Better Luck Next Time

Recently I was called in for a job interview. Now even though I wasn't actively searching for another job this one I was being asked about seemed like a change in pace, in a completely different field, and I went ahead with accepting the interview. I figured it couldn't hurt to see what was being offered, right? If I were to be offered the job I still had to see whether it was something better than what I currently had. Whether it was even a good fit for me. Worst case I'd wasted thirty minutes of my time. Best case I'd be making a career change.

So, a few weeks ago I met with the owners one night after work. We spoke about the job, the hours, and the pay. We spoke about family, and how long we had all been in the area. It seemed less like an interview, and more like I was just having a random conversation with two people I had just met. I was told that the person who would be given the job would technically be the only employee. The position was new, and so I asked about vacation/sick time to which they said they had never had to offer it before which was a bit if a concern for me as I have a little one. Overall, I felt that it went well, and both owners said they liked me. Still they had to interview two other candidates. I thanked them for their time, and left it at that.

Now, I've been at my current place of employment for almost seven years. It's steady, and it's routine. I enjoy the people I work with, and wasn't sure if I was ready to say goodbye. So, after I had gone to that interview I thought about asking my current employer about the possibility of a raise. I hadn't received one in over two years, and I know the market right now was down so I hadn't pushed the issue. Well, when I asked my supervisor about it I was told that I had capped out pay wise. Well, more like I questioned whether that was the case, and it was confirmed that I was correct. Even after he tried to convince the owner that I should get one it was denied on the grounds that I wasn't taking on any new responsibilities so there was no need to give me one. Just FYI that statement was crap, and showed how little the current owner knows about what I do. Anyway, I was informed that there would be no more raises for me, and I had climbed as far as I was allowed to within the company. For someone who has a single income run family, this was not something I wanted to hear.

A day later, I received a call. "We'd like to offer you the position. This is the starting pay. Think it over. We understand you need to go over this with your family, and just let us know by the end of the day what you decide." I was excited. I was nervous. The pay was a little less than what I currently make, but after six months I would be making more. I thought it over, spoke with my family, but still my main concern was no sick time. So, at the end of the day I called them back, "I would love to take you up on this job offer. And I know I'd be your only employee, but I was wondering if I made it a year with your company if we could revisit the topic of sick time? If not, that's fine. I will figure something out, but I'm definitely still wanting to take the job if you'll have me."

They asked when I could start, that they'd go over the sick time topic with someone who does their HR stuff, and then get back to me. Well, forty-eight hours later the job offer was retracted. "I know we told you to think over the offer before you gave us an answer, but when you didn't immediately say yes and then asked about sick time we reconsidered whether you'd be a good fit. The job was given to someone else, and they will be starting in two days. If it doesn't work out with that person then we'll reconsider giving you a call back." Y'all I would be lying if I said I wasn't bummed out. Especially at first. The income in the long run would have been better, and would have eased the strain a bit. After I got off the phone with them I felt like I had ruined a potentially great job offer by not just saying yes. I felt like it was unfair that I was even in the situation where sick time was even something I had to worry about when it came to accepting a job offer. But it is because I can't afford to make under a certain amount each week. That's my reality.

The truth is I don't have that second income to help lessen the weight of my financial burdens. If I miss a day, or my daughter gets sick and I have to stay home I lose out on bringing in a full paycheck. If that happens then I have to decided on whether a bill goes without being paid, or if I scale back my already low grocery budget. At least where I'm at right now I have paid time off I can use. So, I was just trying to be honest with them. And so even though I was bummed about having that opportunity taken away I felt like maybe it just wasn't the right decision for me at that time. So...better luck next time I guess. I'm optimistic that there will be another door opened for me when the time is right. Or maybe this company will contact me again in the future? Who knows? Everything happens for a reason though, and I just need to trust in that plan.

Wordless Wednesday

A Small Dream

Recently, I've been really thinking about what I want to do with my life. Not just in my marriage, or in terms of school either. Though school is still back on the table. But also in what I truly enjoy out of life. Consistently. Because a degree can only take you so far. You see, I've always said that I wanted to get a degree in Business Admin., or Marketing so that I wouldn't be limited to a specific kind of work. That was the end game, a stepping stone to grow, and maybe move out of this town. See the world. The problem is that it's always felt like a "means to an end". It's like I'm choosing that particular field of study only to get better, and not because it's something I'm truly interested in. When talking about how I felt stumped or stuck the one phrase I kept hearing was "do what you love". Once that happens you start to give more. Start to enjoy more. Feel confident in what you're doing, and like you have a purpose. Doing what you love to do makes it less about working for a paycheck, and more about feeling productive and content. 

Now, I always see women, and men who join companies like "It Works!", "Advocare", or "Origami Owl" (just to name a few) which are basically pyramid companies that they use to supplement their income. I'm not knocking these either so if you're a part of these don't get your feathers all ruffled. Honestly, if you can make a living doing this, and you enjoy it then more power to you honey! I actually have several friends that have joined, and I've even been asked to join up under them with the promise of earning extra money which is always tempting. The thing is that you have to sell a product, and you have to incorporate these items into basically everything (especially social media). It also usually requires a lot of enthusiasm on your part to be pushing those products ALL of the time. And I just couldn't see myself doing that. So that's why I always decline the offers to become a rep, or join a certain "family"/ brand. It's just not for me. 

​However, that idea of finding what I enjoy to do stuck with me. Or more like it became this nagging little thought that I just couldn't shake. ​The idea of finding a passion, and pursuing it was actually really appealing. So a few weeks ago, before all of my personal drama started to surface and wreak havoc, I started to really look at my life. I asked myself some questions​ about what I wanted to do. What were some goals that I had? Did I want to continue with my​ current job?​ Did I enjoy what I was doing?​ Should I scale back on my hours to create a better work/life balance? ​Would​ I ​rather work from home instead? ​Would I rather be doing something else entirely? If I had the money, or the financial backing what would I enjoy creating? ​Did I want to stay in my little town​, or look elsewhere? What could I do to make a difference? How could I help others, and could I find a job that would allow me to do so? What in my life didn't seem like so much work, and ​what was the cause of most of the ​stress? What did I enjoy doing? What was a constant for me?​ And surprisingly (or not if you really think about it) some of the answers to those questions revolved around books.

I love books. I like to read them, read about them, discover new authors, and have discussions. I'm always recommending books to others, or even looking for recommendations myself. So, I came to the conclusion that I would really love to own/run my own bookstore. We live in a small town, and the only major bookstore we had was shut down about a year ago due to a a failed buyout/bankruptcy. We now have a total of two stores that sell books, and the selections as well as hours of operation are all over the place. The majority of the books are old, used, and the selection available is very limited. I would like to bring more into our community that would allow people of all ages to find something interesting. Add a wider selection, and offer something different atmosphere wise. I'd also love to use some of the proceeds each month to donate to a charity or church. When I talked to a few people about this idea I was mainly asked what the point of a bookstore would be in this day, and whether I even saw it being successful long term. ​​I'm aware that we are in a digital age, and e-readers are really popular. However there's always a market for people who want physical copies of books, and even more so if they're affordable. I believe that kids and adults alike would enjoy a place to sit down, and open up a book. I miss having that space, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. So, that's my dream. To have my own shop. To be my own boss. To raise my daughter around books that can open up worlds to her. Whether I'll be able to do it or not, I have no idea. Right now it's just an idea. A dream. Hopefully it leads to some big things though.