: Is it wrong to have a night out or happy hour drinks with your guy friends? I’ve never really seen any of my guy friends in that way, so I never thought twice about it before. Now that I’m married, however, I’m not exactly sure what the ground rules are? I usually avoided it or I make sure that my husband comes along every time I meet up with guy friends. But, is this really a big problem? Should it be something avoided? My husband has had his “guy nights” where there were females in attendance. At first, I was a little annoyed, but it’s not like he can control who gets invited. I just trust that he wouldn’t do something he's not supposed to. He, in turn, trusts me. And I’m so not the cheating kind. I love my husband, and I’m not out looking for anything else. Still, it seems like this kind of stuff is looked down on. A lot. And after actually going out and doing it, I don’t really know why...?

p.s Just to avoid all of the stress,

I probably won't do a night out with only guys next time.

It'll have to be a mixed group. LOL! 

Friday, I Love You

I’m so thankful for Fridays. They mean that I get to have a two-day break. I get to try to rest and catch myself. I plan on doing that this weekend. I plan on just enjoying.

But until five o'clock hits, I'm going to listen to music. Music is wonderful. It can make you cry, laugh, smile, remember, forget. And today, I’m trying to get into a better mood for this weekend. I now know why I felt so fat yesterday, and why I was eating so much (nope, not pregnant). It's nice to know that there was a reason for my overnight weight gain, it wasn't all just in my head. Phew! So today, I’m just going to listen to music that takes me back. That makes me feel good. Music that reminds me, that no matter what, I am still me. I’m still that girl that loved to dance, go watch shows, run, and be free. I’m still that girl that never backed down from a fight, and loved those around her so deeply. One day, I hope to teach my daughter those very same things.

Courage. Faith. Strength. Love. Music.

Happy Friday!!