It's November. IT'S. FREAKIN'. NOVEMBER. When the hell did this happen? We're about to close out 2019 and I honestly feel like my progress this year was very minimal. I stayed stuck for a long time. I closed myself off to a lot of things. And now that the year is coming to an end I kind of feel like, overall, everything is a jumbled mess. I'm trying to make up for all of the lost time even when I know it's impossible. When I know that it's probably for the best that I just slow down instead. But that's just not in my nature, unfortunately.
I've gone back and edited several of my drafts, so you'll see several of those going up within this month. They're not the greatest, but just know they were coming from a pretty raw place. And I've edited them to a point where I'm comfortable with the information that I'm sharing. Also, I have an extremely generous friend in my life that recently gifted me a Canon camera which has been soo fun to use! The pictures come out so beautifully detailed and I'll definitely be throwing up some of those photos soon. I currently work on a Chromebook, which if you know anything about them then you know my struggle right now: minimal storage space; horrible editing software. So, the editing processes has been a pain in the ass and extremely slow. BUT I'm grateful for what I have. Just know that this is why it may take me a little bit more time to get things edited, but it's worth it to me in the end.
Creatively, I feel a bit burnt out. I have a lot going on in my life right now and the stress has been at an all-time high which totally zaps me by the end of the day. I feel drained with little to no motivation. I finally got myself a little writing desk in order to have my own little writing space in my home. However, sitting down to let it all pour out of me has been the hard part. I struggle with oversharing and shooting from the hip. Unfiltered and emotional. I usually give myself days, if not weeks, to decide whether I want to put a post out there into the universe. Because...once it's out there...you can't take it back. I've struggled with this a lot lately. There's such a fine line when it comes to privacy and telling my story. Especially when I'm only telling one side. It can often be hard for me to tell what the boundaries are which can make things..interesting. And recently Em asked why I didn't share more of her: her stories, her pictures, & her face. And the best answer I could come up with was that privacy was something we wanted to keep for as long as possible. And that statement is something that's been weighing on my mind lately.
All of this to say that I have a plan. Sort of. I know that I need to get back on track with setting time aside for my writing. For December, I'm thinking of doing another "social media detox" as that normally helps me with getting myself balanced. It forces me to get outside, to pay attention more, and it allows me to write about things in a clearer way. I tend to read more books and take on more DIY home projects too. And it usually helps get rid of all the extra noise which is a good thing. Something I feel I need more of as each day goes by. So, there's a plan in the works, y'all. A plan to get my focus back on what I want, especially with the new year fast approaching. And here's to getting my ass into gear, yea? To a great, and hopefully slowish, November for us all.
