Air Force

Ok, so I work at a dead end job with a bunch of people I have NOTHING in common with. The few that I do like talking to, I am not allowed to associate with. I want to get out of this place because I feel like I'm slowly suffocating. I am about $3,000 in debt and I make less than $450 EVERY two weeks! I try to pay, but I don't ever have enough money left over so I just get set back even more.

A friend of mine joined the Marines and has come down for a visit. When he told me how much he was making, I was pretty jealous. Another friend of ours joined the Navy, and when I heard how much he makes, and how his wife is a stay at home mom and had their child for free (I have to pay $1,500), I was WAY jealous!! So for a little while, my husband thought he should join the Navy. Which I completely would have supported him in, BUT he had some major doubts and he would be doing it solely for the college money. Which I don't believe anyone should do. I think you have to go in knowing that you could go to war, and if you're ok with that then sign on up. Just thinking about having to take orders, wear a uniform, or even get deployed was making him sick. He's completely against the military and war. So, this is what I told him: "If you're going to do this, make sure that THIS is what YOU want. Because if you're going to be miserable then you'll start to blame me for it and possibly resent us for "making" you choose that life." In the end, the Navy made the decision for us. Because of his record and because of his license problem they could not accept him. Crisis averted.

Then, I got to thinking...Well, why don't I join the military? Why not the air force? My husband's first reaction was "I don't think so, what if they send you away and you get killed?? I can not let you do that!" Then he switched on his male ego "This is not right, if anyone is going to join the military it should be me. I should be the one providing for our family, and I should be the one making the sacrifices. I'll do it so you don't have to, and I'll learn to love it." But I know my husband all too well, and doing something he hated would make him miserable. And when he's miserable he takes it out on everyone involved (I blame that on his mother). Plus, they already said he can not be accepted. So, I told him I wasn't joining right now, but it was just an option I was looking into.

I've been working at my current job, going on three years, and it's been MISERABLE. I hate it. But, I have to do it because we need the money. So why not join something that will probably be hard and dangerous, but that pays really well, AND pays for you to go to school?? I started to weigh the pros and cons and so far this is what I have come up with:

Pros:
Sign on bonus of $13,000 depending on your career choice.
Paid schooling
30 days of PAID vacation each year
HOUSING/ UTILITIES paid for
Food allowance
College fund for my daughter
TAX FREE retirement money
Paid relocation for my entire family
If I join now (depending on the sign on length) I would be out by the time Emery was 5.

Cons:
Boot camp is two months
Would at some point, get deployed for MONTHS at a time (I would be missing a lot in my daughters life)
I could get killed

Then there's the "Reserves" option which sounds nice too, but there's so much that I have to look into before making any decision. And it's a hard one. Everyone talks really good about it, but I know that there are more cons than what I have listed. Those are just the ones I have become aware of in the one day I spent researching it. I honestly wish there was a way for me to do all of this and stay in the US for the whole time. I am a chicken shit when it comes to thinking about warfare. I have trouble with living in Texas because its so hot! Can you imagine me in the middle east? God, I think I'd die because of the heat! I like the idea of serving my country, but man, there are some mighty big consequences attached. And to have to miss so much of my daughters first years, or possibly not get to see her grow up. I don't know if I can bring myself to do that...?

So, I am going to pray about this. I am going to try and get myself into shape just in case, lose some weight, and really really think about this before I do anything. I hope that if this is not what God's plan is, that he opens up a door for me to let me know otherwise.