Lately, I've had a lot on my mind. None of it do I really want to discuss with anyone because I haven't exactly pinpointed what it's all really about. Why exactly I'm feeling a certain way? Why am I hesitating? What are my emotions really attached to? It seems like every few months I hit these low points. I've read that people go through them all of the time, and it's normal. But one thing my counselor always told me was that I'm the kind of person who, more often than not, has her emotions tied in with someone/thing else. I have a hard time separating, and distancing myself. My feelings usually lead the way, and that's not a very good way to go about living because it causes this state of constant up and down. So, when I feel myself starting to get into these moods I'm suppose to force myself to take a step back. To figure out what my triggers are THIS time around. And I have to be extra observant of what I'm doing, as well as why I'm doing it. If I don't, I end up in this long period of depression. At least, that's my theory anyway. Based on my history. So as soon as I start to make some progress on that front I'll definitely let y'all in on what's been on my mind.
Moving along, Spring is finally here in my little Texas town. Now, a friend of mine pointed out that "Spring started like 2-3 weeks ago." BUT, I say it didn't count. Just last week (and the week before) we had nights where the temperature dropped down to 38 degrees, and our heaters had to be turned on. So no. That doesn't count. This passed weekend, and so far this week it's been about 52-55 at night. A nice, breezy, 75-80 during the day with some occasional rainstorms. THAT my friends, is Spring. So, now that this "issue" has been cleared up, let me just say that we've been enjoying the start of this season. We've gotten our hands in the dirt, started clearing up the flower beds, purchased new potting mix for our planters, and busted out the bicycles. At the recent school book fair the little asked if we could buy this Big View Bug Jar, and it's the best $6.99+ tax I have ever spent. Almost every afternoon she takes her jar outside, and starts collecting bugs. Once she's done with her inspections, and questions she releases them back where she found them. So far she's gotten: an earth worm, a caterpillar, two snails, three grub worms, a moth, a butterfly, and a few ants. It's been really cool to see her show interest in bugs, rocks, and the weather. I might have a little scientist on my hands. Her tia will be thrilled. We've also officially started to teach her how to ride her bike without training wheels. I know, I know. I'm a little late to the game. But this is the first year she actually showed any interest in riding her bike for longer than 5 minutes. So, we're going for it. She's a little nervous, and a little excited. Fingers crossed we make it through!
On the weight loss front, I won't lie, I've actually gained some weight. I'm not happy about it, but it is what it is. The only thing I can do is start cutting out all of the junk food, and hitting the gym a bit harder. Some people say nice things like: "It's just the stress." or "It's just water weight." But I'm over here thinking it's the damn pizza, french fries, and junk food that my workplace keeps for snacks that I can't seem to say no to that's doing me in. I'm seriously eating mini Keebler cookies while typing this right now. Stress has played a role, I won't deny that, but my self control when it comes to "stress eating" has been nonexistent. And that's the main issue. Again, there are some things going on in my life right now that cause my anxiety/stress to kick in, but basically it all comes down to me eating my feelings. I clearly need to get a handle on that. Otherwise I'm just going to continue to gain weight. And that's not something I want. So as of now, this lady's "ready for summer" body just isn't in the cards this year. Maybe next year? Look out summer 2018, I'm coming for ya.
Anywho, that about wraps up this post. I hope everyone's had a lovely Tuesday, wherever you are! The news has been pretty crappy lately, and it's actually brought me down even more than usual. So much tragedy, and I have no idea why this shit even happens. My faith in humanity is dimming with each passing day. But that's a topic for another day, huh? Until the next post! ⚓
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