Wordless Wednesday

The Calm Before Thanksgiving

I had told my daughter, weeks before this past Thanksgiving, that I would take time off in order to take her hiking again during her holiday break. As luck would have it I was able to get the Monday before Thanksgiving off which gave me a nice three day weekend. I had planned to take her out for two days so we could explore the closest state park a bit more than we had during previous visits. Only, that Friday is when everything happened, and our weekend was thrown into a bit of chaos. 

However we were able to salvage some of the plans. We were able to invite two of my daughters friends along for a day trip. That Monday, my friend dropped off her daughters early in the morning, and we headed off to explore. We didn't focus on what was going on in our life at the time. Instead they all ran around, and climbed through trees. They played in the water, and were able to see dinosaur footprints. As we hiked the trails they talked about the flowers, the fish, and the animals. They giggled over chips, brownies, and water. I heard them talking about school, and how much fun they were having on break. After a few hours we made it up to the "peak", and sat at the edge over looking the whole park. They talked about how little everything seemed, and how big the trees were. They talked about how cool it would have been to see dinosaurs in real life. When we finally headed back down to our car it was well after 2 pm, and all they could talk about was food. We had a late lunch at Burger King per their requests. Read demands. And once our bellies were full we started the drive back home. They made it about thirty minutes before they all fell asleep in the back seat. Content. 

And do you know what was so amazing? That even though my daughter, and I were going through something that was unpleasant we were able to have a good time. My daughter laughed, and smiled. She enjoyed skipping up a hill, hand-in-hand, with her two best friends. They were all so happy just being little kids. Running around outdoors. There was still so much more for them to explore they explained. It was a wonderful day for all three of them. They still talk about it, months later, and ask me if I'll take them again soon. Overall, it was a wonderful day. One that I look back on, and see the silver lining of what we went through. I can still hear the giggles, and the splashes. And I remember the big hug that I received from my little as she proclaimed "Mom, you're the best! Thank you for letting the girls come spend the day with us!" It made me feel happy. It made me feel like no matter what happened next everything was going to be okay. There was a moment on that drive home when I looked at all three of them sleeping,  leaning on each other, and I knew that my daughter and I were going to be okay. That we would be able to get through this because we had so many good people in our lives. And that day was exactly what I needed to feel some peace. To feel some calm that I wasn't quite sure I needed until that very moment. 

Happy 2018

Well, another year has come and gone, y'all. I feel like that went by pretty fast. Then again, it also felt like it was never ending. If that makes any sense? There were some "not-so-great" moments that felt like they were getting the best of me there at the end. However, there was still a lot of good that happened last year too. I feel like it was a time of learning for me. Learning how to stand up for myself. Learning my limits. Learning to trust my gut. And learning to let go of my own fantasy of what I thought my life should be like. Letting go of unrealistic expectations.

I feel like I've been shedding a lot of the old since way back in October. That's around the time that things started shifting for me, mentally. So, going into this brand new year I really want to spend more time doing things, and seeing new places. I want to be a bit more selfish in regards to my needs. I feel like it's important for me to figure out who I am apart from all of the other roles that I've taken on. And in order to do that I need to learn more about myself. I need to start cutting out a lot of of negativity (for real this time) in my life too. And I’d also like to make it a priority to do more of what makes me happy. So those are just a few goals I have I’m mind going forward.

With all of that said, I'm hoping to blog a bit more often this year too. I know, I know. But hear me out! Back at the end of October I had to turn off our internet because it wasn't something I could afford anymore. One day I had to decide if the money I had was going to be used for food for my family, or internet services. And well, internet service didn't even stand a chance. The following day I had it turned off. So that's why I wasn't posting. It wasn't pleasant being without internet, but then any time I would start to complain I would scold myself for even thinking that it was something I couldn't live without. It was a bit rough though, I won't lie. However, after getting rid of a few other expenses, and thanks to a nice little bonus from work I was finally able to get it turned back on. So, I hope this means I’ll be able to make more time for writing.

So cheers, y’all! Happy New Year! I know I’m a little late. May it be one of the best ones yet.