$#%^&*!@#%$&^

This is depressing. But if I don’t post it, I won’t look at it.

Recently, I’ve been going through old photographs, which in turn get me all down and depressed. Then I eat, and then I get mad at myself for eating so much junk! It’s a vicious cycle, my friends. VICIOUS! As you all know by now, weight is a huge issue for me. It’s one I struggle with constantly, and right now I’m on the losing end of the battle.

Things have been pretty busy, and I find myself not having time, or being too sick. Sometimes I get home late and all I want to do is crawl into bed. Then the weekend gets here and I’m trying to clean up the “house”, and catch up on all of the other chores left behind from the previous week. It seems like before I can even blink, Monday has already come around again! Finding time to work out or even prepare meals in advance has not been happening for me. It’s also been easier for me to go and get fast food for our meals, then plan ahead. And this really brings me down. I want to be healthy again, and I really really want my old body back! It depresses me so bad to see how much I’ve let myself go. But it’s so hard.

I miss not having to do anything besides run two miles a day to keep my figure. I miss being able to fit into a size small shirts, and my size 8 jeans. I’m so tired of seeing my rolls go over my jeans. I am so tired of my arm fat dangling. And I am so tired of seeing the person I swore to never become staring back at me in the mirror.

A pudgy, crabby, mess.

Because being overweight affects me in more than one way than my looks. 

Then

2006- Me and a friend at a party/130lbs (size 8 jeans)

Now

2011- Me with my friends at a party/ 185lbs (size 15 jeans)

See what I mean?