Wordless Wednesday

Be The Change

The world is currently in a state of chaos. First came the panic from a pandemic that we knew very little about. Then came the anger and unrest caused by social injustice. My small little community, that more often than not serves as a bubble, usually shields us from the bigger issues going on in other places of the country. When viewing videos or listening to sound bytes of the unrest the world is currently experiencing it almost feels like it’s happening somewhere else. Another country, far, far away. For the most part, I tend to stay off of social media, and I just live oblivious to  the outside world. Focused on my little family and our day-to-day. And if I’m being really honest, sometimes, what’s going on in the world doesn’t even register to me. But the events that happened after George Floyd’s death were too loud for me to not notice. The outside world started to trickle into my life. As someone who’s usually able to see where people are coming from on both sides of the spectrum, these latest tragedies and events caused me to ask myself some hard questions. They caused me to have difficult conversations with people that I love. They caused me to stand my ground on certain issues. Agreeing to disagree. But they’ve also shown me that right now, God is just asking me to listen to others with a bit of grace and understanding. 

Now, I've experienced very little racism or systemic racism in my lifetime. At least, of the kind that was obvious and I was made aware of. But when I did come face to face with it I won’t lie by saying that it didn’t sting a bit. It definitely caused me some level of anger in the moment. However, I would tell myself that they had a right to their opinions. Because, like it or not, they do. That the person who expressed those feelings towards me was the one with the major issues, not me. They were missing out on a pretty great person - not to toot my own horn or anything. In the end, it wasn’t my job to try and change their minds though. And who the hell were they to make me feel bad about myself because they didn't like my skin color anyway? No one, that’s who. If they couldn’t see past the color of my skin then fuck’em. They didn’t deserve my attention. NOT TODAY, SATAN. They didn’t deserve my friendship, my business, or my loyalty. Their opinions and views were not going to stop me from pursuing whatever the heck I wanted though. So, with a middle finger up in the air, I moved along with my life.

However, my story isn’t everyone else’s. And how can we discredit or dismiss others who have faced large amounts of racism? How can we, especially those of us who mostly grew up in small community bubbles, tell others that they shouldn't be angry when injustice happens? How can we compare experiences when the background is nowhere near the same? Or how can we expect people to not get tired of brutalities and tell them that they shouldn't demand change? In policies or training. How can we not support having better checks and balances in place? On the flip side, at what point will other’s realize that in order to create lasting change we need to start seeking out careers in these fields and voting. We also need to encourage our children to seek out education. This doesn’t require spending hundreds of thousands of dollars either. If you want a more diverse police force - encourage people of color to join. If you want more diverse politicians - encourage people of color to run for offices. If you want stricter punishments - learn about the police policies in place where you live. If something in there doesn't sit well, find out how you can change it. If you want there to be less racism - lead by example. Speak up when you see it. If you want your communities to be more diverse - get involved and participate. Let your presence be KNOWN. And if we want people of color to stop being killed then we need to start by not killing each other first. There are a lot of lives lost due to POC on POC violence. And we need to not be okay with that. Because if we don’t have enough respect for ourselves, our own brothers and sisters, how can we demand it of anyone else? 

I understand that not everyone is racists. I understand that not all cops are bad. And I know that being white doesn't mean that you haven't had your own struggles. Or that you haven't faced racism yourself. It doesn't mean that you haven’t had to work just as hard as the next person either. Nevertheless, this isn’t everyone's reality. Horrible people will do and say horrible things. So, do I believe that racism still exists? Yes. Do I think people should stand up and demand change? Absolutely. Do I think protests should be allowed? Of course. But do I believe that turning protests into riots is doing anyone any favors? No. Do I think that "disbanding" the police is the answer to ending police brutalities? Definitely not. Do I believe that the looting of businesses will win support for the cause? Not at all. Because just like the horrible actions of a few cops are currently taking away from all of the good that police officers normally do, destruction and violence are taking away from the message that is currently trying to be made by specific groups. These negatives are what become the highlights. And this is how the current message quickly turns into something that can be capitalized on and exploited to create more division, excuses, and chaos. So, if we really want to see change then I believe that we all need to start doing better about how we listen, learn, and communicate with each other. Don't dismiss someone else's story just because it's different from your own. We all need to take a few steps back and open up our hearts and minds to what others have to say. We don't have to agree, but we can always offer up validation. And remember that kindness, compassion, and empathy...... cost us nothing. 💜  

Hey. Hi. Hello.

Well, y’all, how are things in your part of the world?? I’ve sat down at my computer to write several times over the last two months, only to get right back up because everything is just empty. We HAD short trips planned and a handful of shows. A lot of hiking and swimming days. If things were normal, we’d be in the last stretch of the school year and getting ready for summer break. But none of those things are happening now. My daughter is already so over being at home every day. She misses the structure she had in school and her friends. As for this blog, there are only so many times I can write about my mental health. Only so many times I can post a picture of Emery in the same exact spot- just in a different outfit. There are only so many new updates that I can disclose, none of which would be written about with more than a handful of sentences, before it would all get really old. So, I’ve decided to just not force myself to write anything. If it comes, great! If it doesn’t that’s great too! In the meantime, I’m just trying to enjoy or struggle through whatever I’m faced with for the day. And I’m doing my best, just like everyone else, to get through this. Which is more than enough for me.  

For us, in my little part of Texas, this is technically Week 9 of the COVID-19 pandemic. And it’s been...interesting? Challenging? Relaxing? Frustrating? Boring? Loving? Eye-opening? All of the above. Let me tell ya, there’s definitely a lot that can be learned from being forced to social distance. To stay in our homes as much as possible. And it’s not always good things. Sometimes you’re only left with having to deal with how you’re feeling and the why's behind those feelings. Sometimes the ugly comes out. I’ve had to ask myself more hard questions over the past month than I've had to in over three years. I’ve also had to start the process of unlearning a few habits. Which is all new to me and not always easy to navigate. This work is something I've avoided for a long time because I could put it off for another day. There was always something else more pressing to deal with. But now, in quarantine, there are no more excuses. So, if nothing else, I hope that I at least have some emotional/mental growth when things return to normal. That's all I'm asking of myself. 

For today, I just wanted to pop in on here and say hello. Let y'all know how we were doing. We're doing well. Our town is smaller in size so things are opening back up for us. We’ve been able to go outside, in the country, a few times each month so the kids can get some fresh air and several hours of play. Some much-needed screen-free-time. We've been able to visit family; keeping our numbers below 10. Last week, we were able to go sit in a restaurant which was so wonderful. A little bit of our normal is coming back, but the concern is that it'll get taken away again if we aren't careful. Now, even though our state is opening back up the stores are still out of the good toilet paper, and the business hours are very short. However, life keeps moving, right? That sense of fear we felt in the first few weeks is almost completely gone too. Not sure if that’s a good thing or bad one, but it is what it is.  I hope each of you reading this is doing well though. I hope there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, wherever you may be. Until the next time, I leave you with a few pictures of what life looks like for us right now. Stay safe & adios.