Wordless Wednesday

Better Boundaries

If I’m being honest, I was never really good at establishing boundaries or enforcing them. If you read back far enough on this blog, during my first marriage, it’s very apparent. While I would consider myself a strong person who got through some pretty rough times, I often wonder if outcomes would have been different had I enforced boundaries. Would I be different too? And well, I try not to get lost in that train of thinking because it’s in the past - there’s no going back there. But, sometimes I do wonder, what if?

Now, since my divorce and remarriage, I feel that I have gotten better at establishing boundaries. However, I do still find myself letting people push past them. Or, sometimes, even completely disregard them. And after my last little emotional breakdown, due to someone completely disregarding a boundary that I had verbally set, repeatedly. I decided that this needed to stop. So, the subject of boundaries is at the forefront of my mind these days.

I started reading the Boundaries series by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. And when I say read, I mean listening to the audiobook version on my way to and from work. It’s been pretty insightful. And sometimes, it feels like I’m being called out. In a good way. I’ll pause the book to let some of the information sink in. Sometimes, I’ll deny my guilt before the realization that I am actually guilty of the action or inaction being talked about hits me. Other times, I can smile with pride knowing that I've actually been implementing something correctly. It’s been eye-opening, to say the least.

So, the lesson I’m learning, is that I have no one to blame but myself. I am responsible for myself, my feelings, and my reactions. And no one can fix the issues but me. Whether that means speaking up more often or following through with consequences after people repeatedly disregard my boundaries. It’s all up to me. Now it can get difficult when dealing with family - your own or the one you married into. It can also be difficult to have boundaries with your partner, spouse, or even your children. And honestly, boundaries won’t all look the same for everyone. For example, my boundaries with my husband will be different from those I have with my daughter. And those will look completely different from the ones I establish with in-laws. But they are still important to have to create healthy, strong, and loving relationships.

I'll try to write a more in-depth post once I've finished this book.  For now, I look forward to learning more about boundaries. I’ve talked about them before, and I’ve loosely applied certain principles. However, life lately has been a bit of a rollercoaster, and I’m really interested in learning how to cultivate and maintain healthy boundaries with everyone in my life. Not just for my benefit, but their’s as well.

In Pursuit of Wellness // June 2024

A lot has changed since the last time I wrote about my wellness journey. I had a little health scare. I had to switch up supplements. I was benched from running for a whole month. And then switched up my diet plan. So, it’s been an interesting few months, to say the least.

Current Weight (CW): 186.6 lbs

Favorite Food: Cold Tomatoes with salt. This has been my go-to snack. I take two tomatoes, slice them up, and then sprinkle them with salt. Things in Texas are hot and humid right now. So, on most days when I want something cold and refreshing, this does the trick.

Movement: Running! I was given the green light to start running again. Though, I have to slowly build up my mileage. Currently, I’m doing 1.5 miles. After this week I can up it to 2.5 miles. I tried doing other exercises while I was benched, but they just did not make me feel the same. I’m sure it’s all mental, but I’m just super happy to be out on the roads/trails again!

Quick Journal: My diet has not been great. And I’ve had some stressors in my life lately that I’m trying to manage. So, not only has my stress gone up but I've also had a touch of depression and anxiety. I've been able to manage this by getting outside and listening to ASMR. I believe this has helped so I feel okay about where I'm at both physically and mentally. My next step will be to cut dairy products out again and then go back to limiting added sugar. I'm hoping this will help me feel much better. 

Overall, things are going well. While I’ve gained weight, there’s a reason for it, and I plan on taking the steps necessary to maintain a healthy weight for where I'm at this season. That said, after just one week of being able to run the scale has shown that I’ve slowed the weight gain. Now, the diet change won’t happen overnight, but I’m feeling positive. Also, I do plan on incorporating some strength training going forward. I’m trying to get a schedule worked out for that, and here’s hoping I can start next week.