Showing posts with label Flashback Friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flashback Friday. Show all posts

Flashback Friday: A Story

Friday, March 2, 2012

On Wednesday I went to McDonald’s to grab a quick breakfast. When I went to pay, the guy at the window looked familiar so I did one of those “nonchalant” double takes. It wasn’t who I thought it was. But it got me thinking about my friend, and I started to wonder how he was doing.

When I was about 13 years old, I used to hang out at my friend Lori’s house. We knew each other through catechism classes (CCD), and church. We didn’t attend the same school but we were both into basketball, and still going through that awkward stage of really acting like “young ladies”, so we bonded instantly. Our wardrobe consisted of basketball shorts, t-shirts, and our Nike's. The perfect BFF’s.

Well, my friend has an older brother who is two years older than us and a football player. ;-) I thought he was so cute and he always had his friends around, who weren’t bad looking either. LOL! My friend and I would hang out in her room, talking about sports, and boys. But on occasion her brother would let us all hang out in his room, which we thought was “totally cool”. Us two girls, hanging out with all of these cute guys that most of the girls in there school were after. Ha! We were so lucky. LOL!

One of the guys that came over constantly was a guy that we knew through CCD and Church as well. He was also a football player, and he was a huge flirt. To other girls, at least. To us, he was such an ass! LOL! He would tease us and make fun of us for not even attempting to look girly. He’d tell us that we were still “little girls”, not “women” so what did we know? Like he had a clue what the difference was either. I always seemed to get the worst of the teasing too. I felt like he only came around to make me feel bad about myself. But over time I got better at comebacks, and then I turned 15.

Everything happens so fast and all at once when you’re a young teenager. Everything is so much bigger to you than it really is. Well, at one point I started dressing up a bit more, and attending dances with my friends. This is when that guy, first started speaking to me. Nicely. I don’t know what changed? Maybe it was my cleavage finally making it’s appearance? Before, I always hated that I had bigger boobs than everyone else, so I would wear sports bras to keep them suckers strapped down! He was always coming over when I was at my friend’s house, even when her brother wasn’t there. He attended a lot of the same dances as I did, and all of a sudden he was asking me (and only me) to dance. Still being his cocky self, he would always make sure to state that he “Only danced with me because I was the only girl there that really knew how to dance to a cumbia or ranchera.” Right. Now, even though his teasing lessened it didn’t completely go away.

However, he totally won me over. I have no idea HOW it happened, but all of a sudden I was totally crushing on him. Cocky attitude and all. But, he had a girlfriend. Actually, he had two. One here, and one in Mexico. Sure did know how to pick ’em huh? Well, even if I had decided to pursue him, my crush was cut short. Not long after all of this “nice attention” started, he was in a really bad car accident. He spent a week in ICU, and when he started recovering, the doctor’s said that his brain had suffered quite a bit of damage. He had to go through a lot of physical therapy and speech therapy. At times he forgot who certain people were, and the doctor’s said that his mind set wasn’t exactly where it had been before. Pretty much meaning that mentally, he was set back a few years.

A lot of his old friends ditched him after that. Both girlfriends broke up with him. I still got to see him every once in awhile but he was completely different. He was very child like and very sweet. A few years passed, and he called me up out of the blue asking me if I’d like to take him out to see a movie. LOL! We went to eat at Chicken E before seeing a movie and I remember asking him if he remembered anything from before the accident. All he said was that everything was very fuzzy, but that he remembered me. I was pretty.

It broke my heart to see him like that. Here was this guy who had a whole future ahead of him, and it was all taken away because of a reckless driver. I kept a bit of a distance, because after that one outing, he started asking me if I would be his girlfriend. When I told him, no but that we could be friends. He kept asking "Why?" And how was I suppose to answer that? Then, I moved away. When I came back to Texas, I ran into him and his parents at the theater, and that was the last time I actually saw him. He texted me a few times asking if I’d go out with him or if I’d be his girlfriend. It's like he picked up right where we left off, before I moved. I would always so no, but that we could be friends. Then, the texting just stopped. I always feel so shitty for that. I feel like I should have handled it differently. Sometimes I wonder how he’s doing? If he’ll ever really get better? And the other day when I saw that guy at McDonald’s, I wished it had been him. Just so I could say hi. 




p.s. Sorry this doesn't contain pictures!
If I can find physical photo's I'll post them later.
Seeing as how all of my other ones are gone forever,
I'll have to dig a bit in old albums to see if I can find any. 

Flashback Friday - Summer Time

Friday, May 20, 2011

May 2007.

I was getting ready to make a big move. To California. I was so in love and heartbroken all at the same time. I was terrified and excited because I had never lived away from my parents. I was so ready, and yet so unprepared.

That day, which I can’t even remember the exact date that I left (I'm sure it's written down in one of my journals), but it was one of the best days of my life. I traveled across New Mexico, Arizona, and finally California. My family came with me because they knew we’d get lost, or run into some car trouble (which we did), and none of us knew ANYTHING about how to fix it or read a map correctly. LOL! I remember seeing the California sign as we crossed the state lines. I remember the mountains, the winding road, and the sun getting ready to go down. My brother was driving, Kim was in the passengers seat and I was in the back so giddy and excited. I can remember my stomach doing summer saults. My brother put in this song:



And that was my grand entrance into California. A few days later my parents were getting ready to leave, and I was crying. We all were crying actually. Even my dad and my brother. :-) I remember seeing them leave and feeling so alone, so uncertain, and yet so independent. I think I cried for them for at least a good month. But, my time in California was really and truly amazing. I learned a lot and I had a lot of fun out there! The good times, the bad times, and the worst of times were all completely worth it. I fell in love with it.

Fallbrook, Ca 2007- My Boyfriend (now husband) and I

I sometimes question myself on why I pushed for us to come back. But mainly, I question myself on whether I will ever get to go back. I wish that we could go back one day. With all of my heart, I wish we could. Unfortunately, there is really nothing financially smart about us going back. Here at least we both have jobs. We are lucky to have a sitter that loves our daughter and refuses to take any more than $70 (which I had to force) a week. We have financial support if we need it. And despite things being a little crazy, sometimes a bit miserable, we’re getting by. We’re doing ok. I know several people out there that aren’t as lucky. And they keep saying it's only going to get worse.

I really want to go visit soon. If we can’t ever move back out there, then I at least want to take vacations out there. I almost bought tickets last week (they were $260 round trip-nonstop flight!) but then our “Check Engine” light came on, so we have to wait and see what that problem is before making any big spending decision. Plus, it would probably deplete our savings account. Which would mean something bad would happen, just because. Still, I really wish we could have gone. 

What fun that would have been...