Wordless Wednesday

She likes to get her backpack and "computer" ready like I do, on days that I go to class.
And yes, that is a binky. 

A Good Kind of Disconnect

Recently, I’ve been feeling a bit alone when it comes to my views on marriage. I don’t know how some people come off as having the “perfect marriage”? How some people go off about how their spouse is “the air they breath”? How the “honeymoon phase never ended”, or how they “love spending every minute together”? Is that really how it’s suppose to be? Because if it is....FUCK, are my husband and I in trouble.

I believe that marriage is hard. It takes work, commitment, sacrifice, and sometimes you really have to just bite your tongue and smile. Don’t get me wrong, there are wonderful moments, and lots of love! A lot of sex too. You can agree on things, and I’m sure that for the most part you do get along. It’s not like you married them because you hated them, right? So yes, I totally believe that it can be all cupcakes and rainbows. I just don't feel like it's like that all of the time.

It’s no big secret that my husband and I haven’t always been great. Sometimes I feel like we fell in love so young that we didn’t really think about how our own separate worlds would be effected once the “honeymoon” phase was over. I've known him since I was fifteen, and we lived together for two years before getting married. You’d think we would know each other pretty well, right? But, even now *three years deep*, I discover new things all of the time. Some I like, some I love, and others I absolutely hate. That doesn’t mean I don’t love him, though. It just means we’re different. We grow at different speeds, one maybe a bit slower than the other, and change happens. But this is a natural part of life. You can either grow together, and embrace each other’s changes, or it can break you.

Well, we were almost broken once. It’s something that we both work at on a daily basis, because we love each other. I don’t feel like either one of us ever wants to go back to that place. That said, there are some days when I seriously want to stick a fork in him. LOL! And then there are the days I can’t keep my hands off him. We have days where he stresses me out, and I find myself wanting to scream. Then there are other times where he’s the only person I want to be around. I’m sure it’s the same for him too. I’m no “bowl of sunshine” either. We definitely don’t always like the same things. Nor do we always get along. And this, to me, is okay.

I feel like sometimes it’s good to feel a little disconnected. To be different. It makes you really put effort into a relationship. Just because you’re husband and wife doesn’t mean that all of a sudden, you physically become one person. You each have your own thoughts, feelings, and pace. However, a little disconnect just might be the push that forces you to make that date night happen. Or it just might be what you need to get shit off your chest? Then again, I could have it all wrong, and you might think there’s something seriously wrong with my marriage if this is how it is. But, it works for us. :)

Who knows, maybe it would be cool if we were 100% in sync? Maybe it’s weird that we aren’t “worshiping” the ground the other walks on? Maybe it would be nice to be one "unit"? Always thinking alike, and wanting to do the same things. But so far, that hasn't been our thing. And I guess so long as we're happy, that's all that really matters. Right?  

This is an awful picture, because you can see my double chin, but it's one of the most recent ones I have. We hardly ever take pictures.

It Was One Of Those Weekends...

This weekend was not  the greatest. My brother and his old lady stayed over, which was a plus. I always enjoy when they come out to visit. She allowed me to vent and get things off my chest that I wouldn't have otherwise been able to. Thanks, Kim! We were also granted a lot of sunshine this weekend! On Saturday we attempted to fly a kite (but the wind was all kinds of crazy AND it was cold), and on Sunday the three of us (Kim, Emery, and I) went out for a walk. I was totally right about Emery missing it, too. She was bummed when we started making our way home instead of farther down some other dirt roads. She's always up for exploring. If the weather continues to be this wonderful though, I’ll be pulling out my bikes this next weekend. :) And if there’s one thing she loves more than walks, it’s bike rides.

This week is about to get busy. I have two exams, and a crap load of homework to finish up by Friday. Then, it’s Spring Break, and I get a week off!! Which is something I’m going to need seeing as how I’m considering taking a class or two during this summer's mini semester. I feel like it’s such a crazy idea especially with some latest developments I found out about “my degree plan”. I’ll post about it once I get everything all sorted out. But I feel like I need to get shit done, as soon as possible. So, maybe I will or maybe I won’t. Either way, a week long break sounds pretty damn good right now.