Write about someone that's taught you something recently.
Let your friends be a part of your team right now. Let them cook for you, bring you food, take you to movies, invite you over on Friday nights to watch Netflix, provide you a shoulder to cry on, hug you, and love you. - Traver Boehm, Today I RiseI have someone in my life who unexpectedly became a pretty good friend of mine. There’s this sense of calmness when he’s around that I rarely get with other people which is nice. We’re pretty comfortable in each other’s company. He’s seen me on some of my worst day, y’all. I never feel like like I have to have all of my shit together when we hang out either. What I really enjoy about our friendship though is that we can spend our time hanging out and having a conversation, or we can spend it in complete silence. And I don’t feel this need to fill that silence up with anything at all. People have recently pointed out that some of this can easily be seen as very “couple like” things and I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t thought the same thing a few times myself. But that’s not exactly the word I would choose to describe us. Our friendship just doesn’t fit into a neat little box no matter how hard I've tried to put it into one in the past. And believe me I really, really tried. There was even a small window of time when I told myself that I needed to end our friendship because he threw me WAY off balance, and I didn’t need that in my life.
But you know what? I don’t think there’s ever going to be a way for me to backtrack my way out of this. Or that I’d even want to if I could. Because we aren’t a couple and we aren’t dating, but we’re there for each other. He’s sat next to me, patiently listening, as I talked about my fear of being alone and how heartbroken I felt at how easily B was able to replace me in his life. He’s seen me ugly cry, heard me say some not-so-nice things out loud, and doesn’t hold it against me. “It’s shitty. I get it.” He’s even sat through four back-to-back Hallmark movies and actually discussed them with me. Yes, I know that makes him a real trooper. And even when he thinks that I’m being ridiculous for asking him to “pinky promise” when he says he’ll do something he still offers up his pinky because he knows that it’s weirdly important to me. Gotta love those trust issues, right? He brings me chocolate on those really, really, low days. And surprisingly, for two people who tend to look like they’re pissed off all of the time, there’s a lot of smiling and laughter. Sure, sometimes it's over some really morbid shit but most of the time it's over some normal fun stuff. Now, I do my best to reciprocate what’s being given to me. When he needs to talk things out I listen. When he asks for my advice I do my best to give it. When he needs to get away from the noise in his head my door is always open. I recently sat through the John Wick movie and quizzed him every few minutes on it. If you’ve seen it, you know about the dog scene, and if you know me at all then you know this makes ME a trooper too. When he starts to get discouraged I make him revisit his goals and plans for the future. Letting him know that he's doing a really great job. When he calls in the middle of the night asking if he can crash on the couch for whatever reason he has I set out a blanket and pillow. "Just make sure to lock the door when you get in, okay?" And when I think back to how or when we met I honestly can't remember, which is pretty unusual for me. But it just feels like he's always been right here.
So, I don’t see our relationship as something romantic or platonic. There's just me and him. It’s almost like he was placed in my life to remind me that there are people out there who can care about you without having ulterior motives. People who won't lie or hurt you. He's reminded me that there are still people out there who won’t expect or demand that I give anything more or less than what I'm willing to offer. There’s no pressure to be something more or less than what I am, and that in turn gives me this freedom to be unapologetically myself. And that's why I really like having him in my life. Because sometimes you just need that one person who gets that you're a little messed up, that you're seriously hurting, and they don't allow it to phase them at all. They still show up. They're here to teach us that no matter how shitty we see ourselves sometimes, we're still worth someone's time and attention.
So, I don’t see our relationship as something romantic or platonic. There's just me and him. It’s almost like he was placed in my life to remind me that there are people out there who can care about you without having ulterior motives. People who won't lie or hurt you. He's reminded me that there are still people out there who won’t expect or demand that I give anything more or less than what I'm willing to offer. There’s no pressure to be something more or less than what I am, and that in turn gives me this freedom to be unapologetically myself. And that's why I really like having him in my life. Because sometimes you just need that one person who gets that you're a little messed up, that you're seriously hurting, and they don't allow it to phase them at all. They still show up. They're here to teach us that no matter how shitty we see ourselves sometimes, we're still worth someone's time and attention.
“Hey! Take a selfie with me.” No. /// “C’mon! Pretty please??” No. /// “Ugh! Quit being so damn difficult. Just smile so I can take the picture.” You know, you’re kind of a brat. /// “Yes. Yes, I am. Now, say cheese!”
