Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do after I graduate next summer. God willing. Will we stay here in our not-so-little-anymore town? Will we move away? I know realistically I can't plan that far ahead because it's not in my hands. That doesn’t mean I can’t have ideas or goals though. Something to hope for. To pray on. But lately - I haven’t been very certain about what I want in terms of where I’d like for us to live. Or whether I’ll be staying at my current place of employment. I make a decent amount, and the office is very close to our home and my daughter’s school. We have a very laid-back atmosphere, some good benefits, and are allowed flexibility when needing time off. On paper, and most days, it’s a great place to work!
However, in the past few years, we’ve undergone quite a few changes, and I’m not exactly sure if it’s always been for the better. I understand that we're growing and that’s such a blessing - especially when so many companies had to close their doors when the pandemic hit. So, growing pains will be a natural side-effect, and regardless of those pains, I'm always thankful for having my job. I’m grateful to my boss for everything he's done for all of us. And if I’m being honest, it’s difficult to see myself working anywhere else. However, there are a lot of times when my mental health is put through the wringer, and I’m not sure that’s something that I can just brush aside.
Back in 2019, after 9 years in sales, I decided to move into a new role because I wanted less stress. I wanted a better work/life balance. And I really wanted to explore some of the “servant leadership” qualities I felt that I possessed. After months of juggling, I finally made the transition to Administrative Assistant that January of 2020. But I quickly found that even though I had that title it would not be what I would do. You see, while we have job titles, we do not have defined tasks/duties for each of them. This allows workers to dip their hands into a lot of different pots. Often you’ll find that my assistant duties get taken on by someone else, and other tasks are delegated to me. My current duties are more along the lines of an accounting clerk/assistant. I also have co-workers that take on responsibilities that have nothing to do with their actual jobs. Throw into the mix that some people have privileges that are not an option for others, or when information that is best kept private gets thrown out for everyone to know. Then there are the personal attacks/gossip that quickly get spread around. The target shifts from person to person monthly it seems. And when it comes to errors or mistakes some workers will spend hours looking for a person to blame rather than taking a few minutes to fix the issue. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Now, I totally understand the need to find where the mistakes happen to avoid or correct them in the future, but I don’t understand the witch hunt that ensues. This is why I think it’s an accurate assessment that sometimes my workplace can have a toxic environment.
A little over a year ago I wrote about some of the work issues I was facing and you can read about that here. Shortly after publishing that post, I applied to our local university and was accepted. I’m currently going to school to earn my Bachelor's degree in General Business with a Minor in Management. That minor is a fairly recent development. And it makes me wonder what doors that degree might be able to open. I really want to help others. I want to feel like I’m part of a team that wants you to succeed. Not one that enjoys pushing you down. I want to be able to hone my skills and enjoy the work that I do. I want to feel content when I walk into my workplace. And that just hasn't been happening lately.
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