A while back I was talking to my sister-in-law about how alone I had been feeling lately. And I don’t mean this in the sense of not having a partner anymore either. Well, it’s not just about that. I’m talking more along the lines of having someone you can talk to about the recent book you read or show you've watched. Someone that helps you out when you need it. Someone who’s totally okay with 3 AM text messages when you can’t sleep. Someone who’s willing to sit there and listen to you as you work out your problems out loud. Not so much to give their opinion, but instead just to be there so that you know someone hears you. And maybe, sometimes, when you get a little emotional over your recent divorce they’re there to say, “Fuck them for hurting you.” So basically, a friend in every sense of the word. Because sometimes that’s all you need. It’s not about having a romantic relationship or trying to hook up with someone either. Now even though I have a handful of really great friends, the closest one has always been an hour and a half away. And the way I feel about making new friends is exactly the same as how some people feel when it comes to where they should place their hands while posing for pictures. It’s awkward, and I just don’t know what to do. But imagine the laugh I let out when my sister-in-law suggested that I should think about striking up a friendship with that one dude who’s already in my life part-time (ish).
First, I’d like to just point out that other than my brother and sister-in-law, Dude and I have very little in common. I’m older, with a lot of responsibilities, and usually preoccupied with my daughter. His only responsibilities are keeping his dog alive and showing up to work on time. I enjoy watching all kinds of movies and shows. He’s not a fan of TV, and proudly states that he lives under a rock when it comes to not knowing about anything current. I decided a while back that I didn’t really want to consume alcohol anymore, and it’s rare for me to have a drink. In his case, it would be rare to see him without an alcoholic drink. And in the times that we’ve all hung out together he and I never really talk to each other. It’s always been us taking part in group conversations. So, in my eyes, he’s their friend; not mine. I laughed off her suggestion and thought she was ridiculous for even bringing it up. But then, fast forward a week later and I’m basically desperate to talk to anyone. I’m feeling really anxious, I’ve been tossing and turning for hours, and it’s a little after 1AM. I started scrolling through my contacts wondering who else could possibly be up at 1AM on a weekday. And that’s when the realization hit that the only person I knew, who would be up that late, was Dude. Before I continue I'd like to take this time to just say that I'm really proud of myself for holding out for a good forty minutes that morning. However, when I saw the clock read 2AM, desperation won out. I quickly typed up a text and closed my eyes as I hit the send button. As soon as I heard the little “ting” signaling his response I immediately regretted my decision. “Oh, fuck. Here we go,” I thought as I let out a sigh before raising the phone up to see his response.
Now, let me just give you a brief history on Dude and I. We’ve never really gotten along. There’s usually name calling, and threats of inflicting bodily harm involved. I’ve even gone as far as to throw physical objects at him. Trust me, with his mouth, you wouldn’t be above that either. He’s probably one of the last people I could have ever seen myself being real friends with if I’m being honest. We’d kill each other. But you know what? Color me fucking surprised. Because now, Dude is my semi-friend (he’s begrudgingly accepting this label). That night, when I picked up my phone, Dude was actually nice and sympathetic towards what I was going through. He even went as far as playing 21 questions with me until I fell asleep. Then one afternoon he came over and watched "Peaky Blinders" with me while I waited for Emery to come back home. I mean, we spent the entire time arguing over the episodes and the character’s actions. There may or may not have been a shoe thrown. But the time flew by and before I knew it Emery was back. That same evening is when he mentioned that he prefers to read books over watching TV. So we agreed to read each other’s favorite books and then later plan on getting together to discuss them. When I handed over “It Ends With Us” by Colleen Hoover he looked at me in confusion as he said, “This is...umm...REALLY pink.” I smiled smugly as he shook his head and walked to his truck. As of this posting, he’s made it through the first chapter safely. Then a few days ago, when he stopped by to drop off his book, it was his turn to smile smugly. Because of course, his favorite book is written entirely in Spanish. Challenge accepted. And finally, when I needed help with my flower beds he came over and accepted Taco Bell as payment for his gardening services. So, it's been nice having these challenges that we dish out to help keep me preoccupied.
Overall, it’s been interesting getting to know him a bit better. Obviously, we’re really different, with different upbringings, and in completely different seasons in life. And yet, there’s still a lot that we can agree on. Thankfully, our dynamic has remained the same which I'm really happy about. At first, I thought it would be awkward for some reason? But the only real change is that we can actually get along now. You better believe I'm still gonna throw something at him when he says some stupid shit though. So, I guess, I should give credit where credit is due, right? And since I know he’ll never read this I’m gonna go ahead with expressing my thanks.
So, thanks, Ramon. Thanks for taking pity on this “old lady”. Still not 35 though. Thanks for answering my random ass questions at 2 AM. And the second round at 3 AM. Thanks for showing me the correct way to plant my plants. For not laughing too loudly when I jumped at the twig I thought was a snake. Thanks for allowing me to bounce ideas off of you, no matter how crazy they may be. Your facial expressions sometimes say otherwise but at least you don't verbalize those thoughts. Thanks for allowing me to lean on you after a really rough day. I know how much you hate being touched so you were a real trooper that afternoon. But most importantly, thanks for allowing me to call you my “semi-friend”. Though I’m sure by the end of the year we’ll be BFF’s and braiding each other’s hair. Anyway, life has been a little rocky for me lately, and you’ve been kind enough to help me stay busy. To not feel so alone in this tiny little town. So, thank you. Again. It’s really and truly appreciated.
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