A Walk Home

On the last weekend of October we spent some time out at our "old house". The one in a tiny sleepy town that seems so untouched by change. The house that I grew up in. The house that Emery spent a good three years in. We spent some time in those old rooms that held onto so many memories. We sat on the porch listening to the breeze rustle the leaves on the trees. We saw some of the people we used to call neighbors. And we took a walk down those old dirt roads. 

Emery sometimes asks why we can't go back there. Why we can't live out in that house with the great big yard so she can freely run around in her undies. Kids. She asks why we can't move back to that town where it's quiet, and there are no cars passing by at all hours. Not that the town we currently live in is a major city, or anything (our population is a little over 3,600). But there's a noticeable difference. I remember the first time I moved to a big city and how I felt this huge sense of awe, excitement, and wonder about it. You probably could have seen stars in my eyes as I walked around the whole time I lived there. I was so proud to finally be a city girl, and I was sure that the move would catapult me into this fast paced lifestyle that I so desperately craved. I look back on that time with gratitude because I did grow. But I laugh too because I spent a lot of my free time out in the "country" while I was there because the quiet was what comforted me. I imagine my little sometimes feels similar to that. Experiencing the excitement of having neighbors, and kids that run around the streets. Having the park only a few blocks away, and street lights on every corner. Yet the longing for the peacefulness, the darkness, and the calm that comes from a small town that has your closest neighbors miles down the road.

That house, and that town holds so much of my heart. When I think of home I normally think of where I live now. Our living room, the community, my great big bed, our dogs, and the memories here. But an image of that place always comes to mind too. How I grew up there, had a lot of my firsts there, and how Emery was lucky enough to call that place her home too for awhile. Her imagination was nurtured there, and her love of being outdoors started there as well. It's a place that we both have to hold on to. So that weekend of being back stirred up so much. It made me smile from ear to ear, and I watched blissfully as she sat in a lawn chair while reading a book. We went for a walk around our old running trail, and balanced ourselves on the railroad tracks. There was a lot of laughing, and when the time came for us to head back we were content with the little time that we had both gotten to spend at home.