About halfway through 2021, I was feeling very - meh. You know that feeling you get when you’re just going through the motions of your daily life? Or when you realize it’s been too long since you’ve actually tried to accomplish something? Don’t get me wrong - life was/is good. I just felt like I didn’t have anything for myself. My daughter is getting older and she has more of a social life than I do. Corey has kayak fishing and he’s gone two weekends out of each month during the tournament season. And me? My routine consisted of work, school, cleaning, and studying. Wash, rinse, repeat.
One evening, right before my birthday last year, while we were getting ready for bed I remember that I was complaining about something stress related to Corey. I was tossing the pillows and sighing out in frustration when he asked me, “What is it that you like to do? What do you enjoy doing for yourself? Emery and I have our hobbies, what’s yours?” And I couldn’t think of a single thing. My response was, “I don’t have anything. I’m a mom and a partner. I feel like I sacrifice for you two to have your things.” He stood there quietly for a moment and then said, “Find something and make the time. Emery and I will adjust. You need something for yourself.”
The following day, after trying to think of ideas for hobbies, I decided to go for a run. That used to always help me think and clear my head. So, I dusted off my running shoes, and out the door, I went. The ideas didn’t come but my lungs burned. Two days later I went out for another run. Again, no idea what hobby I should try, but my legs felt like jello. Since my method for gaining some ideas wasn’t working I stopped. But a week later I saw my running shoes next to the bed and threw them on. When I got back home Corey was smiling and asked, “Find your hobby?” I grumbled. Waved him off as I tried to breathe and make my way to the shower.
Running was something I enjoyed in high school. Nothing long distance though. Then after I had Emery I turned back to it to help me lose a bit of weight. And over the years I’ve turned back to running - off/on - for its positive mental health benefits. It’s never been something that I stuck with for long though. But what if I did? What if I found a running partner? What if running became my hobby? Well that night, again as we got ready for bed, I searched Facebook to see if there were any local running clubs. Two popped up, but one hadn’t had any activity for a while. The other club had just under 300 members and that seemed intimidating. “Here goes nothing.” I requested to join the club and went to bed. The following day I received a message from the admin and shortly after I was accepted!
Running and I had a rocky start this time around. Most days I’d ask myself if I really wanted to start this up again. Could this really be my hobby? Could running really be my thing? Cardio was not my friend weight loss-wise anymore. It tends to do the opposite. My schedule was pretty packed so realistically would I have the time? Then I saw that the runners in the club were doing some major distances. The feed was peppered with posts that contained “13 easy miles” or “8-minute mile paces”. They were getting up between 4 - 5 am to run. Some were training for half and full marathons. Spartan races and Ironmans. Most of them ran 5+ days a week. And NONE of them looked like me. Feeling a bit self-conscience and defeated I muted the group. I told myself to do the best that I could. If I could only fit in a mile each week - that was fine. But I didn’t need to put any more pressure on myself.
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