Hey. Hi. Hello.

Well, y’all, how are things in your part of the world?? I’ve sat down at my computer to write several times over the last two months, only to get right back up because everything is just empty. We HAD short trips planned and a handful of shows. A lot of hiking and swimming days. If things were normal, we’d be in the last stretch of the school year and getting ready for summer break. But none of those things are happening now. My daughter is already so over being at home every day. She misses the structure she had in school and her friends. As for this blog, there are only so many times I can write about my mental health. Only so many times I can post a picture of Emery in the same exact spot- just in a different outfit. There are only so many new updates that I can disclose, none of which would be written about with more than a handful of sentences, before it would all get really old. So, I’ve decided to just not force myself to write anything. If it comes, great! If it doesn’t that’s great too! In the meantime, I’m just trying to enjoy or struggle through whatever I’m faced with for the day. And I’m doing my best, just like everyone else, to get through this. Which is more than enough for me.  

For us, in my little part of Texas, this is technically Week 9 of the COVID-19 pandemic. And it’s been...interesting? Challenging? Relaxing? Frustrating? Boring? Loving? Eye-opening? All of the above. Let me tell ya, there’s definitely a lot that can be learned from being forced to social distance. To stay in our homes as much as possible. And it’s not always good things. Sometimes you’re only left with having to deal with how you’re feeling and the why's behind those feelings. Sometimes the ugly comes out. I’ve had to ask myself more hard questions over the past month than I've had to in over three years. I’ve also had to start the process of unlearning a few habits. Which is all new to me and not always easy to navigate. This work is something I've avoided for a long time because I could put it off for another day. There was always something else more pressing to deal with. But now, in quarantine, there are no more excuses. So, if nothing else, I hope that I at least have some emotional/mental growth when things return to normal. That's all I'm asking of myself. 

For today, I just wanted to pop in on here and say hello. Let y'all know how we were doing. We're doing well. Our town is smaller in size so things are opening back up for us. We’ve been able to go outside, in the country, a few times each month so the kids can get some fresh air and several hours of play. Some much-needed screen-free-time. We've been able to visit family; keeping our numbers below 10. Last week, we were able to go sit in a restaurant which was so wonderful. A little bit of our normal is coming back, but the concern is that it'll get taken away again if we aren't careful. Now, even though our state is opening back up the stores are still out of the good toilet paper, and the business hours are very short. However, life keeps moving, right? That sense of fear we felt in the first few weeks is almost completely gone too. Not sure if that’s a good thing or bad one, but it is what it is.  I hope each of you reading this is doing well though. I hope there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, wherever you may be. Until the next time, I leave you with a few pictures of what life looks like for us right now. Stay safe & adios. 

Distance Learning Struggles

First, I want to say that teachers really do deserve a hell of a lot more recognition for what they do. And definitely more money. I have so much respect for teachers and I know that I could not do their jobs. At all. Wrangling 20+ kids, teaching, dealing with parents, and having to answer countless questions every single day. I’d go insane. So yes, it takes a special kind of person to be able to do that job. However, what this whole pandemic has shown me, is that our schools were not prepared for anything like this at all. The game plan had a lot of holes. And unfortunately, it was putting A LOT of stress on parents who couldn’t stay at home with their kids. On families that don’t have access to high-speed internet. On children who do much better with hands-on learning. And well, this was a problem.  

On a normal day, my daughter is in what they like to call a “POD”. This is just another way of saying that she has different teachers throughout the day for each subject. So, when we were given the news that schools would be temporarily closed and all of the work would switch over to online, I assumed that this was something our schools had a plan in place for. An emergency back-up plan, if you will. Turns out, that was not the case. Our teachers had to come up with something within four days and then hope it worked for everyone. Now, I love our schools. They’ve always been pretty great when it comes to problem-solving and working with families. So, I felt confident that everything would work out and any kinks would be ironed out as best as they could be within the first week or two. It wasn’t until after we received the kid’s instructional packet & iPads that I started to feel a bit nervous. “Is this really how they’re wanting this done?” The instructions were confusing and they differed by subject. Online codes were incorrect, and there were partial assignments included for the first week. It’s now been six days of trying to get things going, and man has it been a struggle. 

Our kids were instructed to complete all school work via Google Classroom, which is great. However, each teacher had different methods that they would like the work to be done, shown, and turned in. Live Streams for lessons were scheduled in the middle of the day at times, and then there were THREE different apps that had to be used for communication. The same information was being distributed to both students and parents regardless of who it was meant for too. Then, each teacher had different online “teacher hours” as well. And some of these kids, who don’t have access to high-speed internet during the day, were not able to ask questions or receive answers because those hours would be over by the time we'd get home. Now, I know that this is a very sudden and new territory for ALL of us. And everyone is doing their best. I also get that these issues are something that families with a parent who is able to be at home could probably navigate through a bit easier, but for those of us who still have to work, we were left scrambling. 

With each passing day, my daughter was falling more and more behind. Since she has no access to high-speed internet during the day she wasn’t able to participate in the "Live Stream" lesson overviews which she really needed to be able to watch. So, I finally had to take a half-day off from work in order to help get her caught up. After a few back and forth messages with her teachers on Wednesday, we finally decided to opt-out of doing everything online. Instead, we’ll be doing what I like to call hybrid classes: paper packets during the day with online completion when she has access to the internet in the evenings. This looks and sounds like it will be a lot better for us. And I know that we weren’t the only family having these issues either because by Thursday morning there was a mass email sent out by the superintendent stating that this alternative would be available to ALL families starting today. 

Over the next two weeks, we'll see if this new method works better for us. When I first received all of the different instructions, paperwork, and classroom codes I felt completely overwhelmed. Not only was Emery falling behind after the first three days but she was having a hard time understanding what she had to do for each teacher's assignment to be considered "completed". I had no idea how we were going to manage and I was almost in tears because of how stressed out I felt by all of this. Thankfully, after a lot of communication with her teachers, I'm so grateful to them and our school for coming up with this alternative. For working with us, and understanding that this has all been a very drastic change for ALL of us. There will be a learning curve and it might get a little bumpy. Especially since they're considering keeping our school closed for the rest of this school year. But we're doing our best. And none of this would be possible without them.  

Good Luck, Godspeed, & Quarantine

I’m already so over this whole COVID-19 pandemic, y’all. We haven’t been issued any quarantine orders where I live but the chatter going around is that they’ll be issued soon. As of right now, store hours have been scaled back. The schools have been closed and are in the process of switching over to online for the next few weeks. Pending further review & testing. Restaurants are officially on a “to go” basis but bars are still open. Just limited in how many people can be in them. Every morning that I pass through town on my way to work I see lines of people waiting to get into the grocery stores as soon as they open. And y’all, I haven’t been able to find toilet paper anywhere. Thankfully, I have about three jumbo rolls left. By the time I get off from work, anything that’s been restocked is gone. Which really sucks, but what can you do, right?

Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash

Well, how about NOT overstocking on shit you already have stockpiled? That’s probably a pretty good start. Make a list, people. Find out just how much food and supplies you need for two weeks and then stick with that. You don’t need ten bottles of hand sanitizer and soap, Susan. There’s no need to buy three jumbo packs of toilet paper, Karen. And if things are labeled “WIC” or “SNAP” approved, maybe opt to buy a different brand of that item because there are families on government assistance who really need them. Panicking gets you nowhere either, folks. Causing hysteria is stupid too. Just calm the fuck down, and think for a minute. Maybe take a break from your phones and televisions for a bit too, yea? Some things are beyond our control and it doesn’t do you any good to stress over it. And for the love of good health, wash your damn hands. Try not to touch a lot of people either. Get some rest while you can. It helps, I promise. If we’re all just a bit more cautious instead of panicked, we’d get farther along. There would be no shortages and the virus wouldn’t spread so quickly. 

I know many of you are stuck in quarantined areas now. Some of you have also been instructed to work from home. I say use this time to recharge a bit if you can. You don’t have to be overly productive or overworking yourself just because the setting has changed. Create a work area, set some goals for the day, and just do your best. Take some breaks or go for a walk when you start feeling frustrated - or that cabin fever sets in. And if you’re having to do all of this while also parenting and teaching kids, well, I dunno what to tell you other than, “Good luck, and godspeed, y’all. You’re in my prayers for sure.” This is all probably stuff that you’ve heard over and over again by now. I just really needed to throw my version out there. You’re welcome. Now, I’m off to find some canned soup, ramen noodles, some of Emery’s favorite fruit, and hopefully some affordable coconut milk. Maybe snag some toilet paper if I’m lucky. Wish me luck, and stay safe people. Sending our love...💙