A Slow Shift

Lately, I've been feeling like my life is going through some sort of shift. Spring is here and for me this is when the new year really begins. It’s always been a time for me to take a step back, and just enjoy the outdoors with my family again. I end up doing a lot of cleaning, purging, and donating as well. Making sure that we’re ready for Summer. And since Winter leaves us with an extreme case of cabin fever the minute we’re able to put on some shorts and enjoy the sun we definitely do. And it usually takes a lot to get us to turn back. For me, Spring truly feels like we’re shaking out the cold, and breathing in the new freshness.

As much as this still applies to me this year I also feel like I’m “shaking out” a lot of unwanted negativity in myself and my life this time around. Last year was filled with a lot of drama, a lot of grown up decisions I didn't think I was ready for, and some not so great choices that led to some heavy consequences. I felt like no matter what I did I kept taking steps back. I was being held in place; stuck. But this year, this spring, I feel like I’m finally jumping forward.

I've made a commitment to be a better parent, and to put more effort into taking care of my marriage. I've reinforced some friendships and dissolved others. I've taken a step back from school because there was too much going on and I wasn't able to keep up (or afford it). I've learned to not only be happy of the time spent with my family but to show them. Express my gratitude for their help, support, and love. I've made peace with last year, and have decided to leave it in the past. I've decided to learn from it, and allow it to make me better. Stronger. Rather than allow it to become a repeat. Circles are continuous and I do not want to be stuck in that circle any longer.

So, this year will be better because I choose it to be. Just in saying that, I feel like a lot has been lifted from my shoulders. I've taken the pressure off (a bit) in order to look at things realistically. Know my limits, my expectations, and figure out what I’m willing to fight for. Sure it’s not all peachy, life will always throw a curve-ball or take you for a very unexpected ride, but I’m getting to where I want to be. I’m truly learning the meaning of “baby steps”, and I’m perfectly content with my life moving at that speed. It’s a slow shift, but a good one. And I can’t wait to see where the outcome, the fruits of my labor, take me.