Lately, I’ve done my best to remain positive but I'd be lying if I said it's been smooth sailing. Financially things are messy. Isn’t that always the case though? As you've probably read, my weight loss has been non-existent, which is really starting to become a concern. I find that I’m always tired, and it goes beyond just in a physical way. I’ve noticed a few drastic mood swings that occur once or twice a month too. Though that could just be a bad case of PMS. Still, I do my best to keep a positive outlook. I know that things will be okay. I know that eventually, my hard work will pay off. I know that no matter what I am going through that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Because life has taught me that everything will eventually pass. And I need to find joy in the little moments just as much as in the big ones. Whether it be cuddling in bed with my daughter as we watch her favorite movie, or throwing caution to the wind and eating chocolate cake for breakfast. I promise that doesn't happen often. Whether it's staying in I need to do more of what makes me happy. Either way, I do my best to keep the negative out and move forward.
But there are days, y’all. Days when I find it really hard to get through anything without having a meltdown. Days when I want to close myself off from everyone. Days when I get so emotional that I find myself sobbing in the middle of my bedroom floor. Or the drive home from work. There are days when a lot of what I’m going through makes me feel hopeless and helpless. Moments when I feel completely unlovable. Even though I know, in my mind, that this is not the case. There are days when my emotions sometimes take the lead, and I feel like I'm drowning. So, when all of this starts happening more frequently its how I know that I’m reaching a point where I need to seek out some help. To achieve some balance. I'm aware that there could be a number of other issues that are making me feel like this. A hormone imbalance or my thyroid could possibly be the culprits. And even though I had everything checked out just two years ago (my labs came back fine) these are issues that could be fine one year and not the next. But it could also be that my anxiety, depression, and/or stress are starting to surface again. It could be because of the season change or a cycle I normally have. It may be time for me to talk to my doctor, or schedule an appointment with my counselor. All I really know for sure is that there’s something that feels off, there are several factors, and I need to find some answers. In the end, what this all boils down to is me finally scheduling the appointments necessary to figure it all out. Or bust out my favorite coping techniques to get me through it to see if they'll help.
Now, this week is *Mental Illness Awareness week. And because of this I wanted to take some time today to just put it out there that sometimes we need help. And that’s okay. Sometimes we need to take medicine, short-term or long-term, in order to get back to feeling like ourselves. And that’s okay. Sometimes we just need to talk things out with an unbiased third party in order to get a different perspective. And that’s okay too. None of this makes you weak. None of this makes you less than. If you can get by without any of this stuff then that's great too! It's what I'm striving for, long term. To be fully in control of how I deal with things and how I feel. But don't think for one second that I haven't worked hard, or that it hasn't taken years for me to get to this point. That I haven't had help, or been placed on medication before. Just know that self-care is as important to your well being as it is to others around you. I can’t tell you enough about how amazing it is to have so many options available in order to seek out help. Whether it’s by phone, by internet, or in person. I'm personally a big fan of counselling. So, whatever help it is that you may need during the rough times, get it. If you ever want to talk I'm just an email away too. Let these resources help you. There’s no shame in it, and don’t you ever let anyone make you feel like there is.
*if you'd like to learn more about mental illness awareness and how you can help please visit NAMI.org
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