Wordless Wednesday

Ending the first day of high school w/frozen yogurt. ❤

Pregnancy // Why We Wanted Privacy

📷: Credit

“Why are you hiding your pregnancy?” “Why are you not announcing it?” “Aren’t you happy about this baby? Why won't you tell anyone?” These are just a few questions that have been asked. As I wrote in my last post, we requested privacy but it didn’t go as planned. Today, I wanted to shed some light on our reasons for this request. But first, let me say that we are NOT ashamed of this pregnancy. Nor are we disappointed. If you’ve been here for a while you know that a baby is something we have wanted for a few years now. We’ve prayed and begged for this blessing. So, we are beyond thrilled and excited for this new addition. And behind closed doors, we celebrate this little gift that God has sent us. Our desire for privacy and the decision to not disclose the news of my pregnancy for as long as possible came from a different place entirely.

Pregnancy // What’s Best for Us

Corey and I desired privacy about our pregnancy for as long as we could have it. We had our reasons, which I’ll go over in another post, but we agreed to share the news when we both felt ready. In the meantime, the plan was to inform our immediate family after we hit 12 weeks. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen and we ended up telling our parents and siblings much earlier. We asked that everyone keep this information private until we felt it was okay for extended family to know. While most of our family was respectful of this, our news was disclosed to several people (including strangers outside of our family) when I was 12 weeks along. This left me feeling angry, and upset. And it caused some family conflict.

Now, I know that pregnancy hormones heavily influenced my initial reaction. However, I still believe I had a valid reason to be upset. From one day to the next, it was as if our news was no longer ours to share. Instead of having ample time to process upcoming changes, it felt like we were now doing things on someone else’s timeline. This person was sharing our news while we were still trying to find answers for certain things that were happening with my body, and while we were waiting on results for our testing. To top it off, I had also been experiencing some depression due to the drastic hormone changes. This does happen to some women, especially those who have a history of depression. So, not only was I dealing with pregnancy symptoms, and my mental health, but I was also having to deal with our news being disclosed before we were ready for others to know about it. This added stress caused me to experience a good amount of anxiety for a few weeks. I stayed at home a lot. I wore compression wear anytime I went out. And if the subject of pregnancy was brought up, I would either talk around it or straight up deny being pregnant if it was asked.

Thankfully, I limited communication with the person I felt had betrayed our trust. Even if just temporarily. That break allowed me to focus on myself, my mental health, and the information that I was receiving at my appointments. I was able to rest and prioritize movement. I also focused on my home and my family. Stepping away also allowed me to avoid stressful situations with this person I didn’t feel I was ready to handle. Most importantly, I took this time to let go. I spent a lot of time praying for guidance and help to move on from what was being done. Because, in the end, I can’t stop people from going against our wishes. I can’t stop people from disregarding our requests. However, I can set boundaries and limit communication with them. I can control how I react to them, and the information I give them. And I can limit the amount of time they spend with me or my family. People don’t have to like this, and I’m sure some will think I’m being dramatic. But I intend to make decisions based on what’s best for my family, this baby, and myself.

📷: Credit