Emery, Currently

Friday, December 21, 2012

I can’t believe that in two months, Emery will be three years old. I feel like just yesterday she was this tiny little newborn coming home from the hospital. So cuddly, and quiet. Sometimes I get caught up in the memories of diapers, breastfeeding, and tiny little onesies. Then I hear her as she starts whining about watching “Go Diego Go” for the millionth time and I become well aware of just how not a newborn she is. I find myself wondering how in the world did three years manage to go by? Before I know it she’ll be 5 and I’ll be sending her off to school. Damn, that kind of sucks. But, I can’t dwell on that right now. So instead this post will be about my little mini me, currently:


One recent development is that Emery has become very attached to me. Before hand she was a daddy’s girl all the way. She wouldn't even let me put her shoes on or brush her hair. Now that my husband started working again his shifts are mainly evening ones so this leaves him very little time with her. In the meantime, I get every second that I’m not at work or school with her so we've grown a lot closer. The look on my husband’s face when she won’t allow him to dress her in the mornings anymore is seriously heartbreaking. She did a version of this very same thing the last time he was working weird hours out of state so it wasn't that surprising to me this time around when she started to "pull away" from my husband. She was a lot younger then, but since she didn't see him that often she wanted me to hold her more than she wanted him to. It took her almost two months before she became adjusted. So now I just keep reassuring him that as soon as she gets used to the new routine we have, and his hours, she’ll do a lot better.

Other than that little difference Emery is doing great! Her vocabulary in both Spanish and English is pretty far along. She’s counting to 10 (in both languages) and knows a little under half of the alphabet (English only). She likes to hold many long conversations about anything and everything. She’ll go as far as to holding your face directly at hers so you “listen” to what she has to say. She’s also become VERY independent. And very stubborn. Her favorite shows are: Dora The Explorer, Go Diego Go, The Fresh Beat Band, & Team Umi Zoomi. She’s also really gotten into music lately. I've always known that my mini me would be surrounded by music. Her father plays many instruments, and I enjoy listening to all different kinds of genres. When she was about a year old she enjoyed listening and occasionally beating on her dad’s drum set. But now she asks for “her drums”, and she picks up her guitar to play with her dad when he’s playing. She’s constantly dancing and singing. That living room of ours sees plenty of dance parties throughout the day.

So, we’re good. Emery is doing great, and life has finally slowed down enough for me to really sit back and enjoy it. And enjoy it I will. Happy Friday, everyone!!




December 14th

Monday, December 17, 2012

After last week's tragedy I can honestly say that I’m heartbroken. So much innocence was taken away. I can’t imagine what the families are going through. I can’t imagine what the parents are going through. I can’t imagine what was so bad that drove a young man to do this. I just can’t.

All weekend, I held Em close. I watched her sleep. I told her I loved her over and over again. We cuddled and danced. There were a lot of hugs and kisses. I took the time to just be still and appreciate what I was blessed with. Watching my daughter laugh and play, knowing that twenty families out there would not have this, broke my heart even more. I am so sorry that this happened. No one deserves this. No parent should have to go through this. Ever. I cried a lot. I prayed for the families, and I asked for God to heal us. All of us.

I prayed for him. This was something I have never done before, but I felt like I needed to so I did. I can't imagine what was so wrong in his life to make him do this, but I was sorry that it was. I'm sorry that this was his solution. I also prayed for my family. I prayed for our future as well as this nation's. And I thanked God for every morning he allows me to wake up with Emery in my life. I may not have much in my life, but I have my family. I have Em. And I should take the time to be thankful for this more often. This tragedy opened my eyes to how truly fragile life is. Living in a small town, or "knowing your neighbors", does not protect you. No matter how much we wish that it did. And we should never take the time we have here for granted because it can be taken away just like that. Our babies can be taken away just like that.

Now, I know that I said I would get back to “regular programming”, but after last Friday I just feel like I need a day. I need to feel okay. I need to hold my daughter a little extra. I need to allow myself to be okay with knowing that I don’t have control. But I also need to reassure myself that being scared, after something like this happens, is perfectly okay.

Listen

Saturday, December 15, 2012