I remember right after I had my daughter how often people would tell me about all of the misery that comes with having a newborn. The usual: lack of sleep, lots of crying, and how you feel so helpless when something is wrong but they can't tell you what it is yet so there's no fixing it right away. Then it quickly moved on to "Oh, you just wait until the terrible twos! You'll have your hands full for sure." That was followed by the terrifying threes, and horrible fours. It seemed like no matter what I was bound to go through a super scary phase in my kid's life. And yet, I never saw it. No, wait. Scratch that. I did see a tiny glimpse of it here and there, but I remember getting out of those stages thinking "That was it? Really?" I was always grateful and pretty excited to have "made it" through those years without too many incidents. Everywhere we went there would be compliments over how well behaved our daughter was, and how polite she was towards others. I figured we were doing something right, at the very least. But you guys, NONE of those stages above compare to the fives. The fives have caused me to swear off having any more kids (kind of...maybe...more than likely). The fives have caused me to lock myself in the bathroom in order to have a good cry because I just snapped at her for yelling at me and now she's crying and telling me that I don't love her, and...and...and....really?
It's been pretty rough. She just turned five too. There's been nonstop crying, tantrums, and back talking. Her selective hearing has increased to "not listening unless it involves buying me things". Sure she's still sweet, kind, polite, and for all intents and purposes acts the way we'd like her to in public. However, the real war is at home. The real battles go down when asked to wear jeans instead of leggings. Or when asked that she pick up her toys, or turn off her tablet. You can almost hear the battle cry rumbling when she's told to find her shoes, or when told that she will be staying at the babysitters. That last one is a recent development. It seems like she fights me on EVERYTHING. There have been times I've thought about giving her some benadryl in hopes that it would knock her out long enough for me to catch a break. I repeat, I THOUGHT, not actually done. Don't act like it hasn't crossed your mind once or twice either. The only reprieve I seem to get is when she sleeps or when we're in the car (because she knows we're going somewhere). And lately, it's been very...very trying.
Here's what I'm finally learning though: these little people that we are raising have their own personalities. They have their own minds, and some days are going to be hard because they want to push every damn button in you that they can find. It's just like meeting someone new in your everyday life. There are some people that will encourage you, irritate you, challenge you, or even just flat out hate you. There will be some that you feel are soulmates, and others that you can handle only in small doses. You won't always agree, and you'll probably question them or their decisions more than once. All of this happens because in the end they are not you. This applies to our children as well. They are growing, and no matter how many times someone says "Oh, he/she's exactly like you!" they never really are. It would be super creepy and weird if they were. The reality of that hit home so hard this past weekend, and I know now that as my little girl is becoming more aware of herself and others around her she's going to be testing our boundaries a lot more frequently. And that's just life. We just have to make sure that as she's testing out our limits we not let her walk all over us because that can't lead to anything good, and I refuse to raise a spoiled brat.
So, my husband and I have realized that some changes will have to be made on our part because our form of discipline will be a constantly evolving thing. Some forms that worked when she was two will not now that she's five. It's not just the terrible two's or frightening fives, this is going to be a constant process. As she discovers who she is, and who we are as her parents there will always be this push and pull effect between us. Some years will be harder than others, and I'm sure I'll question everything that I do. My mother told me that she still questions her actions and advice that she gives to us, and my brother and I are both in our 20's. So this is definitely a learn-as-you-go process, and it's finally hitting me that this is going to be as tough as it is rewarding. Raising a human being isn't easy and I don't think it was meant to be. It's meant to make you a better person as well as to challenge you for the rest of your life. There is no greater joy than knowing you raised a wonderful human being, and it wouldn't be the same if it didn't change you or require you to work for it. So here's to the "terrible whatever age comes next" because this is one of the many things that being a parent is all about and I'm ready. I've got this! I might need some xanax when this is all over with, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. :)
Here's what I'm finally learning though: these little people that we are raising have their own personalities. They have their own minds, and some days are going to be hard because they want to push every damn button in you that they can find. It's just like meeting someone new in your everyday life. There are some people that will encourage you, irritate you, challenge you, or even just flat out hate you. There will be some that you feel are soulmates, and others that you can handle only in small doses. You won't always agree, and you'll probably question them or their decisions more than once. All of this happens because in the end they are not you. This applies to our children as well. They are growing, and no matter how many times someone says "Oh, he/she's exactly like you!" they never really are. It would be super creepy and weird if they were. The reality of that hit home so hard this past weekend, and I know now that as my little girl is becoming more aware of herself and others around her she's going to be testing our boundaries a lot more frequently. And that's just life. We just have to make sure that as she's testing out our limits we not let her walk all over us because that can't lead to anything good, and I refuse to raise a spoiled brat.
So, my husband and I have realized that some changes will have to be made on our part because our form of discipline will be a constantly evolving thing. Some forms that worked when she was two will not now that she's five. It's not just the terrible two's or frightening fives, this is going to be a constant process. As she discovers who she is, and who we are as her parents there will always be this push and pull effect between us. Some years will be harder than others, and I'm sure I'll question everything that I do. My mother told me that she still questions her actions and advice that she gives to us, and my brother and I are both in our 20's. So this is definitely a learn-as-you-go process, and it's finally hitting me that this is going to be as tough as it is rewarding. Raising a human being isn't easy and I don't think it was meant to be. It's meant to make you a better person as well as to challenge you for the rest of your life. There is no greater joy than knowing you raised a wonderful human being, and it wouldn't be the same if it didn't change you or require you to work for it. So here's to the "terrible whatever age comes next" because this is one of the many things that being a parent is all about and I'm ready. I've got this! I might need some xanax when this is all over with, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. :)
